Thinking aloud: How I lose you between chapters

[burgwad]

Ah, to post a multi-chapter, slow-burn, I/T work.

Chapters one and two are well-received. Two beautiful teens flirt by a scenic, unnamed lake. No time period specified. No twists. No kinks. Story proceeds breezily, with a slow but steady escalation of sexual tension culminating in initial release by the end of chapter two. I know in my bones, before I post these chapters, that they are crowd-pleasers.

Chapter three is different. The twins sneak out. Two new characters are introduced. They have strong personalities. They are assertive, sexual, and reckless. Problematically, what sex does happen is not explicitly I/T. A minor sin in itself, made worse by the absence of any I/T elsewhere in the chapter.

Chapter four commits the much more serious I/T sin of depicting male MC bisexuality. Nevermind that it has been both tagged and foreshadowed. Male bisexuality is a full time no-no, and I am informed that I have ruined the story. Also, I am taking too long to get my MCs to fuck. Two whole chapters have elapsed without explicit I/T sex? Ridiculous.

Chapter five sees the teens back home. They process recent events. They flirt. Readers finally get another dose of I/T content. But it isn’t nearly enough. Readers demand to know: Why are these biological siblings so hesitant to fuck in a stone silent cabin with their parents home? Why am I wasting everyone’s time trying to build up tension and stakes, when I could just be writing wall-to-wall I/T? Explain myself!

Is it a bad time to announce that both MCs are also now grounded, thwarting their plans of an all-day orgy with their new friends? It is? Shoot.

I’m still learning. But what I’m learning is hard to articulate. I know by now from a big picture perspective how to please the readers. I do! I know that each chapter should build on the last, escalate the sex a notch at a time, and deliver unerringly on the central premise. But my latest is a sincere effort to craft something like that, and still it’s only in hindsight that I can make sense of where I went wrong.

Did you ever put out a series that started off popular and then declined? If so, what was your interpretation of what happened?

 

[StillStunned]

Not an answer to your question, but a comment on the I/T readership: what I learned was that the I/T sex is what they want. Anything else is background noise. In my series My Little Sister Sal, by the fourth chapter the siblings end up having a threesome with the brother's girlfriend. It's been foreshadowed ever since the second chapter. It went down very well, with the highest rating for the entire series.

But I got a comment that the narrator should have spent more of the threesome banging his sister.

I get the feeling that I/T readers just gloss over everything that isn't immediately their I/T kink.

 

[Yarglenurp]

Not an answer to your question, but a comment on the I/T readership: what I learned was that the I/T sex is what they want. Anything else is background noise. In my series My Little Sister Sal, by the fourth chapter the siblings end up having a threesome with the brother's girlfriend. It's been foreshadowed ever since the second chapter. It went down very well, with the highest rating for the entire series.

But I got a comment that the narrator should have spent more of the threesome banging his sister.

I get the feeling that I/T readers just gloss over everything that isn't immediately their I/T kink.

That’s probably most categories

 

[SimonDoom]

I believe strongly in the concept of "erotic focus." I think it makes a story stronger, more artistically cohesive, and also more erotic.
I/T readers in general want the story they are reading to stick closely to the I/T theme. They're not interested in other elements.
I wrote an 8-chapter I/T mom-son story where in each chapter the action between mom and son ratcheted up until the relationship was consummated in the 8th chapter. For some it went on too long, but many liked it. For each chapter I tried to provide a sufficient payoff while simultaneously teasing the readers with the promise of what would come next. I didn't get side-tracked with other characters and other kinks. The last chapter was well received, although in retrospect I think I rushed the sex scene a bit.

I think some authors get caught up in the creative power they have and think, "I've created this great hot character named Wanda, and I'm going to throw every possible kinky thing at her." Most of the time, I don't think that works. I think an author is better off exploring a new kink with a new story and a new character.

 

[alohadave]

I think some authors get caught up in the creative power they have and think, "I've created this great hot character named Wanda, and I'm going to throw every possible kinky thing at her." Most of the time, I don't think that works. I think an author is better off exploring a new kink with a new story and a new character.

Plot escalation happens to a lot of stories, especially as the chapter count goes up.

You can predict the stages if you read enough examples. Like the teacher humiliation stories are all remarkably similar, and they follow the tropes religiously. The stakes have to keep increasing until you get to a point where a normal person would hit their limit and get the fuck out of Dodge.

