Office affair

[DennisB]

Are there unwritten rules to having an affair with someone at work? I have read some evil comments from both men and women and i wondered?

What happens when it ends? And it has to end, they all do. Does she/he get mad that it ended? I know what you are going to say, "depends on how it ended". Please tell me how a break up ends nicely? Isnt that the definition of a break up?? Why does he have to be a dick and show others the pictures that he took? Why does she have to be a bitch and try to claim sexual harassment? Cant 2 people have an work affair, get their jollies, and then move on without beating up the other person? When she says she is done, why does he have to continue to push her into yet another blowjob in the back warehouse? When he is done, why does she threaten to tell everyone from boss to wife?

Or is the answer not to even start one because you never know how the other person is going to behave?

Are there real life experiences out there that ended mutually? You both agreed that it should end for whatever reason and continued to keep what you had a secret. What do you all think about the person that "breaks the rules of secrecy "? When a guy decides to have sex with a coworker, an affair lets say, does he think that it is going to last 100 years? Really? Ok, you both got drunk at the weekend junket and had an incredible time in the sack. Yes, you have wanted her. Yes she has not been shy about her desires. Yes, you both are married. (I am not even going to address that one, lets just move past it and say you are and you cheated, period.) You have to know that she is not going to leave her husband, home, kids, and life to be with you. You also have to know that this cannot continue forever.

And you, ok, you have been attracted to him forever. When you first saw him you just smiled. And on that one Wednesday when you both worked a half day and ended up naked together, did you think he was going to leave his wife and life to be with you? Did you?

What do you think about the woman who threatens him with exposure if she doesnt get her way? What do you think about the man who threatens to expose her unless she continues?

Did they break any unwritten rules???

 

[HoldYouDown]

Are there unwritten rules to having an affair with someone at work? I have read some evil comments from both men and women and i wondered?

What happens when it ends? And it has to end, they all do. Does she/he get mad that it ended? I know what you are going to say, "depends on how it ended". Please tell me how a break up ends nicely? Isnt that the definition of a break up?? Why does he have to be a dick and show others the pictures that he took? Why does she have to be a bitch and try to claim sexual harassment? Cant 2 people have an work affair, get their jollies, and then move on without beating up the other person? When she says she is done, why does he have to continue to push her into yet another blowjob in the back warehouse? When he is done, why does she threaten to tell everyone from boss to wife?

Or is the answer not to even start one because you never know how the other person is going to behave?

Are there real life experiences out there that ended mutually? You both agreed that it should end for whatever reason and continued to keep what you had a secret. What do you all think about the person that "breaks the rules of secrecy "? When a guy decides to have sex with a coworker, an affair lets say, does he think that it is going to last 100 years? Really? Ok, you both got drunk at the weekend junket and had an incredible time in the sack. Yes, you have wanted her. Yes she has not been shy about her desires. Yes, you both are married. (I am not even going to address that one, lets just move past it and say you are and you cheated, period.) You have to know that she is not going to leave her husband, home, kids, and life to be with you. You also have to know that this cannot continue forever.

And you, ok, you have been attracted to him forever. When you first saw him you just smiled. And on that one Wednesday when you both worked a half day and ended up naked together, did you think he was going to leave his wife and life to be with you? Did you?

What do you think about the woman who threatens him with exposure if she doesnt get her way? What do you think about the man who threatens to expose her unless she continues?

Did they break any unwritten rules???

Breakups involve emotions and emotions are messy. Breakups are rarely even and amicable. That's why they say don't shit where you eat. Work is an easy place to meet people but a hard place to get over them.

 

[screwher]

An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.

When it comes to work place romances a.k.a affairs maybe being proactive in advance to avoid any future problems in the workplace. My wife's workplace "affair" is working out well for both her and her fuck buddy. I think here's why:

1. They're both thinking with their heads and genitals. Not their hearts. Their relationship is purely sex. They make arrangements to get together (not nearly as frequently as I'd like). They screw to their hearts content. She leaves.

