How to Initiate Sex

[AnnyMouse28]

I am not used to initiating sex. My sexual history didn't really allow for me to really initiate. I am ready to change that. I want to surprise my current partner with me initiating some playtime. What is the best way to initiate sex? What do you like your partner to do? What turns you on?

 

[Britva415]

There are a lot of ways to do it. Your profile says you're a straight woman, so, presumably your partner is a man. That probably will make things easier, because with a lot of men, you can just get straight into it with no preamble. Just march up to him and hug and kiss him. He'll get the hint and probably respond immediately.

If that's more forward than you want to be, either because it doesn't give you time to anticipate it and warm up to it, or because the timing isn't right (maybe you're in public or something), you can do a slow-burn too:

Hint at it before it's time to do it.

Do or say something to let your partner know you're thinking about how attractive he is and what you two could get up to together if you could be alone. Get close and breathe his air.

Touch him, subtly but suggestively. Just on the arm sometimes is enough, but also consider his chest, his lower back, his neck, his head, his butt, his thigh. Let the touch be soft and let it linger, before breaking the contact. Make him wonder, or, bait him into responding by getting him aroused and thinking about becoming the pursuer.

It doesn't have to be a slow-burn either, it could be sending the signals and seeking immediate attention. Get in his space. Brush your bust against his arm or back, as if innocently hugging but with a twinkle in your eye. Breathe across his ear when you hug. Don't pucker up and "blow" hard in there but just let him feel your warm breath on his ear or neck.

You can also just use your words and ask/talk about it. "Hey, should we get in bed today?" You can say "later" or you can say "right now" or whatever it is you're thinking. You can just tell him you're horny! Or you can say that you want to please him/give him a treat. So what if it's really for you? He'll love hearing it.

If he seems busy but you think you can interrupt without it being a problem for him, put yourself in his field of vision and stand there, smiling. Touching your hair. When he looks up, act like you're blushing shyly. Most people can't blush at will but can still do the body language. A self-conscious smile, a quick look-away and look-back at him. He'll know something's up. Say "Heeey." in that flirty voice.

I mean, these are just a small handful of ideas. There are so many ways to just close the distance between you two, create a sense of closeness and intimacy, and let nature take its course. He'll appreciate it and be interested, I'm sure of it.

There is no "one best way," and it depends on your particular partner too. But the above should get things moving along, and, the more you do it, the more you'll know how to push his sexybuttons and get playtime started.

 

[davion2308]

Touching does it. Start touching your partner. And kiss their neck, their face, not just their mouth. Pull their shirt off over their head and kiss their neck more. That'll give them the idea.

 

[magic_rat]

Just look him in the eye and say "I want you to fuck me, now".

Men are simple beasts and respond well to instruction. We'll do the rest.

 

[HottieOlwen]

I am not used to initiating sex. My sexual history didn't really allow for me to really initiate. I am ready to change that. I want to surprise my current partner with me initiating some playtime. What is the best way to initiate sex? What do you like your partner to do? What turns you on?

As I am in charge in our FLM, and my cuckold has been trained to do as he's told, if I need to be satisfied (and believe me, I often do!) I just sit on my cuckold's face and wriggle. His tongue does the rest, as his inadequately sized cock isn't up to the job. (And I keep him caged anyway, so he can't get a proper hard on even if he wanted to.)

 

[Darkweather]

Have to agree with Magic Rat: "Let's fuck" will usually do it.

 

[magic_rat]

There's the more blatant version; sometimes I get home from work and my partner is naked on the bed, usually with a toy.

Those are the days I can shower in about 30 seconds.

 

[TheUKGent]

Words work for me. magic_rat's not wrong with what they've said, and I'd build on that by saying that it doesn't have to be immediate. Earlier in the day, suggest some ideas or thoughts on what you'd like to do later on, and just build on that throughout the day. Don't be too subtle though or your man may well miss it. The right words at the right time will have him figuratively (or literally) eating out of your hand.

 

[Britva415]

I am not used to initiating sex. My sexual history didn't really allow for me to really initiate. I am ready to change that. I want to surprise my current partner with me initiating some playtime. What is the best way to initiate sex? What do you like your partner to do? What turns you on?

So, how has this been going? Did you try any of the feedback you've gotten?

 

[AnnyMouse28]

So, how has this been going? Did you try any of the feedback you've gotten?

There hasn't been much of an opportunity lately.

