A proposal for the GLBT forums

TheLM said:

So now we are celebrating MORE segregation as a step forward.

>_>

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Is it really considered segregation if it is still under the same umbrella, or just recognizing diversity within a group?

All I know is that I am not the same as a lesbian (as many remind me this all of the time) and I definitely am not interested in women who just want to dip their toes in the Sapphoric water either.

I think there are valid differences that should be recognized but I really don't post as much in this forum, mostly because I just tend to get men PMing me saying, "ooh, you like chicks? That is hot" and I don't really want to be exiled because of an opinion either.

Yes - segregation, if that's the word you choose but if it means keeping a chat with someone who is struggling with their gender identity from someone who wants to 'suck their boi-clitty', then call whatever you want.
What about GLBT Play and GLBT Talk ?

stickygirl said:

Yes - segregation, if that's the word you choose but if it means keeping a chat with someone who is struggling with their gender identity from someone who wants to 'suck their boi-clitty', then call whatever you want.
What about GLBT Play and GLBT Talk ?

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The former seems to imply something that might be more appropriate in ORP/SRP, Personals or Playground, as does 'Chat'. Is this what you are thinking of when you suggest 'Play'?
'Talk' or the current 'Chatter' (or 'Forum') seem like better choices for a discussion forum.

well, I was thinking 'Play' sounds like doing something active eg posting pics, role-playing, 'women who are currently masturbating' ( ... actually, could it be called 'Stiff and Wet'? and then it covers whatever people have in their left hand? )
Forum sounds good...
It needs to be that room at a house party where people are just talking bollocks and smoking joints rather dancing/groping... not that I go to parties like that

Ex Princess said:

Is it really considered segregation if it is still under the same umbrella, or just recognizing diversity within a group?

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Are separate water fountains segregation? They both fell under the umbrella of the human group in a public setting.

Let's just call it like it is.
Some people don't like interactions with horny men.


That these individuals complain about it on a sex forum continues to baffle me, but whatever. (some people are a little newer to the intricacies of the internet, and i get that)

Oranges are not the only fruit : sex exists without horny men. Some women really don't like men hitting on them but accept that men will still post on lesbian threads, but at least by having different section titles there is less chance of mix-ups. But this ^^^ has been gone over and over already.
There is no perfect solution but the segregation seems a decent compromise for both new posters ( without whom the whole site dies ) and old hands who don't want change 'because'.

TheLM said:

Some people don't like interactions with horny men.

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Horny men who are mostly straight (or think they are) and don't have much to say about social issues relating to trans, bi- and homosexual people but are rather more interested in talking about why and which cocks, shemales and lesbians are hawt.

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Edit for brevity: What stickygirl said.
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Don't get me wrong, I consider myself more heteroflexible than bi (though I could definitely have a loving relationship with another guy), but there seems to be a concern (perhaps not a consensus) that the volume of MSM is kinda swamping the GLBT and that it might be worthwhile for all parties to have a forum for such interests. I would probably browse both (as could anyone else), but those who are more interested in one than the other would have an easier time of finding posts that were relevant to them if such a split were made.

Etoile said:

Whoa wait...now I'm confused.

Post 113 is where we started talking about this again. Your OP refers to creating a fetish forum. We have that. It's just that some threads get shuttled between there and here, and I've been led to understand that the vibe in F&S is not very queer-friendly.

So now we're talking about a separate GLBT-like fetishes forum, right? Not what was in the OP. The first 112 posts of this thread were sorted out by having F&S created.

What I'm looking for here is a name for a "GLBT-like fetishes" forum. Something we can present to the admins, along with the explanation for why it's needed.

I don't want to split off the T from the GLB, I don't want to split men from women. I think if we can get the GLBT-like fetishes isolated, everything else will settle into place. If it doesn't, we can address it further from there...but I'd like to start with that. I thought that's where we were, has that changed? I admit a lot went on for me in the last few weeks, but I didn't see any discussion to the contrary...did I miss something?

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Would "GLBT Fetishes" not be a good name? I have no idea. Just curious. Or maybe something like the way the HT and BDSM forums are set up? GLBT Talk for more serious discussions, like relationships, issues, etc., and GLBT Cafe for pic threads, the currently masturbating threads, and so forth?

.....

Etoile said:

I have tried not to present my own irritation on this issue, but it's been hard.

I have tried to please everyone, and I really don't think I can do that. As far as I know, no other moderator on Lit has to deal with this level of discontent from the members in their area. I think it's warranted, sure, but I can't please everyone. Lit may not be what each individual wants it to be. It may not be the place for some people.

It's really tempting to just resign as GLBT Chatter moderator and have you guys talk to Laurel directly. I don't get paid enough to sort this out.

I'm not saying I'm going to, but that's how this thread makes me feel. I am tired of people being angry at me because the forum isn't exactly how they want it to be.

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Though I don't get on here much anymore (which has nothing to do with discontent), I think you have done a good job all along. I hope you don't throw in the towel.

