Are trans girls perfect girlfriends?

[subbyclarajane]

This topic pops up from time to time for cis guys I know. Saying the best girlfriends they ever had were trans girls. And I recall it came down to AMAB socialization similarities - I could give a rats ass about video games, sports, or cars - but I understand the AMAB compulsion to prioritize such things and I wouldn’t vilify it, and that’s the point. There’s not a lack of social imperative for AMABs, but trans girls understand the specifics of that pressure and can be supportive.

Socialization similarities acknowledged, I might also note I’ve never met a guy (not one with whom sex was a topic of discussion) who DIDN’T want to fuck a girl in the ass. And like… it’s pretty much a sure thing with a trans girl.

This is one of those topics that I’ve seen people get into fights over, but the people here seem to be cut from a different cloth.

So, sexually enlightens folks of Lit: why (or why not) would a trans girl be an amazing girlfriend?

 

[subbyclarajane]

Sorry but for a non US dude, what means AMAB ?

I may surprise you, but I've never wanted to fuck a girl in the ass. Maybe I'm the exception to the rule.

Assigned Male at Birth.

 

[Escierto]

My girlfriend and I originally met for sex. She was not into relationships and basically dated to have sex. After we were together the first day, we both realized that we were in love. Not in love with genitals. In love with the person. She has her faults to be sure but there is something about her persona or spirit that is very compelling to me. I am always happy to see her face. I don't think that helps at all with your question. Sorry.

 

[subbyclarajane]

My girlfriend and I originally met for sex. She was not into relationships and basically dated to have sex. After we were together the first day, we both realized that we were in love. Not in love with genitals. In love with the person. She has her faults to be sure but there is something about her persona or spirit that is very compelling to me. I am always happy to see her face. I don't think that helps at all with your question. Sorry.

It does not. But your devotion to her is something I think we all dream of having.

 

[spicydemoncatgirl]

As a trans girl myself, I get the AMAB socialization thing. My girlfriend often sees videos labeled “Boys being boys” and then looks confused at me and I just go yeah, that’s what men do when they are alone.
I think what turns guys away is either the (stupid) fear of being seen as gay. (Big problem with Straight Men that are insecure) and to some degree the emotional labor that can come with dating trans people. From what I gathered talking with the trans people I know, it’s not uncommon for trans people to be very insecure in themselves which means the partner will often have to be reassuring them that they love them etc. also having to take care after surgeries is not necessarily easy. While I think these are all problems that you can work through many people especially when younger are not necessarily ready for it. It takes atleast a little maturity to see that it’s not a dealbreaker.

 

[Escierto]

Oh right, it makes sense, thank you.

Well, what is « best » is definitely personal and I don’t think you will get a definitive answer here but here’s my thoughts.

My wife don’t give a crap about video games, sports or cars. And it’s perfectly fine like that. I’m not expecting from a GF that she share the same hobbies. Or even understand them. I’m more expecting that’s she shares the same values. Especially for a long term relationship.

Now, my personal issue is probably the sexual attraction. I’ve met a few very, very feminine trans girls but still, there are physical details that just ruin it for me. And no, I’m not even talking about what they have (or don’t have) between their legs (but to be fair, I think a pussy looks so good it would probably be a dealbreaker anyway).

Not trying to be rude here. I’ve no issues with people who have other priorities in their couple. But in my case, I can’t say they are the best GF.

What physical details ruin it may I ask?

 

[Noor]

This topic pops up from time to time for cis guys I know. Saying the best girlfriends they ever had were trans girls. And I recall it came down to AMAB socialization similarities - I could give a rats ass about video games, sports, or cars - but I understand the AMAB compulsion to prioritize such things and I wouldn’t vilify it, and that’s the point. There’s not a lack of social imperative for AMABs, but trans girls understand the specifics of that pressure and can be supportive.

Socialization similarities acknowledged, I might also note I’ve never met a guy (not one with whom sex was a topic of discussion) who DIDN’T want to fuck a girl in the ass. And like… it’s pretty much a sure thing with a trans girl.

This is one of those topics that I’ve seen people get into fights over, but the people here seem to be cut from a different cloth.

So, sexually enlightens folks of Lit: why (or why not) would a trans girl be an amazing girlfriend?

Plenty of men are not interested in anal. Also what makes you think trans girls are interested in anal? They didn’t get reconstructive surgery for nothing.

 

[Escierto]

Plenty of men are not interested in anal. Also what makes you think trans girls are interested in anal? They didn’t get reconstructive surgery for nothing.

Only 4 to 13% of trans women get bottom surgery.

