🏆 Wanker of the Week Awards 🏆

[InThe312]

Welcome to the next panel of judge @InThe312 you have been given this prestigious honour because you are highly skilled at sex and do funny okay. Please keep the dad jokes to a minimum and the lists the same.

I take this honour with the utmost respect and responsibility. If my wrists are sore this month, it won't be from typing the lists.

 

[SalaciousMonkey22]

Thank goodness that overplayed, tension (not) building, delay of the inevitable is over. With that, we enter the rein of what history will call the greatest panel of judge since the OPoJ.

I'm left with a short week, but have the privilege of declaring the first ever Jedi Wanker on May the 4th. Get your nominations going. This week's prize is certain to be better than ever.

And poor @ToPleaseHim. You will be a standing nomination during my tenure, for your ban treatment of poor ol' Dickie. Maybe you'll win and get off the list, but your wankery elsewhere has really been subpar.

Nepotism is a wankers favourite.

*nods*

Welcome to the next panel of judge @InThe312 you have been given this prestigious honour because you are highly skilled at sex and do funny okay. Please keep the dad jokes to a minimum and the lists the same.

Thank you to the outgoing panel of judge who has proven she is only the second worst decision I have made (but still a wanker) in the history of these awards. Thank you for proving that anyone can make a certificate better than @Bry1313 can. Also for the ridiculous lists. Good job, one more of those and wanking season may have been done for good for you.

Also, to @Mrtenant congratulations on this monumental achievement. I understand the need to keep it under the bed so as not to shame guests and lady friends when they don’t have one of their own, but you should be proud of yourself. This is after all the greatest, most coveted award in the history of history. Shine that knob, and display it proudly. Hmm maybe even convert it into a door knocker. Wouldn’t that be a conversation starter when the Mormons drop by…

Congrats again you sly dog, I didn’t see you coming at all. Like never have. Wanker.

Wait, why am I asking? Nominated for too many words.

 

[StillRain]

Ugggggh SO many words in here today. Can I nominate the whole thread?

Nominated for hatred of words.

 

[InThe312]

Wait, why am I asking? Nominated for too many words.

Nominated for thinking that I would include myself in the list of nomination.

 

[SalaciousMonkey22]

Nominated for hatred of words.

Nominated for not understanding that words exist to convey meaning.

 

[SalaciousMonkey22]

Nominated for thinking that I would include myself in the list of nomination.

Nominated for tyranny!

 

[StillRain]

Nominated for not understanding that words exist to convey meaning.

Sorry what?!

 

[SalaciousMonkey22]

Sorry what?!

 

[StillRain]

Wait. Pictures also has words??

 

[Mrtenant]

Nepotism is a wankers favourite.

*nods*

Welcome to the next panel of judge @InThe312 you have been given this prestigious honour because you are highly skilled at sex and do funny okay. Please keep the dad jokes to a minimum and the lists the same.

Thank you to the outgoing panel of judge who has proven she is only the second worst decision I have made (but still a wanker) in the history of these awards. Thank you for proving that anyone can make a certificate better than @Bry1313 can. Also for the ridiculous lists. Good job, one more of those and wanking season may have been done for good for you.

Also, to @Mrtenant congratulations on this monumental achievement. I understand the need to keep it under the bed so as not to shame guests and lady friends when they don’t have one of their own, but you should be proud of yourself. This is after all the greatest, most coveted award in the history of history. Shine that knob, and display it proudly. Hmm maybe even convert it into a door knocker. Wouldn’t that be a conversation starter when the Mormons drop by…

Congrats again you sly dog, I didn’t see you coming at all. Like never have. Wanker.

Such a tremendous ()oversight on my part. Sending you my OF link. Check your PMs.

You only had to ask

 

[SalaciousMonkey22]

Wait. Pictures also has words??

Two. That’s an acceptable amount.

 

[StillRain]

Such a tremendous ()oversight on my part. Sending you my OF link. Check your PMs.

You only had to ask

Well now that you have the incredible WotW post-nominal, certificate AND trophy, I am certain your OF subscribers are going to go from 1-2 in no time!.

Better keep that content fresh!

 

[Mrtenant]

Well now that you have the incredible WotW post-nominal, certificate AND trophy, I am certain your OF subscribers are going to go from 1-2 in no time!.

Better keep that content fresh!

The things I do represent the WoW organization and be an inspiration to all wankers looking to earn their own awards.

 

[crazychemgirl]

Who’s the new judge?!

 

[InThe312]

Who’s the new judge?!

Nominated for not reading the thread

 

[SalaciousMonkey22]

Who’s the new judge?!

Ugggggh SO many words in here today. Can I nominate the whole thread?

I don’t know of this is reassuring to you or not.

 

[InThe312]

Maybe you're wondering, what really makes a wanker:

wanker (noun)

1. Someone excessively and annoyingly pretentious and/or false, with a strong likelihood of working in the creative industries, especially "new media". see also twat, cunt.

2. Someone with a faintly sociopathic lack of regard for other people; see also arsehole.

3. Someone useless, inefficient or time-wasting, especially in a place or work and/or position of responsibility.

4. A general term of abuse.

5. Someone who masturbates.

Most of us probably fall under 5 here in the magic world of Lit, but I think we all know someone who fits any of these definitions. Get your nominations in, you don't want to miss this week.

 

[StillRain]

I’m just waiting for @SalaciousMonkey22 to come in here and complain about all those^ big words again.

 

[InThe312]

I’m just waiting for @SalaciousMonkey22 to come in here and complain about all those^ big words again.

Definitely a 1 or a 3.

 

[StillRain]

Definitely a 1 or a 3.

whew. The new panel of judge is even harsher on the litizens than the old one.

 

[InThe312]

whew. The new panel of judge is even harsher on the litizens than the old one.

 

[SalaciousMonkey22]

Definitely a 1 or a 3.

A 3 for sure

 

[SalaciousMonkey22]

I’m just waiting for @SalaciousMonkey22 to come in here and complain about all those^ big words again.

I made my point.

 

[SalaciousMonkey22]

Because of FOMO I check @morelikeasong 's Siren Songs and Helicockters thread religiously.

We all know what a thirsty thirsty girl @lavendersilk is. Definitely wasting our time pretending it’s anything else. Nominated under category 3. Probably 5 too.

 

[Wand3rlust]

We all know what a thirsty thirsty girl @lavendersilk is. Definitely wasting our time pretending it’s anything else. Nominated under category 3. Probably 5 too.

Nominated for giving credence to the categories