I've always has a slightly different view. As long as I could express it, I didn't find a problem. Personally, I don't think segregating ever was the answer. Sure I never cared for the Str8-male-love-cock-not-men crowd, but if those people never come into your playground how would they ever now that what they say bothers some? The same can be said for any slice/dice of humanity. If no women are in a room, how would men know that somethings they say are offensive? If no elderly are in a room, how would youth know something they say is offensive. If no overweight people are in a room how would people on a slender scale know something they said is offensive. If not handicapped people.... et al...

To me, the fact that some are even willing to go into a GLBT room means that you got their attention at least a little bit and an opportunity to express an alternative view.

At least it isn't like some sites where str8 porn spam has taken over... There have been a few times an actual troll has come one, but it seems few and far between. You've kept that a bay. You'll never please everybody. If you think you can, then maybe you belong in politics!

More likely the problem is that you haven't been appreciated enough so let me just say:

Thank you for MANY years of being our forum moderator, and hopefully for many more years in the future!...

kbate said:

One thing I notice is that we've got a complete absence of opinion on the topic of how the forum should be aligned from those who use it the most - those who would be moved to "men 4 men". Perhaps they could add some weight to this discussion?

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If it went to m4m and w4w and then the so-called straight guys somewhere else would be OK. I used to say that I was bi, but I find myself wanting to find a nice man for a serious relationship. I have not dated a women in seven years, but have a difficult time with my sexuality in my area. I also have to say that I have joined in on some of the raunchier threads of glbt, but just for a little fun. It can't all be serious right? With that being said, I would like somewhere that I could discuss things more seriously and in a personal way without every thread being about what you like about giving head, but I wouldn't mind seeing the m4m and f4f combined. I enjoy conversations with women as well.

I had to edit this and add that I am also tired of getting nothing but pm's saying 'love your ass in your av'. I know I could just change my av, but I like it.

onemadvagabond said:

If it went to m4m and w4w and then the so-called straight guys somewhere else would be OK. I used to say that I was bi, but I find myself wanting to find a nice man for a serious relationship. I have not dated a women in seven years, but have a difficult time with my sexuality in my area. I also have to say that I have joined in on some of the raunchier threads of glbt, but just for a little fun. It can't all be serious right? With that being said, I would like somewhere that I could discuss things more seriously and in a personal way without every thread being about what you like about giving head, but I wouldn't mind seeing the m4m and f4f combined. I enjoy conversations with women as well.

I had to edit this and add that I am also tired of getting nothing but pm's saying 'love your ass in your av'. I know I could just change my av, but I like it.

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If there is something you felt needs to be discussed, and it isn't in an existing thread, there is no rule preventing you from starting the thread yourself.

Sure it might not be as popular as one about obsessed about sex, but at least you have put it out there. Odds are if you are thinking about something, so is someone else.

FYI, I must be going blind, but when I first saw your pic, I thought it was an interesting 6 sided triangulated quilt piece. It wasn't until I zoomed in that I realized that it was panties and perhaps something else in the middle. If someone sees an ass out of your underware clothes photo, maybe they just want to talk about sex.

My idea for the forum names is "Bi Guys n Gals chat" and "LGBT discussions"

But I really don't know which one should be the 'main' forum. IMO, the GLBT personals should be right at hand also...

hmmm... not sure if the words chat and discussions are too close and likely to get confused when you have a dick in your hand... Much of non-discussion is posting photos anyway. I'm stickying with Play

stickygirl said:

hmmm... not sure if the words chat and discussions are too close and likely to get confused when you have a dick in your hand... Much of non-discussion is posting photos anyway. I'm stickying with Play

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There ya go! You nailed the best name!

There should be a LGBT Discussion forum and a

"If There's a Dick in Your Hand..." forum!

Perfect!

Bi Gals n Guys Playground

LGBT Chat

Hey guys,

Here's the thing.

Laurel is the one who makes decisions. Not me, and not anyone else, other than Laurel.

So here's what you gotta do if you have a suggestion for changing the forum.

First, make a thread outlining your ideas explicitly so other people can understand them. Get feedback from other participants about your specific plan.

Then, if everybody in the thread is in agreement, make a poll. Polls tend to get eyeballs more than discussion threads, so there will be even more people in on it. If 2/3 of the votes support the change, then you can send the idea to Laurel. Not me - Laurel.

That's how to do it. I can't change the forum, Laurel can. It's got to go to her.

We can do explicit! Agreement? .. oh nuts

My fingers keep on writing invective that I have to delete

Maybe we can simply pull up the original request thread. Because it's the exact.

Same.

Thing.

And as far as I can see it's the same people taking the same positions, too.

(EDIT) Oh, wait-- this thread here IS the original thread!

I see that in fact, the official discussion thread is not nearly the thing that I was proposing in the first place, which I am now re-proposing.

I think stickygirl and stella are on the right track with making one for play and one for chat. Just my two cents.