 

[SimonDoom]

Plot escalation happens to a lot of stories, especially as the chapter count goes up.

You can predict the stages if you read enough examples. Like the teacher humiliation stories are all remarkably similar, and they follow the tropes religiously. The stakes have to keep increasing until you get to a point where a normal person would hit their limit and get the fuck out of Dodge.

Since I am a plotter, I write with an end in mind, and each chapter is written to get me closer to that end.

I think where some stories go awry is that authors have no end in mind, and they think, "I've had Wanda do crazy things for the last five chapters and I've got to make her do something even crazier in the next chapter" without regard to whether it's headed anywhere. This is how many multi-chapter stories go way beyond their shelf life. My view is it's better to end too soon than too late. "Get the fuck out of Dodge" as you say, and just move the fuck on to another story.

 

[Rob_Royale]

Readership for sequels falls off by 2/3 or more, even in the most popular categories. There's no way around it. Most readers want one and done, or so it seems.

Aunt Tina, Recovering Slut Vol. 01
08/30/2023 in Incest/Taboo Stories
Hot 4.66 / 60.5k views

Aunt Tina, Recovering Slut Vol. 02
10/13/2023 in Incest/Taboo Stories
Hot 4.8 / 16.8k views

Aunt Tina, Recovering Slut Vol. 03
01/21/2024 in Incest/Taboo Stories
Hot 4.85 / 13.7k views

 

[Yarglenurp]

I tens to stop reading a series if it goes beyond 8 chapters, and if it’s an old series, I’ll just skip to the last few chapters.

 

[Britva415]

Most readers aren’t regulars; they don’t visit the site consistently.

How can you tell?

 

[RejectReality]

Readership for sequels falls off by 2/3 or more, even in the most popular categories. There's no way around it. Most readers want one and done, or so it seems.

Aunt Tina, Recovering Slut Vol. 01
08/30/2023 in Incest/Taboo Stories
Hot 4.66 / 60.5k views

Aunt Tina, Recovering Slut Vol. 02
10/13/2023 in Incest/Taboo Stories
Hot 4.8 / 16.8k views

Aunt Tina, Recovering Slut Vol. 03
01/21/2024 in Incest/Taboo Stories
Hot 4.85 / 13.7k views

It just looks that way because there's no way to differentiate between views that represent people who read to the end and people who left on paragraph #2 in a single submission. Multiple chapters let you see this attrition. To some extent, really long ( in excess of 6 Lit pages ) single submissions demonstrate this as well. They typically have lower vote/favorite/comment numbers than a similar, shorter story, but end up with higher scores because only the people who are loving it reach the end to vote. It's the same attrition factor, but you don't get to see it broken down as you do when posting chapters.

 

[NaughteeDragon]

This is a concern that I have. I have a long, slow burn I/T piece I’m writing. The I/T doesn’t occur until chapter 5. I would love to publish it in Novel length or Romance, which is what it is, but it has to go in IT because of content.

 

[RetroFan]

Not an answer to your question, but a comment on the I/T readership: what I learned was that the I/T sex is what they want. Anything else is background noise. In my series My Little Sister Sal, by the fourth chapter the siblings end up having a threesome with the brother's girlfriend. It's been foreshadowed ever since the second chapter. It went down very well, with the highest rating for the entire series.

But I got a comment that the narrator should have spent more of the threesome banging his sister.

I get the feeling that I/T readers just gloss over everything that isn't immediately their I/T kink.

That's my experience with the IT category, the seeming lack of interest in new or different ideas, either rejecting them outright or commenting negatively upon them saying they are boring is frustrating.

For example, say someone publishes an IT story with an 'alternate reality' plot, where the main character is a 20-year-old male college student. As the university campus is only 10 minutes from their house he lives at home to save on costs with his parents and his younger brother Jamie, an 18-year-old who attends high school as a senior but who is an annoying slacker, often playing computer games at all hours and in general making a nuisance of himself. One seemingly ordinary day however, the main character runs an errand and he takes a wrong turn while driving, then another, and another and another until he winds up disoriented and lost and miles off course in a bad sort of neighbourhood. Pulling himself together he backtracks and drives back home, only to find a huge surprise.