2. There's no sign of there affair in the building. They work in different depts of a larger company and building. They would have to make a special effort to see each other. They seem to be keeping their mouths shut about it coworkers. I know my wife is at least. I'm sure he's said to at least fellow coworker "Hey yeah know that hot married woman in customer service? I'm totally doing her!"

3. She's got her husnand's full approval.

So if my wife and her co worker do ever "break up" there won't be any "sticky situations" of the unpleasant varieties lol.

 

[StrongMaster7]

I was witness to the beginning of a very messy scene.

One married male co-worker was fucking a younger unmarried female co-worker. He lied to his wife about going out of town on business. She even drove him to the airport with a packed bag! He then took a cab back to his girlfriend's place.

It would have been the perfect crime except the two of them attended a Halloween party. The married male wore a costume that hid his identity, but several people guessed who he was, even though he did not speak. It was a weird, unnecessary risk.

And a month later at the Christmas party I was at the table when another co-worker basically busted the cheating dude right in front of his wife!!!! The cheater denied it, but it was totally obvious what he had done. I bet the ride home was not a lot of fun.

 

[JackOffer]

Office sex should be strictly casual sex, no strings attached, and not a true romance or affair.

Spouses and significant others should be aware, give consent, and asked to join in. That way, there is nothing go be surprised about.

Back in my working days, many of my co-workers, male and female, and their spouses visited our home for bi-sexual swinging/swapping sessions, with no issues at all.

 

[rainsol]

One simple rule that covers it all. DONT DO IT.

 

[vachuck]

Breakups involve emotions and emotions are messy. Breakups are rarely even and amicable. That's why they say don't shit where you eat. Work is an easy place to meet people but a hard place to get over them.

Agree 100% on the reponse.

 

[newhere2learn]

I think some of it depends upon the industry and the size of the company.

In my youth, I paid my way with bar work. Every bar, stuff was going on. Either between co-workers or customers. Long hours, late nights and partners who didn't work the same life destroying hours.... Led to liaison.

Witnessed one nighters, flings and homewreckers from afar. Nothing was ever secret.



Now, a lot older, working in an international company, we bear of it, gossip and such. But it rarely ends well. Usually marriages breakup and someone leaves the business.

 

[Lost_Yonder]

too many variables to say if it is a good thing or not. I know several couples who met while working together in the same office - so there is positive results too. Plus, I had a very hot secret affair when I was in college with the Latina head of the secretary pool at an office I worked in one summer. Neither of us were married, but I was just a temp 10 years her junior so she pleaded with me not to ever make any move, say anything, or do anything while in the office - and she rewarded me for behaving! I can imagine though if I was less mature about it, she might have gotten in trouble or at least it would have caused lots of unnecessary rumors about her.

So, yeah, its risky, but sometimes those risks are worth taking...

 

[Adultingishard87]

Are there unwritten rules to having an affair with someone at work? I have read some evil comments from both men and women and i wondered?

What happens when it ends? And it has to end, they all do. Does she/he get mad that it ended? I know what you are going to say, "depends on how it ended". Please tell me how a break up ends nicely? Isnt that the definition of a break up?? Why does he have to be a dick and show others the pictures that he took? Why does she have to be a bitch and try to claim sexual harassment? Cant 2 people have an work affair, get their jollies, and then move on without beating up the other person? When she says she is done, why does he have to continue to push her into yet another blowjob in the back warehouse? When he is done, why does she threaten to tell everyone from boss to wife?

Or is the answer not to even start one because you never know how the other person is going to behave?

Are there real life experiences out there that ended mutually? You both agreed that it should end for whatever reason and continued to keep what you had a secret. What do you all think about the person that "breaks the rules of secrecy "? When a guy decides to have sex with a coworker, an affair lets say, does he think that it is going to last 100 years? Really? Ok, you both got drunk at the weekend junket and had an incredible time in the sack. Yes, you have wanted her. Yes she has not been shy about her desires. Yes, you both are married. (I am not even going to address that one, lets just move past it and say you are and you cheated, period.) You have to know that she is not going to leave her husband, home, kids, and life to be with you. You also have to know that this cannot continue forever.

And you, ok, you have been attracted to him forever. When you first saw him you just smiled. And on that one Wednesday when you both worked a half day and ended up naked together, did you think he was going to leave his wife and life to be with you? Did you?