I do appreciate all the advice and I really like the ideas of it starting well before we are actually in bed.

 

[magic_rat]

Make opportunities.

text him. say you want his cock in your mouth the moment he walks through the door.

He will break speed limits to get home.

 

[Vivian251]

Make opportunities.

text him. say you want his cock in your mouth the moment he walks through the door.

He will break speed limits to get home.

That's a great idea!lol

 

[coati]

When my partner asks, "Do you wanna make love?"'--- I respond affirmatively, and then we make sure to get each other off and stay in a naked embrace for as long as possible afterwards.

That all makes it easier to repeat this straightforward process every week.

It also helps that we live separately, so we can build up a charge between sessions.

 

[AnnyMouse28]

"Do you wanna make love?"'-

That phrase makes me roll my eyes. There is nothing close to "making love" going on in my life.

 

[Britva415]

That phrase makes me roll my eyes. There is nothing close to "making love" going on in my life.

Do you no longer have a "current partner" like you mentioned in your original post?

 

[AnnyMouse28]

Do you no longer have a "current partner" like you mentioned in your original post?

Yes have current partner. But sex does not equal love making.

 

[Britva415]

Yes have current partner. But sex does not equal love making.

I see. Sounds unfortunate.

 

[coati]

That phrase makes me roll my eyes. There is nothing close to "making love" going on in my life.

It's the preferred term of my Catholic-raised partner. She doesn't even swear. But she loves sex and gets off several times during each session, once or twice during foreplay, and then again with a mutual orgasm after I get my cock inside her.

Therefore, I don't care what she calls it, because I know it will be wild. Her enthusiasm during each session motivates me to immediately respond to her code words of initiation.

 

[AnnyMouse28]

I see. Sounds unfortunate.

It's not great. But something is better than nothing.

 

[AnnyMouse28]

It's the preferred term of my Catholic-raised partner. She doesn't even swear. But she loves sex and gets off several times during each session, once or twice during foreplay, and then again with a mutual orgasm after I get my cock inside her.

Therefore, I don't care what she calls it, because I know it will be wild. Her enthusiasm during each session motivates me to immediately respond to her code words of initiation.

I will admit my eye roll is more out of jealously than because I think it is silly or anything. I am glad that you have an enthusiastic partner and a satisfying sex life. Again there is jealously.

 

[coati]

I

I will admit my eye roll is more out of jealously than because I think it is silly or anything. I am glad that you have an enthusiastic partner and a satisfying sex life. Again there is jealously.

I had to go through a couple of long term relationships before I found one that really clicked. This one has now been working for 19 years (knock on wood).

Remarkably, we did not start this relationship because of sexual chemistry. We met in a professional setting and started dating because of mutual respect, That formed a much better foundation for a sustainable sexual relationship.

I was pleasantly surprised that she was so affectionate, expressive, and uninhibited during sex. Maybe that was the key to her willingness to initiate and my receptiveness to having her initiate.

I recall the first time she took the lead by sucking me to an erection, getting on top of me, riding me with breasts bouncing up and down, moaning as she got off, and then immediately pulling me on top so I could take her completely.

Heck yeah, I'm fine with her initiating sex, and we get along in other ways, also. Living separately seems to make all this easier--much more space for each of us. She's not into makeup and has lots of practical skills-- not a typical girly girl, but a sexual dynamo, nonetheless.

 

[AnnyMouse28]

She's not into makeup and has lots of practical skills-- not a typical girly girl,

Funny, that could describe me as well.

 

[coati]

Funny, that could describe me as well.

That is one of the biggest turn-ons in my long term relationship. We can freely express our natural sensuality, even while doing construction projects together.

It took us a while to find each other. After two failed relationships, a counselor had advised me to write down what was ESSENTIAL (not optional) in a long-term relationship so I could check off items on that list when dating. It worked.

We had known and respected each other for years in professional settings, so there was no online searching involved.

 

[AnnyMouse28]

That is one of the biggest turn-ons in my long term relationship. We can freely express our natural sensuality, even while doing construction projects together.

It took us a while to find each other. After two failed relationships, a counselor had advised me to write down what was ESSENTIAL (not optional) in a long-term relationship so I could check off items on that list when dating. It worked.

What were some of your essentials, if you don’t mind sharing?

 

[Britva415]

my Catholic-raised partner

a sexual dynamo

Ah, you're making my heart ache with memories of Catholic girls from my past