Something for you ladies to consider

[Actual_Mom]

This may be a little long, but while I was writing my series of stories, I had to take a side road and write this .... Some may call B.S. on this, and that's fine.
- - - - -
From our early years, boys are programmed to think of lingerie as “sex”. There’s probably no such thing as sexy lingerie. ALL lingerie is intended to be sexy. The extent of the sexiness is formed within our own minds as we mature. What one person thinks is sexy, another might consider clownish. Our own tastes, likes, dislikes are uniquely formed as we grow up and mature.

This is true with just about everything, cars, homes, cell phones, etc. Our personal taste (and sometimes our wallets), makes a lot of our decisions and there are manufacturers trying every day to find YOUR personal taste that translates into revenue for them. So who is the ultimate target consumer of lingerie? That’s easy… men.

That’s not to say lingerie isn’t for women as well. After all, if a woman didn’t ‘feel’ sexy wearing lingerie, she wouldn’t. Her whole objective is to 1) feel sexy, and 2) to be desired by a man (which in turn makes her feel sexy. Interesting circle!).

That’s pretty much it. If a man didn’t find her sexy or desirable wearing it, she wouldn’t feel sexy and therefore wouldn’t wear it and would change to something that her significant other does like. If lingerie didn’t have this effect on men (and women), there wouldn’t be whole industries built around it to the tune of $9 billion/year – with a growth of 5.5% over the last five years. Lingerie = sex = revenue. Like the saying goes, ‘sex sells’!

I believe this is the root of most male crossdressing. The extent that a man fantasizes about wearing women’s clothes varies, but the core of it still comes down to one simple explanation … sex.

Some men try to completely transform by dressing up with wig, makeup, lingerie, a dress, shoes. Head to toe, even wearing prosthetic breasts, they try to make themselves feel like and even try to live as a woman would, which might be diagnosed as gender dysphoria (gender identity disorder).

Some may like to just wear women’s panties or other female intimates like stockings, nitegowns, babydolls, etc, which for him brings the items of the fetish closer to his own sex, and thereby making him feel sexy and somewhat naughty because of the social taboo surrounding it. The psychiatric diagnosis for this activity is called transvestic fetishism.

But just wearing lingerie really doesn’t qualify as transvestic fetishism unless there are other factors; 1)individuals must be sexually aroused from the crossdressing, AND 2) must experience significant distress or impairment from the behavior. Also being a fetish, there is no sexual satisfaction / gratification without the fetish object being present. So to practice this with your mate in the privacy of your bedroom, sure, a man would become sexually aroused, but that is about where it ends and we wouldn’t even consider this fetish unless he / she MUST have the object present for his / her sexual gratification.

Both of these, gender dysphoria and transvestic fetishism falls outside the socially expected norm for the gender. There is a stigma that society has placed around men that wear women’s clothing, to any extent, and it isn’t good. Pervert, homosexual, sick, etc. But most people don’t realize that even transvestic fetishism is benign and almost exclusively practiced by heterosexual men. But the stigma of being thought of as a pervert or homosexual prevents most men from ever exploring the possibility of trying it, even to the smallest extent.

We see videos on TV of a police officer pulling over a driver for some routine traffic offense, and when the man gets out of his car, the police dash-cam shows a man, wearing woman’s clothing, sometimes from head to toe, or may simply be wearing a skirt and stockings. Society is shocked at the sight. Right? Why else would they show a boring and otherwise routine traffic stop on national TV? Because it gives the network the shock value that sells, and provides society something (or someone) to laugh at.

So what about those men that have actually considered what it would be like wearing women’s intimates, but didn’t dare to even explore it due to the fear of what society thinks about it, but even more important, what his wife or girlfriend would think of him. It could completely change how she sees him. She might see him as something less than a man, or somehow perverted to even want to do it. Most men wouldn’t be able to live with that, so they never even dare explore it. Even if they secretly fantasize about what it would be like, they would never do it, or ever share their fantasies about it, especially with their wife or girlfriend. Not ever. That’s too bad.

The relationship we have with our spouse (or significant other) should be our ‘Safe Place’. That one person that we can trust 100% with our interests and even our fantasies. Someplace where we can share and discuss openly our desires, even our most secret desires and fantasies without the risk of being judged, frowned on, laughed at, or ridiculed. Indeed, it is too bad that most relationships are less than 100% safe. There exists no ‘Safe Place’ for these men.

I don’t have any data to support this, but I would climb out on a limb and say that a fairly sizable population of men have thought about it at some point, but never dared to act on it, let alone share it with anyone. He can’t share it, even with someone that is supposed to be his ‘Safe Place’. I believe, if it ever HAS crossed his mind, then I argue he has considered the idea to be potentially exciting. If it wasn’t, it never would have occurred to him in the first place.

For you women, would you ever consider asking your hubby to put on a pair of your panties? Or a pair of your stockings or other articles of lingerie? Are you afraid of what he would think of you? Maybe? Or are you concerned what you might think of him if he actually agrees to your offer. I would venture a guess that your mate would be more willing to try things with you if they were your idea.

I’m suggesting, perhaps, you wouldn’t ever consider this because you actually DO see it as something that is ‘not normal’, and this would indeed change how you see him. Again, too bad.

I can assure you, he wouldn’t consider you less of a woman for asking, or that you are somehow twisted for wanting him to wear something for you in the privacy of your own bedroom. Not at all. Has he asked you to wear something special in the bedroom? Did you think less of him for asking? His fear would be to actually take you up on it and risk having you view him as something less than a man, or as ‘not normal’. And if you would never ask him to wear lingerie because you DO see it as not normal, he would be right, and there really is no ‘Safe Place’ for him.

So he continues to live with this secret, never daring to explore it. He thinks it might be fun, and even sexually exciting, especially if he had someone to share it with. For his entire life, he has been programmed to see lingerie as sexy and exciting, but will never explore it for himself if he thinks it might cost him the trust of the one he loves most.

For myself, I am a 64 year old widow. I was married 40 years (to the same loving man), and I regret that it never occurred to me that he might have enjoyed wearing some of my intimates. Now I fall into the camp that it sounds fun, even a little naughty, but I hope I would have enjoyed that HE enjoyed it and would never have considered him less of a man.

