New Poetry Recommendations

UnderYourSpell said:

Body paint its greatly over rated

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Thank you; I've often wondered. I think I'd just rather have sex and then eat a Snickers bar, but I'm so vanilla.

Chocolate and saltiness dont mix if you get my drift ... I have tried mayonaiisse as I love it so but all that did was put me off it lol

January 1, 2008 PM Edition

I feel like a newspaper that comes out twice a day.

So of the handful of poems that were added after I did reviews this morning, there are three I want to recommend:

Two are by RoniB, a real sweetie who has been active submitting poems and on the forum lately. I think Rain Needs Me, the is a more polished piece. Still the first lines, about the object of affection and the latter part of the poem, a declaration of love, seem not to fit together well to me. I'm thinking that maybe some transitional lines about how these two people connected would make it more cohesive. Triocular Curiosity, a is an edgy, ambitious piece. Very interesting construction that seems well suited to slam poetry. Still, I think it needs some editing, both poems do, particularly a decision about initial capitalizations, which seem random to me, a reader. Both poems seem to owe something to ee cummings, but I'm not sure I get how some of Roni's stylistic flourishes support the themes of the respective poems. Then again, I often don't get it in cummings' poems, either, so see for yourself.

And by all means, read syzygy by ElmerGlew, a newish poet whose writing I'm increasingly um stuck on. It's only four lines, but it's a beautiful image, the text works perfectly with the title, syzygy, (which comes from the Greek "to yoke together," and means astronomical or astrological conjoining), and Elmer makes every word count. Sometimes you only need a few lines.

And that is it for me. Please read, vote and comment, blah blah, etc., etc., and enjoy the new year.

UnderYourSpell said:

Chocolate and saltiness dont mix if you get my drift ... I have tried mayonaiisse as I love it so but all that did was put me off it lol

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Lol! You are a very funny lady, you know that? I like mayo, too, but usually on rye. I keep getting these images of me saying "Oh baby, I love your liverwurst."

My dear I can waffle for England but for some reason it's not right here ...doesn't seem the right niche somehow. I seem to excell in small pieces of personal ramblings.... not poetry nor stories ... just the funny things I see in life but I can't make them poetic. Which is a shame as I would love to share and make you laugh

addendum to Angeline's addendum

shadow

RoniB said:

I thank you for your insightful observations, Angeline. In fact, i found them so insightful that i re-worked each piece: Just a few tweaks. But, alas, i guess i tweaked one too many times ... i submitted the reworked versions as EDITs and they were deleted. So, the links provided in Angeline's original post won't work. All this of course BEGS me to look at the works again again [sic] before i reresubmit them.

Thanks again, Angeline ... from the faux-sweetie to the real one.

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That explains what's happening {or rather, not happening} this morning. Those two titles are still listed under New Poems although they have been pulled. Which means that the New Poems list hasn't been updated yet. Guess today's New Poems will be a late hit — probably about the time I opt for a power nap.

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Wednesday's Review

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With my head about to explode, I took a NyQuil induced power nap. Now that I'm back, I see we finally got the New Poems up. I'll be back shortly with my findings while I'm still in a state of wanting a 24-hour nap.


AnonAndAnon posts his submission from the December Contest, In the Spring Time. Has such a feel of a father's wistful retrospective. Give it another read, now that's it out from the constraints of a competition.


ElmerGlew is at it again on the 5/5 thread. Today's posting from the thread is topographic, another fine illustration of the effect of keeping your wording sparse. So I'll do the same and let you just read it.


doctordorothy has a revealing piece up today in Confession Electrified. Okay guys, admit it, it's nice when the lady barber is rubbing up against you but it is frustrating that you have to just sit there and can't respond. Here is a confession that seems to take you into the mind of that lady barber. It's a tad bit prosey but it does get its image through. Hmmmm - I do need to get a haircut.


That's it for today. There are several more that might appeal to you today, but for me in my present state, they just seemed to fall short. So go ahead if you want more and check out the full range of today's New Poems. As always, remember to read, vote, comment ~ it's the least you can do. Above all, comment ~ a fair exchange for the pleasure of reading free poetry.



