random musings

[KimGordon67]

I think one of the best things my therapist taught me was to give myself the same generosity and forgiveness that I extend to everyone else. It's quite hard to do, but I'm getting better at it.

 

[ultramarineblue]

Hey, umb.

I think one of the best things my therapist taught me was to give myself the same generosity and forgiveness that I extend to everyone else. It's quite hard to do, but I'm getting better at it.

I struggle with this all the time too. I have improved somewhat but I really still have a long way to go.

 

[ultramarineblue]

I had another rough few days but hopefully I'm over that for a while. I do a lot of stuff on top of my job and sometimes I get overwhelmed. This time my job was overwhelming. I had a situation where I was being recognized for being good at my job but also someone told me that I wasn't and I was feeling that I wasn't doing it well. I think a good session would help with that. I'm also possibly having a friendship end and that is never easy. Hopefully if it does end, we will end on good terms.

 

[ultramarineblue]

I thought I was ok with the friendship ending but it is really hard. One thinks I kept things from them when I didn't. I just didn't become radical in my beliefs. I have another friend that I think we are starting to part ways and with all of that change I feel pretty lost. They were all the people I went daily texts to and I don't have that now. I need a distraction but I need to be careful about that.

 

[seela]

I thought I was ok with the friendship ending but it is really hard. One thinks I kept things from them when I didn't. I just didn't become radical in my beliefs. I have another friend that I think we are starting to part ways and with all of that change I feel pretty lost. They were all the people I went daily texts to and I don't have that now. I need a distraction but I need to be careful about that.

Friendships ending is very hard, especially if you can feel the change coming but aren’t ready to give up just yet.

I’m all too familiar with the bolded bit. It’s easy to overcompensate in that situation.

 

[IrisAlthea]

I thought I was ok with the friendship ending but it is really hard. One thinks I kept things from them when I didn't. I just didn't become radical in my beliefs. I have another friend that I think we are starting to part ways and with all of that change I feel pretty lost. They were all the people I went daily texts to and I don't have that now. I need a distraction but I need to be careful about that.

It is difficult when relationships change and it hurts even when there are perfectly good reasons for the change.

 

[ultramarineblue]

Friendships ending is very hard, especially if you can feel the change coming but aren’t ready to give up just yet.

I’m all too familiar with the bolded bit. It’s easy to overcompensate in that situation.

It is difficult when relationships change and it hurts even when there are perfectly good reasons for the change.

Thank you both so much. It's been hard but I'm trying to just focus on being present right now and not thinking about much deeply. I need to get some paperwork done this weekend and I hope that will help a lot.

 

[ultramarineblue]

I'm having trouble getting on here for some reason. I hope whatever is causing the issues is resolved soon. It may mean getting a new device.

I'm so tired lately. My job has become even more draining and I am starting to see that it might be a doomed career. It shouldn't be that way either. It should be so different but it's always what is blamed. I'm not really sure what to do.

 

[ultramarineblue]

I finally finished some stuff that I needed to do. I have several other things to work on but with the other stuff done I feel like I can accomplish more. I am so glad to be done surf that stuff though. I hope tomorrow will be good.

 

[Fingerfuxs]

I'm having trouble getting on here for some reason. I hope whatever is causing the issues is resolved soon. It may mean getting a new device.

I'm so tired lately. My job has become even more draining and I am starting to see that it might be a doomed career. It shouldn't be that way either. It should be so different but it's always what is blamed. I'm not really sure what to do.

focus

 

[ultramarineblue]

focus

Thank you!

.................

Things have been better lately. I need to let go some things so I can spend more time on others. I just remembered something I needed to do this weekend and haven't yet. It will be all good though.

 

[ultramarineblue]

I really want cuddles right now. It’s been so long.

 

[Fingerfuxs]

——-> * (((U))))

In a image, using emoji’s as props on a forum board ,

Best consumed with a sense of humor and knowing it was posted with sincerity

 

[ultramarineblue]

——-> * (((U))))

In a image, using emoji’s as props on a forum board ,

Best consumed with a sense of humor and knowing it was posted with sincerity

Thank you.

 

[ultramarineblue]

I’m avoiding doing a bit of work. It’s kind of at the point that I’m going to have to wing it all anyway so why try to do much beforehand. It will all still turn out ok. Tomorrow is another day to get it together. I’m in a good mood though so that is really good. Sinus pressure sucks though.

 

[ultramarineblue]

I have that, too, and I don’t Neti. Makes me feel so cloudy.

I just cannot Neti. I think I need to do some major cleaning and that will help after I get over the dust being stirred up some.

 

[ultramarineblue]

Sometimes I want cuddles. Sometimes I want just good sex. Other times I just want some attention.