He no longer has an 18-year-old brother named Jamie whom he last saw earlier that morning, he now has an 18-year-old sister named Jamie, a very pretty sister dressed in her high school cheerleader outfit and very different in personality too from the brother she 'replaced' this very morning. In everyone else's eyes Jamie has always been a girl and they know no different not even Jamie herself, and all the photos and home videos etc. have changed and Jamie always was a girl. Only the main character knows different, and he finds himself in the odd situation of having 'lost' his brother, not being able to explain this to anyone else, and living with a sister he doesn't know, an attractive sister who he starts to find very desirable indeed ...

This premise could make an interesting story if written well, but such a story would probably attract comments just wanting the older brother to get into the younger sister's panties, or readers rejecting it saying it is too weird and they just want an ordinary IT story.

 

[TheLobster]

This premise could make an interesting story if written well, but such a story would probably attract comments just wanting the older brother to get into the younger sister's panties, or readers rejecting it saying it is too weird and they just want an ordinary IT story.

As long as he does get into them, I can’t see why it wouldn’t do well. This is not that different to a common setting where a single parent of an adult kid remarries, introduces an equally adult and attractive step-sibling of the opposite sex, and unwittingly spurs all kinds of sexual tension between them.

Indeed, it is probably even more exciting and taboo than that since alt!Jamie would consider MMC a flesh-and-blood brother whereas she would be more like his stepsister.

 

[Lifestyle66]

I read stories.

I don't tend to read series. I might read a "Chapter 1" story. But it's rare that I'll click on anything in the New lists which is beyond chapter 1, unless I happen to remember that first chapter as really outstanding.

So, your first chapter must be the very best with a title and description which grabs my attention as possibly being worthy of the wait for a follow-on. Then that first chapter must deliver the story quality by the end of Ch 1, making me remember it. And the longer you wait to post the next chapters, the more my memory fades.

 

[Kelliezgirl]

That's my experience with the IT category, the seeming lack of interest in new or different ideas, either rejecting them outright or commenting negatively upon them saying they are boring is frustrating.

For example, say someone publishes an IT story with an 'alternate reality' plot, where the main character is a 20-year-old male college student. As the university campus is only 10 minutes from their house he lives at home to save on costs with his parents and his younger brother Jamie, an 18-year-old who attends high school as a senior but who is an annoying slacker, often playing computer games at all hours and in general making a nuisance of himself. One seemingly ordinary day however, the main character runs an errand and he takes a wrong turn while driving, then another, and another and another until he winds up disoriented and lost and miles off course in a bad sort of neighbourhood. Pulling himself together he backtracks and drives back home, only to find a huge surprise.

He no longer has an 18-year-old brother named Jamie whom he last saw earlier that morning, he now has an 18-year-old sister named Jamie, a very pretty sister dressed in her high school cheerleader outfit and very different in personality too from the brother she 'replaced' this very morning. In everyone else's eyes Jamie has always been a girl and they know no different not even Jamie herself, and all the photos and home videos etc. have changed and Jamie always was a girl. Only the main character knows different, and he finds himself in the odd situation of having 'lost' his brother, not being able to explain this to anyone else, and living with a sister he doesn't know, an attractive sister who he starts to find very desirable indeed ...

This premise could make an interesting story if written well, but such a story would probably attract comments just wanting the older brother to get into the younger sister's panties, or readers rejecting it saying it is too weird and they just want an ordinary IT story.

Write it and find out...

 

[lovecraft68]

Since I am a plotter, I write with an end in mind, and each chapter is written to get me closer to that end.

I think where some stories go awry is that authors have no end in mind, and they think, "I've had Wanda do crazy things for the last five chapters and I've got to make her do something even crazier in the next chapter" without regard to whether it's headed anywhere. This is how many multi-chapter stories go way beyond their shelf life. My view is it's better to end too soon than too late. "Get the fuck out of Dodge" as you say, and just move the fuck on to another story.

This is why I'm not a fan of series in general. Too many of them are just additional sex scenes between the characters. Chapter two- They do it in a pool, chapter three, Jenny takes it in the ass, Chapter four, mom joins in...

This is why I'm a thrill of the kill writer. Once that ice is broken, the conflict is resolved as the characters get together, anything after that in most stories is jkust continued fucking and the readers who will say "more, more more," just like they'll ordered the same coffee day after day.

