Only sonnets

[gtnlynn]

I had memorize several of Shakespeare's sonnets in high school, but when I recited them to Lynn on our dates she told me to shut up and unhook her bra. It may not be what The Bard had in mind, but it worked.

 

[vagrantx]

A sonnet is traditionally in iambic pentameter.
Each iamb is short-long and there are 5 of them. So each line has 10 syllables. It's not really natural to English. But there it is. LOL

It's really not! I tried writing it in 1/2/1/2 but it sounds so incredibly wonky! Like an audience at a show clapping on 1/3 instead of 2/4.
By traditionally, does that mean exclusively? Looking up some sonnet guides before i wrote it, most said "pfsht, dont worry about it".

Short-short-long is an anapest; you used 3 of them in each line for 9 syllables.

Getting a name for what the rhytms are called helped a bunch! Lots of graphs and easier to understand articles found.

Thanks for helping out! Appreciate it.

 

[MargotPayge]

It's really not! I tried writing it in 1/2/1/2 but it sounds so incredibly wonky! Like an audience at a show clapping on 1/3 instead of 2/4.
By traditionally, does that mean exclusively? Looking up some sonnet guides before i wrote it, most said "pfsht, dont worry about it".

Modern poetry can be whatever, I suppose. That's why I said "traditionally."
A workaround that I thought of, but haven't tried yet is to start on a weak syllable and then do 3 dactyls (not anapests), which preserves the 10-syllable rhythm, but flows better in English. (A thriller, a killer, a Cadillac) Or do 3 dactyls plus an extra accented syllable (What do you do when there's nothing to do?).

I recently discovered a pop song that is written in iambic pentameter. It's called "Heat of the Moment" It's not a sonnet, but the verse is made up of 10-syllable couplets:
I never meant to be so bad to you.
One thing I said that I would never do.
A look from you and I would fall from grace.
And that would wipe the smile right from my face.

 

[MargotPayge]

as I lay bleeding out in the snow
car horns honking and voices so loud
a man stops and looks down through his shroud
his hand reaches for me; "time to go"

BTW, I like the ABBA rhyme scheme. I always seem to default to ABAB and so on.

 

[PhiloDaddy]

Ten syllables per line but not in Iambic pentameter. How would you make this better?

What are these charges on the statement, love
Said my husband with eyes full of heat
I stammered and confessed my ignorance
Gazed down, blushing and knowing what was next
Removed my dress, bra, shoes, and lace panties
Kneeling, waited to hear his trousers fall

 

[Winter_Fare]

Ten syllables per line but not in Iambic pentameter. How would you make this better?

What are these charges on the statement, love
Said my husband with eyes full of heat
I stammered and confessed my ignorance
Gazed down, blushing and knowing what was next
Removed my dress, bra, shoes, and lace panties
Kneeling, waited to hear his trousers fall

A walking meter lends itself to write
Of consequences much misunderstood
It is no punishment to spend the night
In bondage being stuffed with angry wood
If fiscal discipline is what you seek
To reinforce with penetration then
Honey, please, your strategy is weak
The girl is doomed to do the same again
It's only money, life's too short to care
About the cost of lunch and lingerie
If this is what it takes to get you there
It is a price the girl will gladly pay
The poor thing wants a thorough seeing to,
She spent the whole day waiting to see you!