 

[Iris_66]

This may be a little long, but while I was writing my series of stories, I had to take a side road and write this .... Some may call B.S. on this, and that's fine.

snip

For myself, I am a 64 year old widow. I was married 40 years (to the same loving man), and I regret that it never occurred to me that he might have enjoyed wearing some of my intimates. Now I fall into the camp that it sounds fun, even a little naughty, but I hope I would have enjoyed that HE enjoyed it and would never have considered him less of a man.

Wow, not only great to see a well thought through and well written long form piece

But also really interesting to read

Certainly echoes large chunks of my experiences

Thank you Actual_Mom

 

[Actual_Mom]

Wow, not only great to see a well thought through and well written long form piece

But also really interesting to read

Certainly echoes large chunks of my experiences

Thank you Actual_Mom

Thanks,
I've only just noticed this over the last couple years that some guys really enjoy it ... and it shows.

My opinion - go for it.

 

[writerzblok92]

This may be a little long, but while I was writing my series of stories, I had to take a side road and write this .... Some may call B.S. on this, and that's fine.
- - - - -
From our early years, boys are programmed to think of lingerie as “sex”. There’s probably no such thing as sexy lingerie. ALL lingerie is intended to be sexy. The extent of the sexiness is formed within our own minds as we mature. What one person thinks is sexy, another might consider clownish. Our own tastes, likes, dislikes are uniquely formed as we grow up and mature.

This is true with just about everything, cars, homes, cell phones, etc. Our personal taste (and sometimes our wallets), makes a lot of our decisions and there are manufacturers trying every day to find YOUR personal taste that translates into revenue for them. So who is the ultimate target consumer of lingerie? That’s easy… men.

That’s not to say lingerie isn’t for women as well. After all, if a woman didn’t ‘feel’ sexy wearing lingerie, she wouldn’t. Her whole objective is to 1) feel sexy, and 2) to be desired by a man (which in turn makes her feel sexy. Interesting circle!).

That’s pretty much it. If a man didn’t find her sexy or desirable wearing it, she wouldn’t feel sexy and therefore wouldn’t wear it and would change to something that her significant other does like. If lingerie didn’t have this effect on men (and women), there wouldn’t be whole industries built around it to the tune of $9 billion/year – with a growth of 5.5% over the last five years. Lingerie = sex = revenue. Like the saying goes, ‘sex sells’!

I believe this is the root of most male crossdressing. The extent that a man fantasizes about wearing women’s clothes varies, but the core of it still comes down to one simple explanation … sex.

Some men try to completely transform by dressing up with wig, makeup, lingerie, a dress, shoes. Head to toe, even wearing prosthetic breasts, they try to make themselves feel like and even try to live as a woman would, which might be diagnosed as gender dysphoria (gender identity disorder).

Some may like to just wear women’s panties or other female intimates like stockings, nitegowns, babydolls, etc, which for him brings the items of the fetish closer to his own sex, and thereby making him feel sexy and somewhat naughty because of the social taboo surrounding it. The psychiatric diagnosis for this activity is called transvestic fetishism.

But just wearing lingerie really doesn’t qualify as transvestic fetishism unless there are other factors; 1)individuals must be sexually aroused from the crossdressing, AND 2) must experience significant distress or impairment from the behavior. Also being a fetish, there is no sexual satisfaction / gratification without the fetish object being present. So to practice this with your mate in the privacy of your bedroom, sure, a man would become sexually aroused, but that is about where it ends and we wouldn’t even consider this fetish unless he / she MUST have the object present for his / her sexual gratification.

Both of these, gender dysphoria and transvestic fetishism falls outside the socially expected norm for the gender. There is a stigma that society has placed around men that wear women’s clothing, to any extent, and it isn’t good. Pervert, homosexual, sick, etc. But most people don’t realize that even transvestic fetishism is benign and almost exclusively practiced by heterosexual men. But the stigma of being thought of as a pervert or homosexual prevents most men from ever exploring the possibility of trying it, even to the smallest extent.

We see videos on TV of a police officer pulling over a driver for some routine traffic offense, and when the man gets out of his car, the police dash-cam shows a man, wearing woman’s clothing, sometimes from head to toe, or may simply be wearing a skirt and stockings. Society is shocked at the sight. Right? Why else would they show a boring and otherwise routine traffic stop on national TV? Because it gives the network the shock value that sells, and provides society something (or someone) to laugh at.

So what about those men that have actually considered what it would be like wearing women’s intimates, but didn’t dare to even explore it due to the fear of what society thinks about it, but even more important, what his wife or girlfriend would think of him. It could completely change how she sees him. She might see him as something less than a man, or somehow perverted to even want to do it. Most men wouldn’t be able to live with that, so they never even dare explore it. Even if they secretly fantasize about what it would be like, they would never do it, or ever share their fantasies about it, especially with their wife or girlfriend. Not ever. That’s too bad.

The relationship we have with our spouse (or significant other) should be our ‘Safe Place’. That one person that we can trust 100% with our interests and even our fantasies. Someplace where we can share and discuss openly our desires, even our most secret desires and fantasies without the risk of being judged, frowned on, laughed at, or ridiculed. Indeed, it is too bad that most relationships are less than 100% safe. There exists no ‘Safe Place’ for these men.

I don’t have any data to support this, but I would climb out on a limb and say that a fairly sizable population of men have thought about it at some point, but never dared to act on it, let alone share it with anyone. He can’t share it, even with someone that is supposed to be his ‘Safe Place’. I believe, if it ever HAS crossed his mind, then I argue he has considered the idea to be potentially exciting. If it wasn’t, it never would have occurred to him in the first place.

For you women, would you ever consider asking your hubby to put on a pair of your panties? Or a pair of your stockings or other articles of lingerie? Are you afraid of what he would think of you? Maybe? Or are you concerned what you might think of him if he actually agrees to your offer. I would venture a guess that your mate would be more willing to try things with you if they were your idea.

I’m suggesting, perhaps, you wouldn’t ever consider this because you actually DO see it as something that is ‘not normal’, and this would indeed change how you see him. Again, too bad.

