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Old 03-25-2002, 12:05 PM   #1
sudoenim
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Humiliation ideas

Don't know if this is BDSM but I was trying to think of the most humiliating/embarrassing scenarios. Any ideas are welcome: public/private, gay/straight, real/imagined, whatever.
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Old 03-25-2002, 12:59 PM   #2
Merelan
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It is only humiliation, if the one who is "forced" finds it so. I know several womaen who would love to be told to flash someone, or such... but I myself would be humiliated.

It depends on what the "submissive" is like.
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Old 03-26-2002, 06:07 PM   #3
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A good Master knows

A good Master or Mistress will know what the sub needs or desires and he/she will also know that she may say she would be humiliated but in actuality enjoy it especially if it pleased the Master or Mistress. In otherwards . . . never say never!
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Old 03-26-2002, 06:10 PM   #4
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Never?
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Old 03-26-2002, 06:17 PM   #5
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Well, unless . . .

Never, say never, unless the safe word is said, naturally, miss, after all, you might actually "like" it when your Master tells you to do something that you normally wouldn't do. And then, who knows, you might get that delicious chill feeling running through you. Then you come alive once again after experiencing that feeling!
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Old 03-26-2002, 06:37 PM   #6
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Just kidding, of course!

I do so like baiting you, Fallon.

I have found that there are many activities that are viewed as humilation, which I rather enjoy.

Spanking, as popular as it seems to be at lit, is a rather humiliating experience to some degree.

Certain subtle acts in public can be rather exciting as well.

The list goes on
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Old 03-26-2002, 08:21 PM   #7
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Proud in humiliation

.
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Old 03-27-2002, 05:59 AM   #8
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There are things I would never do on my own... that I have done because Himself has asked me... It is always a choice that I have to do or not to do...

Some things were difficult for me, some because of who I am and how I see myself... versus who He sees me as and how He sees me...

fallon2, you are right, a good master knows what a sub needs and leads them.
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Old 03-27-2002, 06:38 AM   #9
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Out of curiousity, does anyone find a collar and leash humiliating?
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Old 03-27-2002, 07:33 AM   #10
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Quote:
Originally posted by MissTaken
Out of curiousity, does anyone find a collar and leash humiliating?
Oh yes... but something i want to experience still...
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Old 03-27-2002, 06:12 PM   #11
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Collar and leash

It is interesting that someone brought up a collar and leash. It is amazing to me how to many subs that at first it repels and then attracts them. One reason being that they feel they are "owned" by their Master and thus appreciated or loved.
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Old 03-27-2002, 09:06 PM   #12
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the list

Quote:
Originally posted by MissTaken

Spanking, as popular as it seems to be at lit, is a rather humiliating experience to some degree.
Certain subtle acts in public can be rather exciting as well.
The list goes on
I would like to see more of that list

Richard
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Old 03-27-2002, 09:07 PM   #13
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Re: the list

Quote:
Originally posted by Richard49


I would like to see more of that list

Richard
Well, I can build you a list based upon dreams or a list based upon experiences.

I am still working on the latter!
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Old 03-27-2002, 09:33 PM   #14
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Re: Re: the list

Quote:
Originally posted by MissTaken


Well, I can build you a list based upon dreams or a list based upon experiences.

I am still working on the latter!
How about both
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Old 03-28-2002, 11:47 AM   #15
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I don't find a collar at all humiliating, in public or private. Well. Okay. One of the obviously BDSM collars, the ones with multiple D-rings hanging off black leather, maybe that would be a little embarassing in public, especially if i'm wearing my ordinary clothing, but NO, i don't find wearing a collar to be humiliating.

A leash, now.
That's different.

I've had one on numerous times over the years and can't think of any of those times when it wasn't humiliating for me to wear it, to be lead by it, to be seen, if only by my Dominant, as one who needed to be leashed, or who could be leashed.

