Curious & Experiences

[james2346]

thanks for the update!
story of my life, it seems - either we can't line up logistics (hosting, day/time, etc) or there is a mismatch of desires. Seems a lot of guys online are too quick to meet up. If that's someones thing I'm certainly not one to judge! But personally I'd really prefer to meet someone I've gone back and forth with a few times at least. Someone I feel sort of comfortable with and enjoy their company. I've meet with a few over the years who swear they are looking to take their time - more of an exploratory and pleasure based experience, not just a quickie. And unfortunately (in my experience anyway) that is rare. Instead they show up and just want to get me off in a hurry and run away.
Bah, I'm probably being too picky! But I'm at the stage where I've satisfied curiosity and now just want to have something mutually pleasurable - relaxed, comfortable, easy going. Journey over destination, that sort of thing. I guess that's a big part of what drew me here - hoping the guys on Lit were more apt to be communicative, interested in exploring fantasies, not so much about hit and run.

i am in the same boat and would like to chat more

 

[tristantrotsky]

My wife lost interest in sex and I got very very horny. I didn't want to run around with another woman so I started thinking about maybe getting a BJ from a guy. I answered an ad on Doublelist and met a guy that wanted to give me a BJ with no reciprocation necessary. We chatted a few times and then met for lunch and then coffee. We discussed things and I decided to give it a try. I was brave enough to reciprocate and enjoyed it.

Such a wonderful and gratifying story. I'm so very glad that you were fortunate enough to find such intense pleasures with each other. That is a valuable thing.

 

[nekkid_handyman]

thanks for the update!
story of my life, it seems - either we can't line up logistics (hosting, day/time, etc) or there is a mismatch of desires. Seems a lot of guys online are too quick to meet up. If that's someones thing I'm certainly not one to judge! But personally I'd really prefer to meet someone I've gone back and forth with a few times at least. Someone I feel sort of comfortable with and enjoy their company. I've meet with a few over the years who swear they are looking to take their time - more of an exploratory and pleasure based experience, not just a quickie. And unfortunately (in my experience anyway) that is rare. Instead they show up and just want to get me off in a hurry and run away.
Bah, I'm probably being too picky! But I'm at the stage where I've satisfied curiosity and now just want to have something mutually pleasurable - relaxed, comfortable, easy going. Journey over destination, that sort of thing. I guess that's a big part of what drew me here - hoping the guys on Lit were more apt to be communicative, interested in exploring fantasies, not so much about hit and run.

I totally agree. I am in the same position. Trying to find someone who has similar interests and desires and getting to know them before just going for the quick blow and go. I often wonder if I'm too picky as well, but I would rather enjoy myself and know the other guy enjoys it as well.

 

[Bi4Older84]

I totally agree. I am in the same position. Trying to find someone who has similar interests and desires and getting to know them before just going for the quick blow and go. I often wonder if I'm too picky as well, but I would rather enjoy myself and know the other guy enjoys it as well.

I would recommend taking your time. It took me AGES to find my regular buddy, but I'm glad that I took the time to get to know someone and establish chemistry. We have had a chance to explore LOTS of fun things, and that wouldn't be possible with a one off blow and go situation.

 

[nekkid_handyman]

I would recommend taking your time. It took me AGES to find my regular buddy, but I'm glad that I took the time to get to know someone and establish chemistry. We have had a chance to explore LOTS of fun things, and that wouldn't be possible with a one off blow and go situation.

I know exactly what you mean. I did have a buddy like that a long time ago and the experience was exactly as you described.

 

[write_or_wrong]

I totally agree. I am in the same position. Trying to find someone who has similar interests and desires and getting to know them before just going for the quick blow and go. I often wonder if I'm too picky as well, but I would rather enjoy myself and know the other guy enjoys it as well.

It's worth the wait and effort to do it right. Keep trying!

 

[CuriousGuyVa]

The desire is strong, I'm working on getting over my own fears and inhibitions.

The fear and inhibitions are strong and hard to get over, especially when the common belief you were brought up with stressed it was a taboo.

 

[Bi_Guy50]

The fear and inhibitions are strong and hard to get over, especially when the common belief you were brought up with stressed it was a taboo.

How we are brought up really can be a hurdle to take that step if an opportunity comes up

 

[Wag_that_tail86]

How we are brought up really can be a hurdle to take that step if an opportunity comes up

With age I've become more open to things, and less judgmental, but one thing that has held me back is fear how people would react. I need to get past that because who we have sex with, or want to have sex with, only matters to us.

