Multiple Orgasms... so to speak

[TigerTales]

Repeating to myself... "feedback is good... feedback is good"

Hi folks, I've gotten a little feedback about my second story "Fantasy Island" and while some of it was good, some of it was a bit harsh. I'm told I write like some guys make love... one orgasm and then I go to sleep. Since I'm working on a new story, I'd like to make sure that I improve in that area. The two stories I've published here both concern unlikely sexual partners. I guess my focus has been the conquest or the actual bringing together of the participants.

I can use my imagination and find all sorts of interesting twists to second, third, and fourth couplings.. <hehehe… pausing here to enjoy the imaginations... ahem...> I just wonder if, by the time I set up the story and get the participants together, my stories wouldn't be too long for most readers? Put another way... is longer really better?

All feedback is welcome!

 

[KillerMuffin]

No, longer isn't necessary better. As Ol' Sgt. Sullivan (my 12th grade English Teacher) used to say, "It should be like a girl's skirt, long enough to cover the subject and short enough to be interesting." This holds true, even if the old bat didn't appreciate her own wisdom.

I would suggest you make use of the volunteer editor service here. They will help you immensely, particularly from that great plague of a problem all erotica writers seem to have, how to make them have sex without him being Peter North and her being that fake slut Sake. The answer is simple, character development. The story of the relationship, not the story of how they fucked, is what grabs the reader's attention. It doesn't have to be deep or intense development, no need for 90 pages of buildup, but you can give them some emotions and weaknesses without adding a great deal of unnecessary length. A choice word here, phrase there.

I read the story over, but found it too difficult to get into.

 

[TigerTales]

Hmmm... thanks I think

I am sorry you couldn't get into the story, you are one of the most enjoyable contributors to this site. Your insight is usually right on the mark.

I do employ the voluteer editors - they're wonderful. I'm just trying to take the criticism well. We all want to get better don't we?

Oh well, it's not like this is WORK or anything.

 

[KillerMuffin]

Smoooooooches. It's probably just cause I've been a moody rat lately. Erotica doesn't go over well when one is contemplating violence.

 

[Weird Harold]

I am sorry you couldn't get into the story, you are one of the most enjoyable contributors to this site. Your insight is usually right on the mark.

I didn't take the time to really read the story, 6000+ words is longer than most on the site already. There's no need for longer, just to add more sex.

I can understand why KM had trouble getting into the story. The setup from three different viewpoints went on for far longer than I was interested in it.

However, ...

Once I got past that and into the actual "Fantasy Island" night itself, the story picked up a lot. That section was much better written and seemed to flow much better than the setup portions.

As far as longer being better -- No longer isn't better, but then, neither is shorter better. A story should contain exactly the number of words to tell the story, no more and no less.

Some stories only require a few hundred words to be told. Others can't be told in less than a hundred thousand. Everything has to fit together just right for a story to be any good.

 

[ANiceGuy]

The editors are a great Literotica tool.

The volunteer editors are one reason why Literotica is better than the other erotica sites. I'd rather have a couple of editors tell me they feel I need to rewrite something than fans vote by not reading or sending me negative email by the ton.

 

[TigerTales]

Thanks for the input WH. Looking back, I could have gotten the same setup in less words. There is a trade-off I think between the desire to develop the scenes and the characters and the need to get on with the good stuff. I'll have to work on that balance a little more.

Killer, I should have realized you were plotting a murder... not a good time for anyone. So, I'll blow you kiss and back slowly toward the door.

 

[KillerMuffin]

Oh don't worry TT, darlin, I'm gonna go off and constructively murder people in a string of assassinations designed to look like the work of a psychotic sexual serial killer. I'm having difficulty with being "too graphic." *sigh* Oh jeeee, no, I'm WRITING it, not DOING it. Killer refers to my reaction to being spanked, not actually killing people.

Anyway, like WH said, I didn't get past the first part so I gave up. I know, I just have no stamina when it comes to fiction. I can read the most boring non-fiction entranced, but fiction? *sigh*

How bout those Packers?

 

[TigerTales]

If you're talking about Green Bay... well, what can I say but "Awesome Catch!!!" I love football<Hey, I'm from Alabama!> but I'm more of a Madison Scout fan than a Pack fanatic.

Hmm... Kills when spanked? Killer O's when spanked? Can take or give a killer spanking? The imagination is such a great place to live. hehehe