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Poetic imagery 101 exercise you mind.

Unmasked Poet

Unmasked Poet

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Poetic imagery 101
Describe the scene; invite the reader in and try to create a mood. Do not give a narration.
After a few days anyone please nominate a topic and list the taboo words.

The scene:
A pebble or rock hits the water

The requirements
One stanza
20 to 25 words

taboo words
Wave
Radiate
Pebble
Rock
Stone
Splash
Water
I


Good luck. Extra points for rhyme.
U.P.
 
Last edited:
Example

smooth in my palm
searching for protected places
silence slices a round arc
whiplash from my wrist
skip, skip, skip
sink
 
small, round in the dirt
what will it hurt
one in my grip
playfully hurl, trip
miss him, deliver
to the river
 
what ya know... when it is finally OK to rhyme... I don't :rolleyes:

sanguine flight
slicing air
smooth descent
silent echo
skimming some
spray mist
sensual ripple
splendorous dance
serene descent
sinking deep
 
slick silvery moon mirror
shattered
scattering rain
reflecting Mercurius rivulets
 
Last edited:
d applauding

Well done, ladies.

Savage, I like the alliteration and the sense and progression in your selection.

Wicked, I like the complete thought and construction in yours. There is deliberate attention to sound in this at least to my ear.

perky, you seemed most focused on creating a single image. There is a faint whisper of a particular genre here.

Enjoyed your reads.

Peace,

daughter
 
Re: d applauding

daughter said:
perky, you seemed most focused on creating a single image. There is a faint whisper of a particular genre here.
Click to expand...

gurl, not quite sure what you mean here.....I mean aren't we all focused on creating the one image?<smile> unless you mean I've got an underlying focus....the genre you're refering to?...erotica?...I hope<smile>

perks
 
submission

The scene A pebble or rock hits the water
Requirements 1 stanza, 20-25 words
Taboo Wave, Radiate, Pebble, Rock, Stone, Splash, Water, I

Ancient granite, weathered and brittle,
Broken by fury of autumn's last storm.
Carved, pounded, shattered; little by little
Swallowed by ocean, boundaries transformed.

Or, with a stricter rule of no synonyms for water or stone (i.e. no cheating ;-)

Elements' boundaries,
Unending struggle,
Wind, sun and storm
Weather away, until
Silent absorption
Follows the tumble
Of age old black into
Blue.

Or, finally, catching a much smaller impact in verse (i.e. keeping to the spirit, rather than just the letter, of the challenge):

Silent ark through summer air,
Sky's reflection shattered.
A moment's respite
From the humid heat -
And every throw a bullseye.

Drake
 
dirty little palm
eyes searching the calm
happy little grin
a tuck of the chin
whip, splatter
droplets hang from his laughter
 
A snap of the wrist
And fingers toss
Shiny jasper
Time has glossed
A quiet blip
And rings emboss
Into infinity
 
*ladylove* said:
dirty little palm
eyes searching the calm
happy little grin
a tuck of the chin
whip, splatter
droplets hang from his laughter
Click to expand...

Excellent Imagery ll......most impressive moment in time captured...spoken like a true mom...I can feel your love in the observation.

perky
 
splash

object of earth
rough to the touch
sailing through air
liquid to plunge
freedom in the deep
with secrets to keep


:) sorry it's not very good but I had fun.
 
Re: splash

Camille said:
object of earth
rough to the touch
sailing through air
liquid to plunge
freedom in the deep
with secrets to keep


:) sorry it's not very good but I had fun.
Click to expand...

hey Camille...welcome...this is an exercise to learn.and to have fun....
the question is.....why don't you think it is good?...and what would you change about it?

daughter is always telling me<and I agree>..a poem is always a journey...it starts...and you grow with it.

I personally...like your imagery....I'm not to keen on the liquid to plunge line... but I did love the rough to touch line....and the secrets to keep twist....really sold me on this poem.

I'm glad you posted,
perky
 
Re: Re: splash

perky_baby said:


hey Camille...welcome...this is an exercise to learn.and to have fun....
the question is.....why don't you think it is good?...and what would you change about it?[/qoute]

Just seems silly compared to the others.

I personally...like your imagery....I'm not to keen on the liquid to plunge line... but I did love the rough to touch line....and the secrets to keep twist....really sold me on this poem.
Click to expand...