I can assure you, he wouldn’t consider you less of a woman for asking, or that you are somehow twisted for wanting him to wear something for you in the privacy of your own bedroom. Not at all. Has he asked you to wear something special in the bedroom? Did you think less of him for asking? His fear would be to actually take you up on it and risk having you view him as something less than a man, or as ‘not normal’. And if you would never ask him to wear lingerie because you DO see it as not normal, he would be right, and there really is no ‘Safe Place’ for him.

So he continues to live with this secret, never daring to explore it. He thinks it might be fun, and even sexually exciting, especially if he had someone to share it with. For his entire life, he has been programmed to see lingerie as sexy and exciting, but will never explore it for himself if he thinks it might cost him the trust of the one he loves most.

For myself, I am a 64 year old widow. I was married 40 years (to the same loving man), and I regret that it never occurred to me that he might have enjoyed wearing some of my intimates. Now I fall into the camp that it sounds fun, even a little naughty, but I hope I would have enjoyed that HE enjoyed it and would never have considered him less of a man.

Thank you!!! This was a great post to read. I really appreciate it.

It's true in my case in so many ways.

 

[Maturelickr]

This may be a little long, but while I was writing my series of stories, I had to take a side road and write this .... Some may call B.S. on this, and that's fine.
- - - - -
From our early years, boys are programmed to think of lingerie as “sex”. There’s probably no such thing as sexy lingerie. ALL lingerie is intended to be sexy. The extent of the sexiness is formed within our own minds as we mature. What one person thinks is sexy, another might consider clownish. Our own tastes, likes, dislikes are uniquely formed as we grow up and mature.

This is true with just about everything, cars, homes, cell phones, etc. Our personal taste (and sometimes our wallets), makes a lot of our decisions and there are manufacturers trying every day to find YOUR personal taste that translates into revenue for them. So who is the ultimate target consumer of lingerie? That’s easy… men.

That’s not to say lingerie isn’t for women as well. After all, if a woman didn’t ‘feel’ sexy wearing lingerie, she wouldn’t. Her whole objective is to 1) feel sexy, and 2) to be desired by a man (which in turn makes her feel sexy. Interesting circle!).

That’s pretty much it. If a man didn’t find her sexy or desirable wearing it, she wouldn’t feel sexy and therefore wouldn’t wear it and would change to something that her significant other does like. If lingerie didn’t have this effect on men (and women), there wouldn’t be whole industries built around it to the tune of $9 billion/year – with a growth of 5.5% over the last five years. Lingerie = sex = revenue. Like the saying goes, ‘sex sells’!

I believe this is the root of most male crossdressing. The extent that a man fantasizes about wearing women’s clothes varies, but the core of it still comes down to one simple explanation … sex.

Some men try to completely transform by dressing up with wig, makeup, lingerie, a dress, shoes. Head to toe, even wearing prosthetic breasts, they try to make themselves feel like and even try to live as a woman would, which might be diagnosed as gender dysphoria (gender identity disorder).

Some may like to just wear women’s panties or other female intimates like stockings, nitegowns, babydolls, etc, which for him brings the items of the fetish closer to his own sex, and thereby making him feel sexy and somewhat naughty because of the social taboo surrounding it. The psychiatric diagnosis for this activity is called transvestic fetishism.

But just wearing lingerie really doesn’t qualify as transvestic fetishism unless there are other factors; 1)individuals must be sexually aroused from the crossdressing, AND 2) must experience significant distress or impairment from the behavior. Also being a fetish, there is no sexual satisfaction / gratification without the fetish object being present. So to practice this with your mate in the privacy of your bedroom, sure, a man would become sexually aroused, but that is about where it ends and we wouldn’t even consider this fetish unless he / she MUST have the object present for his / her sexual gratification.

Both of these, gender dysphoria and transvestic fetishism falls outside the socially expected norm for the gender. There is a stigma that society has placed around men that wear women’s clothing, to any extent, and it isn’t good. Pervert, homosexual, sick, etc. But most people don’t realize that even transvestic fetishism is benign and almost exclusively practiced by heterosexual men. But the stigma of being thought of as a pervert or homosexual prevents most men from ever exploring the possibility of trying it, even to the smallest extent.

We see videos on TV of a police officer pulling over a driver for some routine traffic offense, and when the man gets out of his car, the police dash-cam shows a man, wearing woman’s clothing, sometimes from head to toe, or may simply be wearing a skirt and stockings. Society is shocked at the sight. Right? Why else would they show a boring and otherwise routine traffic stop on national TV? Because it gives the network the shock value that sells, and provides society something (or someone) to laugh at.

So what about those men that have actually considered what it would be like wearing women’s intimates, but didn’t dare to even explore it due to the fear of what society thinks about it, but even more important, what his wife or girlfriend would think of him. It could completely change how she sees him. She might see him as something less than a man, or somehow perverted to even want to do it. Most men wouldn’t be able to live with that, so they never even dare explore it. Even if they secretly fantasize about what it would be like, they would never do it, or ever share their fantasies about it, especially with their wife or girlfriend. Not ever. That’s too bad.

The relationship we have with our spouse (or significant other) should be our ‘Safe Place’. That one person that we can trust 100% with our interests and even our fantasies. Someplace where we can share and discuss openly our desires, even our most secret desires and fantasies without the risk of being judged, frowned on, laughed at, or ridiculed. Indeed, it is too bad that most relationships are less than 100% safe. There exists no ‘Safe Place’ for these men.

I don’t have any data to support this, but I would climb out on a limb and say that a fairly sizable population of men have thought about it at some point, but never dared to act on it, let alone share it with anyone. He can’t share it, even with someone that is supposed to be his ‘Safe Place’. I believe, if it ever HAS crossed his mind, then I argue he has considered the idea to be potentially exciting. If it wasn’t, it never would have occurred to him in the first place.

For you women, would you ever consider asking your hubby to put on a pair of your panties? Or a pair of your stockings or other articles of lingerie? Are you afraid of what he would think of you? Maybe? Or are you concerned what you might think of him if he actually agrees to your offer. I would venture a guess that your mate would be more willing to try things with you if they were your idea.

I’m suggesting, perhaps, you wouldn’t ever consider this because you actually DO see it as something that is ‘not normal’, and this would indeed change how you see him. Again, too bad.