What do you think about the woman who threatens him with exposure if she doesnt get her way? What do you think about the man who threatens to expose her unless she continues?

Did they break any unwritten rules???

Well as you have put a good example on sex between coworkers can end and be so difficult and very dangerous. I would say start with asking if any of the things are possible to occur and if the answer is yes best to just avoid it.

All in all I have had sexual relationships with 3 coworkers in my life. None of them did I think they were leaving who they were with for me or anything like that. It was purely fun sex in bed.

The first was with a friend who had a super controlling wife. She took a lot of pride in being the alpha of their marriage and reminding him constantly so I think for us it was the fact we could have fun sex and it wasn't about control or who was better. That ended when they decided to move. Again neither of us thought it to be something long term, just fun.

The second was at the same job but a different coworker. He was actually single and we just were good friends and decided to have sex. We had fun, we weren't looking for a life-long connection. He was military and that ended when he got orders that had him move across country.

The third was the job I am currently in and we were friends and went to a party and ended up having sex. I don't think it was much more to it other than he liked to have sex with different women. I actually got along well with his wife. Again no pretense that I was the only one he had cheated on his wife with or that he was going to leave her for me, just fun and great sex. His wife got pregnant for the second time so we ended it and about a year later he got fired but we were still friends up till then.

So it is possible but go into it for fun and being flirty and don't think too seriously into or at least that is my opinion on the subject.

 

[panty_aussie]

i think considering a lot of people end up meeting their partner at work. Its most likely that someone will have fun with their cowokers.

i have had a few women intrested in me and they were married.

Also if you work long hours , you spend more time with co workers than you do youre own partner

 

[littlecordelera]

I'm married, never been monogamous, never plan to be. I've had my share of office romances. They are all in the past, but none of them involved a "breakup."

I think if you are concerned about the breakup before you even begin, you're not looking for a sexual affair. It sounds like you're looking for love.

 

[stu_gats_2000]

I say do not dip the pen int he company ink

 

[Grindallnight]

My wife did, it was tough for a while. Now it fuels both of our fantasies.

 

[chitrashi]

It's kind of naive to think that you could have men and women work together in close proximity for around 10 - 12 hours a day and no one will ever feel the slightest bit of attraction towards another or act in it.

Of course office affairs are going to happen. Some ppl will talk about it, some won't. Some ppl will get emotionally involved others not so much. Some ppl will move on gracefully, some will have dramatic breakups. None of these ppl have committed a crime.

When you tall about blackmail and attempts to tarnish professional reputation and/or destroy lives - then you move into criminal territory. These ppl are going to be douchebags whether in office or out of it.

 

[JulieAnn42]

I always said I would never do it.

 

[mjolnir_1]

Cost me a job.

I did it with a co-worker, who was aware of my situation and lightly stalked me a bit. Eventually it cost me my job.

Never again.

 

[policywank]

done it before

I think this is an area where you have to be careful. The fact that you will continue to see the person increases the chances and consequences of conflict.

But I have had a number of office/customer dalliances and never had any significant troubles.

To start with the anecdotal evidence around how all of these things go bad is at best circular logic. The most important factor in managing this type of situation is discretion. By definition when it is managed well you won't hear about it. So the ones that we do hear about are not a representative sample.

It is kind of like the premise that if you fuck a guy he is going to tell all his friends. Its not true. Some do.....and they tend not to get laid a lot. There are plenty of guys out there who have figured out that the best way to get laid regularly and have a chance for more than once with the same woman is to keep your fucking mouth shut. By definition, you aren't going to hear from those guys. That doesn't mean they don't exist.

The key in my mind is expectations. Sure there are crazy bitches who get hostile or start threatening to tell your wife if you don't leave her. But there is a very good chance that when that happens she has distorted expectations. Maybe that is her fault or maybe the guy led her on - both are quite possible. Now she doesn't have the right to expect more from a guy just because he is fucking her - so if she ends up disappointed that isn't his fault. But there is probably a pretty good chance that he knew how she felt so if it does go sideways I am not sure it is really reasonable to say he didn't see it coming.