 

[CuriousGuyVa]

With age I've become more open to things, and less judgmental, but one thing that has held me back is fear how people would react. I need to get past that because who we have sex with, or want to have sex with, only matters to us.

That could be a tough nut to crack, but like other things in life it had to be decided whether we lives our lives for ourselfs or for others.

 

[CuriousGuyVa]

Does anyone have a New Years resolution to go from curious to experienced... or experienced to more experienced?

I have hopes for myself for the new year coming up...

 

[Northwind75]

It's worth the wait and effort to do it right. Keep trying!

I agree

 

[TheVegasMark]

Does anyone have a New Years resolution to go from curious to experienced... or experienced to more experienced?

I have hopes for myself for the new year coming up...

To not give up in my search for a handsome, uninhibited MWM to be my "body mate" to satisfy by Bi side cravings...!

 

[Southernscot21]

All you’ve gotta do is go on doublelist.com and you can hook up for free

 

[TheVegasMark]

To not give up in my search for a handsome, uninhibited MWM to be my "body mate" to satisfy by Bi side cravings...!

I am way past the point of curious, by the way...!

 

[CuriousGuyVa]

I am way past the point of curious, by the way...!

Good luck to you finding that handsome, uninhibited MWM

 

[NEOhio1972]

Good luck to you finding that handsome, uninhibited MWM

We're out there...... Just have to find that right scenario!!

 

[TheVegasMark]

We're out there...... Just have to find that right scenario!!

No doubt...!

 

[rogerd200]

This is a great thread and it's good to read other men's experiences. Mine is similar to many others. Married, hetero, and didn't even know bi curiosity was a thing for me until marital walls started to go up, needs went unfulfilled. My curiosity with men started in my 30's, the result of lackluster hetero options. Curiosity led to experience, which in turn led to new curiosities and new experiences.

Now I have a lot of experience but still have many curiosities, which keeps things fresh and exciting. I'm fully hetero-romantic and very interested in the physical side with men - cock, balls, cum, etc.

Going down the hidden bi path in life is no small thing. I didn't choose it, it chose me. Most people simply can't understand same-sex and multiple-partner relations and would react with revulsion if they found out, so it stays hidden. This goes beyond public and private lives, everyone has those. These are two parallel lives and it can be a burden to carry.

Many men struggle because we don't have our own space. It makes for massive logistical hurdles to meet up and pushes connections into fringe areas like public restrooms, and other unfortunate places. And that public is constantly cracking down. It's a wide-spread, silent persecution. The threat of legal prosecution is very real. And safe spaces are very rare. That's one reason I like bathhouses. They are some of the few places I can completely relax and be me with nothing to hide. Similar to why I love nude beaches in France. Very liberating.

This is how I connect with other people. I like to talk. I like to touch, I like to suck. I enjoy a range of boundaries with different people depending on our shared interest. I like intellectual chat buddies, cuddle buddies, just don't feel like being alone buddies, and yes, fuck buddies. Men and women.

 

[Rodlicker11]

This is a great thread and it's good to read other men's experiences. Mine is similar to many others. Married, hetero, and didn't even know bi curiosity was a thing for me until marital walls started to go up, needs went unfulfilled. My curiosity with men started in my 30's, the result of lackluster hetero options. Curiosity led to experience, which in turn led to new curiosities and new experiences.

Now I have a lot of experience but still have many curiosities, which keeps things fresh and exciting. I'm fully hetero-romantic and very interested in the physical side with men - cock, balls, cum, etc.

Going down the hidden bi path in life is no small thing. I didn't choose it, it chose me. Most people simply can't understand same-sex and multiple-partner relations and would react with revulsion if they found out, so it stays hidden. This goes beyond public and private lives, everyone has those. These are two parallel lives and it can be a burden to carry.

Many men struggle because we don't have our own space. It makes for massive logistical hurdles to meet up and pushes connections into fringe areas like public restrooms, and other unfortunate places. And that public is constantly cracking down. It's a wide-spread, silent persecution. The threat of legal prosecution is very real. And safe spaces are very rare. That's one reason I like bathhouses. They are some of the few places I can completely relax and be me with nothing to hide. Similar to why I love nude beaches in France. Very liberating.

This is how I connect with other people. I like to talk. I like to touch, I like to suck. I enjoy a range of boundaries with different people depending on our shared interest. I like intellectual chat buddies, cuddle buddies, just don't feel like being alone buddies, and yes, fuck buddies. Men and women.

Wow, is that really well said. I (and probably many others on Lit) could have written that myself. You said everything that are also my thoughts and experiences. You articulated the path to becoming who I/we have become. It is somewhat comforting to read that there are others who have gone in the same direction and why.

