confusing christmas song lyrics

[rae121452]

there are so many of them. take, for example, 'winter wonderland':

'in the meadow we can build a snowman
and pretend that he is parson brown...'

why would anyone in their right mind WANT to pretend that their snowman is brown? it sounds like the poop emoji and i hardly think that's christmas-y. and what shade, exactly, is parson brown? i tried googling it and got nowhere, it must be some snobby shade cooked up at the parson school of design in the 40's or 50's.

and same song:

'later on, we'll perspire
as we sit by the fire...'

i mean, really? how festive is getting all sweaty? why don't they just have their holiday in a sauna? people are really fucked up, especially at christmas.

 

[Saint_Ann]

there are so many of them. take, for example, 'winter wonderland':

'in the meadow we can build a snowman
and pretend that he is parson brown...'

why would anyone in their right mind WANT to pretend that their snowman is brown? it sounds like the poop emoji and i hardly think that's christmas-y. and what shade, exactly, is parson brown? i tried googling it and got nowhere, it must be some snobby shade cooked up at the parson school of design in the 40's or 50's.

and same song:

'later on, we'll perspire
as we sit by the fire...'

i mean, really? how festive is getting all sweaty? why don't they just have their holiday in a sauna? people are really fucked up, especially at christmas.

1 is a slam against both organized religion and fat people.

2 could be a reference to the yule log.


Definitely time to stop playing all Christmas songs.

 

[thør]

Parson Brown

PARSON BROWN'S SHEEP
William Pratt, Printer, 82, Digbeth, Birmingham [c. 1850]

Not long ago in our town,
A little place of great renown,
There lived a man named Mr. Brown,
And he was our parson.
Father he was very poor,
Christmas it was very near;
We'd neither mutton, beef nor beer
For our Christmas dinner.

SPOKEN: They were very hard times for poor folks! Faider had lost his work cause he was getting old and couldn't do much; so I went to Parson Brown's and asked him for some broken wittles; but he wouldn't gi' me ony, but sot the dog at me, and sent me beeak broken hearted. When I came beeak, who should there be [but] faider wi' one o' Parson Brown's fat wether sheep. There, said the old man, that's the first time I ever robbed in my life; but they won't let me work, and I can't starve. Egad! I was nation pleased to see the old sheep; I ran and kissed mother, father, and the old sheep and all, and ran up and down, singing—

CHORUS: Faider stole the parson's sheep
And we shall have both pudding and meat,
And a merry Christmas we shall keep,
But I mayn't say aught about it.

I sung up and down the street all day.
Parson heard what I did say,
And asked me in a civil way,
If I'd sing it o'er again, sir.
Says he, I'll gi' thee half-a-crown,
A suit of clothes and money down,
If to church you'll go alone,
And sing it to the people.

SPOKEN: Egad! Then, I said, I will. He gave me a bran new suit of clothes and half-a-crown. I ran home and told mother what parson had given me to go to church and sing—

Faider stole the parson's sheep, &c.

My mother thought as I was mad.
Says she, what ever ails the lad?
You know they'll surely hang your dad,
If you say aught about it.
Says I, then, mother, I'll tell thee
What I will do as sure as can be;
I'll [tell] the folks what I did see
The parson doing to Molly.

SPOKEN: I said, I'm dang'd if I doan't, mother. Well she said, Do lad, but don't thee say a word about the old sheep; if thee do, they'll hang thee and thy faider too. No, I said, I woan't then. So off I went, in all my bran new clothes. I'm sure I never looked so fine in all my life afore. I was as pleased as a cat with a pepper-box. I goes clink-o-me-clink, clink-o-me-clink, right up to the parson. He began to tell the folk what I had come for. Now, he says, I hope you'll hearken attentively to what this lad be about to sing; for it is a most notorious and outrageous crime as ever was committed, and ought to be severely punished, and every word he says is as true as the gospel I am now preaching. Then he swelled himself up like a turkey-cock, blew his nose, and told me to begin. Then I began singing—

As I was in the field one day,
I saw our parson very gay,
Romping Molly on the hay,
And turn her upside down, sir.
And for fear it shouldn't be known,
A suit of clothes and half-a-crown,
Were all given me by Mr. Brown,
For I to come and tell about it.

SPOKEN: He! He! He! I thought parson would have gone ramping mad. He stamped and swore it was the biggest lie that ever was told; but the folks wouldn't believe him. They all run out of church and cried shame of parson. He sent a big book at me, but it hit an old lady on the head. Down she went and parson plump on top of her. I ran off, singing—

CHORUS: I have done old Parson Brown
Of a suit of clothes and half-a-crown,
For telling all the folk around
What he had done to Molly.

 

[hobbit.]

PARSON BROWN'S SHEEP
William Pratt, Printer, 82, Digbeth, Birmingham [c. 1850]



CHORUS: Faider stole the parson's sheep
/QUOTE]

Was faider sent to the penal colonies or hung?

 

[hobbit.]

"I saw mummy kissing satans claws"

very disturbing image for a young child.

 

[oggbashan]

Hark The Herald Angels sing,

Mrs Simpson's stole our King.

 

[oggbashan]

While shepherds washed their socks at night
All seated round the tub
A bar of Sunlight soap came down
And they began to scrub!"

 

[rae121452]

i just heard another one: 'last christmas' by wham!

i can barely understand the words, george michael sings so breathlessly, but he keeps going on about a brassiere and 'i'm going to give it to someone special'. how creepy is that? he has a brassiere that he's dragging around, looking for someone to fill it? what's that got to do with christmas?