I remember one time very distinctly...
We'd been in scene for a few hours and were both exceedingly into it. He dressed me in my street clothing and then leashed me...and then walked me out of his apartment and into the Saturday night crowd on the sidewalk outside his building, the black leather leash glowing (i thought) like a neon beacon between us. He had me walk a couple paces behind him as we strolled the couple blocks from his place to Balboa Park, in the middle of San Diego.

I was horribly humiliated the whole time and felt conspicuous in a way i'd never felt so before. At the same time, the heat of sexual urgency built in me to an almost explosive point.

We got to the park, he lead me around there for awhile, always proceeding in a stately manner, not seeking the lighted areas but not avoiding them either, and then back to his place.

When we got back upstairs, i was panting and red-faced from embarassment and arousal. I was ready to beg for his touch. Barring that, i was willing to beg to touch myself.

Later, when we were talking it all over, i realized he'd tapped a need in me for some mild public humiliation that i'd not known existed. He said it was an experiment and he thought i'd react well to it but didn't know. He said he didn't know for sure how he would feel about it, either; it was his first time doing something like that in public, too. A good Dominant, he was prepared to end the experiement at any time if it turned sour for either of us.

There has been more experimentation with leashes (and, of course, collars) since that time early in my BDSM-active life, but none that continue to stand out so clearly in my memory.
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Old 03-28-2002, 08:45 PM   #16
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Smile humiliation is such a turnon

Humiliation is very exciting, be it from something simple as the Master or Mistress telling you undress in front of a stranger to being led on a leash outside on your hands and knees to the yard. But ... if you trust the one you are with, if he or she finds it pleasurable, then so would the submissive.

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Old 03-28-2002, 11:05 PM   #17
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Re: humiliation is such a turnon

Quote:
Originally posted by bisarah
But ... if you trust the one you are with, if he or she finds it pleasurable, then so would the submissive.
I beg to differ.

Trusting your Dominant and finding the same stuff pleasureable that your Dominant finds pleasureable are not at all the same thing.

I can trust my Dominant and still find some of what s/he likes not pleasureable. The same is true of my Dominants feelings toward what i like and find erotic.

Examples:
1. I eroticize enema play. I've had a Dominant who shared this interest with me and found great pleasure in doing so. I've had a Dominant who was totally turned off by the whole thing and refused to share it with me.

2. I had a Dominant once upon a time who would only do oral sex on me when i was on my period. The whole me-on-my-period thing didn't do much for me quite frankly, outside the obvious benefits of oral sex, but he loved it and needed it THEN so i did it with him, for him, for what was between us.

3. I had a Dominant once upon a time who wanted and needed to cane me. I was (am still) scared, really scared, of canes and i said no, he could not, i couldn't handle it. He was disappointed but we got past it and went on to have a lengthy and extremely caring relationship.

In all those cases, i trusted the Dominant implicitly.
In all those cases, the Dominant was the center of my life for at least a couple years.

In one case, our kinks matched well. We trusted each other and found similar things pleasureable. (At least as far as this example goes.)

In three cases, our kinks matched well, too, except there was a place or two that didn't really fit. In those cases, we cared for each other, though, and trusted each other. We simply went around the places that didn't fit.

Were the relationships in which i never said "no" were inherently better than when i did say "no"? Should i have said "yes" to something that scared me just cuz he liked it?

No.
NO!

We are people first, we submissives, and we carry with ourselves the same baggage and fears and likes and hopes and dreams and hangups that any other person carries. It doesn't all go away just cuz we're submissive. We're not one-dimensional people; we're real.

If you don't like something, tell your Dominant.
If your Dominant is a real person (like you) then s/he'll work with you to overcome your fear or leave you in peace about it.

A real Dominant won't expect (or want!) some little paper doll subbie who bends and folds exactly and precisely on the dotted lines. They'll want a real person. And real people come with real fears and hesitancies.

That's the basis of the dance we do togetherm actually, that dance of edges and limits - those fears and hesitancies.

