A while back I posted this link: https://forum.literotica.com/threads/when-a-sub-fs-up.1581786/#post-96951737
I got a lot of good support and feedback and the usual dick head PM's from idiots.
I then went on a bit of a crusade to find out if the edge of this life style is really what I want/need/desire. that took me to 3 IRL sessions with Dommes. 7 hours+ of exploration, once twice with the same Domme, who built on the first session. We explored, what I guess would be considered 'vanilla' BDSM, the 2nd session we kicked up thresholds a lot, which helped clarify some hard boundaries for me, and opened up areas to explore alone.
It opened my eyes to what I want. But also what I need. Need to be sexually satisfied.
Yet, the pay to play game is shallow replacement for even an online Domme who might never touch you, yet who owns your mind and your cock. The difference being unless you have boundless cash, you know every session is going to end in a spectacular orgasm if not two. With my prior online Domme, at times I didnt know if I would manage to get a hard on let alone a an orgasm.
I knew I wanted to serve, and be controlled.
Last Monday fate arose, as I was literally planning on giving up on the whole notion of being a sub. The Ex Domme from teh above thread reconnected in a moment of boredom, to see how quickly I would beg. I had told her, I would wait, that I wanted her to control me months ago, and I did wait!
Well I got my wish so far.
tomorrow is day 7. we have had much better communication, better understanding between us on a range of topics and I as man who has controlled most everything in his day to day, OR not really given a fuck about much at all, now wish to serve.
With respect, with boundaries, with a knowledge that I will be pushed, pressed, punished, rewarded as a means to making my Domme happy.
I have ceded my entire sex life include with my wife [what there is of it] over to Mistress. After a punishing weekend, im numb to arousal at the moment other than when I see her user id pop up, so does my dick. Hearing her devious chuckle at my distress as she watches me squirm and beg for release is so arousing.
I even helped her devise some punishments for my transgressions on Wednesday nite....she is fair, but firm. I have issues with self control....lol.
Who knows where this will lead, but this time I got both eyes open.
I got a lot of good support and feedback and the usual dick head PM's from idiots.
I then went on a bit of a crusade to find out if the edge of this life style is really what I want/need/desire. that took me to 3 IRL sessions with Dommes. 7 hours+ of exploration, once twice with the same Domme, who built on the first session. We explored, what I guess would be considered 'vanilla' BDSM, the 2nd session we kicked up thresholds a lot, which helped clarify some hard boundaries for me, and opened up areas to explore alone.
It opened my eyes to what I want. But also what I need. Need to be sexually satisfied.
Yet, the pay to play game is shallow replacement for even an online Domme who might never touch you, yet who owns your mind and your cock. The difference being unless you have boundless cash, you know every session is going to end in a spectacular orgasm if not two. With my prior online Domme, at times I didnt know if I would manage to get a hard on let alone a an orgasm.
I knew I wanted to serve, and be controlled.
Last Monday fate arose, as I was literally planning on giving up on the whole notion of being a sub. The Ex Domme from teh above thread reconnected in a moment of boredom, to see how quickly I would beg. I had told her, I would wait, that I wanted her to control me months ago, and I did wait!
Well I got my wish so far.
tomorrow is day 7. we have had much better communication, better understanding between us on a range of topics and I as man who has controlled most everything in his day to day, OR not really given a fuck about much at all, now wish to serve.
With respect, with boundaries, with a knowledge that I will be pushed, pressed, punished, rewarded as a means to making my Domme happy.
I have ceded my entire sex life include with my wife [what there is of it] over to Mistress. After a punishing weekend, im numb to arousal at the moment other than when I see her user id pop up, so does my dick. Hearing her devious chuckle at my distress as she watches me squirm and beg for release is so arousing.
I even helped her devise some punishments for my transgressions on Wednesday nite....she is fair, but firm. I have issues with self control....lol.
Who knows where this will lead, but this time I got both eyes open.
