Warning Signs on your Stories?

[SimonDoom]

Warning: Contains polysyllabics.
(Consider that a clue.)​

What are you trying to do? Scare everybody off?

 

[Britva415]

We just had this thread last week. Is it already time for it again?

I’m amazed we got this far without hearing from certain people.

 

[SimonDoom]

We just had this thread last week. Is it already time for it again?

 

[TarnishedPenny]

What are you trying to do? Scare everybody off?

Probably.The alternative winds up being akin to, "See Dick. See Dick’s dick. See Jane. Run Jane, run!"

 

[gunhilltrain]

We once had a student enroll in a course entitled "Erotic Literature." He then complained when he found sex in the works assigned. His parents complained as well, and, after some lengthy and heated debate, the Dean insisted that the student be allowed to stay in the course but be assigned romance novels to read instead of the required erotic works.

I issued a caveat to my department members when it was time to submit course proposals: "Warning: the Dean may change the readings for your course if anyone complains about them." The Dean was not happy about it, and neither was he happy about the fact that my tenured position kept him from administering the punishment for insubordination he insisted I was due.

That's a pretty hot BDSM porn trope: the dean or professor who punishes naughty college students. Often in the visual representations, they are wearing academic gowns and mortarboard hats. which is completely unrealistic. Yet who said it has to be realistic?

I have one of those stories on here, but the female professor is wearing conventional clothes. It's all a pretext to seduce a male student, but she does whack him pretty hard. "The semester I asked for an incomplete."

 

[gunhilltrain]

We just had this thread last week. Is it already time for it again?

Like fine wines, thread topics get better with age.

 

[theWollstonecraftWoman]

I suppose my warning should read as follows.

WARING: If you're one of those people who consider fidelity in marriage the most important part, if a wife getting away with adultery or that a husband encouraging her to have fun with another is morally reprehensible, or if you are an individual that only wants to see the bitch burn, DO NOT READ THIS STORY!

 

[StillStunned]

Like fine wines, thread topics get better with age.

And like fine wines, there's nothing wrong with enjoying them whenever someone puts one in front of you.

 

[gunhilltrain]

WARNING - This writer uses 100 words to say what could be said in 10. Enter at your own risk!

Henry James used to do that, and he got away with it. But none of us are Henry James.

 

[StillStunned]

Henry James used to do that, and he got away with it. But none of us are Henry James.

Most fiction writers get away with it. Any story can be reduced to the bare bones. But then it becomes a report, not a story.

A story is about using words to create a journey for your reader to take with you. Sometimes it's a short journey, or a fast one, and sometimes it's a slow and meandering wander through the countryside. But the words you choose decide how you reach your destination, and what your reader experiences along the way.

 

[SoCalAshley]

Warning this story had a detailed plot, but on the other hand, all you want to do is rub one off, there are enough sex scenes in this story to do that.

 

[SimonDoom]

Henry James used to do that, and he got away with it. But none of us are Henry James.

I'd love to see somebody take a stab at writing a Literotica story in the style of Henry James. It would be a daunting task, but done well, extremely entertaining.

 

[WCSGarland]

<snark>Yeah, it's too bad we don't have any entertaining authors hanging about here, eh?</snark>

 

[SimonDoom]

My helpful proposal for an all-purpose warning:

WARNING. DANGER. WILL ROBINSON.

This story is a work of fiction. It consists of people who don't exist doing things that never happened. If this bothers you, read no further.

The author assumes no responsibility for the actions of the characters in this story. They seized control of his keyboard and forced him to write this story without his control. The author neither endorses nor condemns the actions of the characters, unless you, the reader, object to the characters' actions, in which case the author sympathizes but assumes no responsibility.

This story may, but will not necessarily, contain elements of incest, nonconsent, cuckoldry, BDSM, voyeurism, urination, lesbianism, gay sex, crossdressing, quotations from Nickelback songs, and even anal contact. Proceed at your own risk.

This story may contain naughty, obscene, or offensive words, including but not limited to the B-word, the C-word, the N-word, and the Z-word.

The author disclaims all responsibility for the triggering of memories of alien abductions, classroom detentions, power disparities, bullying, combat experiences, unpleasant meals, or being sent to one's room without supper.

There is a high probability that this story contains adverbs, subordinate clauses, sentence fragments, and even appositives. Persons with phobias concerning English grammar and punctuation should beware.

The author hereby disclaims all warranties, including but not limited to the warranties of merchantability, fitness of purpose, and fulfillment of orgasm.

Do not fold, spindle, or mutilate this story.

This story may react badly to sudden movements or threats. Caution, and body armor, are recommended before reading this story.

Contact your physician and psychiatrist before reading this story.

Excessive exposure to this story has been linked to an increased incidence of testicular cancer in laboratory rats.

Enjoy the story, and please leave a comment! Nice comments only, please.

