Poems of a Muslim Transgender 1

[Bigtitsbitch1000x]

My Love, My Lion, My Hajj


My love, my lion strides with courage and confidence –
He who the Muslim classics would call “the calamitous,”
“The strong-chested,” “the unbending sword,” “the conqueror,”
My Yemeni migrant, with the compass between his thighs

That I will follow and kiss like the Meccan Black Stone
Repeating each of his footsteps as if on hajj
–
Purified and virtuous, awaiting his cock
Erupting in my face, penetrating my ass

Rhythmically, like a fine Arabian stallion
Charging up the cliffs of my love’s native land –
Oh, let the Yemeni’s prick parade in my hills!
Innocent, he knows not the risk when he greets me –

He escaped a war, but will not evade my trap,
For I will make this lion roar as he pounds me,
Again and again, “long and hard and deep”
Until his jism floods me, and we sleep,

While I dream he’s shredded me with his bloody claws,
The wild beast, hidden in the heart of my love –
“A man in public, but a woman in private”
Deranged by passion, wherever it may lead us.

( . )( . )

 

[butters]

reminds me a little of something i'd find in the Faber Book of Blue Verse, perhaps shades of Verlaine.

it has an authentic—if not entirely original—flavour, with the warmth of cumin, bright spots of coriander, sweet and nutty notes like fruits and almonds... but overall it feels honest, no apologies offered and with love/obsession its overall palate.

i found the additional line-spacing something of a distraction to the initial reading and had to reread several times to compensate and sideline that. if you are posting directly from word, you can adjust that using the tool bar. if it was deliberate, then i fail to see it as beneficial.

 

[Angeline]

I agree with butters about the spacing. It distracts me.

It does feel authentic and straddles the line between sacred and profane well, much in the way Ginsburg does in some of his erotic poetry, like Please Master, for example. It celebrates the act of physical love like a religious rite. That's very good, imo.

Overall it covers a lot of ideas well, from erotic to romantic to personal info. It's pretty sophisticated writing which readers may overlook because of all the graphic content. There are some fine images and transitions, like comparing the hills of the lover's homeland to the geography of the body. Otoh it's a lot to cover in one relatively short poem, a lot to process.

I don't like "long and hard and deep." It may be accurate but it's so overused that it lands in your poem with a thud. I'd find a less cliched way to say it.

And while I think your use of punctuation is absolutely correct I feel like it distracts me. I struggle with this in my own writing. I think the poem would be stronger if you could work out a way to lose some of it.

I enjoyed reading it and giving you feedback. Thanks for sharing it.

 

[Bigtitsbitch1000x]

Thanks to both of you!

Redid the spacing.

I agree on "long and hard and deep."

I put it in quotes because it is a cliché.

I have two aims in using that trope.

First, to express the division in my personality between the romantic and the visceral. This goes to my whoring, though I don't understand it. I strive to be pretty, charming, even innocent, but also filthy beyond expectations. Not in speech, because I loathe vulgar talk, but in attitude.

I worked as a Barbie. The intention there is different; to be sugar and spice. Barbies are bimbos, not conniving cumsluts. Barbie sticks with Ken.

I desire to be irresistibly beautiful while being fucked by 100 sweaty, eager, heedless working class men who cum in my holes and on my face and hair silently, then depart without comment.

Second, is to experiment with a mix of clichéd and poetic language.

I am very grateful for your attention to these posts.

( . )( . )

 

[Wat_Tyler]

Gawd!!! A lit site acting all litty.


Who knew???

 

[Bigtitsbitch1000x]

reminds me a little of something i'd find in the Faber Book of Blue Verse, perhaps shades of Verlaine.

it has an authentic—if not entirely original—flavour, with the warmth of cumin, bright spots of coriander, sweet and nutty notes like fruits and almonds... but overall it feels honest, no apologies offered and with love/obsession its overall palate.

i found the additional line-spacing something of a distraction to the initial reading and had to reread several times to compensate and sideline that. if you are posting directly from word, you can adjust that using the tool bar. if it was deliberate, then i fail to see it as beneficial.

This post refers to my real life and the differing pen names/masks/personalities I assume. We'll see if I"m attacked.

Originality is a curious thing in literature.

I no longer seek it for its own sake, as I once did. Now I am satisfied to write verse that echoes the manners and even the idioms of my models:

Emerson, Dickinson, Whitman, Pound, Goddess Hurston, Joyce, Hugh MacDiarmid, Dylan Thomas, Patchen, Rexroth, Stevens, Lowell, Robert Duncan, Snyder, McClure in English;

The great French, Greek, and Czech Surrealists;

The Russian Acmeists Mandelshtam, Akhmatova, Tsvetayeva, and Pasternak;

Spanish, Catalan, and Portuguese modernists, including the Generations of '98 and '27; immortal Rubén Darío and Fernando Pessoa; J.V. Foix; the Latin Americans César Vallejo, Paz, the Nicaraguans Joaquín Pasos, Pablo Antonio Cuadra, Manolo Cuadra, and Coronel Urtecho; the poetic prose authors of the "Boom," and The Gay Cubans, Lezama Lima, Piñera, and Arenas;

Yugoslav and Albanian modernists, standing at a crossroads where Surrealism and romantic nationalism meet intelligently;

https://youtu.be/-eM5obp2fNs?si=poaXXL7LrSegYuta

Italian, Romanian, and Hungarian modernists, who introduced an element of Renaissance eloquence into the contemporary discourse.

To (unreliably) paraphrase Eliot, "good poets borrow; great poets steal."

I have, both inadvertently and intentionally, lifted from other poets. Sometimes I didn't realize it until later. But plagiarism isn't, if you admit the origin.

Again, I am extremely grateful to have found a place for such discussion.

( . )( . )

 

[Bigtitsbitch1000x]

Gawd!!! A lit site acting all litty.


Who knew???

Allah knew. Allah knows. The pen is dry.

( . )( . )

 

[Wat_Tyler]

Allah knew. Allah knows. The pen is dry.

( . )( . )

Ink, or pig???

 

[Bigtitsbitch1000x]

Ink, or pig???

Alqalam. The ink pen, in a fancy case. Pigskin cover? Hmmm.

( . )( . )

 

[Wat_Tyler]

Alqalam. The ink pen, in a fancy case. Pigskin cover? Hmmm.

( . )( . )

I disagree with the prophet about bacon.

 

[Bigtitsbitch1000x]

Wasn't the Prophet; was inherited from the Jews.

See Qur'an al-qerim 2:256; 109.

May God bless you on this Christian sabbath.

( . )( . )