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Thursday

7 new poems at 7 in the morning. Maybe more will show up later. Maybe not.

Read jukebox by ElmerGlew. Good, good poetry.
drop the needle in
her worn worn groove

we live out better times
however much they're harsh
or wicked scratched
and low fidelity

And give You're new here? by hmmnmm a try.
Meanwhile, in
academy caverns,
musty pricks
hone rusted sickles,
improve tools to kill
indolent spirit unfit


Okay, that's it for now, unless more show up.

My last post read "unless more show up." I didn't see more but RoniB was nice enough to let me know that more, at least one more, will be showing up.

He Let Me Down
by RoniB©
He was not as he defined himself
In my dreams.
Could I forfeit consciousness,
Settle in dust he blew from dreams
If only to define him?

Once again, I will be back with more, if even more show up.

Thursday Review - Part III

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The more I think about it, the more I am convinced that among the several worthy poems finally up yesterday, you absolutely must read the two wonderful posts from Tristesse2. Her Zen in the Woodpile is wonderfully sparse in its description of the process it takes to have a hearth warming fire and its calming meditative effects, once it's built. The other poem she had posted, Heartless, took me a couple reads before I finally got it. Be forewarned that there appears to be a mistake in the 4th line. Other than that just keep the poem's title in mind and you should be able to capture the title's state of mind.

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Friday, January 4, 2008

I waited until later to write today's new poems review since it takes a while for the list to settle down.

steve porter brings us two poems, a dark sonnet, My Love is Like A Fallen Rose evokes a real melancholy as you weep with the narrative voice and sorrow at the passing of love and my favourite of the pair, This is a cultural exchange is fantastic description of a moment between two beings. I can't really say why it floors me in a poetic sense, but I just love this.

I really like Vox's offering, Junction. There are a couple of small issues that could be corrected to improve the poem but apart from the flaws, the actual poetry is very good.

The Color of Night is a lovely love poem by sweet GA peaches. It may be a little syrupy but sometimes, honey is all that's needed to lighten a day.

hmmnmm's been playing with his food and you should go check out how his Subtly Suggestive poem sounds.

I am blessed with beautiful love poetry to read today. Jamison whispers this grace before sleep. Laid Bare is about being naked, and no, not in that way! It's beautiful neo-alt.
He has a second poem Spinner's Gleam to wrap you up in word play.

Deep Asleep shouts his emotional pain into our heads in his excellently shaped poem, notes on becoming a man. All I can say is that if you don't read it, you're missing a poem that performs on the page.

ElmerGlew has two brief offerings that are as stark in their imagery as they are spare in their words. A really good example of less is more for all of us neophytes.

Now, while there isn't a damned thing wrong with the other poetry from today, I simply had a bumper crop to sort from. I hope that other readers will step up and leave a review if there's something I missed or a word or two they'd like to add. Don't forget everyone has a unique thought about the poetry they read and that's what creates a rich flavour note inside the bouquet of the wine we sip. Have a glass of life on me.

Take care, everyone and have a good weekend.

Saturday's Review

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Oh so quiet on the PF&D today; everyone off on a poetic sabbatical? At least it's far quieter than the war on the AH thread. So, out of the thirteen posts, here are four quickie picks for your consideration.


RoniB continues to showcase her talents with a piece that makes me think of a modern Shakespeare in Razed by Wolves. Keep an eye on this talent.


Curiouswife expresses in Deep Down a feeling I bet many may share after the deluge of holiday gifts and may now face a deluge of thank you notes to send.


ElmerGlew has another of his creative short pieces posted, an allegorical legend.


darkitude has a pair out today but the one that stands out is Alarm Clock that the reader can interpret either literally or metaphorically. Give it a check & see.

That's a wrap today.

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No new poems up yet for Sunday so far. I'll check back in later after they've had a chance to wake and come downstairs....

champagne1982 said:

steve porter brings us two poems, a dark sonnet, My Love is Like A Fallen Rose evokes a real melancholy as you weep with the narrative voice and sorrow at the passing of love and my favourite of the pair, This is a cultural exchange is fantastic description of a moment between two beings. I can't really say why it floors me in a poetic sense, but I just love this.