 

[SimonDoom]

This is why I'm not a fan of series in general. Too many of them are just additional sex scenes between the characters. Chapter two- They do it in a pool, chapter three, Jenny takes it in the ass, Chapter four, mom joins in...

This is why I'm a thrill of the kill writer. Once that ice is broken, the conflict is resolved as the characters get together, anything after that in most stories is jkust continued fucking and the readers who will say "more, more more," just like they'll ordered the same coffee day after day.

I operate from a similar principle, but with a different name. I call it "first time is best." The first time my character gets naked in public, or tries anal sex, or has sex with mom, is the best and most erotic. If I cannot find a way of "ratcheting up" the eroticism in the next chapter, then I just want to move on to another story. I'm not interested in "piling on" a long list of crazy sex things for my character to try.

There are some people who say they have series where one of the chapters will take a break from the sex, but I think, all things considered, that's a mistake most of the time, and the way around it is just to submit a longer chapter so it includes sex at the end (by "sex" I mean whatever the kink is that the category of the story or chapter is based around -- it doesn't have to be actual intercourse).

 

[AwkwardlySet]

This is why I'm not a fan of series in general. Too many of them are just additional sex scenes between the characters. Chapter two- They do it in a pool, chapter three, Jenny takes it in the ass, Chapter four, mom joins in...

This is why I'm a thrill of the kill writer. Once that ice is broken, the conflict is resolved as the characters get together, anything after that in most stories is jkust continued fucking and the readers who will say "more, more more," just like they'll ordered the same coffee day after day.

I think it generally depends on the type of story. I agree with you when it comes to the type of chaptered story you described - where every new chapter is just a new sexual episode, often modeled to cover all the popular kinks and varieties. This is often the case with writers who follow the Patreon model, where the author prolongs the story in such a way that there are no definitive endings, ever. This is an approach that financially makes a lot of sense, I suppose, but of course, the story as a whole isn't very coherent nor does it lead anywhere in particular.

I also disagree strongly when it comes to the type of chaptered story where new chapters keep building up on the main plot and its characters and world. This type of story does eventually end and this model makes a lot of sense to me. A large story like that needs to be split into chapters for a platform such as this one. Few would start reading a Lit story of, say 300k words unless they'd already read the author's work and liked it. But even then, new readers would avoid such a format like the plague. How do you even track where you left off in a 300k-word Lit story? Chaptering such stories is not only smart, it is necessary.

 

[Kelliezgirl]

This is why I'm not a fan of series in general. Too many of them are just additional sex scenes between the characters. Chapter two- They do it in a pool, chapter three, Jenny takes it in the ass, Chapter four, mom joins in...

This is why I'm a thrill of the kill writer. Once that ice is broken, the conflict is resolved as the characters get together, anything after that in most stories is jkust continued fucking and the readers who will say "more, more more," just like they'll ordered the same coffee day after day.

If your focus is the sex, then I 100% agree with you. Once you've gotten to that point it's just a matter of wrapping things up. Lots of series are just two static characters having sex in different ways and different places, and that's all there is to it.
That said, if the point of the story is something more, we are developing the characters, continuing to build a relationship, or if the sex is just incidental to the bigger story, then multiple chapters make sense.

 

[lovecraft68]

If your focus is the sex, then I 100% agree with you. Once you've gotten to that point it's just a matter of wrapping things up. Lots of series are just two static characters having sex in different ways and different places, and that's all there is to it.
That said, if the point of the story is something more, we are developing the characters, continuing to build a relationship, or if the sex is just incidental to the bigger story, then multiple chapters make sense.

I agree, but it seems like most series the focus is on the sex especially in a category like incest or group, the more sex centric categories.

When I started here it was a long taboo series in one respect the series was very story driven, but being new here I felt I needed sex in every chapter and although I mixed it up as much as I could, its still the same people. When I did a re-write to publish it elsewhere, I trimmed half the sex scenes out of it.

 

[lovecraft68]

That's my experience with the IT category, the seeming lack of interest in new or different ideas, either rejecting them outright or commenting negatively upon them saying they are boring is frustrating.

