I know y’all are busy, but… 🤪

[OtherMan]

I hope no one minds… I know it looks like artwork (because it is) but I would like the thoughts of those with more poetical leanings to take a look… so that’s why this is here.

Now… I can’t stop you from commenting… but I’d like to get a couple more done before y’all begin turning critical… which I will welcome.

I think there’s something here worth doing… but I do trend toward delusional…

Happily, I might add.

At any rate, here’s what I’ve done with one of my poems… and am considering… god help me (and y’all)… doing with many more (I hope with much improvement… especially to the lettering).

https://imgur.com/a/gHjWlNo

The poem… because the ummm… lettering…

My hands do seem to always go
to ink before my eye…
caressing arc of pointed toe
up through the curve of thigh…

to touch the tatted memories
in lines along the arm…
to wrap the back, to clutch and seize,
to hold and never harm…

but hunger of my hands demand
that they full need replace
and make the way for lips to land
and place to rest my face.

6/4/23

 

[29wordsforsnow]

A very poetical artwork, in terms that it's a bit abstract, and one might see details, or fill in the gaps in their mind. Love it.

Some letters are a bit hard to read to be honest.

 

[Rob_Royale]

As a whole it's a very attractive piece. I'm on my phone and can't read the poem. Can you post it outside the artwork.

 

[RoperTrace]

I hope no one minds… I know it looks like artwork (because it is) but I would like the thoughts of those with more poetical leanings to take a look… so that’s why this is here.

Now… I can’t stop you from commenting… but I’d like to get a couple more done before y’all begin turning critical… which I will welcome.

I think there’s something here worth doing… but I do trend toward delusional…

Happily, I might add.

At any rate, here’s what I’ve done with one of my poems… and am considering… god help me (and y’all)… doing with many more (I hope with much improvement… especially to the lettering).

https://imgur.com/JaHZKbS

.

I love the abstract effect, and the combination of poetry and art. Since I spend hours a day immersed in music as a hobby, my first impression was she was sitting at a drum set, or maybe playing air-guitar. Had the words been musical notation, my brain might have overloaded trying to interpret it. The colors seem to give it an Asian theme.

 

[Angeline]

I love illustrated poems. I've written a bunch of them myself, as have others here over the years (our friend Snow most recently), so you're part of a great tradition here on the forum. I'm happy to see yours though I agree it's hard to make out the words on this one. Maybe redo it or try another where the text is clearer.

 

[OtherMan]

Some letters are a bit hard to read to be honest.

Agreed… I had a shit plan for the lettering (as a couple others noted.)

Can you post it outside the artwork.

Will do and done.

Since I spend hours a day immersed in music as a hobby, my first impression was she was sitting at a drum set, or maybe playing air-guitar.

Thank you for that. Sincerely. I like to be reminded it’s not just about what I’m thinking…
… it’s equally about other perspectives.

I love illustrated poems. I've written a bunch of them myself, as have others here over the years (our friend Snow most recently), so you're part of a great tradition here on the forum. I'm happy to see yours though I agree it's hard to make out the words on this one. Maybe redo it or try another where the text is clearer.

And thank you for the kind words… I’ll certainly try to fix the lettering… which… which we all agree… kinda sucks.

Overall though… well… it’s just gonna be a great day!

Thanks ya’ll!

 

[OtherMan]

https://imgur.com/a/TG0PncD

 

[Ambient4190]

...is she wearing a mask?? the verbiage is great - it's beautiful - but maybe she would have a secret smile from what she is reading? a smirk? abstract grin? for some reason I want to see her happy or some sort of expression reflecting her thoughts.... just my two cents....

 

[OtherMan]

...is she wearing a mask?? the verbiage is great - it's beautiful - but maybe she would have a secret smile from what she is reading? a smirk? abstract grin? for some reason I want to see her happy or some sort of expression reflecting her thoughts.... just my two cents....

Thank you. You’re absolutely right and I went back and forth between giving her an expression…

I guess I was thinking the “mask” is what she’s wearing since she doesn’t maybe want her thoughts known…

Kinda like sending and receiving spicy texts while you wait in line at Walmart.

 

[Angeline]

I like your poem and the image, but the text is still hard for me to read. It blurs against the image for me , especially where the colors in the background change. Maybe it's just my eyes but I feel it would work better if the text were typed rather than handwritten. Just my opinion!

 

[OtherMan]

https://imgur.com/a/rdLJgiV

 

[Ambient4190]

#3
So Beautiful!!
The rhythm and movement pull me onto that sidewalk - breeze tangling my hair and billowing my shirt....