Would love some feedback please to help me improve

[The_inspector_and_the_fish]

Hi folks - I've submitted a couple of stories after a long, long time of not writing. I'm planning on submitting more and I'm really keen that people enjoy reading the stories as much as I enjoy writing them and so I'd love some feedback. The first one I submitted is Finishing School Episode 6. It's the continuation of a series from about a decade ago, and I appreciate the limitations that come with that. I'm not really looking at much plot development - just writing fast paced stories that fit in the world I've created. But maybe I need more character development? More plot? Less dirty talk? Any feedback gratefully received!

 

[ElectricBlue]

That was a fun rollicking read, most entertaining.

One or two anachronisms - more likely to "spend" than to "come", and most definitely, no "cum". Other than that, a spiffing good show!

 

[The_inspector_and_the_fish]

That was a fun rollicking read, most entertaining.

One or two anachronisms - more likely to "spend" than to "come", and most definitely, no "cum". Other than that, a spiffing good show!

Thank you! Good pick up on the anachronisms. Don't know why I didn't think of 'spend'!

 

[Vintage_DM]

A couple of suggestions. Find a few authors whose stories you like. The important thing is for you to understand why you like that story and why you don't like another story. It would be best to be very specific about your likes and dislikes. This need not be in the category you write in. Could you write about a place and time you know? That way, you're coming from a place where you are comfortable. Personally, I like plot development, but there is no universal rule other than be comfortable. Also, could you find a group of fellow writers that you like? Many of us have a circle of beta readers, not editors. Of course, what you must remember about Beta Readers is that everyone has an asshole, just like they have an opinion.

As the old saying goes --- Peace, Love, and Chicken Grease.

 

[NoviceAspen]

Enjoyable, I will need to go back and read some of your other installments. Some of the dialogue I found difficult to believe - for example the major using “capital” and “jolly good” in the same sentence as “dontcha know.” I think some character development would be nice too. For example I expected Fanny to be more reluctant.