I can assure you, he wouldn’t consider you less of a woman for asking, or that you are somehow twisted for wanting him to wear something for you in the privacy of your own bedroom. Not at all. Has he asked you to wear something special in the bedroom? Did you think less of him for asking? His fear would be to actually take you up on it and risk having you view him as something less than a man, or as ‘not normal’. And if you would never ask him to wear lingerie because you DO see it as not normal, he would be right, and there really is no ‘Safe Place’ for him.

So he continues to live with this secret, never daring to explore it. He thinks it might be fun, and even sexually exciting, especially if he had someone to share it with. For his entire life, he has been programmed to see lingerie as sexy and exciting, but will never explore it for himself if he thinks it might cost him the trust of the one he loves most.

For myself, I am a 64 year old widow. I was married 40 years (to the same loving man), and I regret that it never occurred to me that he might have enjoyed wearing some of my intimates. Now I fall into the camp that it sounds fun, even a little naughty, but I hope I would have enjoyed that HE enjoyed it and would never have considered him less of a man.

Thank you!!! This was a great post to read. I really appreciate it.

It's true in my case in so many ways.

Well thought out and provocative, hits home in places

 

[Big4Wheeler]

Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us.

 

[Autumn1992]

Great insight and thank you for sharing. Coming from a lingerie lover I think lingerie in general is perceived wrong by a lot of people. The general perception for most lingerie is it is something we are buying to seduce our men or lovers and have sex. Now I think my husband is like most men or lovers in general and when it comes time to get playful we are all in a hurry to get each other naked for the most part. So why spend money on something I am going to flash my husband for maybe a few minutes and then it's on the floor? The answer is I buy lingerie for me, not for him. True I do share my fun purchases with my husband but I love the way lingerie makes me feel. Wearing it around the house, on vacation, even underneath the clothes people seen me in make me feel amazing and fun and sexy. I think it helps to reinforce self confidence, positive body imaging and just being fun. So I consider it to be self love.

Now I do have to apologize to men when it comes to clothes, you guys got the short end of the stick. We have so many more options from professional wear, to underwear, to jeans and a sweater even. We even have more options when it comes to colors. Yes a lot of this comes from what society expects of us as genders. I do out in baggy jeans and a tee and no one bats an eyes but if a man wears a low cut pink tee and some flattering jeans the judgments won't stop. So when we have lingerie to remind us that we are sexy and great women what do men have? Silk boxers? I have seen male thongs at the store so maybe they work as well. Maybe there should be a lingerie market for men to feel good about themselves and sexy and maybe we shouldn't be so judgmental of a man wearing lace. Men should get to feel good as well.

Sex and society is a constant battle that progression is going so much slower. I mean look at all the advancements we have made in medicine, technology, science, art, and so many more areas. However most people still fully expect marriage to be a man and a woman, married in a church, sex after marriage, missionary, and please keep as much of it behind closed doors as possible. In all this time why can we not admit that humans are sexual beings? What is the issues with men loving men, and women loving women? Why can't the woman be the assertive one and the man be more docile and be fine with that? What if she wants to work and he wants to stay home and take care of the kids? What if three people are all in love with each other?

My hope is that as we move forward at some point we can just all be more accepting of people in general without the judgments or negativity. Be happy some people found love, be happy others had a good night with each other, congratulate a man on buying some fun underwear that make him feel awesome, celebrate that woman taking care of her family financially, respect that man raising his kids or whatever roles we choose in life.

 

[falkor207]

Great insight and thank you for sharing. Coming from a lingerie lover I think lingerie in general is perceived wrong by a lot of people. The general perception for most lingerie is it is something we are buying to seduce our men or lovers and have sex. Now I think my husband is like most men or lovers in general and when it comes time to get playful we are all in a hurry to get each other naked for the most part. So why spend money on something I am going to flash my husband for maybe a few minutes and then it's on the floor? The answer is I buy lingerie for me, not for him. True I do share my fun purchases with my husband but I love the way lingerie makes me feel. Wearing it around the house, on vacation, even underneath the clothes people seen me in make me feel amazing and fun and sexy. I think it helps to reinforce self confidence, positive body imaging and just being fun. So I consider it to be self love.

Now I do have to apologize to men when it comes to clothes, you guys got the short end of the stick. We have so many more options from professional wear, to underwear, to jeans and a sweater even. We even have more options when it comes to colors. Yes a lot of this comes from what society expects of us as genders. I do out in baggy jeans and a tee and no one bats an eyes but if a man wears a low cut pink tee and some flattering jeans the judgments won't stop. So when we have lingerie to remind us that we are sexy and great women what do men have? Silk boxers? I have seen male thongs at the store so maybe they work as well. Maybe there should be a lingerie market for men to feel good about themselves and sexy and maybe we shouldn't be so judgmental of a man wearing lace. Men should get to feel good as well.

Sex and society is a constant battle that progression is going so much slower. I mean look at all the advancements we have made in medicine, technology, science, art, and so many more areas. However most people still fully expect marriage to be a man and a woman, married in a church, sex after marriage, missionary, and please keep as much of it behind closed doors as possible. In all this time why can we not admit that humans are sexual beings? What is the issues with men loving men, and women loving women? Why can't the woman be the assertive one and the man be more docile and be fine with that? What if she wants to work and he wants to stay home and take care of the kids? What if three people are all in love with each other?

My hope is that as we move forward at some point we can just all be more accepting of people in general without the judgments or negativity. Be happy some people found love, be happy others had a good night with each other, congratulate a man on buying some fun underwear that make him feel awesome, celebrate that woman taking care of her family financially, respect that man raising his kids or whatever roles we choose in life.

Very well put. Life is ours to live how we see fit.

 

[mrsrobinsonxx]

Great insight and thank you for sharing. Coming from a lingerie lover I think lingerie in general is perceived wrong by a lot of people. The general perception for most lingerie is it is something we are buying to seduce our men or lovers and have sex. Now I think my husband is like most men or lovers in general and when it comes time to get playful we are all in a hurry to get each other naked for the most part. So why spend money on something I am going to flash my husband for maybe a few minutes and then it's on the floor? The answer is I buy lingerie for me, not for him. True I do share my fun purchases with my husband but I love the way lingerie makes me feel. Wearing it around the house, on vacation, even underneath the clothes people seen me in make me feel amazing and fun and sexy. I think it helps to reinforce self confidence, positive body imaging and just being fun. So I consider it to be self love.

