Idea for a VERY dark story

[BlackPlague88]

Hello! This is my first time posting and I’m looking for people who can help me out with an idea I have for a story, that hopefully someone will write for me. It is a VERY dark, perverse extreme gangbang/cuckold story that I have in mind. That goes like this:

A married 35 year old mother of 2, named Kelly, has an ongoing fantasy about being gangbanged, without her husband knowing. This fantasy has been in her mind for more than 10 years and now the urge is so big that she can’t resist it anymore, so she places an ad online. To witch a small club of 4 older men react. She talks with them and they seem very nice at first but they turn out to be a bunch of sadistic pigs that want to use and abuse her in the most extreme ways. She wants it rough, but she has no idea how brutal they are going to use her. They eventually video tape the gangbang for their own use but one of them ends up sending the tape to Kelly’s husband. The story is told through his point of view as he watches the tape and sees what depraved acts these 4 men made his beautiful wife do. And how much she secretly enjoyed it. Eventually the husband breaks down in horror and emotion as the tape and story ends.

Now, some of the acts that the 4 men make the wife Kelly do:



- lots of kissing and tongue sucking (to make it personal for her husband)

- A LOT of spitting in her mouth (the 4 men take turns spitting in her mouth through the entire story, many many times)

- Groping her and manhandling her breasts (pinching her nipples, slapping her breasts)

- Fingering both her holes and making her squirt
-
A LOT of name calling (cheap slut, married whore, cunt,dog… anything you can think of)

- Making fun of her husband, making fun of the fact that she’s a mother

- hard anal fucking and very dirty ass to mouth (lots of talking to her about the taste of their dicks after anal)

- Airtight double penetration, super fast and hard making her scream

- She has to give them all rim jobs (she complaints about the taste but is so horny that she doesn’t mind at this point)

- Slapping her face and chocking her during the dp

- Making her call her husbands name while they fuck her

- Anal creampies that she has to eat/drink

- After all this, the 4 men piss in her mouth.

She is on a leash/collar and is wearing a pink fishnet body suit. She’s got big natural breast and a busty body with a big butt. The location for the gangbang has to be, a cheap motel or a cabin they rented.

I’m aware that this is a very, very rough story idea but It would be so awesome if someone could please turn this into a 6,7 page long story with a short introduction and lots of extreme nasty action.

 

[PaxNurgle]

I didn't want to let your post just go by without a response, so I'll give it a shot:

First of all, by now you will probably have realized that cuckold/cheating wife stories are not very popular on this particular site. They tend to elicit VERY strong negative reactions from the majority of readers.

While I admit I do enjoy those stories, what I find problematic with your story line is that the man is really not into the scene; he derives no enjoyment from his wife's sexual liasons and views it as a brutal rape of his loved one, as well as a betrayal by her. And thus, he would logically feel the intense need for revenge.

So, this is a different dynamic from the cuckold stories that I (and a lot of submissives) enjoy, where the husband would be the sub to a dominant female and her partner, and would enjoy watching her with her lovers from a voyeuristic perspective. Your story implies a lack of consent from the husband, which makes it problematic for me (and possibly, a lot of other readers.) I am not saying that a sexually liberated woman shouldn't have her fantasies fulfilled, if that is what rocks her boat. Rather, as a couple,- basically in this scenario I couldn't help feeling bad for the husband.

With that said though, I have written a story ("The Cheaters of San Ramiro") about a cheating spouse who is into group sex, but the difference with mine is, she was NOT into rough, degrading sex, and the husband (who I portrayed as a greedy, dislikeable slum lord real estate baron) actively sought revenge against his wife's lovers when he discovered what was going on. Incidentally, that is probably my lowest rated story.

You might try your hand at writing yourself; since you already have a fairly detailed outline already laid out, although I would add a caveat about the ratings and comments might not be favorable.

 

[ToPleaseHim]

I’m sure you posted this here for BDSM specific responses, but I think you may get more conversation on the Story Ideas forum. I can move this thread there or you could start it there, too.