Without them, we're just, well, sorta kinda big ole talking pet dogs or something. That's fine if you're into puppy play but not fine if you're not... and most of us aren't, at least not except occasionally.
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Old 03-29-2002, 02:53 PM   #18
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collar.....and leash?

hmmmm. interesting question. I don't know how I would feel,..if Mistress put a leash on my chain collar. maybe,,in public it could be embarrassing to me, in a vanilla world..in private it would be no problem of course. but then,,,I have my doubts I will have to worry about it becoming real to me. I do not believe in my mind or my heart She would that...but ya never know???????

I love my collar. I begged for it long enough, complete with owner's tag. a leash??? you got me pondering this one...
if it happens maybe I'll get the chance to tell you what I went through and see if it measures up to expectations???

mad dog in iowa.....

may you have a very pleasant day....
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Old 03-29-2002, 03:36 PM   #19
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Another

This is another example of where and when the relationship works: The Master knows his subbie (or sub!) and what she needs even if she does not know what she needs. Thus trust is a key element here.
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Old 03-29-2002, 06:04 PM   #20
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Humiliation and all...

I am getting a kick out of reading everybody's posts. And hi Cym! remem me at all?

So maybe I am a freako here, but the whole trust and safe thing seems kinda to put me off. If I total trust the guy, and everything is safe, then why would it be humiliation?

Please donn jump all over me, it's juss a thought.

I have an experience I could tell though.

I was down at St. Bart's in the carribean ok? With an older and real power power type a man. He took me out one day to go shoppping, except he told me he expected me to shoplift some little things. Which scared me and made me nervous but I did pocket a couple trinkets. To make long story less boring, I get nabbed and dragged out on the street by shop guard guy. And Mr. Power cacthes up and just berates me on the street, telling me I am going to sit my ass in a dank jail all night, that he juss wants to turn me over and get rid a me.

People gather, I am tugged back and forth by this man and the guard person. And I am sure I am going to some dungeon, fer real. People are scoffing or laughing or pointing at me like I am the public harlot.

Well, in the end I dint go to jail. I did get my panties wet with all the excitement, and the man definetely enjoyed my public humiliation. Turns out, I think, that he set it all up, so I was never really going to jail. Which is probable a good thing?

Anyway, maybe I am way off the mark here, but that is my silly contribution.
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Old 03-29-2002, 07:17 PM   #21
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Hi Angie,

I dont' believe we have met. I am Miss Taken.

I love your point....if there is complete trust, how could it be considered to be humiliation?

Somethings might be embarrassing-but humiliating? Not for me, under the right circumstances.

Keep posting. You sound as though you might have alot of interesting insights and experiences.

Lead on! Share with us. You have our undivided attention.

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Old 03-29-2002, 08:42 PM   #22
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trust

i think if you don't trust the person you are with, why are you with them? humiliation is such a slippery slope, that you can be left with bad feelings about yourself and your dominant. while i might not like being on a table and having an enema administered to me in front of people and it would make me cry and blush and squirm and beg for mercy, i would still willingly do it for the Master or Mistress. just because i willingly obey does not mean that it is being done to me or by me is not humiliation.
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Old 03-29-2002, 08:48 PM   #23
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Re: Proud in humiliation

Quote:
Originally posted by pierced_boy
If a sub is doing things to please the Dom they should be doing it proudly. A paradox, how can something be humiliating if it is done with pride.

Are we duplicitous or expressing our duality?
Should. Should. Should. Should. Should. Should.

Fuck that!

There's lots of stuff we SHOULD do in our lives, and some of it gets done with a smile, and some of it gets done with a scowl, and some of it gets done in a half-assed manner, and some of it doesn't get done at all.

Why should we submissives be any different?
Are we superhuman that we'll do any fucking thing at all, with a smile and quivering eagerness, just cuz our Dominant wants it of us?

I don't think so, boys and girls, not in the real world, anyway.

In the real world, we all have off days. We're asked/ordered/expected to do stuff that doesn't make us wet or hard and isn't erotic and might even be distasteful. And we do most of it, too - or we have a respectful talk with our Dominant (after which we probably do it, in any case).

