Come out of hiding thread

[Snoozebutton2]

I see so many join and say hi in new faces thread. Then they slip away to be heard no more. What can we do to help you feel more welcome? I know can be intimidating being new. But we all were once as you. I want a safe place for people to transition into regular posters. Come in and say hello and makes new friends. As your points of view are important. Your journey to where you are just as fasinating to learn as others.

Maybe you've been away a long time and need a neutral place to return. I look forward to talking and sharing with many.

 

[ladycrow]

The nature of the internet is, it always had to take a back seat at some time or another. This is easily forgotten for some reason or another.

The sad fact about large communities is that they are almost never as welcoming as smaller ones, simply because it's so easy to slip through the cracks. That is really detrimental to the community experience for many.

I think the only thing that really can be done is finding alternate ways to talk to those who really have an impacton us whether it be via e-mail, IM, etc.

 

[the_jawbreaker]

Hi...and thank you for your warm words.
Yes, it is somewhat difficult to start posting - everyone seems like a family here, and it can make you feel a bit awkward.

What can i say about myself? I've been into BDSm for a few years, have had a couple of relationships in this lifestyle. My current partner partner is vanilla (although she accepts some things like mild spanking and hair pulling). And although i really love her, it is becoming a bit frustrating sexually.

I have lurked on Lit for 2 or 3 years, but this recent situation has made me want to participate...maybe find some like-minded friends, let off some steam, play online.

Again, thank you for caring about us newbies...

 

[Snoozebutton2]

The nature of the internet is, it always had to take a back seat at some time or another. This is easily forgotten for some reason or another.

The sad fact about large communities is that they are almost never as welcoming as smaller ones, simply because it's so easy to slip through the cracks. That is really detrimental to the community experience for many.

I think the only thing that really can be done is finding alternate ways to talk to those who really have an impacton us whether it be via e-mail, IM, etc.

Thats true it's why was glad a few of us met in Atlanta as nice to meet friends you know and respect. As makes talking in future so much easier. I hope to see more of you around. And jeolous over in Japan as love their wacky tv and art. Ok not bad kinksters either. lol

 

[Snoozebutton2]

Hi...and thank you for your warm words.
Yes, it is somewhat difficult to start posting - everyone seems like a family here, and it can make you feel a bit awkward.

What can i say about myself? I've been into BDSm for a few years, have had a couple of relationships in this lifestyle. My current partner partner is vanilla (although she accepts some things like mild spanking and hair pulling). And although i really love her, it is becoming a bit frustrating sexually.

I have lurked on Lit for 2 or 3 years, but this recent situation has made me want to participate...maybe find some like-minded friends, let off some steam, play online.

Again, thank you for caring about us newbies...

Well it is all about family here. I learned going to conventions we are some of the nicest folk around. As long as bring respect for any limits or taboos I never saw anyone not greet me.

 

[rinka]

What a sweet initiative... thankyou Snoozebutton. I do feel shy joining the conversations, though the people on this board seem very inviting and including. I also find that many of my questions are asked and/or answered here already and in many topics discussed I have no experience or knowledge to contribute. I am learning heaps anyway and new thoughts and questions have been provoked daily since I started reading this forum so I'll probably be heard from more in a little while. I'll be around here though...

 

[Snoozebutton2]

What a sweet initiative... thankyou Snoozebutton. I do feel shy joining the conversations, though the people on this board seem very inviting and including. I also find that many of my questions are asked and/or answered here already and in many topics discussed I have no experience or knowledge to contribute. I am learning heaps anyway and new thoughts and questions have been provoked daily since I started reading this forum so I'll probably be heard from more in a little while. I'll be around here though...

Well come on in a little international flavor just adds sparkle to my lil provincial thread. I am glad you have a place can relax and feel at home. I always will be here with some good ole Southern US hospitality.

 

[graceanne]

Well it is all about family here.

Including the sibling rivalry.

 

[Noira]

People online are scary. o.o I always lurk.

It's a natural internet behavior. People clique a bit. And then coming in as a new member, you have to just sort of lurk and watch and pay attention. At least, I do. I read 80% more than I post. Everywhere. Even on the sites I mod...

But it was already said. You guys feel like a family. Us 'newbies' feel like we'd be intruding. Even though it's kind of creepy... BDSM people seem eerily friendly compared to... er... prudes. Seriously. You guys get a billion points from me.

