Tan's Tittie Bar

TANSTAAFL58

Lost and Profound
Joined
May 18, 2018
Posts
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So a bunch of things things have kind of come together in my mind today.

First, the "situation" we all find ourselves in means lots of bored people coming back to Lit for a little good, clean dirty fun. (Welcome and nice to see you). Mrs T even made a flyby today!

Second, Firecracker made this post, pointing out the Friday is National Lingerie Day:

http://forum.literotica.com/showpost.php?p=92229759&postcount=2206

I'm down with that. In fact, I fully support the hell out of it!

And a few days ago , Misswannie made this post on the Tittie Awards thread:

http://forum.literotica.com/showpost.php?p=92202903&postcount=1326

Dammit she's right. It brought everyone out and we teased and talked and had a pretty good time for the most part. (Moochie, Angelica; that was a great idea)

Add to that I was just visiting Justadeperatewifeandmom's thread for a uh, nail polish day. Yeah that was the theme. Themes are good in general. They help bring creativity out

AmPics is a small community. Like towns and cities from Shreveport to Shawinigan, it therefore needs a Tittie Bar (Florida Man would approve, so would the health department, since it be be keeping us in a socially distanced bar)

Come in, have a seat. Flash your titties or butt to get the bartender's attention. Post an outtake from you last attempt to get a selfie of your own ass without a cat in it. (That one may be a tad specific). Tell a joke. Record an erotic poem, seductive Haiku or naughty Limerick.

And if anyone has an idea for a theme night or week, post it.

To kick things off, for the next week or so, two things:

1. Post your best "X walks into a bar" Joke (A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "Why the long face?")

2. Lingerie! In celebration of (Inter) National Lingerie Day Post a pic of YOU (not some VS model) in actual sexy lingerie. (Micio had a nice one yesterday). Remember: Sexy doesn't necessarily mean what the manufacturers think it is. I favour woman in an man's shirt. Gents, the ladies like eye candy too. There seems to be a love of fur. And butts. (Somebody call Blade...)

This may fizzle faster than any thread in Lit History, but hey, I think we could all use this. (Joke follows)
 
A Blonde, A Redhead and a Brunette walk into a bar

A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette walk into a bar.

They're all underage, and hence, they have fake ID's. The bartender see them and knows they are underage, so he call the cops. The redhead informs the girls that the bartender has called the cops and they have to leave.

They run out the back door and see a barn. Inside, the redhead notices 3 potato sacks on the floor. She tells the girls to each hide in a potato sack.

The police then arrive in the bar, and the bartender takes them out back to look around. They go into the barn and look everywhere.

One cop says "They might be in those potato sacks".

He kicks the first one containing the redhead and hears "Woof, woof". "That's a dog" he thinks to himself.

He kicks the second bag containing the brunette and hears "Meow, meow". "Well that must be a cat" he thinks.

Finally, he kicks the last bag containing the blonde and hears in a slow voice "po...ta...to...es!"
 
Two drunks walk into a bar.

The third one ducks.

(Yeah, it's bad, but I figured it would be fun to get things going)
 
Shirts with a haiku are overrated
But I’m wearing one.
Bollicks

SB
 
1. A priest, a rabbi, and a monk walk into the bar. The bartender says, “What is this, a joke?”

2. Glimpse of a sports bra

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1. A joke is escaping me right now, even my usual corny ones...

2. I'll contribute some Man Lingerie. 😜 Is it cold in here?
 
Wow Missswannie.. That's very sexy lace.. Are their panties that match??
Might be one of your sexiest??
 
1. A priest, a rabbi, and a monk walk into the bar. The bartender says, “What is this, a joke?”

2. Glimpse of a sports bra

A man is being arrested by a female police officer, who informs him, "Anything you say can and will be held against you." The man replies, "Boobs!"

Nice place, Mr Tan. 😘.

1. An Australian guy walks into a bar.
That is the current joke.

2. I'm in. Ante up. I can't remember when I wore a bra last so call it a Covid bra for the times.

Anyway, Work From Home Bra, Zoom Bra, and what not joke aside.
I do like lace and a lighter cup.

Ladies, you each have outdone yourself! Such gorgeous women here at the Titty Bar. 😍😍😍
 
I'll Play

A minister, a priest and a rabbit walk into a bar. The rabbit looks around and says, "I think I'm a typo!":D
 
1. A priest, a rabbi, and a monk walk into the bar. The bartender says, “What is this, a joke?”

2. Glimpse of a sports bra

attachment.php

Love the joke and the bra glimpse! You never disappoint with your pics!

1. An Australian guy walks into a bar.
That is the current joke.

2. I'm in. Ante up. I can't remember when I wore a bra last so call it a Covid bra for the times.
attachment.php

Nice vantage point! And if you don't have a need for bras anymore, please consider donating them to me so I can make the cups into much-needed face-masks. :D
 
Can leaves be lingerie?

SB
 
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How about this?

SB
 
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