The Grindr Experiment

[Escierto]

I spent some time on Grindr as an experiment because I have always been curious about it. Some transgender friends of my girlfriend are on it and I wondered how it worked for transgender women and their admirers. (No, my girlfriend was not on Grindr - she said she has never used it preferring Tinder when she was looking.)

My observations about Grindr:

1. It’s about sex and hookups. I am not knocking hookups - my girlfriend and I originally got together for sex and then found love. Nevertheless on Grindr it’s sex 24x7. It gets a little depressing reading profile captions like “Want cock now” or “Fuck my ass” but each to his own.

2. Dick pics. Why do guys think that the ideal conversation opener is a dick pic? Really? That’s all you got? I don’t even know your name but there it is - your boner. Gee thanks! I have never seen one before!

3. Transphobia. Even the gay guys are fucking transphobic. They can’t seem to understand that a person can have a cock and still be a woman. This surprised me - I expected more open mindedness.

4. No one reads your profile. In my caption I said, no men trans only. So what do I get? Hordes of gay men who either can’t read or hope it’s a mistake or that I can be persuaded by that lovely dick pic.

5. Why does everyone think I am a top? I said in my profile that I am a bottom but 90% of the people messaging me were bottoms looking for tops. Do I look like a top? Is it just wishful thinking?

6. It was fun for a couple of weeks but I don’t miss it. Seen enough cocks.

 

[Eighty6ed]

Nailed it

I’ve been on and off Grindr, off for quite a while now and I don’t miss it either. You’re absolutely right, no one reads the bio. You could literally just right “blah, blah blah” and it wouldn’t matter. Most just want dick pics and when you tell them no they get vile. I originally went there for trans women and was met by the same hostility. Very few trans on there actually and the couple I did talk to were equally unfriendly and judgmental.

Your breakdown was spot on. I stay away from Grindr and warn others about its toxicity as well. I just wish there was a decent place you can meet and chat with trans women but I have yet to find it, I absolutely adore them. Twitter is a good place to explore for a while but most just want you to pay for their Onlyfans.

 

[Escierto]

I’ve been on and off Grindr, off for quite a while now and I don’t miss it either. You’re absolutely right, no one reads the bio. You could literally just right “blah, blah blah” and it wouldn’t matter. Most just want dick pics and when you tell them no they get vile. I originally went there for trans women and was met by the same hostility. Very few trans on there actually and the couple I did talk to were equally unfriendly and judgmental.

Your breakdown was spot on. I stay away from Grindr and warn others about its toxicity as well. I just wish there was a decent place you can meet and chat with trans women but I have yet to find it, I absolutely adore them. Twitter is a good place to explore for a while but most just want you to pay for their Onlyfans.

The strange thing is a lot of transgender women would like to meet men who are genuinely interested in them. My girlfriend has many transgender friends and they are all single and looking. Sadly I think most transgender women never find love.

 

[AlphaLyon]

1. It’s about sex and hookups. I am not knocking hookups - my girlfriend and I originally got together for sex and then found love. Nevertheless on Grindr it’s sex 24x7. It gets a little depressing reading profile captions like “Want cock now” or “Fuck my ass” but each to his own.

It's Grindr. What did you expect? It's like going to a steakhouse and expecting vegan options.

2. Dick pics. Why do guys think that the ideal conversation opener is a dick pic? Really? That’s all you got? I don’t even know your name but there it is - your boner. Gee thanks! I have never seen one before!

I specifically say in my profile, "don't send dick pics"; still get dick pics, most of which aren't even impressive. I totally agree with you that some people don't have a good opener, so they just put their dicks out there.

3. Transphobia. Even the gay guys are fucking transphobic. They can’t seem to understand that a person can have a cock and still be a woman. This surprised me - I expected more open mindedness.

I'm curious what you saw/experienced. If its anti-trans rhetoric, that's one thing, but a preference is a preference. I have a preference for trans men versus trans women, but again, that's just a preference and not a phobia. Are you saying that I'm x-phobic, sexist, whatever because I have a certain type that turns me on?

4. No one reads your profile. In my caption I said, no men trans only. So what do I get? Hordes of gay men who either can’t read or hope it’s a mistake or that I can be persuaded by that lovely dick pic.

See point 2. Totally agree with you.

5. Why does everyone think I am a top? I said in my profile that I am a bottom but 90% of the people messaging me were bottoms looking for tops. Do I look like a top? Is it just wishful thinking?

I get the opposite. My profile even states that I am a total top (I don't bottom, I don't suck dick, etc.) and yet I still get guys asking me if I'd make an exception for them. Learn to reach, motherfuckers!

In summary: thank god it's free, because I have yet to see any reason to pay for it.

 

[Escierto]

It's Grindr. What did you expect? It's like going to a steakhouse and expecting vegan options.


I specifically say in my profile, "don't send dick pics"; still get dick pics, most of which aren't even impressive. I totally agree with you that some people don't have a good opener, so they just put their dicks out there.


I'm curious what you saw/experienced. If its anti-trans rhetoric, that's one thing, but a preference is a preference. I have a preference for trans men versus trans women, but again, that's just a preference and not a phobia. Are you saying that I'm x-phobic, sexist, whatever because I have a certain type that turns me on?


See point 2. Totally agree with you.


I get the opposite. My profile even states that I am a total top (I don't bottom, I don't suck dick, etc.) and yet I still get guys asking me if I'd make an exception for them. Learn to reach, motherfuckers!

In summary: thank god it's free, because I have yet to see any reason to pay for it.

Yes, it’s Grindr and I knew what to expect but it was the coarseness of it that appalled me. I just wish they would have a little class or imagination. It is what it is I guess.

Everyone has a preference, I get that and I have no problem with it. My problem is with people who don’t like MY preference and want to fight with me about it. So yes, I did get a lot of anti-trans rhetoric from guys insisting that transgender women are not women.

 

[AlphaLyon]

My problem is with people who don’t like MY preference and want to fight with me about it. So yes, I did get a lot of anti-trans rhetoric from guys insisting that transgender women are not women.

Totally see where you're coming from.
If you have a preference, no one has a right to tell you you're wrong (so long as it's between consenting adults).
And yes, trans-women are women; trans-men are men.

 

[Escierto]

The other strange thing about Grindr is nearly all the people contacting me are gay guys while only a few transgender women contacted me. Even among the people viewing me it’s 99.9% gay guys. Yet I explicitly say that I am looking for transgender women only. I want to do a similar experiment on Tinder.

 

[TallOne]

So basically you're experiencing what women experience everywhere they go online and finding that many men are just dicks.

 

[Escierto]

So basically you're experiencing what women experience everywhere they go online and finding that many men are just dicks.

That made me laugh. Yeah, you’re right.

 

[AppleCucumber]

2. I'll never turn down a cock pic, what's not to like? Cocks are hot