the marks of a slave

[BlitzKrieger]

Y'all are just blowing my sweet little theory to bits here.

*sad panda face*

I think if we modify the theory a bit we will have the right of it.

*Women* love socks.

Men look at socks and go, "Oh good, something to keep my feet dry and prevent blisters." Women look at socks and say something more akin to, "Oh warm fuzzy, cumfy, slinky socks! Oh, how I love the way your embrace my delicate feet and give me that warm glow in my tummy!"

Case in point: The Snuggy was not invented for men. We have jackets, parkas, flannel underwear, long johns, woolen socks, and indoor heating to keep us warm while inside the house. We don't need a blanket with arms. Thank you very much.

That's my two copper.

 

[ataxia.girl]

So . . . now . . . My husband wants to experience my orgasms. But my orgasms have never been part of our sex. Don't get me wrong, I love having sex with him. We have a lot of fun together. It just hasn't been about making me cum.

my husband used to have a real hang up about wanting to make me cum but only if he was integral to getting it done. Like you i am only able to make myself cum by masturbating (except i also need a vibrator now). Although i have used my hitatchi with him a few times after he has finished i can tell he just isn't that interested and so i rarely get it out now. Its probably been a year since i masturbated in front of him. i dunno. He always kissed me and said that was cool but he's never made any indication he wants to see it again. There are other reasons i just don't think he really cares about it that i feel like would probably be TMI.

i admit it hurts my feelings. i've let it go and rarely think about it but when i do think about it it bothers me.

 

[ataxia.girl]

ooh so you have envisioned me a pampered sex slave? how naughty and extravagant...but not my life at all, lol.

yes, i cook everyday, two meals a day on weekdays and three on weekends, unless he takes us out to eat. an average day for me is waking up early with him, preparing his breakfast, packing his lunch, going back to sleep for a couple of hours if i can, then getting up and tending to all the housework. dusting, vacuuming, laundry, floor mopping, toilet cleaning, shower scrubbing, organizing, litter box freshening, etc. because he whores me out on a regular basis also, i usually have to talk to a couple of clients a day. i cultivate really personal relationships with most of them as it is important to Daddy that my service to them is as therapeutic as possible. when Daddy's son comes home from school i prepare a light snack, then the same for Daddy when he gets home. i also remove his shoes, massage his feet, snuggle, etc. we always have a couple of hours of quality time where we do pretty much nothing except enjoy being in each other's presence. then it's preparing and serving dinner, clean-up, then possibly being taken to the gym.

so i guess i am your basic old-fashioned house slave, lol.

my day tends to go like this.

i wake up and do the first round of waking the kids up, turn on the lights, put on some music. i might pop in the office to check fet and lit for a few minutes then its off for wake up round two, more firmly. Then its to the kitchen to unload the dishwasher, pack lunch for 2 of the kids and hubby, and make breakfast. Somewhere in there is wake up round 3. The rest of the morning is spent making sure everyone gets dressed, eats, has their home work, their lunches, their teeth brushed, shoes on and packs ready for Dad to take them to school. When the sitter arrives i go off to work from my home office. After work i send the sitter home and make dinner. The evening is spent tidying up, doing laundry, preparing bedtime snacks and getting the kids off to bed. Once they are in bed i have an hour or two to myself.

Weekends i do the shopping for our family of 6 and plan the next week's dinners. i have a gap with the housework at the moment so until i figure out how i'm going to handle it i'm doing that as well.

 

[Ravenwind]

I got distracted by the socks, and missed this earlier point.

You know, I wasn't expecting everyone to respond so positively to the whole socks bit. I suppose I still am a bit childlike in the expectation of "gift giving time should be time for something over-the-top". I kind'a got swept up by everyone's responses too. lol

You're suggesting that . . . to be ungrateful for the gifts I receive from my husband should make me, in your opinion, feel and/or be unworthy to receive further gifts.

I suppose I worded it a little funny. On a broader scope, more akin to "one never realizes what they had, until it's gone" and "count your blessings" sort of sentiments. At any given moment, in life, a situation can change where what we take for granted ceases to happen... be it willfully or accidentally. A gift, in this sense, needn't be a "package with a bow", but rather, anything provided to us... be it the utilities, the roof over our head, the hug before work, sex, or even the package with the bow.

We never know what life can throw at us. Milk never tastes so delicious until after you realize you're lactose intolerant. Be thankful for it during the times when it only gives you a little gas or there's no problems, because there will be the times where it can become crippling pain. You never know, one day it might become full-blown, and you're never able to drink it again... appreciate what you have while you still can... even if you have to suffer a few stomach gurgles at the moment.

