the dating game-bdsm style

[Marquis]

I like questions 1-6 and would add:

7. What do your parents do? Do you have any brothers or sisters? What's your relationship with them like?

No one's family is perfect, but I find the way a person will introduce them says a lot about their own identity and self esteem. An immaculately clean image (especially after knowing the person a little while) can be a bad sign, but a fiercely disparaging one (especially right at first) is much worse.


8. What are your thoughts on spirituality? Are you religious?

This is something people don't often talk about right up front, but if you have major differences in this area it can be a very big deal later on. Personally, I avoid people who are ardently religious and people who give no thought or have no confidence in their thoughts about spirituality, ethics, etc.


9. Are you just getting over any major life changes or expecting any in the near future?

Death of a family member, divorce, a move, illness, etc. Can help put things into perspective. It's possible that the person you're meeting is not them in their normative state.

10. Are you looking to get married or have children? When?

Does this jive with your plans?

 

[unfoundiamond]

Can I tell you...

Everytime I read this thread title, it reminds me of that Insane clown posse song, "BoogeyMan" (with the parody of the dating game...)

Hahaha... sorry... I am a little offtopic,

(I will get)Back on topic...

I avoid asking a a potential partner what he does for a living, partly because that's what girls I know do to see if a guy has money... if he doesn't answer well, she moves on... I don't want to be one of those girls, there are other ways to find out, people who love their job will gush and tell you, or Ill ask what someone went to school for... (I am quirky I know....)

I will ask if s/he's married, (because adultery is a turn off, and moral nono to me)

I will ask what his/her hobbies are, to see if we share common interests, but other than that...

I will be honest about my cituation and wait to analize what they OFFER...

I think saving questions and waiting to hear what they offer works well, because- I can see what is volunteered, then ask more detailed questions later... all while cross reffrencing the new and old information...

I look for consistancy... Most people who lie to cover their faults will not keep their lies straight, or think if their newly volunteered info conflicts with prior statements... In my expirience people who are hiding something or one track minded don't just go on and on, they will keep avioding the subject and "passing" questions back to you, or they will give you a weak answer... both tend to be noticable...

I think as people we have all the time in the world to find out our parters favorite (blank) and in the begining its best to try to weed out the Liars and Abusers (interchangeable titles IMO)

I always wonder if contestant #1 isn't telling you WHY he is single... For example, like those car commercials where they start out saying "front end damage" and "water damage" and delete that because the truth is ugly, and edit the desription of the damaged car to read "fresh Paint" and "New carpet"... making the new buyer (you) unaware of the riskyness of this seemingly good deal...

Anyone can lie to your questions... but letting them talk first gives them less time to think up a good lie...

 

[the captians wench]

I like questions 1-6 and would add:

7. What do your parents do? Do you have any brothers or sisters? What's your relationship with them like?

No one's family is perfect, but I find the way a person will introduce them says a lot about their own identity and self esteem. An immaculately clean image (especially after knowing the person a little while) can be a bad sign, but a fiercely disparaging one (especially right at first) is much worse.


8. What are your thoughts on spirituality? Are you religious?

This is something people don't often talk about right up front, but if you have major differences in this area it can be a very big deal later on. Personally, I avoid people who are ardently religious and people who give no thought or have no confidence in their thoughts about spirituality, ethics, etc.


9. Are you just getting over any major life changes or expecting any in the near future?

Death of a family member, divorce, a move, illness, etc. Can help put things into perspective. It's possible that the person you're meeting is not them in their normative state.

10. Are you looking to get married or have children? When?

Does this jive with your plans?

I like what you added about the family members. Honestly, I believe that I don't ask enough questions some times, and while I did ask about brothers and sisters, I didn't ask anything about the parents and didn't even touch on relationships with them. I am a very family oriented person, so those answers would probably speak a lot to me.

Religion is another one of those questions that I tend to avoid until later, it is a bad habbit I admit.

I like the major life change question as well. I didn't think about that, but major life events do tend to change a person's focas and bring up periods of self exploration.

I think I'll avoid the relationship questions until I can answer it myself. I don't know enough about what I want in the future to expect some one to answer those questions.

 

[the captians wench]

Everytime I read this thread title, it reminds me of that Insane clown posse song, "BoogeyMan" (with the parody of the dating game...)

Hahaha... sorry... I am a little offtopic,

(I will get)Back on topic...