Now I do have to apologize to men when it comes to clothes, you guys got the short end of the stick. We have so many more options from professional wear, to underwear, to jeans and a sweater even. We even have more options when it comes to colors. Yes a lot of this comes from what society expects of us as genders. I do out in baggy jeans and a tee and no one bats an eyes but if a man wears a low cut pink tee and some flattering jeans the judgments won't stop. So when we have lingerie to remind us that we are sexy and great women what do men have? Silk boxers? I have seen male thongs at the store so maybe they work as well. Maybe there should be a lingerie market for men to feel good about themselves and sexy and maybe we shouldn't be so judgmental of a man wearing lace. Men should get to feel good as well.

Sex and society is a constant battle that progression is going so much slower. I mean look at all the advancements we have made in medicine, technology, science, art, and so many more areas. However most people still fully expect marriage to be a man and a woman, married in a church, sex after marriage, missionary, and please keep as much of it behind closed doors as possible. In all this time why can we not admit that humans are sexual beings? What is the issues with men loving men, and women loving women? Why can't the woman be the assertive one and the man be more docile and be fine with that? What if she wants to work and he wants to stay home and take care of the kids? What if three people are all in love with each other?

My hope is that as we move forward at some point we can just all be more accepting of people in general without the judgments or negativity. Be happy some people found love, be happy others had a good night with each other, congratulate a man on buying some fun underwear that make him feel awesome, celebrate that woman taking care of her family financially, respect that man raising his kids or whatever roles we choose in life.

In my profession as a solicitor/lawyer, I do have to dress appropriately. But underneath is my domain, as it were. I wear sexy underwear, the attraction enhanced by it being my secret. Well, mine and my husband's and maybe a couple of very close friends. So, yes, I do wear such underwear for me, but, I do appreciate the effect it has on them, and most certainly enjoy the benefits.

 

[IASFPWTF]

Very interesting!

 

[Handeguy]

I don't really want to wear my wife's panties, but I do love to play with them in all kinds of ways. We've been married for 30 years, and until recently, I always hid my fetish for her undies. But, a couple of months ago as we were playing, I got so horny that I just couldn't hold back. I grabbed her worn panties off the bed, brought them to my nose, and then started to rub my cock with them. She found it incredibly arousing! I only wish I had done it sooner. Now during foreplay, she sometimes goes back to me, snuggles her ass up next to my cock, and slides my cock up between her panties and her ass. Drives me wild!

 

[LannaLace]

Great insight and thank you for sharing. Coming from a lingerie lover I think lingerie in general is perceived wrong by a lot of people. The general perception for most lingerie is it is something we are buying to seduce our men or lovers and have sex. Now I think my husband is like most men or lovers in general and when it comes time to get playful we are all in a hurry to get each other naked for the most part. So why spend money on something I am going to flash my husband for maybe a few minutes and then it's on the floor? The answer is I buy lingerie for me, not for him. True I do share my fun purchases with my husband but I love the way lingerie makes me feel. Wearing it around the house, on vacation, even underneath the clothes people seen me in make me feel amazing and fun and sexy. I think it helps to reinforce self confidence, positive body imaging and just being fun. So I consider it to be self love.

Now I do have to apologize to men when it comes to clothes, you guys got the short end of the stick. We have so many more options from professional wear, to underwear, to jeans and a sweater even. We even have more options when it comes to colors. Yes a lot of this comes from what society expects of us as genders. I do out in baggy jeans and a tee and no one bats an eyes but if a man wears a low cut pink tee and some flattering jeans the judgments won't stop. So when we have lingerie to remind us that we are sexy and great women what do men have? Silk boxers? I have seen male thongs at the store so maybe they work as well. Maybe there should be a lingerie market for men to feel good about themselves and sexy and maybe we shouldn't be so judgmental of a man wearing lace. Men should get to feel good as well.

Sex and society is a constant battle that progression is going so much slower. I mean look at all the advancements we have made in medicine, technology, science, art, and so many more areas. However most people still fully expect marriage to be a man and a woman, married in a church, sex after marriage, missionary, and please keep as much of it behind closed doors as possible. In all this time why can we not admit that humans are sexual beings? What is the issues with men loving men, and women loving women? Why can't the woman be the assertive one and the man be more docile and be fine with that? What if she wants to work and he wants to stay home and take care of the kids? What if three people are all in love with each other?

My hope is that as we move forward at some point we can just all be more accepting of people in general without the judgments or negativity. Be happy some people found love, be happy others had a good night with each other, congratulate a man on buying some fun underwear that make him feel awesome, celebrate that woman taking care of her family financially, respect that man raising his kids or whatever roles we choose in life.

Thank you…. Bang on …on so many levels!!!

 

[LannaLace]

This may be a little long, but while I was writing my series of stories, I had to take a side road and write this .... Some may call B.S. on this, and that's fine.
- - - - -
From our early years, boys are programmed to think of lingerie as “sex”. There’s probably no such thing as sexy lingerie. ALL lingerie is intended to be sexy. The extent of the sexiness is formed within our own minds as we mature. What one person thinks is sexy, another might consider clownish. Our own tastes, likes, dislikes are uniquely formed as we grow up and mature.

This is true with just about everything, cars, homes, cell phones, etc. Our personal taste (and sometimes our wallets), makes a lot of our decisions and there are manufacturers trying every day to find YOUR personal taste that translates into revenue for them. So who is the ultimate target consumer of lingerie? That’s easy… men.

That’s not to say lingerie isn’t for women as well. After all, if a woman didn’t ‘feel’ sexy wearing lingerie, she wouldn’t. Her whole objective is to 1) feel sexy, and 2) to be desired by a man (which in turn makes her feel sexy. Interesting circle!).

That’s pretty much it. If a man didn’t find her sexy or desirable wearing it, she wouldn’t feel sexy and therefore wouldn’t wear it and would change to something that her significant other does like. If lingerie didn’t have this effect on men (and women), there wouldn’t be whole industries built around it to the tune of $9 billion/year – with a growth of 5.5% over the last five years. Lingerie = sex = revenue. Like the saying goes, ‘sex sells’!

