The 50 Plus Cafe, Pub, All-Nite Greasy Spoon and Dive Bar

Been up since about 0230. Mom had a paranoid dementia episode last night. She told me that she just couldn't hold it in anymore. My girls have been sneaking out of the house at night and meeting people out by the road and talking real loud or bringing them into the house. She told me that she could see and hear them and told me what door they were using. She told me they were still out there. Sooo, I took her to their rooms and showed her that they were there and asked if they had left the house. They of course said no and she said "likely story." and harrumphed off to sit in the living room for the duration of the night. I sat up with her answering her questions about how long I had been dealing with it. Why hadn't I stopped them. Did I know the people they were meeting etc. it's gonna be a long day and I have to figure out how to protect them from all this.
She has done the same thing to the house keeper, home health care nurse and the physical therapist. Once she starts in on one of these dramatic stories she doesn't let go...ever. no matter what. The night my dad passed here at home with hospice, I stayed up with him wetting his lips with a sponge and giving him morphine drops every 2-3 hours. She still tells family that I stayed up with him to steal his morphine. The morphine bottle came up missing in the morning after he passed and the nurse told my mom she took had taken it as per protocol. She wouldn't hear it. I'm the son that tortured the last few hours of my dad's life, still.

It's not her fault but this is so hard. Do we leave when she needs us to protect my daughters? Is the damage already done and we should just ignore it? Do we try to correct her and risk her disappointment?

I've got some thinking to do for sure.

Everyone, hug those around you as your day starts. Make a great day today.

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We need a hug emoji! I'm so sorry you're going through this. It's very hard for us to see our parents decline. Dementia is a horrid condition! 🫂🫂🫂
 
I designed this one. LOTS of closets, Huge pantry, lots of storage. I hate clutter. At least you can close a door on clutter in a closet.
Huge closets are a must up north. We go from -30F to 100F. You need clothes for those temps and everything in between!
A pantry is a must, because who wants to leave the house at -30F! :ROFLMAO:
My husband designed our house. We also have huge closets! And a storage room!
 
Eh.

Visit with her yesterday. She's trying more things. She told me she's not out of ideas yet. We just need to work through them (This is something like my 14th visit to her, not including countless emails/messages). I do trust her, she's sharing her concerns and thoughts with me.

Some blood work numbers improved on their own this month. That appears to driven by inflammation, which appears to be driven by allergies, which are reduced due to winter+snow+freezing...
Continue to work with her. It seems she want to find answers for you. 🫂🫂

I tell all my providers they need to be my partner in my care.
 
ICU nurses do that, too. One of my friends said, in front of a doctor, " Oh, thank god! A REAL doctor just walked in!" This was when the Intensivist (an ICU specialist doctor) walked in. The other doctor was trying to give her orders for a patient that would have resulted in an unsatisfactory outcome. She, of course, was refusing. 🤣🤣🤣
Hahaja... I told q doc to give me a fucking break...he ordered abd pain workups on 4 patients at the same time and told me it was my fault someone was refusing a CT because I was too slow.... I said you see all those fancy nurses sitting at the table having coffee while I struggle...if you really cared about the pt you would stop playing a game on your phone and get me some help instead of coming to me with that bullshit... he never did that again...all the other docs laughed......
 
Been up since about 0230. Mom had a paranoid dementia episode last night. She told me that she just couldn't hold it in anymore. My girls have been sneaking out of the house at night and meeting people out by the road and talking real loud or bringing them into the house. She told me that she could see and hear them and told me what door they were using. She told me they were still out there. Sooo, I took her to their rooms and showed her that they were there and asked if they had left the house. They of course said no and she said "likely story." and harrumphed off to sit in the living room for the duration of the night. I sat up with her answering her questions about how long I had been dealing with it. Why hadn't I stopped them. Did I know the people they were meeting etc. it's gonna be a long day and I have to figure out how to protect them from all this.
She has done the same thing to the house keeper, home health care nurse and the physical therapist. Once she starts in on one of these dramatic stories she doesn't let go...ever. no matter what. The night my dad passed here at home with hospice, I stayed up with him wetting his lips with a sponge and giving him morphine drops every 2-3 hours. She still tells family that I stayed up with him to steal his morphine. The morphine bottle came up missing in the morning after he passed and the nurse told my mom she took had taken it as per protocol. She wouldn't hear it. I'm the son that tortured the last few hours of my dad's life, still.

It's not her fault but this is so hard. Do we leave when she needs us to protect my daughters? Is the damage already done and we should just ignore it? Do we try to correct her and risk her disappointment?

I've got some thinking to do for sure.
Dementia is a horrible disease, so my heart goes out to you. My dad had it for a few years and I think my mum may be starting to show signs of it.

With my dad, it was more that he went back about 50 years, so the house he was in wasn't his house so every evening he'd try and pack his stuff up so he could go "home". Also he thought his siblings and friends were still alive etc. I ended up having to move back in with my mum to help her look after him as she didn't want to put him in a nursing home.

If each of your mom's episodes is "new" to her (i.e. she doesn't remember the past ones) it may be worth a different tack - tell her you've allowed your daughters to go out and talk to people outside, they're allowed in, if they're noisy you'll go have a word. That may placate your mom and settle her down. With my dad, when he started saying he wanted to go "home", me and my mum would say things like "not yet, we'll have a cup of tea first" or "we'll stay at Jay's tonight and go tomorrow" and he'd be Ok for a bit after that.

Failing that, a bit of gallows humour and talking to someone does help. Know I've never met you before but feel free to drop me a PM if you want or need to. 😊
 
That homemade stuff will spoil you! That's true for a lot of fruit based products. We put up over fifteen gallons of berries and cherries this summer. It was a crap year for apples, or we would have had another 5 gallons of fruit.
I love cherries. During the season, I buy so much! Part of them get eaten fresh. Some go into the freezer. I don't make jam but I do make my own cherry pie filling. It goes into tons of things! 😋 🍒 😋
 
I dont know how to can... and to be honest sort of scares me.... we had a thing here where someone brought potato salad to a church picnic and gave a whole bunch of people botulism.... a whole bunch of them died and one was my patient in the er...it was awful
OMG! That does sound awful!

I don't can either, for much the same reason!
 
It has been 20 years... I think was just potatoes. All I know is the depth of health traced it back and tested it and bingo bango botulism.
One can get botulism from potatoes???

OK. I just looked it up. Seems baking potatoes in foil and leaving the foil on as they cool can reawaken spores. This article also referenced your church picnic:
https://foodpoisoningbulletin.com/2018/potatoes-food-poisoning-botulism-listeria/
The botulism was from home-canned potatoes.
 
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I’ve had a couple of busy days at work, coupled with a drunken mosh fest with some of my neighbors.

Just checking in here I’ll go back a few pages and try to catch up as much as I can.

Hope everyone had a good end of the week and has a good weekend planned.

We will be rounding and splitting firewood tomorrow. A memorial service for my mom on Sunday.
Make it a good send off for your mom. 🫂🫂
 
I swear we need to have a swap.... like I will bring fresh apples you bring a pile of blackberries someone ( lilianna) bakes something wat makes gravy etc... and we share ....wouldn't that be a good idea?

Too bad we all live in different states
Too bad we don't have that transporter technology! And I would DEFINITELY bake!
 
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