For example, say someone publishes an IT story with an 'alternate reality' plot, where the main character is a 20-year-old male college student. As the university campus is only 10 minutes from their house he lives at home to save on costs with his parents and his younger brother Jamie, an 18-year-old who attends high school as a senior but who is an annoying slacker, often playing computer games at all hours and in general making a nuisance of himself. One seemingly ordinary day however, the main character runs an errand and he takes a wrong turn while driving, then another, and another and another until he winds up disoriented and lost and miles off course in a bad sort of neighbourhood. Pulling himself together he backtracks and drives back home, only to find a huge surprise.

He no longer has an 18-year-old brother named Jamie whom he last saw earlier that morning, he now has an 18-year-old sister named Jamie, a very pretty sister dressed in her high school cheerleader outfit and very different in personality too from the brother she 'replaced' this very morning. In everyone else's eyes Jamie has always been a girl and they know no different not even Jamie herself, and all the photos and home videos etc. have changed and Jamie always was a girl. Only the main character knows different, and he finds himself in the odd situation of having 'lost' his brother, not being able to explain this to anyone else, and living with a sister he doesn't know, an attractive sister who he starts to find very desirable indeed ...

This premise could make an interesting story if written well, but such a story would probably attract comments just wanting the older brother to get into the younger sister's panties, or readers rejecting it saying it is too weird and they just want an ordinary IT story.

I don't think you mean it this way, but this is one of those "I/T readers are dumber than other readers and don't want anything more than Oh, wow, look at my sister's tits."

There is a stroke faction like that, but they exist in every category. But what also exists are readers who are happy to get something different, and an actual story out of it.

I've mentioned before that one of a very small number of stories here that carry a Red H a blue W and a Green E is a lesbian incest sc-fi time travel story, because the author, Paco Fear, rocked the shit out of it.

You never know how a story will be received until you write the story.

For my entry in @StillStunned WIWAW challenge I talk about a story that on the surface should have been epically trashed by the readership for the reason and how the incest happens. Ended up going over very well.

I/T readers are not mouth breathers, and having that said-and again I'm not saying you were doing that-by people here who don't know the category, who are jealous of the numbers, and who couldn't write a good one to save their lives, gets old.

 

[Kelliezgirl]

I agree, but it seems like most series the focus is on the sex especially in a category like incest or group, the more sex centric categories.

When I started here it was a long taboo series in one respect the series was very story driven, but being new here I felt I needed sex in every chapter and although I mixed it up as much as I could, its still the same people. When I did a re-write to publish it elsewhere, I trimmed half the sex scenes out of it.

There is some pressure here to "sex it up". How many conversations have we had in the AH about, "do I need to add a sex scene" or "how much of a slow burn can I get away with", "Should I warn the readers there is no sex in this chapter".
And I've obviously written some sex heavy stuff, I just think we should be careful about making ourselves slaves to the idea that we NEED a given amount of sex in a story.

 

[Kelliezgirl]

I don't think you mean it this way, but this is one of those "I/T readers are dumber than other readers and don't want anything more than Oh, wow, look at my sister's tits."

There is a stroke faction like that, but they exist in every category. But what also exists are readers who are happy to get something different, and an actual story out of it.

I've mentioned before that one of a very small number of stories here that carry a Red H a blue W and a Green E is a lesbian incest sc-fi time travel story, because the author, Paco Fear, rocked the shit out of it.

You never know how a story will be received until you write the story.

For my entry in @StillStunned WIWAW challenge I talk about a story that on the surface should have been epically trashed by the readership for the reason and how the incest happens. Ended up going over very well.

I/T readers are not mouth breathers, and having that said-and again I'm not saying you were doing that-by people here who don't know the category, who are jealous of the numbers, and who couldn't write a good one to save their lives, gets old.

Great point. One of my most popular stories from a comment/favoriting perspective is an almost 10k word story in IT that has almost no sex, and what there is isn't until the very end. The only negative comment has to do with grammar, I have a tendency to capitalize Mom and Dad regardless of circumstances and got called out on it. No complaints about content.

Readers are looking for all kinds of things...

 

[MillieDynamite]

Primarily, this just happens in all series or even when you post a novella or novel. Some finish, some don't.

 

[RetroFan]

Write it and find out...

To quote Barney from How I Met Your Mother, challenge accepted. I'm going to write an IT story about the Mandela Effect and see what the reaction and feedback is.