Dark Voices

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Every picture tells a story, don't it?
But me thinks the devil plays among the details.
The individual strokes hidden in layer.
That's what fascinates me about art. Interesting piece, trixter

Ah hah! There it is~the twist
Knew it was there
I just didn't post my first comment quick enough
Love those individual strokes the casual observer misses
Forest and trees
Kudos!

pensivepoet said:

Ah hah! There it is~the twist
Knew it was there
I just didn't post my first comment quick enough
Love those individual strokes the casual observer misses
Forest and trees
Kudos!

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LOL, well it's no secret I'm a bit twisted, or would that be bent. Like the switchback arrow signs you see driving through the mountains. You know, over the river and through the wood to where ever the path leads. I even have a basket full of goodies to deliver if I ever get anywhere.

What you fail to realise is that it's done
you can't even see beyond the leaves
don't even know a tree exists
or that it's about to fall
scale down small
simple words
so you get
what
I'm
tryin
to
Say

what are you trying to say?
arc of spittle
cobra fast poison
grunt of exertion
the dance is on

And done,

the camera runs at three frames a second
it should only see you fall down
like a kite that lost its wind

all you can do is lay on the ground
in your own urine
breakdancing a fit of blunt force trauma
gurgling froth

While I pray you don't die
and the camera blinked.

pensivepoet said:

Every picture tells a story, don't it?
But me thinks the devil plays among the details.
The individual strokes hidden in layer.
That's what fascinates me about art. Interesting piece, trixter

Click to expand...

I have a feeling you knew what was coming or at least had a very good idea, I also sense butters knew or suspected the twist, can I ask you what twigged you, co I totally missed all bar the surface layering, as you know.

todski28 said:

I have a feeling you knew what was coming or at least had a very good idea, I also sense butters knew or suspected the twist, can I ask you what twigged you, co I totally missed all bar the surface layering, as you know.

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LMAO
I was reading meters in her neighborhood (she's using way too much electricity) and her shades were up.
Any good meter man worth his salt never passes up the chance to window peep.
Pretty boring. She was in a yellow housecoat, eating a twinkie, scratching her ass.
So i checked out her computer.
But the next house? Holy hell, that broad's crazy!

pensivepoet said:

LMAO
I was reading meters in her neighborhood (she's using way too much electricity) and her shades were up.
Any good meter man worth his salt never passes up the chance to window peep.
Pretty boring. She was in a yellow housecoat, eating a twinkie, scratching her ass.
So i checked out her computer.
But the next house? Holy hell, that broad's crazy!

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I fricken knee you guys did that, I ran round the streets warning people just last week got medicated and tranquilized for my trouble and you just openly admit it!

todski28 said:

I fricken knee you guys did that, I ran round the streets warning people just last week got medicated and tranquilized for my trouble and you just openly admit it!

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You'd be surprised what's in my tool belt. That aint grease on my dickeys.
But nothin good ever happens at trix's. Though i did catch her shaving her pits one day.
She has nice tits.

pensivepoet said:

You'd be surprised what's in my tool belt. That aint grease on my dickeys.
But nothin good ever happens at trix's. Though i did catch her shaving her pits one day.
She has nice tits.

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LOL. Y'all are just wrong! But funny!

Trixareforkids said:

LOL. Y'all are just wrong! But funny!

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Well i thought they were nice
I like pierced nipples

pensivepoet said:

Well i thought they were nice
I like pierced nipples

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Yowch! Well then get some.
You musta got me mixed up with the neighbor. I don't even have pierced ears.

Trixareforkids said:

Yowch! Well then get some.
You musta got me mixed up with the neighbor. I don't even have pierced ears.

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Ok, i'll play along
It was the lady on walnut ave
*wink* *wink*

Why am i hearing charlie daniels sing~i don't even have a garage! You can call home and ask my wife!

pensivepoet said:

Ok, i'll play along
It was the lady on walnut ave
*wink* *wink*

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Don't cha mean
Wank wank

Trixareforkids said:

Don't cha mean
Wank wank

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You can see in my truck?

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Trixareforkids said:

I spied with my little eye
Another little eye winking at me
Poor thing was all read and weepy
Couldn't help but have some sympathy
As I watched he was beat
I didn't recoil or retreat
Just gave him something else
To cry about

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Maybe it's just allergies?
Lubricant can make it feel better

High pitch
Scrape that cuts the air
pierces the barrier between us
silence
the knife squeaks again
on a plate of porcelain

flinch reaction one eye scrunched
as if it can block the sound
that emanantes from each slice
deviled sausage and mash
he cuts his potatoes just so we know
who is the only one allowed to make noise

can't stomach the stuff and he knows
he waits for a penalty infringement
in the laws laid down no yellow cards
in this game, they're all red
read out like the riot acts

can't let his slop slip into my gullet
dry heaves
wrack as force is not enough to overcome
natural body function
I can see his wry grin as he loads
up the plates and swings

fist connects just above my left eye
and adds a delicate splatter of sauce
to my pristine white potatoes
fist- wall-roof-light-wall-floorboards-table leg
kaleidoscope together in a blur
words slur scream through partial deaf haze

"Get up you little cunt, or you get the boot"
dizzy carnival ride head
staggers left right fall
table leg
boot and spittle
drop in slow motion serenity
gravity is too heavy for me

saliva lands first, a sprinkle of DNA
before the leather sole sinks into my side
the dull thud of meat hit
with a tenderizer precision
that wet crunch-crack as ribs separate
the break from the pain as it fades into white

Hospital light
lies as I try to explain how
I fell off the back step playing ball
through lips so swollen I can almost see them
every breath scrapes like knives on dinner plates
as he stands behind the doctor
with a wry grin

even if i knew this wasn't autobiographical it's so painful to read

so very well written. chances are it can be tweaked, but right now i can't see beyond my inital horrified reaction. with your improvement in writing, tods, this dark material has even greater impact, like a boot to the ribs making it hard to breathe.

butters said:

even if i knew this wasn't autobiographical it's so painful to read

so very well written. chances are it can be tweaked, but right now i can't see beyond my inital horrified reaction. with your improvement in writing, tods, this dark material has even greater impact, like a boot to the ribs making it hard to breathe.

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Agreed, powerful, disturbing. I'm still feeling it. Stanza 2 grabs you by the throat and doesn't let go.

butters said:

even if i knew this wasn't autobiographical it's so painful to read

so very well written. chances are it can be tweaked, but right now i can't see beyond my inital horrified reaction. with your improvement in writing, tods, this dark material has even greater impact, like a boot to the ribs making it hard to breathe.

Click to expand...

greenmountaineer said:

Agreed, powerful, disturbing. I'm still feeling it. Stanza 2 grabs you by the throat and doesn't let go.

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thank you for the compliment, thanks for sharing an interesting memory of mine. I can see a few places where I could edit it down, and maybe thrown in some more ball game reference to give a stronger tie from the body of the piece to the end. but if two writers of your calibre have this to say then it did something right.

plus I wanted to use the word kaleidoscope but rather than using it as a metaphor I wanted it as a supplement to a description in mentally acting out the way a kaleidoscope works on the vision when you stare into one. Usually I see it used as mingling colours together.

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Long gone...

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