EmilyMiller
Perv of the Impverse
- Joined
- Aug 13, 2022
- Posts
- 11,593
That’s a phrase I used in a story recently. It’s obviously not my invention, but it seemed appropriate.
“Attention whore,” is one of the nicer things I have been called in the alt PMs and anonymous mails via the feedback form that I used to get (and which I feel are likely to start again now). Maybe that’s true.
Conventional wisdom is that when you are in the middle of a shit-storm, shut the fuck up and wait for it to blow over. I guess I’m not that conventional.
I’m trying to stay away from this place. But it’s been a big part of my life for a while now. I also have an obsessive / addictive personality. But I’m trying. I left open email notifications as I wanted my dwindling band of friends here to be able to reach me. The majority of these are women, odd given my reputation, right? But that just keeps dragging me back to ground zero.
But anyway, I’m going to turn off email notifications after posting this. I’d also ask @AH_Mod to lock this thread. I don’t need messages of support. Thats too little too late. I certainly have had enough of snide bitchiness as well. Either way, my aim is to never look at this thread again. Knock yourselves out if you want to continue the public sport of discussing me as if I was Taylor Swift.
I have always viewed threads like these with a raised eyebrow. They are often cries for attention (see “attention whore” above). They are often designed to elicit “please don’t go” responses.
In this case, it’s best for me to go. My therapist thinks so, my boyfriend thinks so. People who actually care about my well-being.
I may keep writing, I don’t know. Not sure I feel much like it right now, but that could change. But I’m done with the social aspects of Literotica. It’s not a community. Communities self-police. Communities look after their members. I’m sure there is a significant number of people who will be delighted to hear this. I’m glad I made your day.
I just wanted to say a few things before I go.
None of this train-wreck is about a review. I asked for a review. I was keen to read it. I wanted to learn and improve. I’ve had feedback from many people in beta reading and via PMs. I like it. I welcome it. I act on it.
The review itself was not the issue. But it had massive problems nevertheless. It basically wasn’t a review.
The first half was pettifogging Grammar Nazi stuff. Some of which was plain wrong. And where it was right, it was irrelevant minutiae. I believe it was just tacked on to provide a fig-leaf for the actual substance of the review, the second half.
This was simply a tirade of performative, political polemic. I was made a whipping boy for (and I hate to use this phase as a queer liberal) virtue signaling.
The whole text was full of snide pokes. Nothing to do with the actual work. The “Emily writes like a man,” jab was particular below the belt, given how much I have suffered from the conspiracy theories about my gender.
But anyway. It was what it was. I acknowledged the review in public. I then PMed the reviewers in private saying pretty much what I just said above.
As far as I understand the rules, you are not meant to refer to private conversations in public. But given my reviewers have already ripped that BandAid off, the thing I am totally beside myself about is their PM response. That’s the issue, not the rather amateurish and puerile “review.”
Disclosure: I asked for their comment referencing PMs to be redacted. In the same report, I said that the thread had descended into being a non-consensual BDSM dungeon. But… neither of my appeals were acted on. You can see the allegations against me still there. The thread was locked because of the later arguments with a person I don’t even know. The contents of which I haven’t even seen as they were redacted. I’m nevertheless resigned to it all being my fault. Thats how things go here.
As to my interactions with the reviewers and their associates? Well verbs are irregular:
I am robust, blunt and unflinching
You can come across as aggressive
She is a psychopath
Anyway, back to the PM response….
This was, and I paraphrase, any good thing that anyone has ever said about my writing was because they had objectified me and that someone should have told me this long ago.
Now I’m more than used to the “woman writers get treated better” crap. It’s not been my experience at all, the opposite if anything. But this feedback from supposed champions of women writers?
The scales fell from my eyes and I understood why they had sought to humiliate me in public. I didn’t need to work it out, they told me.
The review should be seen thorough the lens that the reviewers admitted in private.