If a submissive is doing what his/her Dominant wants, it *should* be done with pride, yes, but that's not always the case. Sometimes we gotta pat ourselves on the back just for getting it done, whatever it may be.

And if you don't think that doing "it" can be both humiliating and a thing of pride to have done, then you're in for some good times with your next (first?) Dominant.

(Here goes another of my long boring stories. I honestly do *not* mind if you skip right past it. I know my experiences are my own and will probably bear little resemblance to yours.)

Once upon a time, long long ago, i was 17 years old and already a seasoned submissive to my 24 year old Master. I was drop-dead gorgeous back then, a totally stereotypical California blonde from the top of my blonde head to the tips of my tanned toes. My Master had me wear a small white bikini top, very brief cutoff levi's shorts, and some sandals one hot summer day. Then he took me into San Diego's only high-rise office building at about 11:00am. He stood to the side in businesslike attire for at least a half hour while we rode up and down in the elevators. The businessmen would come in and go out, all of them with thier eyes glued to my very prominant boobs, or my half-exposed ass, or all the 17 year old skin that was showing. Several of them asked me if i was interested in going out to lunch. One straight out propositioned me, told me he'd give me $50 to come back and meet him after work, and another $50 if i'd let him "get down with" me.

I was blushing continuously.
I was horribly humiliated.
I did it **ONLY** because he required that i do it. I stood straight, though, aware of his eyes on me, aware that i was safe, aware that i was doing it for him.
But i didn't like it.
I didn't get aroused from it.
And when we were safely back in his car, i asked that we not do that again.
We didn't.

It wasn't the end of our Experiements In Humiliation, but we never did *that* again.

Was i duplicitious in doing this thing i didn't want to do, a thing that i found humiliating, FOR him? Was i duplicitious in doing it as best i could, regardless of how i felt in the middle of doing it?

No.
I was obedient.
I did what he required of me.

It didn't hurt too badly or i would have asked for it to end; i could have. I knew that. I wanted to please him, though.

So you tell me: expressing a dual nature or duplicitious?

I say...neither.

I say we submissives simply do the best we can with all the situations we are called to face. If we can handle them, good. If we can't, we say something.

The "situations we are called to face" are often out of the ordinary, i'll give you that. They're often flavored by that of which nilla society disapproves because they don't understand why we do it, or allow it done to us. That in and of itself sometimes tempts us to take on airs of "i'm kinky so i'm better: look what i will do for my love".

It's a big bag of nothing, though, that attitude, and the short way to subbie hell. We're not superhuman. We're not better/stronger/faster/smarter than anyone else. Nor are our Dominants.

Just like everyone, we're just people trying to be happy within the warm of our primary love relationships.

No better.
No worse.




Addendum:
Hi angie honey sweetie pie! Of course i remember you! How could i possibly forget the woman who rescued me from Interactive Story Hell and dragged me up to see what wonders lay in the Lit Forums? And i'm still here, darlin', a year later and due entirely to you.

BTW, that was a hell of a story, angie. Even made me blush!
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Old 03-31-2002, 03:22 PM   #24
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'should' I even post this?

Thank you MissTaken, you are so nice to be nice, and plus I love those shoes on your avatar! I seem to have lost my avatar link during my prolonged absence.

But just to add a lil thing about this humiliation, I have to agree with Cym, if we are going to be doing what we should be doing, then we probably shouldn't be doing this at all.

And as far why you would want to be with someone you didn't trust, well, at least in my little example, I was with him, I assure you, for all the wrong reasons. I didn't say it was a good idea, it was just his idea. So I made the most of it. I could have pouted and kicked my heels like a little girl, but then he liked playing that game even more. Anyways, look at me, back home safe and sound and hardly lacerated at all. I am kidding!

By the way, my daffodils are in full blume out in my flowerbox, it's a warm sunny day, the Cards have their home opener tomorrow, and my lover is beckoning me to bed for a magical massage. Does it get any better?
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Old 04-01-2002, 08:55 AM   #25
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SOYL

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