/me goes back into closet

 

[Anomily]

I think the reason I don't post more (at all...) is that the BDSM lifestyle is more something I'm interested in than something I actually have experience in - I started reading this forum as a source of information and am definitely a frequent lurker, but I feel like I don't have anything informed to say and, even though I don't think, judging by the awesome and open atmosphere here, that I would likely be ridiculed or anything like that, I still feel a little odd. It just feels like I would be claiming to be a part of a world that I haven't really experienced yet. Key word being "yet" of course

Before I disappear back into obscurity, I have to say that you guys are all amazing. I've learned so much over these last few weeks of reading the random threads that catch my interest. It's great to know I'm not alone in my thoughts. Everyone wants to feel unique until they really know what it's like to feel like you really are the ONLY ONE who is into something...

 

[Snoozebutton2]

Including the sibling rivalry.

Wellll never said we were perfect. We all got those quirky or crazy or even just not nice folks in family

 

[Snoozebutton2]

People online are scary. o.o I always lurk.

It's a natural internet behavior. People clique a bit. And then coming in as a new member, you have to just sort of lurk and watch and pay attention. At least, I do. I read 80% more than I post. Everywhere. Even on the sites I mod...

But it was already said. You guys feel like a family. Us 'newbies' feel like we'd be intruding. Even though it's kind of creepy... BDSM people seem eerily friendly compared to... er... prudes. Seriously. You guys get a billion points from me.

/me goes back into closet

Won't lie just you will find cliques here and some who feel have enough friends or don't need any. But if cast net wide enough you to can first that solid group. Well sometimes I should probaly lurk a bit more but I'm a talker so harder for me.

Well thats why there is always a changing of the gurd. As as with all things you get hot and cold periods. And newbies charge ahead into the void and carve their places here. Sayyyyy can I turn those points in for a pinapple upside down cake? lol

 

[Snoozebutton2]

I think the reason I don't post more (at all...) is that the BDSM lifestyle is more something I'm interested in than something I actually have experience in - I started reading this forum as a source of information and am definitely a frequent lurker, but I feel like I don't have anything informed to say and, even though I don't think, judging by the awesome and open atmosphere here, that I would likely be ridiculed or anything like that, I still feel a little odd. It just feels like I would be claiming to be a part of a world that I haven't really experienced yet. Key word being "yet" of course

Before I disappear back into obscurity, I have to say that you guys are all amazing. I've learned so much over these last few weeks of reading the random threads that catch my interest. It's great to know I'm not alone in my thoughts. Everyone wants to feel unique until they really know what it's like to feel like you really are the ONLY ONE who is into something...

That may be true but you would be surprised at well people enjoy sharing their experiences and thereby maybe helping you shine light on some of those dark places you needed illuminating. And you are part of this once you founf that aaa ha moment inside you. Even sharing about your fears of future events or nervousness about where you are headed are valid reasons to share.

And please don't disappear I can't tie you to chair and make you stay lol. Pstt but Homburg sure as hell can tie a woman beautifully lol. I can say to stay in the light a bit longer. As you see there are others like you. And hey maybe y'all can walk together in this.

 

[SweetCherry]

I tend to lurk cuz while I have been doing this for a while now, I still don't quite know how I "fit" here. I spent far too long over on the GB and it feels odd coming into a different section and being a "newbie".

 

[Snoozebutton2]

I tend to lurk cuz while I have been doing this for a while now, I still don't quite know how I "fit" here. I spent far too long over on the GB and it feels odd coming into a different section and being a "newbie".

Well if you don't correct my bad grammer. I won't hold waiting so long to come here against you.

 

[SweetCherry]

Hey, I'm not a grammer nazi! Well, not on the boards. My kids might try and say I'm aweful about it, but that's because they need to learn the rules before they ignore them.

 

[Desdemona]

just stopping by

Sure was good to see you a couple weeks ago!

 

[Snoozebutton2]

Sure was good to see you a couple weeks ago!

You too stranger. And never can tire of seeing your eyes sparkle.

 

[Desdemona]

eyes

You too stranger. And never can tire of seeing your eyes sparkle.

I remember you have a thing for eyes. Couldn't get enough hugs. Now, off to Mom's house for the day.

 

[cherokee_dove]

Won't lie just you will find cliques here and some who feel have enough friends or don't need any. But if cast net wide enough you to can first that solid group. Well sometimes I should probaly lurk a bit more but I'm a talker so harder for me.

Well thats why there is always a changing of the gurd. As as with all things you get hot and cold periods. And newbies charge ahead into the void and carve their places here. Sayyyyy can I turn those points in for a pinapple upside down cake? lol

Snooze, i agree totally about the "clique scare" to someone who is just learning the site. i went through it, and it felt like an "outsider looking in" to a world (or site) they didn't feel as if some of the people wanted them there. i know, its how i felt at the time.