I

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What did I say last week about NOT being a Steve Porter fan, I've run out of disclaimers. I second this. I don't like what you English peeps do with a sonnet, but this is in the top ten of mine, recommend this highly. The other one has Chinese people and Peter Lorre, like I can tell them apart, eh? Read 'em damn it, see why I've become a Steve Porter fan.
Dare you.

Angeline said:

My pick of the day is This place blows by the sometimes curmudgeonly twelveoone. It's spare and seemingly simple, but (and this is what I like in much of his poetry) it is very open to interpretation. How should the reader define "blows"? "Shingles"? "I AM JUST"? And the ending, given some of the discussion on the forum of late, is pretty damn funny. Made me laugh, anyway. There's a lot to learn in this little poem about word choice and line breaks. It deserves at least three reads so you can see the variety of interpretations open to you.

Peace and stay warm and safe today.
Angeline

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took years of middle management and being a cult leader to learn how to write that way - I was hoping someone would catch "I AM JUST". A slightly different spin on Senna Jawa's therory.

New Poems Review 1/6/08

14 New Poems at this point of the day.

medman gives us 2 erotic submissions- Moving Parts and The Mechanics of Txt Msg Haiku, which I think would be better if combined into 1 poem, and fleshed out a bit more. Moving Parts could just as easily be about an engine...I even think that's what it's about.

Paws des dieux by RoniB stood out to me for several reasons. Interesting and clever phrasing:
Plied French tuxedos, tendered flowers, breathed port, offered,
being an example.
It is a fun read I would recommend.

also .vugar.2.0 from Silver-Dunn. The beginning pulls you right in-
i like it ugly.
that is the beauty.
and the rest expands upon it. I like the atmosphere and the presentation in this poem.

That's it for me for today. If I have left out your favorite, or you wish to add to or decimate my comments, please feel free. Please remember to read, comment and vote.

Have a nice week all...

adding one...
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=345804
My Witching Hour by Swallowedscream. It has a mysterious feel to it, everything is not out in the open, which is good for starters. I would like to see her develop and think things out, she has good poetic instincts.

overlooked....
If you please, my sweet little mistress,
my delicacy, my witty one,
command my coming at noon --
How can you not love poetry that starts out like that? Easy if it continues too much in that vein.
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=345200
Catullus XXXII by zukethecuke has that one line surprise that throws it out of kilter. He is out of kilter, check out his other submission also.

twelveoone said:

took years of middle management and being a cult leader to learn how to write that way - I was hoping someone would catch "I AM JUST". A slightly different spin on Senna Jawa's therory.

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I had to read it a few times (three in all) to catch the nuances. When I see a poem that seems spare and simple, I always reread at least once to try and catch shades of meaning. I find writing that way very difficult to do well intentionally.

Between Chimes...

twelveoone said:

adding one...
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=345804
My Witching Hour by Swallowedscream. It has a mysterious feel to it, everything is not out in the open, which is good for starters. I would like to see her develop and think things out, she has good poetic instincts.

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I admire twelveoone's judgment and skill of discernment.

Regarding "My Witching Hour," I’m tempted to quote the entire poem, there is so much in it that is so stunningly wonderful, for me. To define “wonderful:” the usually subtle alliteration; the enjambment within stanzas, and at the ends of most of them, pulling me along like a wagon being pulled by a horse; strikingly surprising phrases, that rise far beyond the prose of everyday speech; the metaphor; the unusual, sometimes almost oxymoronic conceits; the emotion; and probably a few other things I haven’t really figured out yet.

It would be silly to quote the whole thing, since the whole thing is already posted! But I do want to quote a few things that grab me. “Feathers turn in my belly,” for example. “The dark tickle of longing-” … “sucked me in and left me open. / left me open - / left me…”

This is what I mean by a sort of oxymoronic phrase, illustrating emotional pain in a most unusual way: “…and your sighs / burn my ears…” Sighs, like fire. Sighs, those gentle involuntary exhalations, so soft and gentle, burning like fire.

