Pmann wants to talk mental health

[Lord Pmann]

Now, a lot of my threads are mocking and making fun of things here at Lit. However, this one is a little different.

As I’ve scrolled through a lot of the threads recently, I notice a lot of talk about struggling to cope with life’s challenges and the inability to deal with anxiety. It seems to have reached troublesome levels and it’s more common than I recall in my 10 years here.

I was once of the opinion that people who couldn’t handle things were a bit soft around the edges and just needed to harden the fuck up. Some of that is true. However, it wasn’t until one point some years ago I dealt with some of my own issues that I realized, “Hey, this shit is real.” Fortunately, my struggles with those particular issues have come to an end and you have the well-adjusted specimen you see before you today. I only deal with CMS (chronic masturbatory syndrome) these days.

Looking around at recent threads, it’s easy to see the prevalence of mental issues that plague people to varying degrees. I think there is still quite a stigma that is attached to mental health, one to which I would’ve subscribed at one point. It’s unfair, as we wouldn’t judge someone’s physical inability to cope, yet we are quick to judge the mental issues.

At Lit people often don’t like each other or get easily annoyed with people. It’s true. Even I’ve done it. Some of you are real fuckwits. Nevertheless, you’re all people with real feelings. So if you see one of your friends here who struggles or posts something that might be a cry for help, check in on them. The worst thing that could happen is you interrupt their cyber-fucking flow. But your words may mean more to them than you know.

 

[hotwords229_A]

I think we’re stuck in a constant cycle. Too many people have some form of trauma in their past, leading to chaotic lives, leading to unhappy marriages and children, who then grow up to pass it along and it gets worse and worse . . . Unfortunately, we deal with it by giving in to our trauma, rather than fighting it so it never gets resolved.
*personal opinion trigger warning—too late*
I would like to see society teaching kids how to deal with trauma and emotions in a healthy, resolutionary (is that a word?) way that would help them overcome their problems. And if we all do that, then guess what? Problems (mostly) resolved. Happier people, better society.

I realize I’m an evil person for focusing on solutions rather than acknowledging emotion, but we really are fucking up the whole world by focusing on our emotions rather than actually fixing problems through common sense.

That’s why I’m looking into a career in Unibombing. It has all the reclusive aspects I’m looking for in a career, but the retirement package is pretty bad.

 

[AngelWithAShotgun]

I think we’re stuck in a constant cycle. Too many people have some form of trauma in their past, leading to chaotic lives, leading to unhappy marriages and children, who then grow up to pass it along and it gets worse and worse . . . Unfortunately, we deal with it by giving in to our trauma, rather than fighting it so it never gets resolved.
*personal opinion trigger warning—too late*
I would like to see society teaching kids how to deal with trauma and emotions in a healthy, resolutionary (is that a word?) way that would help them overcome their problems. And if we all do that, then guess what? Problems (mostly) resolved. Happier people, better society.

I realize I’m an evil person for focusing on solutions rather than acknowledging emotion, but we really are fucking up the whole world by focusing on our emotions rather than actually fixing problems through common sense.

That’s why I’m looking into a career in Unibombing. It has all the reclusive aspects I’m looking for in a career, but the retirement package is pretty bad.

Ah... you had me there up until the career choice. Personally, I'd pick a career in liberal arts. A reclusive billionaire, for example. Same aspirations, excellent retirement package

 

[AngelWithAShotgun]

View attachment 2159277

uhm... is it safe to google this?

 

[jaF0]

I'm nuts, so what?

 

[AngelWithAShotgun]

Nothing is safe on Lit. It’s all just a thinly veiled illusion.

On a scale of intriguing, disturbing or mind-fucking, where would the results likely fall though? o.o

 

[cascadiabound]

Seriously... thank you @Lord Pmann for pointing to this real issue. I agree... more people are struggling than ever in my life experience. I see it in my community, my family and my patients. I too see evidence of it here. A kind word, sending a PM to check on someone, these things have far more impact than we often know.
Maybe check in on someone you suspect is struggling today. Don't wait.

 

[Lord Pmann]

That’s why I’m looking into a career in Unibombing. It has all the reclusive aspects I’m looking for in a career, but the retirement package is pretty bad.

Have you considered a more profitable sector than unibombing? That’s ancient technology. I recommend duabombing or even trillabombing.

 

[AngelWithAShotgun]

Have you considered a more profitable sector than unibombing? That’s ancient technology. I recommend duabombing or even trillabombing.