 

[gunhilltrain]

I'd love to see somebody take a stab at writing a Literotica story in the style of Henry James. It would be a daunting task, but done well, extremely entertaining.

That would be quite a challenge. I read Washington Square in college and got through it; I don't remember much about it. Then somebody recommended The Spoils of Poynton and that did me in. It seemed that a character would have a thought and James would stretch two seconds into a page and a half.

If anybody disagrees with my assessment, let me know.

 

[Voboy]

We just had this thread last week. Is it already time for it again?

I interpreted this thread as tongue-in-cheek on the OP's part, but I may be wrong. Plenty of posters are taking it seriously enough, at any rate.

 

[gunhilltrain]

Most fiction writers get away with it. Any story can be reduced to the bare bones. But then it becomes a report, not a story.

A story is about using words to create a journey for your reader to take with you. Sometimes it's a short journey, or a fast one, and sometimes it's a slow and meandering wander through the countryside. But the words you choose decide how you reach your destination, and what your reader experiences along the way.

Well, James was not a bare-bones writer. Have you ever tried to read The Spoils of Poynton?

 

[SimonDoom]

That would be quite a challenge. I read Washington Square in college and got through it; I don't remember much about it. Then somebody recommended The Spoils of Poynton and that did me in. It seemed that a character would have a thought and James would stretch two seconds into a page and a half.

If anybody disagrees with my assessment, let me know.

I'm a big fan of Henry James, but I completely agree with your assessment. I'm not sure why I like James, because he violates every canon of writing economy I can think of and tramples all over the popular idea that you should "show, not tell." When I read him I slow down and adopt a whole different mindset from the one I usually take when I read. I like his way with words. But he can be frustrating to read, no doubt.

I imagine a Henry James-style erotic story would be very strange, because there would be almost no physical description of anything and almost no physical passion. It would all be a matter of describing what the characters are endlessly noodling about in their heads and their elliptical conversations with one another, implying everything and never getting to the point. It could be quite amusing if done right.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

That's a pretty hot BDSM porn trope: the dean or professor who punishes naughty college students. Often in the visual representations, they are wearing academic gowns and mortarboard hats. which is completely unrealistic. Yet who said it has to be realistic?

I have one of those stories on here, but the female professor is wearing conventional clothes. It's all a pretext to seduce a male student, but she does whack him pretty hard. "The semester I asked for an incomplete."

We didn't keep that Dean for long; in fact, we seldom had a Dean reappointed. My favorite tale, though is . . .

I was standing at a colleague's office door for a chat when a pair of woman's bare arms snaked around me from behind. I felt a pair of firm breasts press into my back as a sultry voice whispered in my ear: "Bone man, I want something from you." It was the then-current Dean and she wanted me to design and teach a new course.

(Sorry to stray from the theme of the thread, but it seemed to follow this gunhilltrain of thought.}

 

[Britva415]

I interpreted this thread as tongue-in-cheek […] Plenty of posters are taking it seriously

Both impressions are true. Posters are following in the tongue-in-cheek spirit.

 

[NTR_senpai]

Warning!

Reading this story make make you dumb, but it’ll make you horny as fuck you dirty dawg you!​

 

[RetroFan]

WARNING: THIS STORY IS SET IN AUSTRALIA OR NEW ZEALAND AND WRITTEN BY AN AUTHOR WHO IS FROM AUSTRALIA OR NEW ZEALAND. THERE MIGHT BE MORE DETAILED DESCRIPTIONS OF THE FLORA, FAUNA, GEOGRAPHY, LANDMARKS OR CULTURE OF THESE FAR AWAY LANDS THAN ONE MIGHT FIND IN OTHER STORIES.

This type of warning might be necessary given some negative feedback about how Aussies (including me) and our Kiwi cousins across the ditch put too much detail about non-erotic things in our stories, sort of like excessive world building in science fiction or fantasy stories.

Although at the other end of the scale, a reader said that while he disliked my story set in Sydney earlier this year, he liked the detailed descriptions of Sydney and other cities and towns in New South Wales, so there you go.

 

[gunhilltrain]

We didn't keep that Dean for long; in fact, we seldom had a Dean reappointed. My favorite tale, though is . . .

I was standing at a colleague's office door for a chat when a pair of woman's bare arms snaked around me from behind. I felt a pair of firm breasts press into my back as a sultry voice whispered in my ear: "Bone man, I want something from you." It was the then-current Dean and she wanted me to design and teach a new course.

(Sorry to stray from the theme of the thread, but it seemed to follow this gunhilltrain of thought.}

That sounds like a very interesting university. It seems to generate a lot of story potential. I use my old college a lot in fiction, but I just make it up.

 

[Bramblethorn]

We just had this thread last week. Is it already time for it again?

I believe this version was intended as strongly tongue-in-cheek, but some people missed the joke.

 

[NoTalentHack]

"This story manufactured in a facility that also uses: smut, angst, wheat, dairy, tree nuts, and human nuts."