In other words, cultivate gratitude for the simple pleasures and they will multiply.

Very true.

But then there are these moments when the "gift" he's giving me is painful. (not the fun kind . . . the kind that seems frightening and unbearable)

I'm enough of a masochist to stay in this relationship. I'm enough of a masochist to recognize . . . later . . . that the pain had some beneficial outcomes, and was rarely as bad as I thought it would be.

I am not enough of a masochist to be grateful in the moment. At least, not yet.

Interestingly, he doesn't feel my lack of gratitude makes me unworthy to receive further gifts.

I know how you feel... my Husband is much the same way with me (acne in sensitive places sucks). It's the hardest thing in the world to see how good the outcome will be, when you're in misery at that moment. But it helps to look back to similar ordeals, remember how much better off you were last time it happened, and realize how much better off you will be when you are done this time.

Even so, people change... remember to be thankful for what you have now, for one day he might become bored with what currently is, and decides to change what his idea of a "gift" is... granny panties that don't fit, instead of comfy socks.

 

[eastern sun]

The concept behind any scripture is "how to best serve the one(s) in charge, and how the one(s) serving can have their own interests best served at the same time"... ie... how to respect one another.

I have never heard this stated so explicitly, though I always assumed it to be true.

 

[eastern sun]

It has been only in the last month that I fully realized and acknowledged that my fear of failure was a sneaky way used by my controlling mind to exercise power.

You see, if I'm the one giving up or deciding that I have failed, I'm in control, even if only of my failure. If I decide what is failure and what is success, I retain power by controlling the outcome.

I was really surprised when I finally figured out that my evaluations of my own success and failure had nothing to do with his evaluations of my success and failure.

I frequently decided I was a failure only to discover he was totally happy with the outcome.

And I still comfort myself with the thought that I am succeeding while he finds my efforts completely unsatisfying.

The realization that I was doing this forced me to reframe the way I look at my behavior. I still deem myself a success when I accomplish something I set out to do. But I am less likely to excuse my failures when they stem from circumstances I can change.

Isn't it funny how the act of consciously giving up power can actually show you where your real power lies?

 

[eastern sun]

regarding female orgasms -

check this out
http://www.newscientist.com/article/dn7548-orgasms-a-real-turnoff-for-women.html

 

[eastern sun]

ooh so you have envisioned me a pampered sex slave? how naughty and extravagant...but not my life at all, lol.

Honestly, "pampered" didn't come to mind.

 

[ownedsubgal]

Honestly, "pampered" didn't come to mind.

hehe, yes i know better than that.

 

[BiBunny]

He and I were watching TV together last week, waiting for her to get home from work. (She works evenings.) He gives me a hard time because I have a lot of trouble initiating affection with anyone, the two of them included. He told me I should greet her with a hug and kiss and tell her how much I'd missed her and how happy I was to see her again.

I turned probably twelve different shades of red and told him I didn't think I could do it.

"Sure you can. It's just outside your comfort zone," he said.

"Way outside," I agreed.

"Yeah, God forbid you show any emotion besides cast-iron bitch in front of anyone."

I was hurt for a moment, at least until I looked up and saw him smiling. I smiled back and turned back to watch TV. All I could think was I love you because you know me and want me, anyway.

The point was moot, anyway. When she arrived home, I had two 20-pound cats sitting on my chest and stomach, and they WERE. NOT. MOVING.

 

[eastern sun]

He and I were watching TV together last week, waiting for her to get home from work. (She works evenings.) He gives me a hard time because I have a lot of trouble initiating affection with anyone, the two of them included. He told me I should greet her with a hug and kiss and tell her how much I'd missed her and how happy I was to see her again.

I turned probably twelve different shades of red and told him I didn't think I could do it.

"Sure you can. It's just outside your comfort zone," he said.

"Way outside," I agreed.

"Yeah, God forbid you show any emotion besides cast-iron bitch in front of anyone."

I was hurt for a moment, at least until I looked up and saw him smiling. I smiled back and turned back to watch TV. All I could think was I love you because you know me and want me, anyway.

The point was moot, anyway. When she arrived home, I had two 20-pound cats sitting on my chest and stomach, and they WERE. NOT. MOVING.

Will you start working towards it now that he's asked you to? Or is that moment gone?