Speaking of outdated tech... aren't we on autob now? Actually, they may even come up with something even better when Splatoon 3 comes out

 

[Mrtenant]

Have you considered a more profitable sector than unibombing? That’s ancient technology. I recommend duabombing or even trillabombing.

Should prolly stick with toilet bombing. I mean...much less collateral damage. Can't be a bad thing. Toilets are replaceable, people aren't.

*Note....upon reflection....To be fair, some people are worse than toilets, but, that's a different discussion.

 

[alwaysaway]

Seriously... thank you @Lord Pmann for pointing to this real issue I agree... more people are struggling than ever in my life experience and I see it in my community, my family and my patients. I too see evidence of it here too. A kind word, sending a PM to check on someone, these things have far more impact than we often know.
Maybe check in on someone you suspect is struggling today. Don't wait.

I agree. I believe the isolation and lockdowns imposed have seen the prevalence of mental illness sky rocket. It’s particularly evident in the number of known patients with pre-diagnosed mental illness presenting to hospital. The incidence of newly diagnosed mental illness in people has also risen. And, unfortunately, the suicide or attempted suicide numbers in my area have dramatically increased over the last 2 years in particular.

I think it is important to acknowledge that mental health and mental illness are not synonymous. Mental health refers to anyone’s mental and emotional well-being, and their ability to cope with the normal stresses of life. Mental illness affects how someone thinks, feels, behaves, and interacts with others.

As most people have acknowledged above; check in with people. And don’t be afraid to tell someone you’re struggling.

 

[hotwords229_A]

Have you considered a more profitable sector than unibombing? That’s ancient technology. I recommend duabombing or even trillabombing.

I’ll have to Ask Jeeves about these, I’m not familiar.

 

[Lord Pmann]

Seriously... thank you @Lord Pmann for pointing to this real issue I agree... more people are struggling than ever in my life experience and I see it in my community, my family and my patients. I too see evidence of it here too. A kind word, sending a PM to check on someone, these things have far more impact than we often know.
Maybe check in on someone you suspect is struggling today. Don't wait.

I do think it’s something that should be talked about openly. Not in the way some people do where they just make life miserable for everybody. But it’s okay to have mental health problems, just like it’s okay to have an allergy to peanuts or semen.

I like what HW said about teaching people to cope and solve problems, as well. Awareness is only half the battle; solving and learning to cope with the issues you have is the other half. But that’s coming from someone who aspires to be a reclusive bomber.

 

[Lord Pmann]

I’ll have to Ask Jeeves about these, I’m not familiar.

Send me your hotmail addy and I’ll forward you some stuff. I’ll be sure to keep it <2M.

 

[Trekka]

i had this big long post typed out and the i erased it. i wanna tell a story instead.

this thing happened to me several months ago, and it made me feel like “yeah, this is what the world needs more of.”

on my way to work, running late, it’s mid-some-covid-spike and im walking towards the gas station cash register to check out - and im in business casual.

little capris n pointy flats click clack. i just got out of an SUV.

at the same time, an older African American man, bearded, sinewy face, in a fluorescent vest and work boots - a utility worker, contractor, landscaper, not sure - is approaching the counter. clearly a hard working man.

it was one of those early moments of post-vaxxing, inconsistent demasking, run-in-real-quick and then you realize “oh! i forgot a mask! huh. shit i haven’t been indoors without a mask in forever. is it okay to breathe?! well, this is a novel feeling!” —> it was kind of a tense and contentious feeling time.

also there were significant current events involving race going on. more tension.

and here i am in my fancy pants, in the big money nabe where the ex hubs lives. this man and i get to the counter at the same time.

i am late and stressed out. ive also been fantasizing about walking off the job and into traffic.

this guy sees my badge around my neck and says ‘go ahead.’ there’s a little friendly ‘no you can go,’ ‘no you were here first,’ ‘are you sure?!’ etc… back and forth.

he let me go first.

as i paid, i thanked him profusely, told him i was late for work, long commute, needed air in tires, all the things.

and he asked me what i did. and where.

i told him. and he was a little surprised. and he said, “thank you. the world needs people with hearts like yours.”

and i got misty!

paid, thanked him, looked him in the eye, smiled, and casually, without thought, kind of instinctively, i touched his arm with my fingertips, and told him, “thank you, i really needed to hear that.”

and we wished each other good days.

it wasn’t until i got back in my car that i realized that that was the first time i had looked a stranger in the eye while sharing a visible smile, AND touched his arm, and he didn’t flinch, and our skin colors and dress didn’t matter.

it was the most normal moment of humanity i had shared with a stranger in over a year.

and during a tense time, where random interactions go sideways in a hurry, this moment made me think, “oh wow. this is what the whole world is missing.”