 

[Dirtydaydream94]

I'd definitely love to give it a try

 

[lovingpantyboy]

Not having any real life experience with a trans person, I can say that my attraction to trans women came from watching porn at a time in my life when I was just beginning to learn my own sexuality. Whatever it was just mesmerized me and I’ve fantasized about having an encounter ever since, as for weather they are the best girlfriends I guess would depend on how well we communicate and get to understand each other’s wants and needs. It’s a situation I wouldn’t shy away from and would embrace the opportunity to find out for myself who makes a better girlfriend

 

[subbyclarajane]

Well, what is « best » is definitely personal and I don’t think you will get a definitive answer here but here’s my thoughts.

Yeah, I’ll admit I baited readers with a controversial subject line, but the sentiment is the same. I feel similarly about pussy, and preferences are preferences. Nothing wrong with that, and it’s certainly why my transition isn’t over until my bottom surgery (I found an AMAZING surgeon that will make my pussy feel as real inside as it looks outside!!)

So I guess it takes the right combo, as it would for anyone, to make a trans relationship stick. And that’s not surprising, just wondered if there was some other value proposition at play.

 

[Britva415]

I may surprise you, but I've never wanted to fuck a girl in the ass. Maybe I'm the exception to the rule.

I do it if she wants it, but I've never asked her to.

A friend of mine used to say: "Why would I fuck an asshole when there's a pussy less than an inch away?"

 

[Escierto]

I'll do it if she wants it, but I've never asked her to.

A friend of mine used to say: "Why would I fuck an asshole when there's a pussy less than an inch away?"

Did you ever ask the friend if he ever tried it? He might have felt differently. Pussy is all right but fucking a woman's ass is supreme.

 

[Britva415]

Did you ever ask the friend if he ever tried it? He might have felt differently. Pussy is all right but fucking a woman's ass is supreme.

He did it 'cause some girl wanted to.

 

[Escierto]

He did it 'cause some girl wanted to.

So he did go to the dark side but returned!

 

[Britva415]

the dark side

Right where the sun don't shine!

 

[Badxxxwifey]

I’d loveee a trans gf

 

[eric_erosfan]

Before there were trans women weren't there just very effeminate gay men?

Do trans women really date straight men or just closeted gays?

I am genuinely curious. I feel I could have affection for anyone. But sexually a pussy beats an asshole every time.

 

[AlexBailey]

I’m very attracted to cute androgyny, to the point where some trans people would say I objectify them.

Whatever….

I’m gender non-confirming and have always felt that way. I find other trans and fluid people attractive in a particular way that I don’t feel for others simply because I can relate to them - their lack of mooring to social expectations and their self determination.

I often present cis. I’m no chaser but I’ve been accused of being one for reaching out socially to some trans folks. I was already in a sad emotional state at the time, it made me feel so disgusting and judged, so outside of the outliers that I was ready to be done with life. I don’t reach out first anymore no matter what.

 

[Escierto]

Before there were trans women weren't there just very effeminate gay men?

Do trans women really date straight men or just closeted gays?

I am genuinely curious. I feel I could have affection for anyone. But sexually a pussy beats an asshole every time.

Pretty obvious how you feel. It's fine if you just don't like trans women.

 

[Escierto]

I’m very attracted to cute androgyny, to the point where some trans people would say I objectify them.

Whatever….

I’m gender non-confirming and have always felt that way. I find other trans and fluid people attractive in a particular way that I don’t feel for others simply because I can relate to them - their lack of mooring to social expectations and their self determination.

I often present cis. I’m no chaser but I’ve been accused of being one for reaching out socially to some trans folks. I was already in a sad emotional state at the time, it made me feel so disgusting and judged, so outside of the outliers that I was ready to be done with life. I don’t reach out first anymore no matter what.

No one should have to apologize for who they are attracted to or not attracted to.

 

[Britva415]

You’ll need some serious arguments to prove that point.
I guess it’s something for people with a strong domination fetish.

What is there to prove? Do people ask you to prove how you feel? I can't think of a stronger argument than "this is my lived experience." Maybe yours is different, but invalidating someone else's is hyper cringey.

And "domination fetish" is completely unrelated to anal sex. You can dominate with or without anal, you can anal with or without domination.

 

[Escierto]

Some people really earn the Ignore button.

 

[Britva415]

it’s fair to ask for arguments and reasons behind such assertions

Go back and read what the assertion was. He was clearly asserting what he personally likes. He wasn't asserting that it's some kind of a universal truth that logic can prove or disprove. He for damn sure wasn't saying you like it.

 

[eric_erosfan]

Pretty obvious how you feel. It's fine if you just don't like trans women.

I definitely didn't say I don't like them. I know a couple of them. They are very well educated and fun to converse with. I am glad I can count them as friends. I was just saying as a straight cis man, I am not sexually attracted to them. I prefer a vagina. The OP asked if trans women were the perfect girlfriends. I guess not for me.