Taking bribes for your nomination

IhateClowns · Feb 16, 2019

Listen up folks. I am unabashedly selling my nominations for the right price. I haven’t submitted my votes yet for the 2019 Litties.

People are claiming they’re willing to do whatever it takes to get votes. I’m here to say I’m willing to accept the best you’ve got in order to take home a Golden Swing Award.

So what do you have to give me?

jeff_is_smiling · Feb 16, 2019

I haven't been nominated for any category, but I WOULD appreciate a write-in vote in a write-in thread. Perhaps you could create a "Most Generous Briber" category and immediately close it with only my name?

* Drops a sealed manila envelop with $50,000 worth of unmarked bearer bonds at his feet

IhateClowns · Feb 16, 2019

jeff_is_smiling said:
I haven't been nominated for any category, but I WOULD appreciate a write-in vote in a write-in thread. Perhaps you could create a "Most Generous Briber" category and immediately close it with only my name?

* Drops a sealed manila envelop with $50,000 worth of unmarked bearer bonds at his feet

Nominations are still wide open. That is a hefty offer and if I had the ability to add categories I would. Unfortunately Ernst and Young are in charge of that and I haven’t been invited to that party.

kurrginatorX · Feb 16, 2019

IhateClowns said:
Nominations are still wide open. That is a hefty offer and if I had the ability to add categories I would. Unfortunately Ernst and Young are in charge of that and I haven’t been invited to that party.

The person I represent would like you to test-drive the new 2019 BMW M3 CS LE.

curvyangel1969 · Feb 16, 2019

Rainshine said:
I have a jar of All Spice that expired in 1993 that I’m willing to part with.

dang! I was going to offer up a can of spam and a sleeve of crackers and some pocket lint.

beachbaby179 · Feb 16, 2019

Whatever happened to good old fashioned boob flashes?

I only moved a year ago. I don't have any vintage spices yet.

curvyangel1969 · Feb 16, 2019

beachbaby179 said:
Whatever happened to good old fashioned boob flashes?

I only moved a year ago. I don't have any vintage spices yet.

I know. its hard to top the Vintage Spice game.

TANSTAAFL58 · Feb 16, 2019

beachbaby179 said:
Whatever happened to good old fashioned boob flashes?

I only moved a year ago. I don't have any vintage spices yet.

Dybs on Boob Flashes. (I've been whining about this all along!).

Suz_anne · Feb 16, 2019

IhateClowns said:
Listen up folks. I am unabashedly selling my nominations for the right price. I haven’t submitted my votes yet for the 2019 Litties.

People are claiming they’re willing to do whatever it takes to get votes. I’m here to say I’m willing to accept the best you’ve got in order to take home a Golden Swing Award.

So what do you have to give me?

Clown butthole pics are en route.

You're welcome.

curvyangel1969 · Feb 16, 2019

Suz_anne said:
Clown butthole pics are en route. You're welcome.

Yours or someone else's?

Asking for a friend.

Suz_anne · Feb 16, 2019

curvyangel1969 said:
Yours or someone else's?

Asking for a friend.

The whole gang - Scooter, Daisy, Chuckles, Doodle, Lucky, Bingo, Dimples and Patrick.

IhateClowns · Feb 16, 2019

Rainshine said:
I have a jar of All Spice that expired in 1993 that I’m willing to part with.

I do like a good rub.

IhateClowns · Feb 16, 2019

beachbaby179 said:
Whatever happened to good old fashioned boob flashes?

I only moved a year ago. I don't have any vintage spices yet.

Boobs guarantee a vote from me. I'm easy like that.

IhateClowns · Feb 16, 2019

curvyangel1969 said:
I know. its hard to top the Vintage Spice game.

I can think of many many things that top a vintage spice game. Such as pistachios, Shasta Orange and granola.

IhateClowns · Feb 16, 2019

jeff_is_smiling said:
I haven't been nominated for any category, but I WOULD appreciate a write-in vote in a write-in thread. Perhaps you could create a "Most Generous Briber" category and immediately close it with only my name?

* Drops a sealed manila envelop with $50,000 worth of unmarked bearer bonds at his feet

You represent someone? This is getting legit. People hiring publicists to garner votes.

IhateClowns · Feb 16, 2019

Suz_anne said:
Clown butthole pics are en route. You're welcome.

Hmmmm no brown eyes for me. Especially if they weren't wiped properly.

IhateClowns · Feb 16, 2019

Suz_anne said:
The whole gang - Scooter, Daisy, Chuckles, Doodle, Lucky, Bingo, Dimples and Patrick.

I'm sure by the picture I will be able to tell how Dimples got their nickname.

PrettyLilPussy19 · Feb 17, 2019

I'll add a very old jar of jalapenos I found in my fridge today for Rainshine...

IhateClowns · Feb 17, 2019

Rainshine said:
I’ll even throw in a fresh jar if you tell us the best drama nominees.

There is a runaway winner so far. I have no idea what the story is. But people are typing paragraphs when describing best drama.

I am nominating Troubledone for faking his own death and then having the stones to come on back as if nothing happened. That is incredible and sums this place up in a nice coffiny nutshell.

As for a fresh jar of All Spice, you now have my vote. Not saying for which category though.

IhateClowns · Feb 17, 2019

PrettyLilPussy19 said:
I'll add a very old jar of jalapenos I found in my fridge today for Rainshine...

C-diff will have nothing on me after I eat your bribes.

PrettyLilPussy19 · Feb 17, 2019

IhateClowns said:
C-diff will have nothing on me after I eat your bribes.

Well also some adult diapers then...

IhateClowns · Feb 17, 2019

PrettyLilPussy19 said:
Well also some adult diapers then...

Or mesh underwear and turn it into a Gallagher act.

Justadesperatewifeandmom · Feb 17, 2019

Boobs holding up a can of baking powder that expired in 2000, and you can keep the baking powder. I'll even bake you a cake,. Obviously, I am a very experienced baker.

IhateClowns · Feb 17, 2019

Justadesperatewifeandmom said:
Boobs holding up a can of baking powder that expired in 2000, and you can keep the baking powder. I'll even bake you a cake,. Obviously, I am a very experienced baker.

I didn't understand anything after boobs.

Shi_One81 · Feb 17, 2019

I think I can find some sardines circa 1994 in my mom’s pantry along with a can of hominy, a can of commodity beef AND I'll throw in commodity cheese which if you know anything about commodity cheese is like having gold.

If that doesn’t work though, I suck a mean dick... js

*

* edited to add my boobs are big enough to do a titty fuck bj combo

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