 

[BiBunny]

Will you start working towards it now that he's asked you to? Or is that moment gone?

Yes. I've been trying, actually. It just doesn't seem to get any easier.

 

[eastern sun]

Yes. I've been trying, actually. It just doesn't seem to get any easier.

Walking headfirst into those obstacles, which feel like real and tangible walls to me, is a remarkable experience. It's one place where thinking yourself through it doesn't help at all.

 

[ataxia.girl]

He and I were watching TV together last week, waiting for her to get home from work. (She works evenings.) He gives me a hard time because I have a lot of trouble initiating affection with anyone, the two of them included. He told me I should greet her with a hug and kiss and tell her how much I'd missed her and how happy I was to see her again.

i have an awful time initiating affection. Daddy often tells me to hug him or kiss him. Its a little bit strange but i like it. Its hard to explain exactly why its strange but it just doesn't flow or come out like what you picture. Its more like he's trying to teach me to do it. Sometimes he'll even say "put your arms around my neck."

i'm slowly starting to initiate affection toward him. i don't really even think about it but your comment made me look back over our relationship and i can see that i am changing. i'm more apt to run up to him and hug him when he arrives where i used to just maybe stand up and wait for something to happen.

 

[Bandit58]

LOL....our place is a hug and kiss fest
Nearly 6 years together and it hasn't changed....if anything it's really increased

My ex was NOT one for affectionate gestures. He only kissed me when he wanted sex So now I am making up for lost time. When Sir holds me I feel safe. He insists I kiss Him when I leave the room when He's on the machine, when I walk past His chair I often stop and give Him a kiss....in public we hold hands and there's the occasional peck on the lips too.

We find it helps reinforce our relationship, letting each of us know the other loves and cares about them.

 

[eastern sun]

LOL....our place is a hug and kiss fest
Nearly 6 years together and it hasn't changed....if anything it's really increased

My ex was NOT one for affectionate gestures. He only kissed me when he wanted sex So now I am making up for lost time. When Sir holds me I feel safe. He insists I kiss Him when I leave the room when He's on the machine, when I walk past His chair I often stop and give Him a kiss....in public we hold hands and there's the occasional peck on the lips too.

We find it helps reinforce our relationship, letting each of us know the other loves and cares about them.

We hold hands, too, while we're walking down the street. But we're also likely to let go and charlie horse each other in the arm when the situation warrants it.

I'm always glad we can still play with each other after all these years.

 

[eastern sun]

I spent a day with Thich Nhat Hanh this weekend, listening to him speak and practicing mindful eating, mindful walking and deep relaxation in the company of about 2000 people. It was amazing to watch the group and the individuals in it transform over a period of hours. Slowing down. Smiling. Opening up to each other.

In the midst of the crowd, I felt like he was talking to me when he said "sex is not love." And then repeated it. "Sex is not love."

But, by the end of the day, as we were guided through a final relaxation meditation that focussed on our bodies, I could not believe how sexually aroused I was.

Sex may not be love.

But I have associated devotional love with sex for so long now, the energy generated in this event pooled in my lower body and all I wanted to do was masturbate. I squirmed in my seat, and kegeled all the way home . . . totally convinced that I need to learn how to harness this sexual energy and channel it into new areas.

Does anyone know how to do that?

 

[rida]

I spent a day with Thich Nhat Hanh this weekend, listening to him speak and practicing mindful eating, mindful walking and deep relaxation in the company of about 2000 people. It was amazing to watch the group and the individuals in it transform over a period of hours. Slowing down. Smiling. Opening up to each other.

In the midst of the crowd, I felt like he was talking to me when he said "sex is not love." And then repeated it. "Sex is not love."

But, by the end of the day, as we were guided through a final relaxation meditation that focussed on our bodies, I could not believe how sexually aroused I was.

Sex may not be love.

But I have associated devotional love with sex for so long now, the energy generated in this event pooled in my lower body and all I wanted to do was masturbate. I squirmed in my seat, and kegeled all the way home . . . totally convinced that I need to learn how to harness this sexual energy and channel it into new areas.

Does anyone know how to do that?

Yes, "Sex is not Love". But "Love can be Sex."

In my college days I used to do Aikido. My Sensei was also involved in many other considered "new age" kind of things, and as such I met many interesting people and activities. Among those, the one that appealed me the most and that I started, going to weekly meets and week-end seminars, was called "Biodanza" literally translate as "life-dance". I think it was started in south-America.

