LITEROTICA PODCAST
LIT CAMS (200 Free Tokens)ADULT TOYSVOD MOVIES

Telling a vanilla friend they are the most submissive person you have ever met

C

CaptainJack09

Experienced
Joined
Aug 18, 2009
Posts
72
As the title states, I have a good friend who I want to gently introduce to the world of D/s, as I believe it would provide for her a great missing link she has lived without discovering. However, I am not about to ask her straight up or send her a link to some hardcore bondage site; is there a tried and true way of doing this? Our relationship is such that I aim to keep all respects intact, and am not comfortable coming out and throwing it in her face. Any thoughts/suggestions/experience would be much appreciated.

Best,
J
 
Question:

Are you looking to introduce her to BDSM because you think it's something she would be suited to?

Or are you looking to introduce her because you want to have a relationship with her?
 
I can tell you what worked on me. I had been talking to my PYL for a number of months without him mentioning the words dominant, submissive, Master, slave or BDSM. (we were just friends and phone sex partners at the time) He would encourage me to talk about my fantasies and then he would send me BDSM-lite short stories and then we would discuss them.

Then I was to go on a plane trip and he told me to read The Story of O. (didn't suggest that I read it, just told me to...:) ) I know many people didn't like the book because it was too unrealistic, but for me it totally turned me on. When I told him the effect it had on me he started with my introduction to D/s.
 
Depends on what sort of relationship you have with her. And, honestly, what your aim is. I am not sure if you want her to be submissive towards you, as in you want a D/s relationship with her, or if you simply want to give her an intro into something that you feel will enrich her life. It matters, as the approach would be different. If you are looking to formulate a relationship, just make a relationship and let the kink emerge naturally. If you are just trying to provide some generic guidance, I would just have a frank conversation. Get her talking about relationships, sex, etc (assuming your friendship is of the sort that allows that sort of talk), and wend your way towards the topic.

Whenever people ask these sort of questions they almost never provide all the info, and don't really seem to know what they want as a reply.

Aaand it seems that be_ignited and I are on the same page.
 
Homburg said:
Whenever people ask these sort of questions they almost never provide all the info, and don't really seem to know what they want as a reply.
Click to expand...

The question was asked generically on purpose, as the intention does not matter. Just curious how others have handled it; a sort of conversion/immersion in a way.
 
My best friend and her husband gave me a copy of The New bottoming Book as a birthday present years ago, with the comment "Honey... for God's sake just read it." LOL
 
Intent doesn't matter? How? Intent shapes approach, period.
 
Moral high horse? Do what? You've completely lost me. There is no moral judgement or question implicit here.

If you, generic, intend to pursue a relationship with a person, you will approach the issue one way.

If you, generic, intend to simply offer some advice, you will approach a different way.

Where is morality a part of what I said?
 
Tell that bitch to get on her knees and suck yo dick.

Problem solved. :cool:
 
CaptainJack09 said:
I respectfully disagree, and there's little use trying to argue from atop your moral high horse.
Click to expand...

I must be on a moral high horse also, as I happen to agree with Homburg that intent colors approach.


You seem quite defensive. Me wonders why?
 
The irony of accusing the poly guy who acquired his second fem via the internet and convinced apparently half the women here that they're really slaves of being on the moral high horse is pretty groovy.

Jack, if you wanna talk her into crawling around, letting you beat her, and grooving on that delicious name-calling, honestly, we won't judge.

Nothing wrong with pointing out somebody's tendencies. Also nothing wrong with saying 'You know, you'd look really good with bruises all over you. Bruises I gave you.'

So long as she turns out to be agreeable, have fun. That you're touchy about it indicates that you're either feeling guilty about the concept because of personal interest, or else you worry about perception. Hence why everybody thinks you're being defensive and all.
 
ZRT said:
The irony of accusing the poly guy who acquired his second fem via the internet and convinced apparently half the women here that they're really slaves of being on the moral high horse is pretty groovy.
Click to expand...

Now I'm all embarrassed. Shucks.
 
CaptainJack09 said:
As the title states, I have a good friend who I want to gently introduce to the world of D/s, as I believe it would provide for her a great missing link she has lived without discovering. However, I am not about to ask her straight up or send her a link to some hardcore bondage site; is there a tried and true way of doing this? Our relationship is such that I aim to keep all respects intact, and am not comfortable coming out and throwing it in her face. Any thoughts/suggestions/experience would be much appreciated.

Best,
J
Click to expand...

Has this woman ever used the internet?

Then she's probably aware of the existence of BDSM on some level.
 
ZRT said:
The irony of accusing the poly guy who acquired his second fem via the internet and convinced apparently half the women here that they're really slaves of being on the moral high horse is pretty groovy.

Jack, if you wanna talk her into crawling around, letting you beat her, and grooving on that delicious name-calling, honestly, we won't judge.

Nothing wrong with pointing out somebody's tendencies. Also nothing wrong with saying 'You know, you'd look really good with bruises all over you. Bruises I gave you.'

So long as she turns out to be agreeable, have fun. That you're touchy about it indicates that you're either feeling guilty about the concept because of personal interest, or else you worry about perception. Hence why everybody thinks you're being defensive and all.
Click to expand...

I should have expected as much.

Thank you for the violently outrageous judgements and implications you were able to pull out of your ass. Further proof that a few rotten apples can all too often ruin an otherwise perfectly good barrel. Consider this nobly-intended thread closed; no use responding and fueling the already healthy fire of blind flaming and baseless degredation that some people need to subject others to to make them feel better about themselves. Have found some great, open minded discussion and some really great ideas and thoughts on another forum whose members did not take it upon themselves to use an innocent query as a stepping stone for them to tromp all over and draw attention to themselves, but rather freely offered their thoughts on the question asked (same original post) so with this uncivilized abuse towards the innocent, I politely take my leave.

Best,
J
 
CaptainJack09 said:
I should have expected as much.

Thank you for the violently outrageous judgements and implications you were able to pull out of your ass. Further proof that a few rotten apples can all too often ruin an otherwise perfectly good barrel. Consider this nobly-intended thread closed; no use responding and fueling the already healthy fire of blind flaming and baseless degredation that some people need to subject others to to make them feel better about themselves. Have found some great, open minded discussion and some really great ideas and thoughts on another forum whose members did not take it upon themselves to use an innocent query as a stepping stone for them to tromp all over and draw attention to themselves, but rather freely offered their thoughts on the question asked (same original post) so with this uncivilized abuse towards the innocent, I politely take my leave.

Best,
J
Click to expand...

Honestly, after that tantrum, I want to say 'riddance.'

You had a good question, and could have had a good thread, but you ruined it by being a knob.

*shrugs*
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

N
44 Male Dom Seeking My Kinky Submissive Best Friend, US-Southeast Coast
Replies
2
Views
512
desire30
desire30
John_Vandermeer
The Allure of the Forbidden: How willing are you to use taboo as a driver of erotic tension?
3 4 5
Replies
107
Views
5K
djrip
djrip
E
31 [M4F] NY Normally vanilla, but looking to explore being Submissive with a dominant woman. Tell me if you think we have something in common (;
Replies
0
Views
194
Exploringbdsmny
E
JayPierce95
Advice for my RL friend: Have you ever had a sexual experience with a brother?
Replies
6
Views
820
dz2681
D
T
My hands are shaking as I type this...
2
Replies
36
Views
8K
chimpers767
C
Back
Top