Thanks Perky_baby, I'll keep trying haven't been writing long I have read a lot though.

Cam

]
Click to expand...
 
perky_baby said:
slick silvery moon mirror
shattered
scattering rain
reflecting Mercurius rivulets
Click to expand...

BTW I just wanted to say that I really really love the 'scattering rain' line perky. It jumped out at me the first time earlier today, and just kept doing so every time I've read this again until I've had to post about it.

Nice.

Drake
 
Re: Re: Re: splash

Silliness is great though Camille :) it's fun, light ... and more importantly means you'll keep playing with it!
object of earth
rough to the touch
Click to expand...
I really like the opening two lines. A great way to bring the reader in on a couple of levels -- particularly the kinesthetic element of touch.
sailing through air
liquid to plunge
freedom in the deep
with secrets to keep
Click to expand...
I like the closing two lines also, although I would maybe change "freedom" to just "free", or otherwise "freedom in" to "freedom of". Just seems to work better for me.

"Sailing through air" is actually a really good line too -- particularly because it hints at water due to the sailing line. If you could change the 4th line to play with that imagery, I think that would strengthen the whole work.

Actually, the fourth line is really the only one that leaves me cold in your poem. Otherwise, though -- really nice :) Look forward to seeing more of your writing.

Drake
 
*ladylove* said:
dirty little palm
eyes searching the calm
happy little grin
a tuck of the chin
whip, splatter
droplets hang from his laughter
Click to expand...

Love the rhythm and how you captured the 'happy little grin' in the structure of your poem.

That last line though ... that's poetry!!!

Drake
 
perky_baby said:
slick silvery moon mirror
shattered
scattering rain
reflecting Mercurius rivulets
Click to expand...

perky--

I'll try not to be encryptic from now on. That happens when I respond before I'm sure how something affects me.

Your poem lacks a verb. 'Shattered' is used as adjective. The gerrund isn't helping. This isn't a complete thought but a fragment. I see a picture but I don't see any meaning or interpretation of the scene. That is what I was feeling when I said I felt you were focusing on drawing an image.

Is that better?

Poets, I'm envious of all of you who are writing. I have neither desire nor confidence to write right now. I'm telling myself it's just the current stress in my life.

Please keep posting. Your efforts are those annoying nudges I need to remain hopeful and inspired.

Peace,

daughter
 
ladylove & Camille

Welcome, poets.

Thrilled to have more contributors. Enjoyed both of your selections. ladylove, I'm with Drake. Your closing line is poetry! It's the kind of line one remembers.

Thanks for the read.

Peace,

daughter
 
Here goes.....(typed while sleep-deprived):

boink, boink
kerplunk
into azure blue
circle, circle
to outer edge true
 
This is great! A real fun way to get the creativeness flowing. All the different ways people have taken the picture and transformed it to feeling is wonderful. So many different emotions given through a simple inspiration. But then thats what its all about! :D

Tigerjen, thats a great mental image. Simple but full of color!

Cam, I like the "feeling" in your poem. The way it portrays not just the picture, but the texture.

Kat, yours displays the sound. I love the way everyone's touches on a different part of the topic.

Perky, love the serene picture broken. And i caught the "erotic" nature after a few more reads. *grin*

Drake, my most favorite line so far "broken by fury of autumn's last storm". It just grabbed hold of me and hung on.

This is awesome, I can't wait to read more posts!
 
minute orb
upon earth
eyes absorb
give birth
to thought
to propel
wind caught
down fell
liquid chaos
fluid bands
go across
because of hands
 
plop, plop, plop

Wicked Eve--

Like the image. Less enthused about the staccato style. Poetry is meant to be read out loud. Consider what this read requires. The sounds are short, clipped, hard. The line length requires rapid eye movement. Taxing for something that is fragmented. These are sound bites or complete thoughts chopped.

Commendable brainstorming. However, the presentation creates, "plop, plop, plop" while the selection reads "fluid bands". There is a condradiction.

Thanks for the read.

Peace,

daughter
 
Thanks for the comments daughter. I may give it another shot. I'll probably have rocks in my head when I finish, though. lol
 
nah, gurl you rock

WE--

You were thinking out loud. You have a good voice, but even the best singers continue to practice.

Looking forward to the rewrite.

Peace,

daughter
 
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