I believe this is the root of most male crossdressing. The extent that a man fantasizes about wearing women’s clothes varies, but the core of it still comes down to one simple explanation … sex.

Some men try to completely transform by dressing up with wig, makeup, lingerie, a dress, shoes. Head to toe, even wearing prosthetic breasts, they try to make themselves feel like and even try to live as a woman would, which might be diagnosed as gender dysphoria (gender identity disorder).

Some may like to just wear women’s panties or other female intimates like stockings, nitegowns, babydolls, etc, which for him brings the items of the fetish closer to his own sex, and thereby making him feel sexy and somewhat naughty because of the social taboo surrounding it. The psychiatric diagnosis for this activity is called transvestic fetishism.

But just wearing lingerie really doesn’t qualify as transvestic fetishism unless there are other factors; 1)individuals must be sexually aroused from the crossdressing, AND 2) must experience significant distress or impairment from the behavior. Also being a fetish, there is no sexual satisfaction / gratification without the fetish object being present. So to practice this with your mate in the privacy of your bedroom, sure, a man would become sexually aroused, but that is about where it ends and we wouldn’t even consider this fetish unless he / she MUST have the object present for his / her sexual gratification.

Both of these, gender dysphoria and transvestic fetishism falls outside the socially expected norm for the gender. There is a stigma that society has placed around men that wear women’s clothing, to any extent, and it isn’t good. Pervert, homosexual, sick, etc. But most people don’t realize that even transvestic fetishism is benign and almost exclusively practiced by heterosexual men. But the stigma of being thought of as a pervert or homosexual prevents most men from ever exploring the possibility of trying it, even to the smallest extent.

We see videos on TV of a police officer pulling over a driver for some routine traffic offense, and when the man gets out of his car, the police dash-cam shows a man, wearing woman’s clothing, sometimes from head to toe, or may simply be wearing a skirt and stockings. Society is shocked at the sight. Right? Why else would they show a boring and otherwise routine traffic stop on national TV? Because it gives the network the shock value that sells, and provides society something (or someone) to laugh at.

So what about those men that have actually considered what it would be like wearing women’s intimates, but didn’t dare to even explore it due to the fear of what society thinks about it, but even more important, what his wife or girlfriend would think of him. It could completely change how she sees him. She might see him as something less than a man, or somehow perverted to even want to do it. Most men wouldn’t be able to live with that, so they never even dare explore it. Even if they secretly fantasize about what it would be like, they would never do it, or ever share their fantasies about it, especially with their wife or girlfriend. Not ever. That’s too bad.

The relationship we have with our spouse (or significant other) should be our ‘Safe Place’. That one person that we can trust 100% with our interests and even our fantasies. Someplace where we can share and discuss openly our desires, even our most secret desires and fantasies without the risk of being judged, frowned on, laughed at, or ridiculed. Indeed, it is too bad that most relationships are less than 100% safe. There exists no ‘Safe Place’ for these men.

I don’t have any data to support this, but I would climb out on a limb and say that a fairly sizable population of men have thought about it at some point, but never dared to act on it, let alone share it with anyone. He can’t share it, even with someone that is supposed to be his ‘Safe Place’. I believe, if it ever HAS crossed his mind, then I argue he has considered the idea to be potentially exciting. If it wasn’t, it never would have occurred to him in the first place.

For you women, would you ever consider asking your hubby to put on a pair of your panties? Or a pair of your stockings or other articles of lingerie? Are you afraid of what he would think of you? Maybe? Or are you concerned what you might think of him if he actually agrees to your offer. I would venture a guess that your mate would be more willing to try things with you if they were your idea.

I’m suggesting, perhaps, you wouldn’t ever consider this because you actually DO see it as something that is ‘not normal’, and this would indeed change how you see him. Again, too bad.

I can assure you, he wouldn’t consider you less of a woman for asking, or that you are somehow twisted for wanting him to wear something for you in the privacy of your own bedroom. Not at all. Has he asked you to wear something special in the bedroom? Did you think less of him for asking? His fear would be to actually take you up on it and risk having you view him as something less than a man, or as ‘not normal’. And if you would never ask him to wear lingerie because you DO see it as not normal, he would be right, and there really is no ‘Safe Place’ for him.

So he continues to live with this secret, never daring to explore it. He thinks it might be fun, and even sexually exciting, especially if he had someone to share it with. For his entire life, he has been programmed to see lingerie as sexy and exciting, but will never explore it for himself if he thinks it might cost him the trust of the one he loves most.

For myself, I am a 64 year old widow. I was married 40 years (to the same loving man), and I regret that it never occurred to me that he might have enjoyed wearing some of my intimates. Now I fall into the camp that it sounds fun, even a little naughty, but I hope I would have enjoyed that HE enjoyed it and would never have considered him less of a man.

Thank you …you don’t know how close you have touched my heart! If feels so good for someone, to understand, accept and appreciate our instinctive needs.

 

[Stoicbutfun]

This may be a little long, but while I was writing my series of stories, I had to take a side road and write this .... Some may call B.S. on this, and that's fine.
- - - - -
From our early years, boys are programmed to think of lingerie as “sex”. There’s probably no such thing as sexy lingerie. ALL lingerie is intended to be sexy. The extent of the sexiness is formed within our own minds as we mature. What one person thinks is sexy, another might consider clownish. Our own tastes, likes, dislikes are uniquely formed as we grow up and mature.

This is true with just about everything, cars, homes, cell phones, etc. Our personal taste (and sometimes our wallets), makes a lot of our decisions and there are manufacturers trying every day to find YOUR personal taste that translates into revenue for them. So who is the ultimate target consumer of lingerie? That’s easy… men.

That’s not to say lingerie isn’t for women as well. After all, if a woman didn’t ‘feel’ sexy wearing lingerie, she wouldn’t. Her whole objective is to 1) feel sexy, and 2) to be desired by a man (which in turn makes her feel sexy. Interesting circle!).

That’s pretty much it. If a man didn’t find her sexy or desirable wearing it, she wouldn’t feel sexy and therefore wouldn’t wear it and would change to something that her significant other does like. If lingerie didn’t have this effect on men (and women), there wouldn’t be whole industries built around it to the tune of $9 billion/year – with a growth of 5.5% over the last five years. Lingerie = sex = revenue. Like the saying goes, ‘sex sells’!