Anyway. This post may well be redacted. And I may well be banned. In the circumstances, that might not be a bad outcome for me.
I’m tired of being a public punch bag.
Emily
“Attention whore,” is one of the nicer things I have been called in the alt PMs and anonymous mails via the feedback form that I used to get (and which I feel are likely to start again now). Maybe that’s true.
Conventional wisdom is that when you are in the middle of a shit-storm, shut the fuck up and wait for it to blow over. I guess I’m not that conventional.
I’m trying to stay away from this place. But it’s been a big part of my life for a while now. I also have an obsessive / addictive personality. But I’m trying. I left open email notifications as I wanted my dwindling band of friends here to be able to reach me. The majority of these are women, odd given my reputation, right? But that just keeps dragging me back to ground zero.
But anyway, I’m going to turn off email notifications after posting this. I’d also ask @AH_Mod to lock this thread. I don’t need messages of support. Thats too little too late. I certainly have had enough of snide bitchiness as well. Either way, my aim is to never look at this thread again. Knock yourselves out if you want to continue the public sport of discussing me as if I was Taylor Swift.
I have always viewed threads like these with a raised eyebrow. They are often cries for attention (see “attention whore” above). They are often designed to elicit “please don’t go” responses.
In this case, it’s best for me to go. My therapist thinks so, my boyfriend thinks so. People who actually care about my well-being.
I may keep writing, I don’t know. Not sure I feel much like it right now, but that could change. But I’m done with the social aspects of Literotica. It’s not a community. Communities self-police. Communities look after their members. I’m sure there is a significant number of people who will be delighted to hear this. I’m glad I made your day.
I just wanted to say a few things before I go.
None of this train-wreck is about a review. I asked for a review. I was keen to read it. I wanted to learn and improve. I’ve had feedback from many people in beta reading and via PMs. I like it. I welcome it. I act on it.
The review itself was not the issue. But it had massive problems nevertheless. It basically wasn’t a review.
The first half was pettifogging Grammar Nazi stuff. Some of which was plain wrong. And where it was right, it was irrelevant minutiae. I believe it was just tacked on to provide a fig-leaf for the actual substance of the review, the second half.
This was simply a tirade of performative, political polemic. I was made a whipping boy for (and I hate to use this phase as a queer liberal) virtue signaling.
The whole text was full of snide pokes. Nothing to do with the actual work. The “Emily writes like a man,” jab was particular below the belt, given how much I have suffered from the conspiracy theories about my gender.
But anyway. It was what it was. I acknowledged the review in public. I then PMed the reviewers in private saying pretty much what I just said above.
As far as I understand the rules, you are not meant to refer to private conversations in public. But given my reviewers have already ripped that BandAid off, the thing I am totally beside myself about is their PM response. That’s the issue, not the rather amateurish and puerile “review.”
Disclosure: I asked for their comment referencing PMs to be redacted. In the same report, I said that the thread had descended into being a non-consensual BDSM dungeon. But… neither of my appeals were acted on. You can see the allegations against me still there. The thread was locked because of the later arguments with a person I don’t even know. The contents of which I haven’t even seen as they were redacted. I’m nevertheless resigned to it all being my fault. Thats how things go here.
As to my interactions with the reviewers and their associates? Well verbs are irregular:
I am robust, blunt and unflinching
You can come across as aggressive
She is a psychopath
Anyway, back to the PM response….
This was, and I paraphrase, any good thing that anyone has ever said about my writing was because they had objectified me and that someone should have told me this long ago.
Now I’m more than used to the “woman writers get treated better” crap. It’s not been my experience at all, the opposite if anything. But this feedback from supposed champions of women writers?
The scales fell from my eyes and I understood why they had sought to humiliate me in public. I didn’t need to work it out, they told me.
The review should be seen thorough the lens that the reviewers admitted in private.
Anyway. This post may well be redacted. And I may well be banned. In the circumstances, that might not be a bad outcome for me.
I’m tired of being a public punch bag.
Emily