I avoid asking a a potential partner what he does for a living, partly because that's what girls I know do to see if a guy has money... if he doesn't answer well, she moves on... I don't want to be one of those girls, there are other ways to find out, people who love their job will gush and tell you, or Ill ask what someone went to school for... (I am quirky I know....)

I will ask if s/he's married, (because adultery is a turn off, and moral nono to me)

I will ask what his/her hobbies are, to see if we share common interests, but other than that...

I will be honest about my cituation and wait to analize what they OFFER...

I think saving questions and waiting to hear what they offer works well, because- I can see what is volunteered, then ask more detailed questions later... all while cross reffrencing the new and old information...

I look for consistancy... Most people who lie to cover their faults will not keep their lies straight, or think if their newly volunteered info conflicts with prior statements... In my expirience people who are hiding something or one track minded don't just go on and on, they will keep avioding the subject and "passing" questions back to you, or they will give you a weak answer... both tend to be noticable...

I think as people we have all the time in the world to find out our parters favorite (blank) and in the begining its best to try to weed out the Liars and Abusers (interchangeable titles IMO)

I always wonder if contestant #1 isn't telling you WHY he is single... For example, like those car commercials where they start out saying "front end damage" and "water damage" and delete that because the truth is ugly, and edit the desription of the damaged car to read "fresh Paint" and "New carpet"... making the new buyer (you) unaware of the riskyness of this seemingly good deal...

Anyone can lie to your questions... but letting them talk first gives them less time to think up a good lie...

I honestly believe that I don't ask questions that I should know sometimes tho. Hince the thread. And I know there are a lot of inexperienced people asking themselves, "what do I need to know so that I'm sure I'm safe?"

Honestly tho, I do tell a lot more about a person when I actually meet them than when I talk to them via im, email, or phone. I'm a people watcher, I notice little things like how many times he looks at his watch, or fiddles with something in his pockets, or how he taps a pencil or stums his fingers.

I also listen to what people are not saying as well. There are ways, as you said, to make things sound better than what they are with out exactly lieing.

 

[Marquis]

I honestly believe that I don't ask questions that I should know sometimes tho. Hince the thread. And I know there are a lot of inexperienced people asking themselves, "what do I need to know so that I'm sure I'm safe?"

Honestly tho, I do tell a lot more about a person when I actually meet them than when I talk to them via im, email, or phone. I'm a people watcher, I notice little things like how many times he looks at his watch, or fiddles with something in his pockets, or how he taps a pencil or stums his fingers.

I also listen to what people are not saying as well. There are ways, as you said, to make things sound better than what they are with out exactly lieing.

I do meet a lot of girls while out that immediately ask me what I do for a living, and yes, it's always a turn-off. It's presumptuous, tactless and more than a little clueless.

Asking a person questions like that while on a date though is something altogether different.

 

[unfoundiamond]

I ask diffrent things in person than online...

I realized after I posted, I have a question...

I was reffering in my last post to what I ask in person, when getting to know someone I am interested in, like out alone together,

Online I ask every question under the sun...
As a prerequisite for meeting...

I thought you ment in person, like when choosing a conversation partner at a party or something... like you said in person ...

If we are talking online I say ask everyting, and pay attn to reactions and con(n?)otations of his answer(s)...

I know you got all the questions you'd need... no point in adding questions to the list... (I just ment don't forget to remember to listen to his answers(and lack of), in addition to all the good advice and questions you should ask which are all here)

 

[the captians wench]

I realized after I posted, I have a question...

I was reffering in my last post to what I ask in person, when getting to know someone I am interested in, like out alone together,

Online I ask every question under the sun...

As a prerequisite for meeting...

I thought you ment in person, like when choosing a conversation partner at a party or something... not screening people online...

If we are talking online I say ask everyting, and pay attn to reactions and conotations of his answer... no point in adding questions to the list... (I just ment don't forget to remember this in addition to all the good advice and questions here)

I didn't mean either way specifically (wow really need to avoid big words after a bit of honey wine), the fact is that my specific case is online at the moment, with plans of meeting in the very near future. But I will have to talk to him when we first meet as well. And I have the same trouble with people that I meet out in the world first. I just don't ask enough questions.