I believe this is the root of most male crossdressing. The extent that a man fantasizes about wearing women’s clothes varies, but the core of it still comes down to one simple explanation … sex.

Some men try to completely transform by dressing up with wig, makeup, lingerie, a dress, shoes. Head to toe, even wearing prosthetic breasts, they try to make themselves feel like and even try to live as a woman would, which might be diagnosed as gender dysphoria (gender identity disorder).

Some may like to just wear women’s panties or other female intimates like stockings, nitegowns, babydolls, etc, which for him brings the items of the fetish closer to his own sex, and thereby making him feel sexy and somewhat naughty because of the social taboo surrounding it. The psychiatric diagnosis for this activity is called transvestic fetishism.

But just wearing lingerie really doesn’t qualify as transvestic fetishism unless there are other factors; 1)individuals must be sexually aroused from the crossdressing, AND 2) must experience significant distress or impairment from the behavior. Also being a fetish, there is no sexual satisfaction / gratification without the fetish object being present. So to practice this with your mate in the privacy of your bedroom, sure, a man would become sexually aroused, but that is about where it ends and we wouldn’t even consider this fetish unless he / she MUST have the object present for his / her sexual gratification.

Both of these, gender dysphoria and transvestic fetishism falls outside the socially expected norm for the gender. There is a stigma that society has placed around men that wear women’s clothing, to any extent, and it isn’t good. Pervert, homosexual, sick, etc. But most people don’t realize that even transvestic fetishism is benign and almost exclusively practiced by heterosexual men. But the stigma of being thought of as a pervert or homosexual prevents most men from ever exploring the possibility of trying it, even to the smallest extent.

We see videos on TV of a police officer pulling over a driver for some routine traffic offense, and when the man gets out of his car, the police dash-cam shows a man, wearing woman’s clothing, sometimes from head to toe, or may simply be wearing a skirt and stockings. Society is shocked at the sight. Right? Why else would they show a boring and otherwise routine traffic stop on national TV? Because it gives the network the shock value that sells, and provides society something (or someone) to laugh at.

So what about those men that have actually considered what it would be like wearing women’s intimates, but didn’t dare to even explore it due to the fear of what society thinks about it, but even more important, what his wife or girlfriend would think of him. It could completely change how she sees him. She might see him as something less than a man, or somehow perverted to even want to do it. Most men wouldn’t be able to live with that, so they never even dare explore it. Even if they secretly fantasize about what it would be like, they would never do it, or ever share their fantasies about it, especially with their wife or girlfriend. Not ever. That’s too bad.

The relationship we have with our spouse (or significant other) should be our ‘Safe Place’. That one person that we can trust 100% with our interests and even our fantasies. Someplace where we can share and discuss openly our desires, even our most secret desires and fantasies without the risk of being judged, frowned on, laughed at, or ridiculed. Indeed, it is too bad that most relationships are less than 100% safe. There exists no ‘Safe Place’ for these men.

I don’t have any data to support this, but I would climb out on a limb and say that a fairly sizable population of men have thought about it at some point, but never dared to act on it, let alone share it with anyone. He can’t share it, even with someone that is supposed to be his ‘Safe Place’. I believe, if it ever HAS crossed his mind, then I argue he has considered the idea to be potentially exciting. If it wasn’t, it never would have occurred to him in the first place.

For you women, would you ever consider asking your hubby to put on a pair of your panties? Or a pair of your stockings or other articles of lingerie? Are you afraid of what he would think of you? Maybe? Or are you concerned what you might think of him if he actually agrees to your offer. I would venture a guess that your mate would be more willing to try things with you if they were your idea.

I’m suggesting, perhaps, you wouldn’t ever consider this because you actually DO see it as something that is ‘not normal’, and this would indeed change how you see him. Again, too bad.

I can assure you, he wouldn’t consider you less of a woman for asking, or that you are somehow twisted for wanting him to wear something for you in the privacy of your own bedroom. Not at all. Has he asked you to wear something special in the bedroom? Did you think less of him for asking? His fear would be to actually take you up on it and risk having you view him as something less than a man, or as ‘not normal’. And if you would never ask him to wear lingerie because you DO see it as not normal, he would be right, and there really is no ‘Safe Place’ for him.

So he continues to live with this secret, never daring to explore it. He thinks it might be fun, and even sexually exciting, especially if he had someone to share it with. For his entire life, he has been programmed to see lingerie as sexy and exciting, but will never explore it for himself if he thinks it might cost him the trust of the one he loves most.

For myself, I am a 64 year old widow. I was married 40 years (to the same loving man), and I regret that it never occurred to me that he might have enjoyed wearing some of my intimates. Now I fall into the camp that it sounds fun, even a little naughty, but I hope I would have enjoyed that HE enjoyed it and would never have considered him less of a man.

Lovely thought provoking post. I was asked by a girlfriend to arrive at her house dressed in panties and sheer hold ups. I must admit I did drive very carefully to avoid having to explain anything to a policeman or hospital attendant but seriously it felt very sexy. The effect on her was incredible we had the most amazing sex, so would I do it again, for sure! Love to chat with you or anyone interested on the subject.

 

[AlexBailey]

I’m a life long cross dresser. I don’t remember not wanting to wear the same things as my ice-skater sister, even long before puberty.

I think part of it was being a little brother and seeing the attention my sister and her friends would get when they were all dressed and cute. I lover their outfits and the way the moms braided their long hair…

I often followed my sister to theater and dance classes and performed as one of the girls. Some of the other parents thought my mom had two daughters.

As I got older my dad, and later my stepfather put an end it, insisted my mom keep my hair short and that I hang out with other boys. I was okay for the most part but I felt left out and ugly when my sister got to perform and practice with her friends.

Though I had lots of friends and did typical boy stuff I always felt drab and out of place among the guys,

In my high school senior year I had a girlfriend who was captain of the cheer squad. Our school had an event where the girls dressed down in football gear (American) and played a game in the stadium one Friday night. My gf and some of her squad dressed me and a couple of other guys in their cheerleading uniforms for the whole day at school and the game at night. It’s one of my favorite memories ever.

I’m sure it helped that my gf was a beautiful queen bee type, but I got almost nothing but good energy from everyone, even the football jocks.