I remember how liberating and energizing was to let the music take over and just run through your body. For many participants, you could see how such energy would channel in a very sensual, almost erotic way and the atmosphere would at time be highly charged. For them, such energy would manifest as sexual; to me, it would most of all feel like a warm embrace, like "love".

I used to think I could not have sex without love, or at least some emotions attached to it. And yet I'm finding myself at this time of my life having a lot of loveless sex and I'm able to enjoy it for what it is, sport-sex.

I also used to believe, and I still do, that sex was a way to get close to someone, to touch their inner souls. And yet, as protection, I've learned to close off my inner self during loveless sex (don't want the submissive to get out during sex with a 'nilla guy that might freak out - it happened -).

Sorry I went on a tangent

How to harness such energy? No idea, but from your writing it seems you already do that

 

[sb2009]

We hold hands, too, while we're walking down the street. But we're also likely to let go and charlie horse each other in the arm when the situation warrants it.

I'm always glad we can still play with each other after all these years.

I'm glad we aren't the only couple who do this! My husband recently had surgury and I kept telling him to get better faster, I needed to punch his arm during our favorite tv shows and yell "SEE, I KNEW IT!"

 

[eastern sun]

I'm glad we aren't the only couple who do this! My husband recently had surgury and I kept telling him to get better faster, I needed to punch his arm during our favorite tv shows and yell "SEE, I KNEW IT!"

I have to be careful. You should see the look on his face, when I actually connect.

"Oh, you're in trouble, now. You don't know how much trouble you're in."

I usually keep my distance after that.

 

[eastern sun]

Yes, "Sex is not Love". But "Love can be Sex."

In my college days I used to do Aikido. My Sensei was also involved in many other considered "new age" kind of things, and as such I met many interesting people and activities. Among those, the one that appealed me the most and that I started, going to weekly meets and week-end seminars, was called "Biodanza" literally translate as "life-dance". I think it was started in south-America.

I remember how liberating and energizing was to let the music take over and just run through your body. For many participants, you could see how such energy would channel in a very sensual, almost erotic way and the atmosphere would at time be highly charged. For them, such energy would manifest as sexual; to me, it would most of all feel like a warm embrace, like "love".

I would have liked Biodanza.

(by the way, your new blog is really fun to read . . . )

 

[eastern sun]

I practice sitting meditation two or three times a week with a small group of friends. And the first thing that happens this week is that same sexual energy starts gathering as soon as I sit down.

It's really hard to sit still for 30 minutes when I'm feeling like that.

So I start playing with it. Kegeling. Drawing my muscles up and in. And I discover I can move the energy up and down my spine. Suddenly I'm struck with an image of my spinal column as a huge phallus that is now being lubricated by the slick sexual electricity that's rising to my crown. And it feels good. And my body is completely filled with this energetic heat. And my cheeks tingle and flush. And I smile. And keep breathing.

I mention this experience to my friends when the session is over. And I'm told, "yes, this happens. Just sit through it."

But for the next two days all I can notice is that my shit really does stink.

And I realize how much I want to hang onto those sexual feelings. I don't want them to come and go. I want them to stay.

When I first became a slave, I spent about three years nursing my sexual arousal on daily doses of devotional rituals. After an initial period of unbridled excitement, I had to be very careful because all kinds of pretty inappropriate interactions started taking place in everyday situations. It was amazing to witness.

And my husband started restricting my behavior to avoid social repercussions.

And I agreed with him.

But, today, I miss it. My body and mind did get conditioned by those devotional practices. And now, I want some way to experience the power of that energy (it had tremendous creative potential) without re-igniting the follies of that period.

It's probably going to have something to do with that studio of mine. But I have only ever created wildly perverse art out of that sexual energy, and I can't imagine presenting it publicly in my little community.

 

[eastern sun]

I've also put on some weight. Too much time on the computer, I think.

"That's what happens when your vanity gets attached to your words," he said. "Instead of the shape of your body."

 

[eastern sun]

My husband's response to comments on this and the "selling slaves" thread was to ask . . .

"are there ever discussions of how life's obligations and responsibilities hamper the full and free expression of anyone's sexuality?"

 

[ecstaticsub]

My husband's response to comments on this and the "selling slaves" thread was to ask . . .

"are there ever discussions of how life's obligations and responsibilities hamper the full and free expression of anyone's sexuality?"

I don't think I have seen one but I think it is a great idea for a thread. I fight with that conflict every day.

Speaking of which since I spent all morning talking to Daddy I am late getting myself ready for work..time to get going.