There’s something going on with the chimes that I don’t quite understand, but somehow I don’t ever arrive at the point where I feel like it matters very much.

I do feel like I owe it to the poet to point out a couple of … well, in my opinion, blemishes.

I don’t like “facilitating my flagellation.” It’s too cutely alliterative for my taste, and also kind of mucks up the clarity of the poem. It’s not self-flagellation, apparently, so what’s going on? I do choke a little in that spot.

Third from the last stanza also was not as clear as the rest. I finally figured it out, but I think it could be written more clearly. I generally don’t like making suggestions to poets, because poems are their babies; it’s like saying, “Your baby needs plastic surgery, and here’s what I’d do…”

But I think saying “in-between place” might come closer to expressing the poet’s intent.

I have my usual gripes about swallowedscream’s punctuation. Ever the tinkerer, I’d play around with it a bit, correcting the extra space here, replacing an ellipsis with a colon there, making the dashes prettier. But that’s pretty minor, nit-picky stuff.

Swallowedscream and I are friends, and have been corresponding off and on since about August, I think. She often shows me her poems, and I show her some of mine sometimes.

She showed me this one, and after I assured her that it was not “craptastic” as she sometimes refers to her work, she decided she’d better slap it up quickly, before she decided to throw it away.

I’m very glad she didn’t. Please pardon me for being so long-winded.

January 8, 2008

There are 15 new poems up this afternoon (as compared to 3 this morning so I'm glad I waited to do this).

Sometimes you can read a poem and it's flowers and mountain peaks or love: you don't have to bring a lot of outside knowledge to appreciate it. Sometimes it helps to be well read or at least willing to drink a little research with your poetry. Such is the case with diogenes, today's offering from ElmerGlew. If you don't know who Diogenes was or what he valued, this poem will seem meaningless to you. If you know or take the time to learn, it's a little morality play. I'm still not sure why a sandwich is clever (I made an apple clafouti today; now that felt clever), but maybe I'm missing an inference. Still, it's good for the soul to work for one's poetry, whether writing it or reading it.

Champagne (the new and improved version 2008) has a lovely memory of a grandmother in Nana. I never had a farm grandma, but I imagine most of us can relate to the kitchen equals love associations that mean 'grandmother'. This poem is also poignent because it suggests loss here and there, loss of a loved one and of a child's simple beliefs. There are some excellent images, especially in the second through fourth strophes and a kenning! (Okay, not the Senna Jawa kind.) I'd cut back a bit here and there, and either make the loss associations sharper or gone, but it's a beautiful piece of writing that (in its best parts) conjures a child's vision, and that's a very good thing.

So how often can you do new poems reviews and find both Diogenes and Ulysses? Not too shabby, you poets! And so, you must read Brave Ulysses Lament by AnonAndAnon. Now I'm of two minds on this poem. Up to the fourth strophe, I'm reading along, marveling at the lovely Victorian (or maybe Romantic) era rhythm; I couldn't decide whether it had more of a Browning dramatic monologuishness or a Keats-like edge to it. And then the poem brcomes very ambitious, telling a modern narrative that goes on and on...and on. And it's good (and actually very much in the spirit of a dramatic monologue), but I couldn't stop thinking that I was reading two poems schmushed together somewhere around the fifth strophe. You'll have to read it yourself and see what you think. And no matter what else you think, read those first four strophes aloud to hear that gorgeous rhythm.

WomanPariah offers a tale with a rather chilling ending in Sanitary, the. There are some absolutely wonderful images (like Sparkling sideways), and yet I feel it could be strained down to a very terse few strophes to make more of an impact. Just my opinion; you'll have to read it to see if you agree.

And finally I have to mention Le Dejuner, s’il vous plaît by erosromantic. It's a heavily double-entendre menu recitation that's just so unctuous I had to recommend it. Sort of like being romanced by Jeeves, which isn't exactly my fantasy, but maybe it's yours. A little too much ham on the menu for my tastes, clever though it may be.

You may find other submissions today more to your liking, so by all means recommend them here if you like. And don't forget to add a comment if you read and/or vote.

Peace.

