Too much time in fantasy land

[Codoc24]

I am retired now and I have a lot of free time. So, I like to read and write fictional stories, erotic and non-erotic. When I'm not reading or writing, I'm thinking about my story arcs and the best way to write them. I've started wondering, though, how healthy, mentally, it is to spend so much time in fantasy land. Does anybody else have this concern? I do try to exercise (yoga, weight lifting, exercise bike), but probably not enough.

 

[Djmac1031]

Without knowing much else about you, I'll just say as long as it's not negatively affecting your real world relationships with other people, you're fine. Relax and enjoy it.

 

[AwkwardlySet]

I don't see anything wrong in indulging your imagination if it is not affecting your real-life relationships and dynamics in some negative way. It is definitely better than not having anything interesting to do with your free time. There aren't many things that can be as harmful as chronic boredom...

 

[Djmac1031]

There aren't many things that can be as harmful as chronic boredom...

Agreed.

Also, the reality of life is that, especially as we get older, we find ourselves with less time and opportunity to indulge in our sexual needs.

Perhaps there have been life changing scenarios with our partners. Or perhaps there is no longer a partner available.

We all have needs. Fantasy can be a fun, safe and practical way to meet them.

Again, as long as one doesn't use Fantasy to the detriment of their real life... actively avoiding or rejecting opportunities to interact in healthy and normal ways with others...then there's absolutely no harm in it and can actually be a quite positive thing.

 

[Altissimus]

Compared to what... binge-watching series on Netflix? Drinking yourself into oblivion multiple times a week? I dunno, it seems okay to me.

 

[AwkwardlySet]

Agreed.

Also, the reality of life is that, especially as we get older, we find ourselves with less time and opportunity to indulge in our sexual needs.

Perhaps there have been life changing scenarios with our partners. Or perhaps there is no longer a partner available.

We all have needs. Fantasy can be a fun, safe and practical way to meet them.

Again, as long as one doesn't use Fantasy to the detriment of their real life... actively avoiding or rejecting opportunities to interact in healthy and normal ways with others...then there's absolutely no harm in it and can actually be a quite positive thing.

Well said. It can also be a sort of escaping mechanism from all the bullshit of real life, again, only if it is done in a reasonable and not in some truly dissociative way.

 

[Djmac1031]

Compared to what... binge-watching series on Netflix? Drinking yourself into oblivion multiple times a week? I dunno, it seems okay to me.

Exactly.

It's the same as anything else; watching sports, playing video games, going out to parties, or clubs, or dance halls.

Nothing harmful about any of those unless it becomes an addiction that interferes with one's ability to live a normal and healthy life.

There is such a thing as porn addiction, of course. People who become unable to distinguish their fantasy from reality to the point it affects their relationships, or their ability to have / maintain a relationship, because their expectations are warped by their fantasies.

That of course is not healthy.

 

[AchtungNight]

Advice from one of my favorite sex and death experts, the philosopher Kratos-

“Keep your expectations low. You will never be disappointed.”

 

[Bamagan]

I am retired now and I have a lot of free time. So, I like to read and write fictional stories, erotic and non-erotic. When I'm not reading or writing, I'm thinking about my story arcs and the best way to write them. I've started wondering, though, how healthy, mentally, it is to spend so much time in fantasy land. Does anybody else have this concern? I do try to exercise (yoga, weight lifting, exercise bike), but probably not enough.

Personally, I find attempting to engage with the real world to be far more unhealthy. Nasty, horrid place. Full of lies and balderdash, and I am happy to say I have no grasp of it whatsoever.

 

[Devinter]

I am retired now and I have a lot of free time. So, I like to read and write fictional stories, erotic and non-erotic. When I'm not reading or writing, I'm thinking about my story arcs and the best way to write them. I've started wondering, though, how healthy, mentally, it is to spend so much time in fantasy land. Does anybody else have this concern? I do try to exercise (yoga, weight lifting, exercise bike), but probably not enough.

For me, who isn't retired, it is often a problem. I get multiple new story ideas every day - which I write down in little books - and sometimes I am 'working' on a story in my head during inopportune times, and have even written a few things down in the middle of a business meeting and whatnot. But I wouldn't say that it makes me aloof and distant in conversations normally, which is where I could see it becoming a very serious problem. I am simply good at multitasking, and make an excellent listener, even if somewhere in the back of my head I'm also thinking of other matters. The problem is strictly that it could make me APPEAR as if I'm not paying attention, especially if I suddenly bring out my phone or a notebook, which is a social faux pas.

But really, the primary issue this causes for me is that as soon as I get any free time at all, I spend it ALL on writing, and that can be a problem. Life is often best experienced when you balance things out properly. I cannot count the amount of times I have skipped meals, for instance, because I was in the 'flow' of a story. Happens at least once a week.

 

[Rob_Royale]

I will admit, that now as an erotica writer, I spend WAY more time with my mind in the gutter than ever before. But it has yet to impact my life negatively. I don't take time away from my wife to write so there's been no complaints there either.

All in all, I think I've found a good life-smut balance and now I have something to think about during my commutes, or boring moments at work, or when my wife is watching the British Bake Off.

 

[BobbyLaker]

...a good life-smut balance...

I like that

 

[Codoc24]

Thanks to everyone who offered their input! I appreciate it....now, back to my regularly scheduled fantasy.

 

[StillStunned]

My fantasy is that I have more time to fantasise. Or write. (Stupid work, getting in the way all the time.)