 

[unfoundiamond]

Online vs RL

See, and I got the feeling the second time I read your post you DID mean online and I ment in RL, (as did Marquis I think, CMIIW)

Yes, If you feel like you should ask him, ASK!! I have no regrets in life except NOT doing somethings (like asking a question, or not telling someone something)

I am just saying ask everything online, then in person take it all in, and maybe ask the questions that burn in your mind...

Actually, DEFINATELY ask the ones you are thinking...

Tomorrow is not promiced, Today... and don't hold off on asking today, thinking you can ask later...

 

[the captians wench]

See, and I got the feeling the second time I read your post you DID mean online and I ment in RL, (as did Marquis I think, CMIIW)

Yes, If you feel like you should ask him, ASK!! I have no regrets in life except NOT doing somethings (like asking a question, or not telling someone something)

I am just saying ask everything online, then in person take it all in, and maybe ask the questions that burn in your mind...

Actually, DEFINATELY ask the ones you are thinking...

Tomorrow is not promiced, Today... and don't hold off on asking today, thinking you can ask later...

See I don't really make such a drastic speration of my net and "real" life. What ever I say now, while we are talking online, are the same things I would say if we were face to face and met at a party or something. *shrug*

I was looking for things you "should" ask at any point. The "must knows". I haven't dated much period, let alone dating in the kinky world (tho I'm not sure how different that would be) and there are others here who are stepping into the kinky dating world. I thought this might be a good guide for any situation involving meeting a potential.

 

[catalina_francisco]

1. Totally single

2. haven't asked if he's ever been married...doesn't seem likely, but then you wouldn't suspect I have been either

3. one dalmation

4. very compatible interests


See I think that's the real problem with me. I'm more of an observer than a question asker. But so far this is im conversations and not a face to face yet. I like to watch the person, how they react to things and people and such which you just can't do over yahoo. So it's the question and answer portion of the game for now.

I actually don't think you're being more an observer is a problem. Many people ask questions, then accept blindly what is said in answer to the point of not even noticing when actions, or subsequent comments in conversation contradict what they answered. An example? Someone who says they don't judge a person on looks at all and think it stupid....then after awhile you notice when out in public they have a negative comment to say based on appearance (size, body shape, hair colour etc.) about many people they see or know, or even bring up these negatives in other conversations...definite contradiction and sometimes the connection is missed by those who follow more closely what they answered in the first place.

I never have been a big one on asking questions as it can often come out like an interview (not in terms of relationships...play partners can be different though if i have time I usually don't pump out questions either), and does make some people uncomfortable and not because they are necessarily bad people. I used more my intuition and picking up on things over time which did or didn't add up. Given enough time, it is rare a liar or someone with something major to hide doesn't let something slip which begins a process of noticing more inconsistencies. People can say anything, especially if they know orf guess what you want to hear...it is more difficult to continue that persona over time if it isn't who they really are.

Catalina

 

[the captians wench]

I actually don't think you're being more an observer is a problem. Many people ask questions, then accept blindly what is said in answer to the point of not even noticing when actions, or subsequent comments in conversation contradict what they answered. An example? Someone who says they don't judge a person on looks at all and think it stupid....then after awhile you notice when out in public they have a negative comment to say based on appearance (size, body shape, hair colour etc.) about many people they see or know, or even bring up these negatives in other conversations...definite contradiction and sometimes the connection is missed by those who follow more closely what they answered in the first place.

I never have been a big one on asking questions as it can often come out like an interview (not in terms of relationships...play partners can be different though if i have time I usually don't pump out questions either), and does make some people uncomfortable and not because they are necessarily bad people. I used more my intuition and picking up on things over time which did or didn't add up. Given enough time, it is rare a liar or someone with something major to hide doesn't let something slip which begins a process of noticing more inconsistencies. People can say anything, especially if they know orf guess what you want to hear...it is more difficult to continue that persona over time if it isn't who they really are.

Catalina

I guess maybe I'm just used to people being surprized when I don't have questions for them. That "so what would you like to know about me?" or "do you have any questions for me?" tends to make me feel like I should be asking something. I rather enjoy just talking and when a question springs to mind (as rare as that might be) I ask. *shrug*

 

[catalina_francisco]

I guess maybe I'm just used to people being surprized when I don't have questions for them. That "so what would you like to know about me?" or "do you have any questions for me?" tends to make me feel like I should be asking something. I rather enjoy just talking and when a question springs to mind (as rare as that might be) I ask. *shrug*

Sounds reasonable to me. Also what I find is when you ask questions, unless you word them specifically tricky, they know or at least suspect what you want to hear and so can answer in such a manner as opposed to the truth. COnversation tends to relax people after awhile, and it is then you will notice slip ups or things unthinkingly mentioned.

