dirty ditties, lame limericks, rollicking rhymes

Guest · May 24, 2004

im in a conumdrum.. im writing a 'humorous' story and i need to insert a fun limerick.. or ditty or rhyme. the only one i know doesnt really fit:

There once was a man from nantucket
who had a cock so long he could suck it
he said with a grin
as he wiped off his chin
if my ear were a cunt i would fuck it.

yes i know everyone knows that one.. the story takes place in... Nowank, Kansas.. so.. i thought maybe nauticle limericks would be out of place...
you brits with the wits.. you 'mericans with flash.. i know you all have something i could use...
help!

cheerful_deviant · May 24, 2004

There once was a girl named Lynn,
Who bought herself a brand new Shwin,
To make it complete,
she took off the seat,
and petaled away with a grin.

Guest · May 24, 2004

cheerful_deviant said:
There once was a girl named Lynn,
Who bought herself a brand new Shwin,
To make it complete,
she took off the seat,
and petaled away with a grin.

oooo.. i like that more moremore

cheerful_deviant · May 25, 2004

I don't believe I'm actually writing these down...

Goldielocks has lots of guys,
Pinochio's one i'm advised,
She sits on the puppet,
And sticks his nose up it,
And makes the poor fella tell lies.

Twinkle twinkle little knob,
How she loves it in her gob,
When that little knob begins to twitch,
She spits it out,
That selfish bitch!

OK, that's my limit.

Guest · May 25, 2004

cheerful_deviant said:
I don't believe I'm actually writing these down...

Twinkle twinkle little knob,
How she loves it in her gob,
When that little knob begins to twitch,
She spits it out,
That selfish bitch!

OK, that's my limit.

rofl.. yes.. i like that one ..its contender numero uno
thank you sweetheart.. but oh my.. how will i ever repay you?
:devil:

cheerful_deviant · May 25, 2004

vella_ms said:
rofl.. yes.. i like that one ..its contender numero uno
thank you sweetheart.. but oh my.. how will i ever repay you?

Oh, I'm sure I can think of something... :devil:

cookiejar · May 25, 2004

I decided to use a few of our favorite authors...

The lady who calls herself cloudy
She frequently gets kinda rowdy
by showing her boobs
to all the rubes
In the back of a '69 Audi.

A doc by the name of mabeuse
Loved to put his dick in a noose
when he pulled on the rope
it was all he could hope
Cause it turned such pretty hues.

ABSTRUSE · May 25, 2004

There once was a girl who was named Lucky,
full of wild spirit and quite plucky,
she turned herself loose
on an unsuspecting goose,
and now she is feeling quite ducky.

There was a young boy named Liar,
he sang in the chuch sunday choir,
with his nails of pink,
he said with a wink,
For private parties, I put out for hire.

Liar · May 25, 2004

why you...

A lady, who heeds to Abstruse,
once found herself covered in mousse,
after taking one look
at a too horny cook,
saying 'time for Abstruse to seduce'.

The_old_man · May 25, 2004

There once was a young roué named Sweeny.
Who spilled some gin on his weeny.
So, being uncouth.
He added vermouth.
So his girl friend could have a martini.

eddited to fix spelling

cheerful_deviant · May 25, 2004

The_old_man said:
There once was a young roué named Sweeny.
Who spills some gin on his weeny.
So, being uncouth.
He added vermouth.
So his girl friend could have a martini.

Clap - Clap - Clap! Very good!

minsue · May 25, 2004

http://www.addis-welt.de/smilie/smilie/lachen/unsortiert107.gif http://www.addis-welt.de/smilie/smilie/lachen/unsortiert107.gif http://www.addis-welt.de/smilie/smilie/lachen/unsortiert107.gif

cloudy · May 25, 2004

cookiejar said:
I decided to use a few of our favorite authors...

The lady who calls herself cloudy
She frequently gets kinda rowdy
by showing her boobs
to all the rubes
In the back of a '69 Audi.

A doc by the name of mabeuse
Loved to put his dick in a noose
when he pulled on the rope
it was all he could hope
Cause it turned such pretty hues.

Can I put that in my siggy?????

:heart:

Guest · May 25, 2004

cloudy said:
Can I put that in my siggy?????

im thinking it would be fun to have a limerick for each nick that shows up on this thread.. cookiejar, KUDOS!

ruminator · May 25, 2004

The ladies of Lit are assured
to be begged propositioned and lured
to remove all their clothes
photograph and expose
wonderful pleasures for our fine reward.

ruminator · May 25, 2004

vella_ms said:
im thinking it would be fun to have a limerick for each nick that shows up on this thread.. cookiejar, KUDOS!

Excellent idea!
I already did Cookie (limerick,....ya know) a long time ago but she may not remember.

Hiya Cookie

ABSTRUSE · May 25, 2004

There once was a thread on a Forum
where the posters lacked so much decorum,
Full of malicious intention
and so much pretention
the best thing to do was ignore em.
:rose:

Guest · May 25, 2004

ABSTRUSE said:
There once was a thread on a Forum
where the posters lacked so much decorum,
Full of malicious intention
and so much pretention
the best thing to do was ignore em.

give da lady a blue ribbon! loved it!

ABSTRUSE · May 25, 2004

vella_ms said:
give da lady a blue ribbon! loved it!

Screw this pop stand, I'm heading to the poetry boards

cheerful_deviant · May 25, 2004

ABSTRUSE said:
Screw this pop stand, I'm heading to the poetry boards

Who do you think you're kidding! You'd miss this collection of... um... er... people, in a heartbeat.

(I know I would!)

Guest · May 25, 2004

ABSTRUSE said:
There once was a thread on a Forum
where the posters lacked so much decorum,
Full of malicious intention
and so much pretention
the best thing to do was ignore em.

ABSTRUSE · May 25, 2004

I'm back, they kicked me out

cookiejar · May 25, 2004

cloudy said:
Can I put that in my siggy?????

It's yours... :kiss:

cookiejar · May 25, 2004

vella_ms said:
im thinking it would be fun to have a limerick for each nick that shows up on this thread.. cookiejar, KUDOS!

Ty vella...I will return with more later. I am still in a fog this morning.

cloudy · May 25, 2004

cookiejar said:
It's yours...

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