 

[jaF0]

I don't want to be inside.

I don't want to be outside.






I don't want to be.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

I don't want to be inside.

I don't want to be outside.






I don't want to be.

jaFO, I'm sorry you're hurting.

 

[*Twisted*]

Pman, thank you for this post. It's always worth remembering that we don't know what's going on with another person. I've lost loved ones to the effects of mental illness and addiction. The one thing I learned that I hadn't realized is that sometimes a person in the throws of a mental health crisis won't see reality the same way you see it. Sometimes that's OK, sometimes less so, but understanding that their reality is different than yours is more helpful to both you and them, then just saying "you're crazy".
Be kind to each other, and if you find that hard, at least don't be mean.

 

[jaF0]

Life stopped thirty years ago. Breathing continues.

 

[AngelWithAShotgun]

I find myself meandering through Bri's sanctuary whenever I'm struggling. So when I'm not, I try to share the joy over there too. Sort of like paying it forward, its a pretty good feeling either way.

 

[Apisto42]

I think we’re stuck in a constant cycle. Too many people have some form of trauma in their past, leading to chaotic lives, leading to unhappy marriages and children, who then grow up to pass it along and it gets worse and worse . . . Unfortunately, we deal with it by giving in to our trauma, rather than fighting it so it never gets resolved.
*personal opinion trigger warning—too late*
I would like to see society teaching kids how to deal with trauma and emotions in a healthy, resolutionary (is that a word?) way that would help them overcome their problems. And if we all do that, then guess what? Problems (mostly) resolved. Happier people, better society.

I realize I’m an evil person for focusing on solutions rather than acknowledging emotion, but we really are fucking up the whole world by focusing on our emotions rather than actually fixing problems through common sense.

That’s why I’m looking into a career in Unibombing. It has all the reclusive aspects I’m looking for in a career, but the retirement package is pretty bad.

When my wife and I decided to forego our own lives and happiness and make a kid instead, we looked at each other and said, “The fucking cycle stops with this generation.”

It’s still a work in progress but he seems pretty well adjusted and able to handle toxic extended family in a healthy way.

 

[alwaysaway]

On one hand, there’s certainly more worry and sadness, more pressure and uncertainty. Definitely. But on the other, as a society and possibly as humans in general, we’re getting more adept and practised at talking about it, so it’s ever-more visible. That may be one of the great saving graces of social media—it encourages (sometimes too much) communication, though in this case I think abundant communication is a good thing.

I agree with you. I do believe there is less of a stigma surrounding mental illness, and because of this, it is more openly discussed. Interesting take on social media - it absolutely encourages communication, however it can also mask a lot of real life. There are a lot of people who try to ‘keep up with the Joneses’ and easily overwhelm themselves with feelings of inadequacy, or ‘they are so much better off than me’ etc.

Went off on a tangent there, and not really articulating what I am trying to say very well!

 

[Lady2020]

I learned a while back if you want to look up your family trees, you have to have a spine of steel. I sobbed for days at what family went through going back generations.

 

[aussiegeekygal]

I've noticed a seismic shift around here, too. Very gloomy. I chalked it up to my missing @BlackCashmere

In all seriousness, I love these conversations. I'm not sure if I've really every talked about it here and I know some of you know- I was institutionalized when I was 21. It was the making of me and although I wouldn't wish that pain on anyone, I sometimes joke that everyone in their twenties ought to spend some time in a convalescent hospital. The skills I learnt serve me so well.

I've never understood the stigma around mental health. I guess that's because the best people I've ever met, I met in AA. I see mental health issues as an extension of our physical health. Having a broken brain needs just as much care as a broken bone. It hurts. It heals once the stress is removed.

To those struggling: I see you

 

[Lord Pmann]

When my wife and I decided to forego our own lives and happiness and make a kid instead, we looked at each other and said, “The fucking cycle stops with this generation.”

It’s still a work in progress but he seems pretty well adjusted and able to handle toxic extended family in a healthy way.

I believe every child should be forced to watch Arrested Development to see how bad some families could be. Plus, it’s just a good show.