Catalina

 

[twysted73]

And what of the opposite?

What of those types whom never allow themselves to truly trust regardless of how forthcoming you are when you meet?
I understand baggage. I understand how one alters their habbits and approaches because of it. ( I am such a candidate )
But in this sort of situation I think the best you can do is offer your honesty, truth and forthcoming answers about anything asked and simply accept the other person's ability or inability to trust knowing you did all that could be done.

"You can lead a horse to water.." applies here I think.

Or even better, what if they admittedly claim a past that has produced a reflex in them to be naturally secretive? Why must one partner be truthful while the other claim reflexive seclusion and ommition?
Do you allow such a double standard or place a limit on it? Again, and in large part,"We are the products of our past & the sum of our experiences" whether we'd like to admit to it or not.

I realize this and acknowladge this to a certain extent. But how much loss do we allow in our personal lives before a change must be made and old distrusts and "reflexes" must be let go in favor of a healthy possability? How long does one hold onto the trappings of past transgressions delivered upon us to effect and possibly deter potential opportunities?

"Cut off our noses to spite our faces".

I feel in that situation...the truthful one has a choice. When their limit of patience runs it's course, they must decide to acknowladge the situation and cut their losses.

 

[unfoundiamond]

wow, great minds!

I actually don't think you're being more an observer is a problem. Many people ask questions, then accept blindly what is said* in answer to the point of not even noticing when actions, or subsequent comments in conversation contradict what they answered. An example? Someone who says they don't judge a person on looks at all and think it stupid....then after awhile you notice when out in public they have a negative comment to say based on appearance (size, body shape, hair colour etc.) about many people they see or know, or even bring up these negatives in other conversations...definite contradiction and sometimes the connection is missed by those who follow more closely what they answered in the first place*.

I never have been a big one on asking questions as it can often come out like an interview* (not in terms of relationships...play partners can be different though* if i have time I usually don't pump out questions either), and does make some people uncomfortable and not because they are necessarily bad people. I used more my intuition and picking up on things over time which did or didn't add up. Given enough time, it is rare a liar or someone with something major to hide doesn't let something slip which begins a process of noticing more inconsistencies. People can say anything, especially if they know orf guess what you want to hear*...it is more difficult to continue that persona over time if it isn't who they really are.

Catalina

This is what I was trying to get out, however, Catalina hit the nail on the head with this one, I star*ed what I agreed with...

 

[unfoundiamond]

I have to say.

Everyone lies...

Its about intentions.

If you think you can read Twysts last paragraph, and classify yourself as the "truthful" one, you are full of shit...

And Yes, peoples baggage from old relationships carries on to stifel new ones...
But, come on! Don't you remember...

Everything happens for a reason...

 

[madetotakeit]

Everybody lies? Well I supposed if you count "white lies"-calling out sick when you aren't, saying you have to go do "x" when a friend when rambles and repeats the same stories already told for hours on end calls, etc. Lies told with a perspective partner though are not acceptable. Those are major issues. You are placing your safety in that persons hands. Trust is the base of all relationships, but even more essentially in situations such as these.

Watch for body language. Fidgeting is a dead give away. Not the nervous fidgeting, but look to see if it starts when answering questions or relating an anecdote. Is there a noticeable distance between you? Someone being untruthful will instinctively keep a large space. Look for the eye contact. Are they willing to meet your eyes. When you ask a deep or personal question do they cut them to the side? When answering a question truthfully direct eye contact is made. If the eyes cut to the left during a pause before answering, they are remembering details, etc-but the eyes will come direct when the answer is given. These are standard interviewing details taught in any police academy from your local 20 person force all the way to the FBI. ( A really interesting book by John Douglas called Mind Hunter goes into great detail on how the behavioral science department was started at Quantico. Great tips for looking into the human psyche.)

Everybody does hold back. Nobody gives up the minutiae of their emotional experiences and history on a first meet. It isn't lying, it's human nature. People reveal themselves in layers. Trust is never immediate. It's a give and take. Ask and I will tell you the truth, but you better be willing to do the same.