 

[Wanking_Frank]

FWB would be so much better than trying to find a new person for blow n go's

Especially if that person was single and could host somewhat consistently, imagine just trading a couple of texts and being able to make it happen almost on demand

There are plenty of guys that want to hook up with guys but a small percentage are tops and an even smaller percentage can host, then to find one your age and body type, nearby...not so easy

 

[stevnmom]

Does anyone have a New Years resolution to go from curious to experienced... or experienced to more experienced?

I have hopes for myself for the new year coming up...

Going from curious to active is the hard part. Being bi in your head can only be confirmed once you take the plunge. The bigger issue is out or not out about it. Just decide to test the water or not. I think I waited too long and wish I’d acted sooner.

 

[1JazzyMnn]

This may have already been done before, but if I don't ask...

I'm interested in chatting with other guys who are curious and wanting to take the plunge, and those who already have had some experiences and especially how they finally took that step.

I'm curious myself but haven't done anything, a little nerves and a little waiting to to find a regular buddy (safe and discrete) for some JO and perhaps later some oral.

Share some thoughts?

 

[open_minded28]

FWB would be so much better than trying to find a new person for blow n go's

Especially if that person was single and could host somewhat consistently, imagine just trading a couple of texts and being able to make it happen almost on demand

There are plenty of guys that want to hook up with guys but a small percentage are tops and an even smaller percentage can host, then to find one your age and body type, nearby...not so easy

Amen to that!

In the early days I did take risks and met up with a number of different guys. It was a real thrill (nerve racking as hell though) to meet a new person - the anticipation and curiosity (how good will they make me feel? What is their cock like?) was a real turn on for me.
As I settled down and sort of satiated a lot of my curiosity, I began searching for one guy that I could be regular with - less risks, higher comfort level, more enjoyable to be with someone I knew and liked.
THAT has been incredibly difficult (nigh on impossible) to find!

I got incredibly lucky to stumble across one a number of years ago and all was great until I switched jobs and could no longer meet at his house.
Essentially been trying to find that again ever since.

These days I spend a ton of time trying to get a sense of someone before meeting, hoping to find that "right" guy. That is how I landed here on Literotica, hoping that the men here might be a better match for me -- more communicative and expressive.

I can host and identify as 'top' or 'versatile' (though as I've said previously I dislike labels because they don't even paint a fraction of the picture and likely you just got an idea of me in your head from those two words and I bet that idea isn't very close to the mark). Even with those two things going for me its still crazy difficult to find someone.
Example: I met up last month with a guy I had been chatting with a lot. He wrote well, was happy to exchange a lot of ideas, fantasies, etc, and in real life did have a good personality. Afterward he misunderstood a reply I wrote and got super negative and pissy (thinking I was rejecting him). Maybe my expectations are simply too high but I want to be with someone like myself - I don't love rejection but I at least try to understand the other person's perspective and I absolutely won't get mad about it. That is pretty darn narcissistic to think I would be a perfect match for everyone!

Sigh. Again I have rambled on. My point was to relate and say "me too!" and to add another side of it -- one where even when a few of the "big" things align it can still be frustratingly difficult to find the right person for me.

Couldn't agree more though - it truly is like the proverbial needle in a haystack!

Last thoughts:
1) As long as I'm not carrying on too many conversations at the same time I don't mind chatting about All Things Sexual with anyone - its a turn on to read (and write) about experiences, desires, etc. So feel free to reach out if you'd like.
2) I'm in west-central MA if anyone is near, available weekday late morning, and interested in striking up a conversation to see if we might be a match
3) I'm meeting someone next week so keep your fingers crossed for me! =) (in a neutral public space first to gauge interest before taking the plunge)

 

[write_or_wrong]

Since I am many states away from you we don't have much chance of an IRL friendship. So let me just encourage you to keep trying.

I used a few adult dating apps like Adult FriendFinder and SilverDaddies and settled on two guys who were married, looking for some variety without cheating with another woman, and were okay limiting our fun to oral and manual. They were able to get away from work at lunchtime so that's how we got together. I was able to host so it was easy. One or the other would come over around noon, we would both strip, start playing with each other, get into sucking and eventually come. BTW, they both shot big loads which suited me just fine. Afterward, a little small talk as we relaxed, then clothes back on, and they would go back to work with smiles on their faces. Me too, except I would return to bed, smell the aftermath, and relive the fun in my mind. By seeing each of them a couple of times each month, it meant I enjoyed M-M play every week. Since I was also dating a woman and we had sex a couple of times each week, I had no complaints about my sex life.

Keep at it, the reward will more than justify the search work.