If it hadn't been for You, over on the "Introduce Yourself" thread; convincing me things would be ok eventually, i probably would not have stuck around.

It is scary to be alone and not know anyone personally on a new site. So it does make a lot of "newbies" want to hide and lurk; trying to find where, or if; they fit in here.

And even though i haven't been around much lately, i still thank You for making me realize it is ok to be a "newbie" on a site. Because no matter if a person is a "newbie", part of a "clique", or part of the "Family"; everyone still learns from each other.

And i have You to thank for letting me realize that. Thank You.

 

[Snoozebutton2]

Snooze, i agree totally about the "clique scare" to someone who is just learning the site. i went through it, and it felt like an "outsider looking in" to a world (or site) they didn't feel as if some of the people wanted them there. i know, its how i felt at the time.

If it hadn't been for You, over on the "Introduce Yourself" thread; convincing me things would be ok eventually, i probably would not have stuck around.

It is scary to be alone and not know anyone personally on a new site. So it does make a lot of "newbies" want to hide and lurk; trying to find where, or if; they fit in here.

And even though i haven't been around much lately, i still thank You for making me realize it is ok to be a "newbie" on a site. Because no matter if a person is a "newbie", part of a "clique", or part of the "Family"; everyone still learns from each other.

And i have You to thank for letting me realize that. Thank You.

I am happy I could be there for you to see kindness and understanding. I myself have went through a very hard time recently. My heart makes my dreams run before there was an anchor to hold them. So understand when someone is drifting and just want to be that hand that steadies them.
I to learn from everyone as it takes strenght and courage to reexamine onesself. I know as you have to see parts that are hard view. Your words truly touched me this morning. I am a bit raw still and it truly made me smile to see I helped one who truly has such a wonderful heart. Thank you so much.

 

[cherokee_dove]

I am happy I could be there for you to see kindness and understanding. I myself have went through a very hard time recently. My heart makes my dreams run before there was an anchor to hold them. So understand when someone is drifting and just want to be that hand that steadies them.
I to learn from everyone as it takes strenght and courage to reexamine onesself. I know as you have to see parts that are hard view. Your words truly touched me this morning. I am a bit raw still and it truly made me smile to see I helped one who truly has such a wonderful heart. Thank you so much.

~smiles softly~ i am glad my words helped You in Your time of pain, Sir. But no thanks is necessary, because as i said; if it hadn't have been for You on the other thread, i wouldn't be here to offer words of kindness in Yours or others times of pain and sorrow.

 

[Ladythunder]

<---not hiding any more, anyways giggles

I haven't found a lot of cliquishness on this board for which I am profoundly grateful as nothing turns me off a site faster (or in this case, a section of a site lol)

Sure, as with anywhere there are those that have formed close relationships be they friends or more but on the whole, this is one of the most welcoming places at Lit.

I am a jump in with both left feet kind of girl, if I find a thread of interest I will post on it if I have something to say and the best advice I could offer a newbie to this board is don't be afraid to speak up, we don't bite unless you ask us to

 

[_kiana_]

I don't post a lot. It's just how I am. I often feel like other people say what I was thinking before I had the chance and/or much more eloquently or concisely than I could have. I've lost the knack for communication online it seems.

I do sometimes have bursts where I happily get involved and post regularly. And I really have only gotten good feedback about what I have said in the past. So the issue is all about me and nothing to do with the board.

 

[Noira]

Won't lie just you will find cliques here and some who feel have enough friends or don't need any. But if cast net wide enough you to can first that solid group. Well sometimes I should probaly lurk a bit more but I'm a talker so harder for me.

Well thats why there is always a changing of the gurd. As as with all things you get hot and cold periods. And newbies charge ahead into the void and carve their places here. Sayyyyy can I turn those points in for a pinapple upside down cake? lol

Hmmm, I've never made one of those before. Maybe, but I can't promise the cake won't explode in the oven...

I'm a decent cook. It PROBABLY won't...

...But, c'mon, I can do a nice chocolate cake... wouldn't you like a nice chocolate cake? Or brownies? Okay, fine, so those suck... er... gingerbread? Pizza? HOMEMADE PIZZA?

...Cookies?

...Muffins?

The only thing I've cooked with pineapple is pineapple brownies... hmm.

Alas.

Oh, should I stop rambling about this? Maybe that's why no one loves me... even if I can make cookies... >.>