From the first kiss to the first fuck and the 20th date every guy I am with knows full well not to expect exclusivity from me. And if I get any sense that he is offside I let him know asap. It isn't perfect, but it does avoid most difficult situations.

 

[DennisB]

Unexpected

This thread has been out there for a little while now and has gotten some great feedback from you all. I know it will no way compete with a post involving erotic pictures and spank material but none the less, it has turned into a great discussion and may have provided insights to others; but here at Lit, most of the members are on the more intelligent side of the spectrum. I posted this when I read a news story about an office affair gone wrong. I of course had my assumptions and opinions on how such a thing plays out. I want to thank all who have provided their personal insights and experiences. I see now that my original thoughts were incorrect. Thank you for sharing both here and in private PMs.

The one premise that escaped me in the beginning is how....well mature is probably a good word to describe the woman's role in the affair. Of course i should have already known that the women would be more responsible, mature, professional, in control, etc in an office affair since women in general handle situations like this much better then most men do. Please, I do not want a bunch of PMs from guys saying why am i bashing men. I am not. I was quite surprised to see the responses from some women who handled the office affair well and kept it as it was intended, a purely sexual thing. No strings, no advances, no home wrecking, no emotional relationships, no extras, period. One poster wrote on how all we hear about are the ones that end badly because at the get go, there was ulterior motives or perhaps the people were not mentally stable enough to handle such a situation? The ones that we never hear about are from people who have their heads screwed on correctly?? The movie Fatal Attraction comes to my mind now, lol!
I guess the bottom line for men is, dont start one but definitely say yes if she initiates. For women, dont say yes if he begins to flirt with you and you begin to understand his intentions but act out your feelings with that attractive man in accounting or who works the receiving docks.

Thank you all for responding so far!!!

 

[JRaven]

I've had three office affairs.
The first affair was with a guy in a different department. It ended because it was no longer an affair. My hubby and I started swinging with him and his wife. And certainly, none of that happened at the office! His wife didn't like the idea of a hotwife, but she did enjoy swinging and screwing my husband whenever she could. I became his hot wife. He really brought out the slut in me. This ended when the company we worked for was bought out. He got transferred to the new company's headquarters, I was laid off.

The second one was with an intern that thought screwing me would help his career. I did give him a good review when his term ended. It ended up something like:

He tends finish assignments too quickly , leaving them unfulfilled. When he reworks the assignment, he concentrates better on the objective. Over time, he has learned to be patient and thorough in his tasks.

Was it about his work (it's accurate) or his prowess in bed (it's accurate)?

The third office romance... It's hard to call them affairs, hubby knows and except for the first, they were all single. This one started with flirting. We were in different departments, but sooner or later, every department needs IT. We were in some meetings together. Also, we both smoked and occasionally were outside at the same time.
He started flirting with me like a lot of guys do, just because. But with Bob, I started flirting back. He flirted a little heavier, I did the same. He 'accidently' brushed my boob, later I brushed his dick. Once in the fall as we left a meeting and headed toward our cubes, we paused as I dropped off paperwork at my cube. Working our way toward the elevators to go have an after-meeting-smoke, he says to me under his breath, "I bet you're wearing a sheer, blue bra and matching panties."
I smirked, although I tried to ignore his comment. After he dropped his stuff off, I suggested, "let's take the stairs down this time." When we got to the second floor, I stopped. The second floor was unoccupied. If anyone came out of the first or third floor, I wouldn't be caught. I took his hands and put them up my big, oversized sweater. As he played with my braless boobs, I told him, "you did get the panties right."
It took him a bit to realize that if my panties matched my lack of a bra, it meant I wasn't wearing them either. I wore a long skirt, so he couldn't just reach up it to check for panties. When he started rubbing my ass, looking for a panty seam, I started rubbing his already hard dick. After a few seconds, I gave it a squeeze and told him, "I'll meet you at the smoking area after you get rid of this embarrassing bulge in your pants." I continued down the stairs, leaving him to think of something other than my body.

One of these days, I need to write up the third one as a story. We're still fuck buddies, so I'll have to let him read it first.