Not my review day, but

You must read What is may never be by WomanPariah. It's a lesson in how to make a sonnet timely and interesting in 2008. It's a very smooth read because of wonderful line breaks and enjambment with terrific word play. I don't get excited about poems I read here very often anymore, but this one really grabbed me. Great writing, WP!

Wednesday's Review

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Here's a recommendation I'm more than happy to second in my review today.

Angeline said:

You must read What is may never be by WomanPariah. It's a lesson in how to make a sonnet timely and interesting in 2008. It's a very smooth read because of wonderful line breaks and enjambment with terrific word play. I don't get excited about poems I read here very often anymore, but this one really grabbed me. Great writing, WP!

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Though in my praise my thoughts'd be simpler. It has a classic feel to savor while exploring seemingly labyrinthian word play.

Now, after that, let me approach the balance of today's 21 new postings and see if any tickle my tummy enough to suggest you view them...


Victoria_Lucas is new to Lit and while I really couldn't decide, yeah or nay, on her first posting, today's, Mouth Harp is very much worth a read for its blues feeling sound. Some days you get the most pleasant reward in reading these new poems.


For those who may have missed it, she's baaaack. sweet GA peaches treats us to some Breakfast in Bed. Not your usual wake up call and, while strongly suggestive, isn't near as crude and vulgar as the majority of so called erotic poems. There's a faint touch of naughty fun in this. Give it a feel.


For those to whom such scenes are appealing, darkitude has another of her submissive oriented pieces in Just Rewards. In keeping with her more cerebral orientation for this genre, here she explores the multiple possible meanings to the word Just. Give it a read.


That's it for today. One excellent, three fairly good, and the rest for you to decide. What can I say? It's my weird taste showing! Look 'em over and see what you think. Go on, you can do it; you can read, vote, comment ~ it's the least you can do. Above all, comment ~ a fair exchange for the pleasure of reading free poetry.


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Thursday

By the time I post this, it will be around 10 in the morning here in VA, and there are still only 6 poems on the new poems list. I know more may show up, but I may not be able to do this review later today. And I will try to check back but sometimes I forget. There are two poems by WitchyNiki: A sight to see and Wolf MoonIf you read one, make it Wolf Moon. It's the better of the two and has this interesting line: "A chuckle slides across the flesh."

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Wake-Mares: A Masturbatory Exercise by WomanPariah
Masturbatory Exercise? Well, I had to read this one.

Angel troops advance through timberland
With two-step march. Dance-camouflage near hides their plan.
Herds of gods, galoshes wet (two-cross leagues),
Slush through hinterland in born-again fatigues,
Squirm-wring my sweat,

Hmm... not what I expected. It certainly didn't bore me. It forced me to read it twice, maybe a third time. Definitely interesting enough for you to check out. I'll finish my coffee and jump back into this poem one more time.

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Next we have Futility by hmmnmm
That's right. Hmmmmmmm. I love to play with that username. mmm mmm hmmmm hummmm. Okay, enough!
Nice, brief poem that will only take you seconds to read. The last stanza appealed to me the most.

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Pirate Love by ramonathompson
"An erotic parody of Soft Cell's Tainted Love
Inspired by Pirates of The Carribbean"
Sorry but I don't get it. I remember most of the song and this "poem" seems like it's mostly Tainted Love word for word, except for a few pirates thrown in. Oh, well, if you like parodies...

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Cheez Whiz Wizard by NoamZane
"[sung to the tune of "Won't get fooled again"]"
I suppose it's stupidly funny. If you want to laugh at a "deaf, blind, dumb" cheez whiz chef, then you'll like the poem.

Ever since I was a young chef
I’ve spread that Whiz so fine.
From Burma to the Yukon
been spreading all the time.
But I ain’t seen nothing like him
in all my kitchen biz,
that deaf, dumb and blind chef
sure spreads a mean Cheez Whiz.

Today, Friday 11 January, there are four New Poems currently posted. You can make your own decisions about which to enjoy, since they'll only take a short time to read and make no mistake, there are a couple of gems over there.

I have a feeling there'll be more posted later, so as long as it's possible, I'll check back and make sure you won't be missing anything. Have a good day and weekend everyone.