I'm like you Wench. I hate being asked if I have any questions. It makes me feel like I'm at a job interview. My mind tends to go blank at that point. I may have thought of an essential piece of information I want to know, but as soon as that question comes out, it flies right out of my mind. I prefer the conversation approach. Questions will naturally develop. Plus, to me, you get a better feel for the person. Answer truthfully and trust your instincts (just watch that person's body language!)

 

[JMohegan]

I was looking for things you "should" ask at any point. The "must knows". I haven't dated much period, let alone dating in the kinky world (tho I'm not sure how different that would be) and there are others here who are stepping into the kinky dating world. I thought this might be a good guide for any situation involving meeting a potential.

I find your thread very refreshing, Wench. I have seen many on the subject of safety tips for first meets, kink compatibility & checklists, etc., but none on the subject of how to establish overall compatibility when selecting a mate.

I like questions 1 - 10, and would add that I consider the exchange of this type of information to be a distinguishing factor between casual encounters or fleeting interaction on the one hand, and exploration possibly leading to a more focused, committed relationship on the other.

I'm really enjoying being taken as me the whole package rather than me the cock sucking pain slut.

I know what you mean.

In my late teens and early 20's, I never cared why I was successful when chasin' skirt. It was enough for me that I got what I wanted sexually before moving on.

But once I developed an interest in established relationships, I developed a clear preference for someone who is attracted to me, the "whole package," as well.

Therefore, if a woman did *not* ask me questions of the 1 - 10 type, I would take this as a very big negative indeed.

Of course, I do not expect to ask, or be asked, interview-style. I assume that we're talking about what happens over the course of the opening series of dates in our discussion here.

 

[Primalex]

Everybody lies? Well I supposed if you count "white lies"-calling out sick when you aren't, saying you have to go do "x" when a friend when rambles and repeats the same stories already told for hours on end calls, etc. Lies told with a perspective partner though are not acceptable. Those are major issues. You are placing your safety in that persons hands. Trust is the base of all relationships, but even more essentially in situations such as these.

I tend to agree with unfoundiamond. What qualifies a "white lie"? Isn't it much more important why we lie? Do we want to protect someone from harm with the lie? Do we want to protect ourselves from harm? Do we lie for selfish reasons? Aren't your "white lies" examples actually very bad reasons to lie?

"Truth that's told with bad intent beats all the lies you can invent." - William Blake
"The truth is often a terrible weapon of aggression. It is possible to lie, and even murder with the truth." - Alfred Adler
"A lie is nothing more and nothing less than a gun." - Primalex

 

[Primalex]

10. Are you looking to get married or have children? When?

No offense, but the very second a woman would ask me this on the very first date, I would be gone, especially if she asked for details about my job/income before.

 

[madetotakeit]

IMO a white lie is something that is trivial, but is not impacting on those important to you. Something said to omit or cover up is no longer a white lie. Things said to be tactful may not be the harsh truth, but I challenge anyone to say they have never done it. It does not make that person bad or even dishonest. It is usually said to prevent hurt feelings.

In the example of telling the friend a white lie, is it better to say I have to go do "x" knowing you will call back when you are able to handle the story for the 20th time or is it better to say "I honestly can't deal with hearing this again at this moment in time?" As far as calling sick into work when you aren't...it may mean I simply can not deal with it today, and in my line of work that puts lives of the public and public safety personnel at risk. I would much rather take a mental health day than go into work and not be at the top of my game for 12 hours.

I don't think that makes me prone to lie to my partner or perspective partner.

 

[the captians wench]

I find your thread very refreshing, Wench. I have seen many on the subject of safety tips for first meets, kink compatibility & checklists, etc., but none on the subject of how to establish overall compatibility when selecting a mate.

I like questions 1 - 10, and would add that I consider the exchange of this type of information to be a distinguishing factor between casual encounters or fleeting interaction on the one hand, and exploration possibly leading to a more focused, committed relationship on the other.


I know what you mean.

In my late teens and early 20's, I never cared why I was successful when chasin' skirt. It was enough for me that I got what I wanted sexually before moving on.

But once I developed an interest in established relationships, I developed a clear preference for someone who is attracted to me, the "whole package," as well.

Therefore, if a woman did *not* ask me questions of the 1 - 10 type, I would take this as a very big negative indeed.

