Swiss Army knife goes woke, no longer has a knife

[snailspace]

https://twitter.com/x/status/1790025321573429332

 

[RoryN]

1. This story is almost a week old.

2. Wrong forum.

3. You spelled "army" wrong.

4. No one cares.

 

[AndersonsBiographer]

Knockoff knifeless Swiss Army Tools have existed since forever. They're pretty common in parts of Asia, where folding knives are illegal.

This is probably coming into existence for the same reason those exist.

 

[ll74]

So you can get one with a knife or one without a knife.

Choices are woke?

Neat

 

[Bray123]

https://www.npr.org/2024/05/09/1250052841/new-line-of-swiss-army-knives-will-come-without-the-knife#:~:text=Gaming-,New line of Swiss Army Knives will come without the,countries was behind the decision.

Victorinox, the company behind the Swiss army knife, is making a multi-tool without a blade. The CEO said increased regulation of knives in certain countries was behind the decision.

Snaily is far too eager to go totally snowflake. Try checking up on the drivel posted by minor right-wing bloggers before creating a thread, this level of outrage is pathetic.

 

[AndersonsBiographer]

https://www.npr.org/2024/05/09/1250052841/new-line-of-swiss-army-knives-will-come-without-the-knife#:~:text=Gaming-,New line of Swiss Army Knives will come without the,countries was behind the decision.


Snaily is far too eager to go totally snowflake. Try checking up on the drivel posted by minor right-wing bloggers before creating a thread, this level of outrage is pathetic.

I mean, those laws are kind of dumb. There's no good reason to ban folding pocket knives, apart from the fact that cheap ones are often dangerous. A pocket knife isn't really an effective killing implement compared to, say, a stick. Or a rock, or a screwdriver. Just another case of "the authorities" thinking that they can put a curb on crime/terrorism/whatever else they want us to be scared of by making life just a little more aggravating for everyone.

Actually, it almost gives credence to the common rightist claim that, if we ever give up our semi-automatic rifles, it'll just give the pigs an excuse to find something else to ban until they're down to pocket knives and needle-nosed scissors.

 

[Rightguide]

Hey, The Boy Scouts of America are no longer just boys either. The outfit has been infiltrated by Marxist propagandists.

 

[ll74]

Hey, The Boy Scouts of America are no longer just boys either. The outfit has been infiltrated by Marxist propagandists.

The outfit has realized they can't survive without additional membership.

Mostly because they have a history of molesting boys.

 

[Rightguide]

The outfit has realized they can't survive without additional membership.

Mostly because they have a history of molesting boys.

No, they have been in the process of subverting the BSA for two decades or more and now they have succeeded. Their membership in straight males will decline as a result.

So what was behind the stupid decision of the knifemaker? Did they have a shortage of pussified customers?

 

[ll74]

No, they have been in the process of subverting the BSA for two decades or more and now they have succeeded. Their membership in straight males will decline as a result.

So what was behind the stupid decision of the knifemaker?

Lol

The decision to offer a tool without knives?

Marketing.

 

[Bray123]

No, they have been in the process of subverting the BSA for two decades or more and now they have succeeded. Their membership in straight males will decline as a result.

So what was behind the stupid decision of the knifemaker? Did they have a shortage of pussified customers?

Do you have reading difficulties? In certain countries certain blades are banned by the government so the company is continuing business by offering a product with a corkscrew, screwdrivers, scissors, nail file, hacksaw, fish scaler, pliers, wire stripper, magnifying glass, bradawl, tweezers, bottle opener, thing for getting stones out of horses hooves but no blade. Nothing to do with the customers who might indeed want to stab each other like genuine good 'ole boys.

 

[Bn2f]

Their membership in straight males will decline as a result.

I think you meant raping pedophiles or are you indicating that you’re one of the straight men who’s leaving?

 

[YDB95]

Straight males will leave because the BSA admitted girls? You haven't thought this through, as usual.

 

[AndersonsBiographer]

Scouting orgs are coed in a lot of different countries. Pretty sure it always was in Russia, and in much of post-colonial South Asia there's no separate boy/girl scouts as organizations, though the sexes are of course kept separate on the individual level. I really don't see why BSA going coed would be a big deal, unless you're also the kind of person who thinks that mixing the sexes in high school and college will also lead to unhindered lust and debauchery.

(which, in fairness... )

 

[Rightguide]

Lol

The decision to offer a tool without knives?

Marketing.

Yes, some dummy decided it was smart to issue a Swiss Army Knife without a knife. Probably a DEI hire.

 

[ll74]

Yes, some dummy decided it was smart to issue a Swiss Army Knife without a knife. Probably a DEI hire.

Some marketer saw there was a demand for a toolset without a knife.

He had no idea it would trigger you dipshits.

 

[RoryN]

No, they have been in the process of subverting the BSA for two decades or more and now they have succeeded. Their membership in straight males will decline as a result.

Wat_Tyler was right to laugh at your post, above.

It's moronic.

 

[PaxNurgle]

Hey, The Boy Scouts of America are no longer just boys either. The outfit has been infiltrated by Marxist propagandists.

The sad thing is, most people would write something like this as a joke, and interpret it as such.

However, I'm fairly certain that you were being dead serious with that statement.

Which is utterly sad and pathetic, but par for the course with you.

 

[zysmith]

So you can get one with a knife or one without a knife.

Choices are woke?

Neat

First they remove a woman's choice, then the buyer of knives. GOP is anti choice for everyone

 

[justmethatswho]

It's no longer a knife if there is no knife.

 

[RoryN]

It's no longer a knife if there is no knife.

Correct - now it's a multi-tool.

And that is perfectly fine.

 

[Rightguide]

Straight males will leave because the BSA admitted girls? You haven't thought this through, as usual.

Boys who want to dress up like girls. You didn't think it through.

 

[Rightguide]

It's no longer a knife if there is no knife.

There are a growing number of men without balls who still want to call themselves men.

 

[Rightguide]

Some marketer saw there was a demand for a toolset without a knife.

He had no idea it would trigger you dipshits.

Then let's call it a Swiss Army Tool Set.

 

[ll74]

Then let's call it a Swiss Army Tool Set.

I think at this point they should call it the "Swiss Army Trigger the dipshits tool"