Kasumi_Lee
Really Really Experienced
- Joined
- May 2, 2013
- Posts
- 427
I was recently rereading one of my older stories that I published as an ebook (it's not on Literotica), and I came across the following exchange:
Has anyone else committed any fourth wall-breaking narrative errors like this?
This is so silly that I wonder how I never noticed it while editing and proofreading this story. Notice that Maya doesn't say anything about something hardening (either in the excerpted quote or the entire preceeding exchange), it's just her tone and attitude that hardens; but Olaf somehow read my mind as I was writing and responded to my description rather than to what Maya actually said.“I guess your conscience is clear,” Maya remarked, her tone and attitude hardening again.
“That’s not the only thing that’s hardening,” Olaf quipped, his voice turning to a growl.
Has anyone else committed any fourth wall-breaking narrative errors like this?