It's so easy being a dude

[Conager]

I'm not sure it's quite so much the male /female split that differentiates the types of messages but possibly the personality you display, the way you speak and the way you interact.

I havent had any of the negative experiences I consistently see women post about (the disrespect, unwanted images etc) and I have been posting for a while, albeit mainly in the playground but I do venture out.

It's a sex site, unwanted messages would get ignored, politeness and good humour tends to make people treat you similarly. Nobody can force you into,a text play or communication you don't want to have

I'm not sure I completely understand the woman as victim vibe that comes across (not specifically here but in some threads). I don't get why people don't just turn their PC off

I always assume that when such problems present themselves online, it is not an online-only problem. Being online lowers the bar somewhat to access for social interaction. Appearance, and confidence issues related to appearance are gone or minimized and people's ability to read interpret and convey using body language is non-existent.

People cannot see you nod, shake your head, recoil, or avert your eyes. Online you have to actually say the words "Thanks, but I'm not interested," or if applicable, "I find you interesting because ________."

 

[La damnee elle la licorne]

 

[Nezhul]

That's probably because avatar is one of a few things that give you information about the speaker. Like, all you get is text and avatar, there's no body language, as Conager said. That's why avatar becomes so important. Peek an adorable avatar - and everyone wants to send you smileys.

 

[La damnee elle la licorne]

 

[John Blackhawk]

To be honest i call BS!

Frankly i think some days its hard being a dude, especially a straight dude. I mean with all the guys doing things like spamming unwantedly, sending dic pics and other things i rather not mention nice guys like me have less than a snowballs chance in hell.

 

[Devilius]

Adult forums, especially Literotica, aren't meant for hookups. People looking for hookups in these places need some reality check. You have stuff like Tinder for those things.

 

[Conager]

Frankly i think some days its hard being a dude, especially a straight dude. I mean with all the guys doing things like spamming unwantedly, sending dic pics and other things i rather not mention nice guys like me have less than a snowballs chance in hell.

1) Other guys efforts are distinct from your own and do not impact your ability to make an impression. If you see someone interesting, approach. On or offline. Articulate why you are interested. Be specific. Be honest, even if (you assume) it will make you appear shallow, or crass. You can church it up, but if you simply notice a girl because she has outstanding tits and (so far) that is all you have to go, lead with that. "I sure hope you have the mind and personality to compliment those fabulous tits!"

2) Other guys inept flailings are a benefit to you.

3) "Nice" isn't your job, or your biological imperitive as a man. It also isn't for you to label. Your actions may or may not be "nice," depending on the needs of the girl and you have no idea what her needs are. I was new to dating, (again, 20 yrs off the market) intuitively aware that I was not ready for sexual hookups, and had asked out a local hot-pants. Friends girlfriend commented, "Good, you need to get laid." I explained that it was just dinner, not trying to get into hot-pant's pants. She says "You PLAN to take her out and NOT fuck her? How RUDE."

Point being, not fucking was taking care of me (likely smart at the time) but was not noble. She likes dick, may be interested in mine. Not my job, nor do I earn points by being not being sexual. Ok to not, but being a "nice guy" isn't automatically "nice."

4. Just be authentic. If you are feeling sexual towards someone, communicate that. Non-verbals count.

My general take on nice guys (I was the nicest of nice guys so I can speak with authority) is they are not seen as nice, but as tentative. You are interested. Lets be honest and clear, you are sexually interested. You put off communicating that because it "isn't time yet." Problem is, you display interest and leave that part off, it is the elephant in tbe room. She knows you have the hots for her, but you don't give her the option to give you positive signals because you did not man up and put yourself out there. So you leave her no choice but to reject you, which she also cannot do without being a bitch, because you didn't actually ask. So limbo, waiting for you to get around to it and she resents it. Not nice. Get it?

Nice guys should aim for a little crass, because you won't actually hit crass. It isn't in your nature. Yet.

 

[may_I_please]

1) Other guys efforts are distinct from your own and do not impact your ability to make an impression. If you see someone interesting, approach. On or offline. Articulate why you are interested. Be specific. Be honest, even if (you assume) it will make you appear shallow, or crass. You can church it up, but if you simply notice a girl because she has outstanding tits and (so far) that is all you have to go, lead with that. "I sure hope you have the mind and personality to compliment those fabulous tits!"

2) Other guys inept flailings are a benefit to you.

3) "Nice" isn't your job, or your biological imperitive as a man. It also isn't for you to label. Your actions may or may not be "nice," depending on the needs of the girl and you have no idea what her needs are. I was new to dating, (again, 20 yrs off the market) intuitively aware that I was not ready for sexual hookups, and had asked out a local hot-pants. Friends girlfriend commented, "Good, you need to get laid." I explained that it was just dinner, not trying to get into hot-pant's pants. She says "You PLAN to take her out and NOT fuck her? How RUDE."

Point being, not fucking was taking care of me (likely smart at the time) but was not noble. She likes dick, may be interested in mine. Not my job, nor do I earn points by being not being sexual. Ok to not, but being a "nice guy" isn't automatically "nice."

4. Just be authentic. If you are feeling sexual towards someone, communicate that. Non-verbals count.

My general take on nice guys (I was the nicest of nice guys so I can speak with authority) is they are not seen as nice, but as tentative. You are interested. Lets be honest and clear, you are sexually interested. You put off communicating that because it "isn't time yet." Problem is, you display interest and leave that part off, it is the elephant in tbe room. She knows you have the hots for her, but you don't give her the option to give you positive signals because you did not man up and put yourself out there. So you leave her no choice but to reject you, which she also cannot do without being a bitch, because you didn't actually ask. So limbo, waiting for you to get around to it and she resents it. Not nice. Get it?

Nice guys should aim for a little crass, because you won't actually hit crass. It isn't in your nature. Yet.

Holy shit. YES!

So, did you fuck her?

 

[Conager]

Holy shit. YES!

So, did you fuck her?

Nopw. I'm mean like that.... True story is complicated.