Jenny

 

[kingkoll04]

I've had three office affairs.
The first affair was with a guy in a different department. It ended because it was no longer an affair. My hubby and I started swinging with him and his wife. And certainly, none of that happened at the office! His wife didn't like the idea of a hotwife, but she did enjoy swinging and screwing my husband whenever she could. I became his hot wife. He really brought out the slut in me. This ended when the company we worked for was bought out. He got transferred to the new company's headquarters, I was laid off.

The second one was with an intern that thought screwing me would help his career. I did give him a good review when his term ended. It ended up something like: Was it about his work (it's accurate) or his prowess in bed (it's accurate)?

The third office romance... It's hard to call them affairs, hubby knows and except for the first, they were all single. This one started with flirting. We were in different departments, but sooner or later, every department needs IT. We were in some meetings together. Also, we both smoked and occasionally were outside at the same time.
He started flirting with me like a lot of guys do, just because. But with Bob, I started flirting back. He flirted a little heavier, I did the same. He 'accidently' brushed my boob, later I brushed his dick. Once in the fall as we left a meeting and headed toward our cubes, we paused as I dropped off paperwork at my cube. Working our way toward the elevators to go have an after-meeting-smoke, he says to me under his breath, "I bet you're wearing a sheer, blue bra and matching panties."
I smirked, although I tried to ignore his comment. After he dropped his stuff off, I suggested, "let's take the stairs down this time." When we got to the second floor, I stopped. The second floor was unoccupied. If anyone came out of the first or third floor, I wouldn't be caught. I took his hands and put them up my big, oversized sweater. As he played with my braless boobs, I told him, "you did get the panties right."
It took him a bit to realize that if my panties matched my lack of a bra, it meant I wasn't wearing them either. I wore a long skirt, so he couldn't just reach up it to check for panties. When he started rubbing my ass, looking for a panty seam, I started rubbing his already hard dick. After a few seconds, I gave it a squeeze and told him, "I'll meet you at the smoking area after you get rid of this embarrassing bulge in your pants." I continued down the stairs, leaving him to think of something other than my body.

One of these days, I need to write up the third one as a story. We're still fuck buddies, so I'll have to let him read it first.

Jenny

i think i need to get a job where you work so i can get an affair with you

 

[TomOne]

Mine was when I was traveling every other week up to DC. She worked for the company I was subcontracted to up there and I had the hots for her from the first time I met her. We flirted a lot even though I was married and she was engaged. We ended up having drinks one night in the hotel I was staying at and there was a lot of casual touching and flirting while we were at the bar. I finally worked up the nerve to invite her up to my room and she readily accepted.

We shared intercourse, anal sex, and oral sex for the better part of a year. We did all three of those on the last night we were together, which was the day before her wedding. She had made it clear all along that the minute she got married we wouldn't be having sex anymore and I was fine with that. But ohhhhhhh my goddddddd ... I did miss having sex with her.

I remember we had sex one night in the conference room of the place she worked. We actually had intercourse on the conference table. The next day I'm in a meeting in that same room and somebody picks up a hair from the table and says "This looks like a pubic hair!" I controlled myself, but it wasn't easy!

 

[IceyBlue]

I did it with a co-worker, who was aware of my situation and lightly stalked me a bit. Eventually it cost me my job.

Never again.

Ditto here.

Except the gal I was then doing (a stewardess) was a second generation employee (nepotism was rampant in some companies / industries back then, aviation was high on that list) who's mother (former stewardess) told her the VP who fired me was a VERY notorious womanizer when he worked as a pilot.

I sued, was offered my job back and a big cheque, or an even bigger cheque to just walk away.

I took the cash, the VP lost HIS job. LOL





Oh, BTW, the stewardess I was doing, was the VP's daughter............

