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When quoting a character and it is obvious who is speaking do you always use he said, or she said ? It seems so redundant .
"Would you like a drink?" he asked.
"Gin and tonic," she replied.
"Beefeater or Tanqueray?"
"Tanqueray, thanks."
He leaned back in his chair and said, "You don't look like a vampire."
She bared her fangs. "Don't judge by appearances, Mr. Swift."
I read somewhere that tags like "he said" and "she said" are practically invisible to most readers (though they bother a lot of writers). Variations like "he murmured," "she chortled" will make them more conspicuous rather than less. Speech tags can easily be omitted in a back-and-forth between two characters:
You can also signal the speaker indirectly by mixing speech with descriptions of action, posture, etc.:
I read somewhere that tags like "he said" and "she said" are practically invisible to most readers (though they bother a lot of writers). Variations like "he murmured," "she chortled" will make them more conspicuous rather than less.
When quoting a character and it is obvious who is speaking do you always use he said, or she said ? It seems so redundant .
"So what's the problem?" the woman asked. "I'm Kayla, by the way."
"Nice to meet you, Kayla. I'm Jaden Connors. And the problem is that I was supposed to meet someone here and they're not here. I am miles from home, I don't have my car, and I don't have a ticket. So I suppose I will get a cab, if they come all the way the hell out here."
"You could get a ticket," she pointed out.
"I didn't come for the game," he said, impatience getting the better of him. "I came to meet a friend of mine and take advantage of our company's box. If I'd wanted to be out in the cold I could have done that for free and closer to home."
Instead of walking away, which Jaden thought any other woman would have done when faced with his attitude, Kayla laughed.
"You sure are having a terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad day, aren't you?"
"Pardon?"
She waved it off. "Never mind. Kids' book. Tell you what, Jaden, I can help you."
"You can?" He was skeptical. He didn't particularly need help; after all, he was perfectly capable of calling a cab.
"I can. I can tell you where to go," here she paused for effect, "to get a cab. Or . . . ."
Jaden fought a smile. "Or?"
"Or," she continued, "I can get you a ticket. If you go to the game, you won't have come all this way for nothing. What do you say?"
"I say, 'Point me to a cab.'"
Ir was some what a rhetorical question as I have seen it done,just didn't know how common or proper it is to do so.
"Don't be stupid, Hillary."
"Whyever not, Donald? It seems to work so well for you."
dlsloan;79326216Using words like "chortled" or "stammered" or "yelled" can make it sound like you're trying too hard if you are using a different word each time. Just keep it simple and only use those more descriptive qualifiers when they truly matter. Just my opinion.[/QUOTE said:An opinion with which I wholeheartedly agree.
Like many others have said here, I prefer to avoid the identifiers as much as possible during a 2-person conversation. However, when I do need them, I probably use "said" about 90 percent of the time. Using words like "chortled" or "stammered" or "yelled" can make it sound like you're trying too hard if you are using a different word each time. Just keep it simple and only use those more descriptive qualifiers when they truly matter. Just my opinion.
I had a story some time ago with a long string of dialog. I thought it was perfectly obvious who said what. I even tossed in a few redundant 'he replied', 'she asked' tags. But a Mr. Anon took exception and blasted me via email and open comment.
Since then I am sometimes guilty of dumbing down and putting in more 'he said' type tags than I really need.
When I do use them I like to break them up with 'she answered', 'he whispered' to keep the 'he said' from getting monotonous - Even though one of Elmore Leonard's ten rules of writing is to never use anything other than 'said'.
"3. Never use a verb other than "said" to carry dialogue.
The line of dialogue belongs to the character; the verb is the writer sticking his nose in. But said is far less intrusive than grumbled, gasped, cautioned, lied. I once noticed Mary McCarthy ending a line of dialogue with "she asseverated," and had to stop reading to get the dictionary."
I try to use either said, asked or replied or nothing if it is clear who's speaking. And yes I'm put off when it's obvious that the writer went out of his or her way to find a "big" word when something simpler would have been more appropriate .
That's a good rule of thumb. They are to be used sparingly, as markers to keep the reader clear on who's speaking.
As for variations on "said," they are to be used even more sparingly, lest you start sounding like "Tom Swifties" (Google it if you don't know what those are.) They are effective only to the extent that you don't overuse them. They can be invaluable if used properly:
"Get out of here!" he snarled.
or
"You're nothing but a liar!" shouted a lady from the back of the room.
A few of those can go a long, long way.
I get annoyed during a long back and forth if the writer doesn't remind me who's talking.