assignments

I'm not heavy into heavy pain, but I love to be given assignments to carry out. Such as flashing and public sex. Pleasuring others at the demand of someone. Things like that. I had a man who used to e-mail me special assignments to do each day. I did my best to fulfill them. Is this really bondage or just fun sex?

Reply

I think if you enjoy what you are doing,...it's "FUN"-I would also add that,...there IS "mental
bondage",...however I doubt that you are participating in it.
(JMHO)

nancygams said:

I'm not heavy into heavy pain, but I love to be given assignments to carry out. Such as flashing and public sex. Pleasuring others at the demand of someone. Things like that. I had a man who used to e-mail me special assignments to do each day. I did my best to fulfill them. Is this really bondage or just fun sex?

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Oh, i love this. The assignments, the tasks (though mine didn't include public sex...(pout)). i miss it dreadfully. Is it bondage? Mental? i don't think i'd classify it as such..**** yes...but perhaps, and this is true at least for me, i loved it because i enjoyed pleasing someone, it made me happy to do as bid because He received pleasure from my obediance.

Just my two cents worth...

belle

that sounds like fun ...

I would think that you might find it both exciting and freeing. Freeing because you might do things that you would otherwise not do.

Hmm, now if I could find someone to give those kinds of messages to ....

Re: that sounds like fun ...

boz said:

I would think that you might find it both exciting and freeing. Freeing because you might do things that you would otherwise not do.

Hmm, now if I could find someone to give those kinds of messages to ....

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There is freedom in submission...~smile~...and for me, on a submission level it is exciting...limits being pushed, even in tasks and assignments...knowing that there will be consequences if they are not followed to the letter...freeing, and exciting, and filled with purpose...

And i'm sure it's not that difficult, boz...but then maybe it's just as hard to find a good sub as it is to find a good Dom...i have heard differing opinions...but i suppose that's another thread or subject all together...

belle

I'm not sure I would consider that much more than playing a game (not that there's anything wrong with that, if that is what you want to do) based on the scant information you have given us.
Did you have a relationship with the man beyond this activity? To me, the essence of bdsm isn't what we do, it is about how we structure our relationships.

I myself would consider it to be D/s to some extent. Bondage, no...I take bondage to mean restraints be they physical or mental, tying, that sort of thing.

Just Do It.

nancygams said:

I'm not heavy into heavy pain, but I love to be given assignments to carry out. Such as flashing and public sex. Pleasuring others at the demand of someone. Things like that. I had a man who used to e-mail me special assignments to do each day. I did my best to fulfill them. Is this really bondage or just fun sex?

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It sounds like you enjoyed the email assignments a lot.

I don't think it matters particularly what anyone else thinks about it or calls it.

The only thing that matters is what You think.

If it felt like bondage....it was.

If it felt like fun kinky sex....it was.

And....If you want to do and learn more...you should.


LC

Hmmm...

You mean everyone doesn't get little assignments from their Dom/me from time to time?

Himself doesn't email me, but he will call me from time to time and give me little assignments to do. Tell me what to wear (he is particularly fond of a egg in the pussy). Well then there is a little public masturbation, mostly with him, but not always.

Sometimes he gives me specific instruction for masturbating and I have to write what I did exactly and send it to him.

Is it mental bondage? I don't know that I can call it that. I do it because it pleases him and frankly I find most of my assignments exciting.

Somehow he knows just how far to push me, either with him or alone.

Sounds logical to me.


One thing about flashing though, it's a good way for men to end up on a website listing sex offenders. Has anyone ever noticed how a double standard exists pertaining to exhibitionism? If a woman flashes, she's perceived as cute, naughty, maybe cheap, but it's a lot less likely someone is going to call the cops. If the cops do come, they are as likely to give her options (like put some clothes on or be hauled away) as they are to arrest her straight away. If men do the same things, they almost always end up in the clink. Perhaps this is because men are the perpetrators of 99% of sex crimes, and people who don't understand kink aren't willing to take chances; a sort of get-the-pervert-off-the-streets-early kind of mentality at work.

Cirrus said:

I myself would consider it to be D/s to some extent. Bondage, no...I take bondage to mean restraints be they physical or mental, tying, that sort of thing.

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monster666

monster666 said:

Sounds logical to me.


One thing about flashing though, it's a good way for men to end up on a website listing sex offenders. Has anyone ever noticed how a double standard exists pertaining to exhibitionism? If a woman flashes, she's perceived as cute, naughty, maybe cheap, but it's a lot less likely someone is going to call the cops. If the cops do come, they are as likely to give her options (like put some clothes on or be hauled away) as they are to arrest her straight away. If men do the same things, they almost always end up in the clink. Perhaps this is because men are the perpetrators of 99% of sex crimes, and people who don't understand kink aren't willing to take chances; a sort of get-the-pervert-off-the-streets-early kind of mentality at work.

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I completely agree with your opinion !

Re: monster666

I am glad, Artful, I truly am. Arguing with you requires way more energy than I want to expend at the moment!

artful said:

I completely agree with your opinion !

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nancygams said:

Is this really bondage or just fun sex?

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From the Deviant's Dictionary (www.queernet.org/deviant/frames.htm):

bondage
Restriction of a person's bodily movement for erotic reasons using fastenings of various kinds. For more information see the Factsheet. Also sometimes used loosely as a code for a wider range of SM practises, reflecting the fact that bondage interests are widespread and popular among SMers (though certainly not universal). This slightly confusing usage is found in the name of the newsgroup alt.sex.bondage which covered many more sexual practises besides.

Most often, in BDSM D/s circles, the word "bondage" is used very specifically to mean what the first line of the def above indicates: the restriction of movement by the dominant partner of the submissive partner in some basically consensual manner.

Perhaps you meant to ask: Is this really submission or just fun sex?

In that case, in my mind, it's all about headspace. It's all about what you two percieve that you're doing together. Who is to say what's true submission and what's not? Who among us can point a finger and separate the "just kinky sex" people from the "BDSM lifestylers"?

There's a continuum of sexual need that we all walk through our lives. Our needs and desires change with time, new partners, age, and experiences. They chage as a result of almost everything see and taste and smell and do and hear, as a matter of fact. We all change and grow in our understanding of our private BDSM-based identity on an almost-daily basis, sometimes.

Who is to say what's BDSM, what's submission, what's just kinky, and what's just fun sex? We discuss those kinds of issues here as they come up - but there are huge gray areas, as we all know. Hard and fast definitions are impossible for the most part.

All of us are who we think we are. If we feel like we're wildly kinky cuz we do a little ass-fucking, a little flashing-by-assignment, a little piss play, some cutting, a bit of suspension, or whatever - then we are. We are.

So nancygams? You go for it, girl. Lance is right: screw the labels. (Beware crossing into illegal turf, though. You give all us perverts a bad name if you do that and get caught.)

flashing

monster666 said:

Sounds logical to me.


One thing about flashing though, it's a good way for men to end up on a website listing sex offenders. Has anyone ever noticed how a double standard exists pertaining to exhibitionism? If a woman flashes, she's perceived as cute, naughty, maybe cheap, but it's a lot less likely someone is going to call the cops. If the cops do come, they are as likely to give her options (like put some clothes on or be hauled away) as they are to arrest her straight away. If men do the same things, they almost always end up in the clink. Perhaps this is because men are the perpetrators of 99% of sex crimes, and people who don't understand kink aren't willing to take chances; a sort of get-the-pervert-off-the-streets-early kind of mentality at work.

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Your post is so accurate.....and there's a Home Depot that i hope i never have to go in again...they keep their "stuff" wayyyyyyyyyyy too deep on the lower shelves!.....