I concur with Pax on the general response to cheating wives stories here. They get some very harsh reviews.

 

[KimGordon67]

I’m sure you posted this here for BDSM specific responses, but I think you may get more conversation on the Story Ideas forum. I can move this thread there or you could start it there, too.

I concur with Pax on the general response to cheating wives stories here. They get some very harsh reviews.

It was posted in another thread a few days ago - maybe AH? (I've read the thread, but can't remember where it was.) This is a cross-post.

 

[cookiecat]

Why don't you write the story?

 

[jaF0]

It's received a few replies in Story Ideas.


A question or two for the crowd on this board section. Is there anything really 'dark' in that list? I see some things most people wouldn't like, but they're pretty much all covered by various fetishes. I mean an awful lot of people like anal even though (probably) most find it not to their tastes and it might even still be criminal in a few places.

Is spitting in her mouth any more degrading than 'swapping spit'?

Rimming is sort of a common fetish that's discussed here sometimes.

Choking is discussed a lot and many people love it even though it can lead to very unfortunate endings.

Consuming fluids? Some seem to enjoy it.

I don't find that list all that dark even though a lot of it is distasteful.

 

[IrisAlthea]

It's received a few replies in Story Ideas.


A question or two for the crowd on this board section. Is there anything really 'dark' in that list? I see some things most people wouldn't like, but they're pretty much all covered by various fetishes. I mean an awful lot of people like anal even though (probably) most find it not to their tastes and it might even still be criminal in a few places.

Is spitting in her mouth any more degrading than 'swapping spit'?

Rimming is sort of a common fetish that's discussed here sometimes.

Choking is discussed a lot and many people love it even though it can lead to very unfortunate endings.

Consuming fluids? Some seem to enjoy it.

I don't find that list all that dark even though a lot of it is distasteful.

The laundry list of activities seem to focus on degradation and that can get strong reactions even in these parts of Lit. If dark would be the most common word used then though? I don’t think so and it’s not what I would think of when someone talks about a story as dark.

I think Pax is right about the darkness lieing (Grammar? Very dark grammar.) in watching it through the eyes of the non consenting husband and having it end in horror for him.
I would also guess that that is the point for the OP.

 

[ToPleaseHim]

It's received a few replies in Story Ideas.


A question or two for the crowd on this board section. Is there anything really 'dark' in that list? I see some things most people wouldn't like, but they're pretty much all covered by various fetishes. I mean an awful lot of people like anal even though (probably) most find it not to their tastes and it might even still be criminal in a few places.

Is spitting in her mouth any more degrading than 'swapping spit'?

Rimming is sort of a common fetish that's discussed here sometimes.

Choking is discussed a lot and many people love it even though it can lead to very unfortunate endings.

Consuming fluids? Some seem to enjoy it.

I don't find that list all that dark even though a lot of it is distasteful.

Yes, like you, Pax, and Iris I don’t think these activities are especially “dark.” The darkness here is the betrayal and the husband watching this; the scenes would be depraved to him most certainly. He would likely be terrified that his wife was being raped, but depending on how soon they let him in on it, he would realize she enjoyed and participated in this. The darkness lies with the husband’s response.

I could see some folks really getting off on a story like this, but it would get slaughtered in ratings and reviews.

 

[jaF0]

Many, many, many years ago, I found a story on the former premier story site (ASST ...) that most would call dark. It covered a lot of what the OP suggested. Basically the couple had done something to attract the attention of a biker gang. They ended up taking over and through a number of means forced him to 'surrender' his 'Sara' to them for their use and abuse. It went to much greater lengths, ... they'd show up and take her away for a weekend or sometimes longer to be used at their clubhouse or campsite, sometimes offering her to other gangs. There were circle jerks with her as the center and all of them pumping out onto her, then leaving her to let it dry.

