Someone needed to read the beginning of a story

[RachelPost]

I am working on a story with a power reversal. It involves lesbian surrender. A political candidate submits to an intern. It's not really D/s, more about control and surrender. It's not about pain, abuse, or violence. Right now, it's only an introduction to the characters, the setting of the stage, and the first sexual encounter. The story is told from the intern's first-person point of view. It's just short of 2000 words as of this moment. So nowhere close to being complete.

What I am looking for is not a copy editor, grammar and punctuation can get fixed at a later date. I just need someone to tell me if the opening of this story is any good. Please let me know if you are willing to help. If you are, let me know what format to use for the document.

I have experience writing professional works like journal articles. I am not very experienced with writing erotica. I just have this story in my head that begs to be told.

Rachel

 

[HeyAll]

Sure, message me if you'd think I'd be a right fit. The story concept is hot.

 

[RachelPost]

How should I send you the story?

 

[yukonnights]

I think HeyAll is asking you to send him a Private Message here on Literotica. These are now called "Conversations", so if you haven't already enabled them you need to go into your settings and allow Conversations.

 

[RachelPost]

Thanks yukonnights. I have been in contact with him.

 

[LongDraw]

Sure, message me if you'd think I'd be a right fit. The story concept is hot.

Once you've helped the OP out, would you mind reading what I have so far on my novel, VY ~53K words atm?

I think I'm running into an issue of my two editors not being open to the categories the story is grazing.

I can PM you a share link if you are willing.

 

[HeyAll]

Once you've helped the OP out, would you mind reading what I have so far on my novel, VY ~53K words atm?

I think I'm running into an issue of my two editors not being open to the categories the story is grazing.

I can PM you a share link if you are willing.

Thanks for the message. That amount of content is far too much for me. I don't have enough time.

I'd be fine looking at an excepert if you needed.

 

[LongDraw]

Okay, let me finish writing the wedding scene in one of my chapters and I'll send you the link.

Thanks