Okay, here's some boilerplate:

Hi Folks!
We have a proposal for the GLBT forums;

we think it would be a good idea to rename this forum; called "Bi Guys n Gals Playground" which would be the fun place for gay sex talk, bicurious chatter, TG and CD dressup, panties whatever-- no holds barred except of course bestiality and under age.

Then, we create a sub forum called "LGBT talk" where we could have those discussions about identity, relationships, sexuality.


Or something like that.
My question is; which one should be the 'parent' forum? We want them both to be really easy and obvious to find.

Is there a way for them to be pinned to the top of each other? (I think there is, inherent in the Vbulliten software)

(one problem is that the more sticky posts a forum accumulates the less pride of place subforums have)

Does anyone also think it would be better to bring the GLBT personals under the same umbrella so folks would find them easier to get to?


Anythign else?

Etoile said:

Hey guys,

Here's the thing.

Laurel is the one who makes decisions. Not me, and not anyone else, other than Laurel.

So here's what you gotta do if you have a suggestion for changing the forum.

First, make a thread outlining your ideas explicitly so other people can understand them. Get feedback from other participants about your specific plan.

Then, if everybody in the thread is in agreement, make a poll. Polls tend to get eyeballs more than discussion threads, so there will be even more people in on it. If 2/3 of the votes support the change, then you can send the idea to Laurel. Not me - Laurel.

That's how to do it. I can't change the forum, Laurel can. It's got to go to her.

Click to expand...

Simple.

Thanks!

Stella_Omega said:

Okay, here's some boilerplate:

Hi Folks!
We have a proposal for the GLBT forums;

we think it would be a good idea to rename this forum; called "Bi Guys n Gals Playground" which would be the fun place for gay sex talk, bicurious chatter, TG and CD dressup, panties whatever-- no holds barred except of course bestiality and under age.

Then, we create a sub forum called "LGBT talk" where we could have those discussions about identity, relationships, sexuality.


Or something like that.
My question is; which one should be the 'parent' forum? We want them both to be really easy and obvious to find.

Is there a way for them to be pinned to the top of each other? (I think there is, inherent in the Vbulliten software)

(one problem is that the more sticky posts a forum accumulates the less pride of place subforums have)

Does anyone also think it would be better to bring the GLBT personals under the same umbrella so folks would find them easier to get to?


Anythign else?

Click to expand...

First, I want to complement you for thinking about this and bring up ideas. I state that first so that you don't think what I'll state is anything more than comments & suggestions -- not complaints.


If you are going to re-arrange the top level forums, I think at a minimum that you need to hold onto the current parent forum names "GLBT Chatter" and "GLBT Personals" (if you choose to move them too). If you cannot automatically redirect someone selecting the old names, you'll want them around with ONE message: "FORUM MOVED TO ________________". This suggestion is because some people who are not frequent members, might get confused when see the forum is gone with no explanation.

I suggest that the parent forum should be an all inclusive name so that you avoid the dilemma of whether sex talk trumps serious talk or visa versa. Make sex & serious forums both subforums under the umbrella LGBT forum name that you come up with. Examples of catch all names might be like: "All things LGBT", or "Rainbow Room".

NOTE: I wouldn't care what the generic name is called with the exception that I detest the term queer. ("Queer" to me is one of the gay equivalents to the "N" word. I don't care if it is stated by a str8 person or not, it is highly offensive.)

So from what you stated and my thoughts, I see:

1) An all inclusive parent LGBT forum:
a) News & Issues sub forum
-) Not a forum, but all those sticky messages that currently come up right after News & Issues.
b) A Sexual in nature subforum
c) A serious in nature subforum
d) A personals subforum

You would be calling "c)" your LGBT Talk. You'd call the sexual subforum "b)" your "Bi gals n guys...". NOTE: You might want to make sure it is understood that Lesbians, Gays, and Trans also put sex talk there. Otherwise, you may end up with sex talk in both b & c. I take it that your goal for the serious sub-forum is that the threads should focus more on relationships, coming out, concerns, rather than consisting mainly of thread after thread of sex talk -- namely penises. All the more reason to make sure that non-bi LGBT know that is appropriate space for them too. Otherwise, you may find there to be too much "penis" talk in the serious subform.

That's my umteen cents.

I'm thinking similar, Mikey, thanks

One way to handle it would be to make the "GLBT CHAT" link open up to a closed, no-post forum, featuring links to the subforums. The software could do that easily enough.

"Playground" and "Discussion?"

"GLBT ........... "as the forum title
a. "GLBT Play" For bi-guys and bi-girls and lesbians and gays and Trans* to play .... the clue could be in the title though
b. Rename "News and Issues" to "GLBT Discussions" because in the past there hasn't been much news posted and besides that would be the place to discuss it. That we all that has to happen is re-title what we have.

...is that what you had in mind Stella, Mikey?

I'm not sure why any extra sub-forums would be needed because it would only confuse binary thinkers

The Personals variations have their own heading but no harm in simply making a permanent link to it someplace