It turned into a very long multi-part series, something like 20 or more parts as I recall. Got into forced body modification like getting her tits enlarged dramatically and some facial modifications combined with way too small or skimpy clothes to turn her into their bimbo fucktoy, all while making the husband pay for it. Some of the stuff was videotaped and sent to him while they still had her for extended periods.

Sometimes they'd bring her exhausted and all but limp body back home to him and hand her to him at the front door.

During her times at home, she'd tell him all sorts of things they did to her ... but then she'd glare at him and tell him how much she loved it all despite the fear they instilled in both of them.

Parts of it got REALLY dark. As I recall, there were some forced piercings and tatts as well.

While there were some really erotic parts to it, I doubt it would pass the non-con tests here.

 

[jaF0]

I have something churning in my head. Trying to figure how to make it dark, but not so dark as to offend and still be able to get past the Non-Con section rule.

 

[PaxNurgle]

That's where the line is for me; it's really only erotic to me if the husband/cuckold is into seeing his wife get fucked (even if only secretly into it) as much as she and her lovers are into it.

There has to be some kind of consent on his part, or at the very least, there has to be an implied consent; for example and open femdom/female led relationship dynamic to it that implies consent on his part. Those kind of stories can be a huge turn on for submissive /kinky guys, though they would still be problematic for a general audience. The story outline above, sounds like the cuck husband is clearly NOT into it by any stretch- which makes the story simply dark, rather than darkly erotic. And hence, does nothing for me.

 

[jaF0]

To me, it seems the consent or at least acceptance is there ... after the fact.

 

[BlackPlague88]

Thank you everyone for the comments, didn't think it would get any reaction. To make things clear, this is all just a fantasy I am in NO way into degrading or hurting women in real life, just a fantasy. That being said, i am into darker stuff (I write short horror stories for fun in the style of clive barker, but nowhere near as good..) and I have tried writing this story myself but for some reason it just didn't work. That's why i'm here looking for someone who can write it for me.

The darkness of the story lies with the husband who is unaware of his wife's ongoing secret fantasies. And also the wife herself, who is struggling with this lust and fantasy she cannot control any longer until she finally gives into it. It would be cool to see a long introduction as to where she struggles with the guild and then finally goes through with it and contacts the other men.

Anyway if anyone think they can work this out into a long story, feel free to DM me. Thanks again.
And sorry for my bad english, i'm from Belgium.

 

[Nonsense01]

I didn't want to let your post just go by without a response, so I'll give it a shot:

First of all, by now you will probably have realized that cuckold/cheating wife stories are not very popular on this particular site. They tend to elicit VERY strong negative reactions from the majority of readers.

While I admit I do enjoy those stories, what I find problematic with your story line is that the man is really not into the scene; he derives no enjoyment from his wife's sexual liasons and views it as a brutal rape of his loved one, as well as a betrayal by her. And thus, he would logically feel the intense need for revenge.

So, this is a different dynamic from the cuckold stories that I (and a lot of submissives) enjoy, where the husband would be the sub to a dominant female and her partner, and would enjoy watching her with her lovers from a voyeuristic perspective. Your story implies a lack of consent from the husband, which makes it problematic for me (and possibly, a lot of other readers.) I am not saying that a sexually liberated woman shouldn't have her fantasies fulfilled, if that is what rocks her boat. Rather, as a couple,- basically in this scenario I couldn't help feeling bad for the husband.

With that said though, I have written a story ("The Cheaters of San Ramiro") about a cheating spouse who is into group sex, but the difference with mine is, she was NOT into rough, degrading sex, and the husband (who I portrayed as a greedy, dislikeable slum lord real estate baron) actively sought revenge against his wife's lovers when he discovered what was going on. Incidentally, that is probably my lowest rated story.

You might try your hand at writing yourself; since you already have a fairly detailed outline already laid out, although I would add a caveat about the ratings and comments might not be favorable.

That was a great reply. Helpful.

I’ve posted a few cuckold experiences and some of the replies were (fill in the blank)phobic and threatened violence. I just assume they are cowards with small parts.