My gf liked to pretend that I was her cheer squad sister and liked it when I wore her stuff when we were alone together.


For me cross dressing is both casually comfortable and a ‘kink’. It’s not quite a ‘fetish’, because I still enjoy sexuality without it. I have met many women who like CD men, including one who organizes a monthly cross dresser night.

 

[stargame]

Thank you mom for understanding all this.
I have always wore girl panties and for a long time did not know it might be a little strange. Now I always wear cute panties and don't even own guy underwear. As of lingerie, I actually love the feeling of the fabrics and the colors, guy clothes are so boring.

 

[stargame]

Great insight and thank you for sharing. Coming from a lingerie lover I think lingerie in general is perceived wrong by a lot of people. The general perception for most lingerie is it is something we are buying to seduce our men or lovers and have sex. Now I think my husband is like most men or lovers in general and when it comes time to get playful we are all in a hurry to get each other naked for the most part. So why spend money on something I am going to flash my husband for maybe a few minutes and then it's on the floor? The answer is I buy lingerie for me, not for him. True I do share my fun purchases with my husband but I love the way lingerie makes me feel. Wearing it around the house, on vacation, even underneath the clothes people seen me in make me feel amazing and fun and sexy. I think it helps to reinforce self confidence, positive body imaging and just being fun. So I consider it to be self love.

Now I do have to apologize to men when it comes to clothes, you guys got the short end of the stick. We have so many more options from professional wear, to underwear, to jeans and a sweater even. We even have more options when it comes to colors. Yes a lot of this comes from what society expects of us as genders. I do out in baggy jeans and a tee and no one bats an eyes but if a man wears a low cut pink tee and some flattering jeans the judgments won't stop. So when we have lingerie to remind us that we are sexy and great women what do men have? Silk boxers? I have seen male thongs at the store so maybe they work as well. Maybe there should be a lingerie market for men to feel good about themselves and sexy and maybe we shouldn't be so judgmental of a man wearing lace. Men should get to feel good as well.

Sex and society is a constant battle that progression is going so much slower. I mean look at all the advancements we have made in medicine, technology, science, art, and so many more areas. However most people still fully expect marriage to be a man and a woman, married in a church, sex after marriage, missionary, and please keep as much of it behind closed doors as possible. In all this time why can we not admit that humans are sexual beings? What is the issues with men loving men, and women loving women? Why can't the woman be the assertive one and the man be more docile and be fine with that? What if she wants to work and he wants to stay home and take care of the kids? What if three people are all in love with each other?

My hope is that as we move forward at some point we can just all be more accepting of people in general without the judgments or negativity. Be happy some people found love, be happy others had a good night with each other, congratulate a man on buying some fun underwear that make him feel awesome, celebrate that woman taking care of her family financially, respect that man raising his kids or whatever roles we choose in life.

You are so right, men did get the short end of wearing nice things.

 

[Midsmale69]

In my profession as a solicitor/lawyer, I do have to dress appropriately. But underneath is my domain, as it were. I wear sexy underwear, the attraction enhanced by it being my secret. Well, mine and my husband's and maybe a couple of very close friends. So, yes, I do wear such underwear for me, but, I do appreciate the effect it has on them, and most certainly enjoy the benefits.

The sexiest combination as far as I am concerned is smart office wear with classy killer lingerie, stockings and heels.....does it for me every time!

 

[mrsrobinsonxx]

The sexiest combination as far as I am concerned is smart office wear with classy killer lingerie, stockings and heels.....does it for me every time!

I don't want to show my stocking tops, I do find that a little tarty. To avoid that, I keep the straps as short as possible, keeping the tops hidden. I'm more inclined to wear a pencil skirt, or something similarly snug fitting on my bottom, without a waist slip, so the clasps (bumps) are faintly visible. The extremely low-denier RHT nylons, I wear, will always direct the connoisseur to take a closer look for the "bumps" anyway.

 

[Midsmale69]

I don't want to show my stocking tops, I do find that a little tarty. To avoid that, I keep the straps as short as possible, keeping the tops hidden. I'm more inclined to wear a pencil skirt, or something similarly snug fitting on my bottom, without a waist slip, so the clasps (bumps) are faintly visible. The extremely low-denier RHT nylons, I wear, will always direct the connoisseur to take a closer look for the "bumps" anyway.

Sheer black stockings every time....I became hooked after enjoying an older colleague who shared a very similar style to you whilst I was in my late 20s..... The "reveal" is an experience which is lost when the outerwear is not subtle. Pencil skirt or shift dress, sheer silk blouse or right sweater

 

[mrsrobinsonxx]

Sheer black stockings every time....I became hooked after enjoying an older colleague who shared a very similar style to you whilst I was in my late 20s..... The "reveal" is an experience which is lost when the outerwear is not subtle. Pencil skirt or shift dress, sheer silk blouse or right sweater

I do like to wear sheer blouses, but, of course, I do keep my jacket on. I may unbutton it but that's the limit. Just a little glimpse of bra.

 

[Midsmale69]

I do like to wear sheer blouses, but, of course, I do keep my jacket on. I may unbutton it but that's the limit. Just a little glimpse of bra.

That glimpse is so erotic....less really is more in the early stages of seduction

 

[mrsrobinsonxx]

That glimpse is so erotic....less really is more in the early stages of seduction

I do have several blouses, completely sheer at the back, but with panels, or pockets, hiding the cups of my bra, at the front. I have discarded my jacket while I'm wearing one of that style. Again, looks ever so innocent, but the viewer's getting a really detailed view of what is, in effect, my underwear.

 

[Midsmale69]

I do have several blouses, completely sheer at the back, but with panels, or pockets, hiding the cups of my bra, at the front. I have discarded my jacket while I'm wearing one of that style. Again, looks ever so innocent, but the viewer's getting a really detailed view of what is, in effect, my underwear.

Subtle and sexy ..

 

[PleaseLetMeIm]

I do have several blouses, completely sheer at the back, but with panels, or pockets, hiding the cups of my bra, at the front. I have discarded my jacket while I'm wearing one of that style. Again, looks ever so innocent, but the viewer's getting a really detailed view of what is, in effect, my underwear.

Even the descriptions of your classy, but sexy, dress is arousing. To see it must be a whole new level of excitement