 

[Erlikkhan]

In my opinion office affairs are very dangerous. Where I work it is cause for instant termination. There is only one problem. When the company assigns you a young, attractive and sexy admin it is hard not to fantasize. She loved to show off her body by wearing skin tight pants and tight tops, and knew it drove me wild. My eyes were glued to her ass when she walked out of the office. She always put a little extra sway just for effect. I knew better the night she asked for a ride home. Her car was in the shop. We shouldn't have stopped for drinks either. Did I mention that her live-in boyfriend worked the night shift? Or that she asked me to help her carry up some things to the apartment? It was just a friendly hug to thank me for bringing her home. Too friendly as it turned out. She pressed her body tightly against me. Somehow our lips met. I left to go home to my wife two hours later. Once became twice which became several times which became whenever we got horny. She was curious, adventurous and sexually insatiable. I drew the line at sex in the workplace, but she would have gladly crossed it. Fortunately I got transferred before anyone found out.

 

[StrawberriesNC]

Are there unwritten rules to having an affair with someone at work? I have read some evil comments from both men and women and i wondered?

What happens when it ends? And it has to end, they all do. Does she/he get mad that it ended? I know what you are going to say, "depends on how it ended". Please tell me how a break up ends nicely? Isnt that the definition of a break up?? Why does he have to be a dick and show others the pictures that he took? Why does she have to be a bitch and try to claim sexual harassment? Cant 2 people have an work affair, get their jollies, and then move on without beating up the other person? When she says she is done, why does he have to continue to push her into yet another blowjob in the back warehouse? When he is done, why does she threaten to tell everyone from boss to wife?

Or is the answer not to even start one because you never know how the other person is going to behave?

Are there real life experiences out there that ended mutually? You both agreed that it should end for whatever reason and continued to keep what you had a secret. What do you all think about the person that "breaks the rules of secrecy "? When a guy decides to have sex with a coworker, an affair lets say, does he think that it is going to last 100 years? Really? Ok, you both got drunk at the weekend junket and had an incredible time in the sack. Yes, you have wanted her. Yes she has not been shy about her desires. Yes, you both are married. (I am not even going to address that one, lets just move past it and say you are and you cheated, period.) You have to know that she is not going to leave her husband, home, kids, and life to be with you. You also have to know that this cannot continue forever.

And you, ok, you have been attracted to him forever. When you first saw him you just smiled. And on that one Wednesday when you both worked a half day and ended up naked together, did you think he was going to leave his wife and life to be with you? Did you?

What do you think about the woman who threatens him with exposure if she doesnt get her way? What do you think about the man who threatens to expose her unless she continues?

Did they break any unwritten rules???

These are all really good questions and point brought up on this subject. They bring focus on a lot of the stuff people don't think about until after the fact when it is too late. Let's face in American we spend just as much if not more time with our coworkers as we do our families.

First and foremost I always say dating coworkers or just sleeping with them is a huge risk because it's not just if you break up they can never give back your stuff or key your car. They can end your career and make it so the only place wanting to hire you is a burger joint. So definitely think about the risk versus reward before you tell your secretary that you need help with that late night project or you wear that see through top to the next meeting.

How it begins is just as important as how it ends. Let's face it when a husband and wife have a fight and she decides to show him by giving into the flirting guy in accounting there is no way that is ending well. If you decided to take that jump into the bed be up and forward with why. Is it just fun, are you getting back at someone, can't keep your legs closed. Both people should be forward and honest. At the same time when the needs change be prepared to end it. Sure she does stuff your wife would never do but when a fun hookup turns into her putting your last name behind hers to see how it will sound be prepared to cut the chains and hopefully you had that before talk so it's out in the open what you were looking for.

Leaving the family for the affair. This in my opinion is the dumbest thing people can do. I am leaving my husband and kids to be with my lover. Your lover knew he was fucking a married woman and didn't care so how deep do you think the morals run? Then she is leaving her family for you so what makes you think you are the person that is going to lock her down and put the halo on her head.

One thing I think could really change these people's minds when they get to this point is to live together for like a week. I am not talking taking a trip and going out to dinner and fun shows. Pick a house and go there and go back and forth to work and decide what to make for dinner and do laundry and yard work and see if they are still the one for you or what.

I have had some work romances myself but like I said I was honest about what they were and I asked that of the men I was with. I wasn't looking for a husband or someone to ride of into the sunset with forever and we made that clear at the beginning so I have been lucky in how they ended. Not the case for everyone.

These are all just my opinion on the subject though.