 

[ultramarineblue]

I missed an opportunity for a quick session yesterday. I’m not upset because I’m not feeling great. I’m not feeling particularly bad but just mostly tired. It still would have been nice. Hopefully sometime this week will work out but I’m not sure if that is a possibility on his end.

Things are good and I’m enjoying my Saturday night at home just relaxing.

 

[ultramarineblue]

I had a great session a couple of weeks ago. I’m a bit worried about my friend though.

 

[ultramarineblue]

I don’t feel very well. I’m glad it’s the weekend so I can rest.

 

[ultramarineblue]

After resting last night I feel much better. I realized I accidentally skipped medicine one night and that was probably part of the reason I wasn’t feeling well. I also heard from my friend and I’m so happy everything is ok. I try not to worry and usually do ok with that but it was a bit harder to this time.

 

[ultramarineblue]

For a long time I thought after care was an absolute requirement. I thought it should include cuddles, soft blankets, chocolate, water. Then I read somewhere about someone that didn’t need it. She would just as soon go out for a beer and a cheeseburger after then the quiet time that I thought it was supposed to be. From her other writings I could tell that she played pretty intensely too which confused me. Then I found myself seeing someone where we didn’t do that idea of after care I first thought was necessary and I found that I didn’t necessarily need it either. I love cuddling but it isn’t a requirement for a good time. We did something else instead. We messaged one another thought about it usually me sharing my thoughts first. That communication made things even better. No one else I’ve been with has really reached that level of communication. Those other experiences weren’t bad because of the lack of communication but they probably would have been even richer with it.

I also learned through different experiences that I prefer cuddles only with people that enjoy them. I don’t want them if you don’t want them too. I’m good with being done and meeting up again later when time works out. I don’t feel used in that situation generally.

It can be difficult to articulate the thoughts and emotions. However, that’s what I’d rather have. It doesn’t have to be deep, just honest. Things can change and being able to keep the communication open and clear is so important. It can become even more difficult especially if you think you might hurt someone’s feelings. You may not want to say it but it needs to be said because holding it in may lead to feelings hurt more intensely later.

 

[seela]

Nice to hear from you. Our paths haven’t really crossed lately.

And ditto, what Fara said above.

 

[IrisAlthea]

For a long time I thought after care was an absolute requirement. I thought it should include cuddles, soft blankets, chocolate, water. Then I read somewhere about someone that didn’t need it. She would just as soon go out for a beer and a cheeseburger after then the quiet time that I thought it was supposed to be. From her other writings I could tell that she played pretty intensely too which confused me. Then I found myself seeing someone where we didn’t do that idea of after care I first thought was necessary and I found that I didn’t necessarily need it either. I love cuddling but it isn’t a requirement for a good time. We did something else instead. We messaged one another thought about it usually me sharing my thoughts first. That communication made things even better. No one else I’ve been with has really reached that level of communication. Those other experiences weren’t bad because of the lack of communication but they probably would have been even richer with it.

I also learned through different experiences that I prefer cuddles only with people that enjoy them. I don’t want them if you don’t want them too. I’m good with being done and meeting up again later when time works out. I don’t feel used in that situation generally.

It can be difficult to articulate the thoughts and emotions. However, that’s what I’d rather have. It doesn’t have to be deep, just honest. Things can change and being able to keep the communication open and clear is so important. It can become even more difficult especially if you think you might hurt someone’s feelings. You may not want to say it but it needs to be said because holding it in may lead to feelings hurt more intensely later.

Yes, I remember when I started reading here how the chocholate and water etc was stressed like it had magical qualities. I had always liked just being together, talking and joking lightly, to come back to earth after intense stuff. Sometimes yearning for sleep and other times making pasta in the middle of the night.

A friend of mine used to meet a guy for scenes and they ate ice cream and watched old episodes of Friends before getting back to their regular lives.

Any way that helps you reconnect with whatever it is you need to find your way back to.

 

[ultramarineblue]

Aftercare looks different for us all.
Hey, umb.

So very true! Hey, Fara!

Nice to hear from you. Our paths haven’t really crossed lately.

And ditto, what Fara said above.

I’ve missed being around here lately but life got busy for a while.

Yes, I remember when I started reading here how the chocholate and water etc was stressed like it had magical qualities. I had always liked just being together, talking and joking lightly, to come back to earth after intense stuff. Sometimes yearning for sleep and other times making pasta in the middle of the night.

A friend of mine used to meet a guy for scenes and they ate ice cream and watched old episodes of Friends before getting back to their regular lives.

Any way that helps you reconnect with whatever it is you need to find your way back to.

I completely agree. I absolutely love chocolate but it isn’t always what I need. I think it’s important for people to find out that there are so many different ways to get where you need.