Question about identifying who is who after a body swap

[IsabellaEmily]

I'm writing a body swap story, which I've enjoyed immensely because it's given me a lot of challenges to work through with the plotting, structure, and so on.

However I have a serious question about how my fellow authors would refer to the characters.

Let me set up the question a bit.

It's written in a first person structure.

My main character is named Emily, and she's the narrator, and one of the four primary characters.

Emily is married to Xander.

They encounter and sexually swap partners with John and Jane.

While Xander is paired off with Jane, Emily is paired off with John.

John and Emily swap bodies.

In dialogue that occurs after the swap the four of them are talking.

Emily is in a male body.

John is in HER body.

How would you refer to John in a way that reminds readers that even though it's JOHN, he's in Emily's body?

I've been using something like this:

"Let's go to the movies." I said, still getting used to hearing the deep male voice come out of my mouth. "I want to see the new Star Wars movie."

"Sounds good to me!" said John-in-my-body. "I love science fiction."

Is John-in-my-body workable? Or too confusing?

What are my other options? Johninmybody? (looks jumbled and messy to me....like it's a typo)

Mybody? (Since I'm writing in first person there will be plenty of 'I said' moments in the conversations....is 'I said' and 'My body said' in the same conversation too confusing? Especially if Jane and Xander are also in the conversation?)

John/Me? SwappedEmily?

The plot/dialogue will not be confusing.....unless I don't use the least confusing way I can come up with to convey who is who during the conversations.

And this will be a science fiction type body swap. No amnesia or hypnosis making a character think they're someone else. They will literally be in each others bodies.

 

[LoquiSordidaAdMe]

Since it's a first person narrative, the reader always knows whose brain is telling the story no matter whose body the narrator is in, so that simplifies things a little. My advice is to look for the points in the story where the difference between the physical body and the mind inhabiting it is vital to the plot, and reinforce those points. Don't constantly pound on it through out. As the narrator becomes more comfortable with situation, so should your readers.

When you do need to reinforce that John, a man, is speaking from a woman's body, I think the "John-in-my-body" construction is a simple, elegant way to do it.

 

[IsabellaEmily]

When you do need to reinforce that John, a man, is speaking from a woman's body, I think the "John-in-my-body" construction is a simple, elegant way to do it.[/QUOTE]

Since this is the direction I'm leaning (it's how I'm writing it at the moment....but I'm always willing to edit to reflect gained wisdom) this makes me feel good.

Thank you!

 

[Bramblethorn]

Since it's a first person narrative, the reader always knows whose brain is telling the story no matter whose body the narrator is in, so that simplifies things a little. My advice is to look for the points in the story where the difference between the physical body and the mind inhabiting it is vital to the plot, and reinforce those points. Don't constantly pound on it through out. As the narrator becomes more comfortable with situation, so should your readers.

When you do need to reinforce that John, a man, is speaking from a woman's body, I think the "John-in-my-body" construction is a simple, elegant way to do it.

Agreed. Could be abbreviated slightly to "John-as-me"/"John-as-Emily" and so on, and after a few iterations I think readers would get used to it.

 

[AlinaX]

Ahh... Here's my Body Swap.

 

[TarnishedPenny]

OK, up-the-down-staircase, as usual.

I like the basic concept, but honestly think that ‘John-in-my-body’ risks seeming stilted.

How about the narrator musing on how odd it feels being in the body of the other/wrong sex? Something like: “I shifted my legs and became painfully aware of testicles being squished.” Or “I went to scratch an itch on my chest and was surprised to find a soft breast under my fingers.” That would make it clear that a swap had taken place.

 

[SimonDoom]

I don't see "John in my body" as necessary. It seems like surplus and unnecessary words to me.

If it's in first person POV, and the narrative is sufficiently clear, then "John" will do. The reader will understand exactly who is speaking and acting.

 

[Wifetheif]

I'm writing a body swap story, which I've enjoyed immensely because it's given me a lot of challenges to work through with the plotting, structure, and so on.

However I have a serious question about how my fellow authors would refer to the characters.

Let me set up the question a bit.

It's written in a first person structure.

My main character is named Emily, and she's the narrator, and one of the four primary characters.

Emily is married to Xander.

They encounter and sexually swap partners with John and Jane.

While Xander is paired off with Jane, Emily is paired off with John.

John and Emily swap bodies.

In dialogue that occurs after the swap the four of them are talking.

Emily is in a male body.

John is in HER body.

How would you refer to John in a way that reminds readers that even though it's JOHN, he's in Emily's body?

I've been using something like this:

"Let's go to the movies." I said, still getting used to hearing the deep male voice come out of my mouth. "I want to see the new Star Wars movie."

"Sounds good to me!" said John-in-my-body. "I love science fiction."

Is John-in-my-body workable? Or too confusing?

What are my other options? Johninmybody? (looks jumbled and messy to me....like it's a typo)

Mybody? (Since I'm writing in first person there will be plenty of 'I said' moments in the conversations....is 'I said' and 'My body said' in the same conversation too confusing? Especially if Jane and Xander are also in the conversation?)

John/Me? SwappedEmily?

The plot/dialogue will not be confusing.....unless I don't use the least confusing way I can come up with to convey who is who during the conversations.

And this will be a science fiction type body swap. No amnesia or hypnosis making a character think they're someone else. They will literally be in each others bodies.

Check out my story "The Turnabout Institute" Husband and wife go to resort. They swap bodies and wake up in their partner's body. The man wakes in a hospital room surrounded by female nurses. They give him a quick tutorial on being a woman and handling things like high heels. He and his wife, who is now in his body, are in different parts of the resort and are not permitted to see each other for three days. During that time, the husband (in wife's body) dresses in her sexy clothes, loses at strip poker, gets wicked drunk, and wakes up in her room naked. There is a used condom floating in the toilet bowl. His wife had similar experiences in his body but he does not know that until they meet up again. His wife confesses that she blew other guys. For the rest of their time there they have a blast including swapping with another consciousness-swapped couple.

 

[MColton84]

I don’t think that you have to do anything with the dialog to identify who is in who's body. Personally, I would mention the change periodically, even comment on how strange it feels to hear your voice speaking to you, or the difficulties involved occupying someone elses body. (Movement, differences in strength and weight, the differences in how they experience sexual activities. )