Of course, I do not expect to ask, or be asked, interview-style. I assume that we're talking about what happens over the course of the opening series of dates in our discussion here.

Yes, JM, more so than not I'm talking about over the course of a few dates, or in this particular case over the course of a week of chatting via im. A few of these may be recovered durring the date, but I'm not looking for an interview style evening where I whip out the index cards and start going over the questions one by one.

"congratulations, you have passed the interview stage, I officially see potential here. We may now enjoy the evening." kind of a buzz kill.

I'm also looking at questions that I need to know the answer too...not nessisarily questions that I ask directly. Some information comes up naturally durring the course of conversation, some of it you have to ask out right.

 

[JMohegan]

Yes, JM, more so than not I'm talking about over the course of a few dates, or in this particular case over the course of a week of chatting via im. A few of these may be recovered durring the date, but I'm not looking for an interview style evening where I whip out the index cards and start going over the questions one by one.

"congratulations, you have passed the interview stage, I officially see potential here. We may now enjoy the evening." kind of a buzz kill.

I'm also looking at questions that I need to know the answer too...not nessisarily questions that I ask directly. Some information comes up naturally durring the course of conversation, some of it you have to ask out right.

Yes, that would be buzz kill indeed! Perhaps humorous as a parody of the exchange of kinky checklists, though.

Your last paragraph makes a lot of sense, naturally.

 

[doveofserenity]

how do you subtly find out about their sexual preferences without abruptly asking "so do you like to eat pussy?"

Well, with younger nosier kids at home; i tend to keep my "toys" including blindfolds, bondage gear, floggers etc. in a clear lidded box in the trunk of my car.

When i go for the first meeting at one of a certain list of restaurants;first off - i always stick my purse in the trunk, so that He cant nosy in it, if i have to go to the restroom or anything. i also have friends that work at those already known "safe" restaurants that can help watch over the meeting without Him knowing of it. Then afterwards, report back with their opinions and first impressions of Him.

If the meeting goes well, and we walk out together to go anywhere; i say something like "Oh, i left something in my purse in my trunk. Please walk with me, i'm not sure of this area". Yea, i know; playing that part a little too nervous, but it works most of the time.

When i unlock the trunk to get into my purse, what does He see??? My box of "toys".

Thats when i look to see how He is dealing with what He see's in that box. If He is almost in shock, then i would think...ok, He may not like the same things i do.

If He has a big grin, or an evil smile; then i at least know He isnt against the idea of certain realms that i like.

 

[the captians wench]

As far as ling, I don't lie. Call me a liar if you must, but it's true. I can't lie. I never have been able to, since I was a little child. If I can't answer with out getting in trouble, hurting some one, or the vast other reasons that some one comes up with for ling, I tend to giggle and blush and look at my toes. Those who know me know what that means, and usually get a chuckle out of my reaction before moving on.

I also tell on myself, again, something learned in an early part of my life. Don't believe me, go back and look at the threads I've started, or ask HB what all we covered our first meet. *giggles* My life is an open book. Sometimes I feel like I say too much, but I do pretty much tell everything about myself right away.

Now, I don't expect a person to tell me everything, like I do. But I do expect them to tell me a lot, and to be honest about it. If it's something that they'd rather not talk about, I'd rather they tell me that then beat around the subject like they are hiding something.

 

[the captians wench]

Well, with younger nosier kids at home; i tend to keep my "toys" including blindfolds, bondage gear, floggers etc. in a clear lidded box in the trunk of my car.

When i go for the first meeting at one of a certain list of restaurants;first off - i always stick my purse in the trunk, so that He cant nosy in it, if i have to go to the restroom or anything. i also have friends that work at those already known "safe" restaurants that can help watch over the meeting without Him knowing of it. Then afterwards, report back with their opinions and first impressions of Him.

If the meeting goes well, and we walk out together to go anywhere; i say something like "Oh, i left something in my purse in my trunk. Please walk with me, i'm not sure of this area". Yea, i know; playing that part a little too nervous, but it works most of the time.

When i unlock the trunk to get into my purse, what does He see??? My box of "toys".

Thats when i look to see how He is dealing with what He see's in that box. If He is almost in shock, then i would think...ok, He may not like the same things i do.

If He has a big grin, or an evil smile; then i at least know He isnt against the idea of certain realms that i like.

*giggles* brilliant.