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A proposal for the GLBT forums

kbate said:
A little ad hominem to go with your lunch?
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Your argument seems to be predicated on your vision of how this forum should be. Therefore, my about observation how you actually use this forum (which is to say not much) is pertinent.

But to answer your argument, which is that no one posts to this sub forum-- take a look at the thread titles. Most of them are about abuse and violations of rights, good news doesn't have a long shelf life. I can get that news at huffpost ,or a bazillion other places on the internet. That's why I don't post in this sub forum-- Most of the time, I try not to look at even what the 'most recent post' is.

On the other hand, I have seen women try to start threads 'downstairs' and give up after the umpteenth dude turned the whole thread into all about men.

As one of the few regular female posters in this forum I field PMS from women saying they don't understand why the forum that is labelled GLBT is allowed to be so disrespectful to lesbians. I'll start forwarding those PMS to Etoile I guess, but recently I began pointing them towards fetlife's W4W groups, where they can actually talk to women.

Rename downstairs so that GLBT people don't expect a serious forum. Call it "The Tea Room" or "Cocksucker's alley." :rolleyes:

Call this forum "LGBT life" -- or flat out make it the "Lesbian forum" -- and maybe kbate would have a reason to post here once in a while.
 
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Stella_Omega said:
Your argument seems to be predicated on your vision of how this forum should be. Therefore, my about observation how you actually use this forum (which is to say not much) is pertinent.

But to answer your argument, which is that no one posts to the sub forum-- take a look at the thread titles. Most of them are about abuse and violations of rights, good news doesn't have a long shelf life. I can get that news at huffpost ,or a bazillion other places on the internet. That's why I don't post in this forum-- Most of the time, I try not to look at even what the 'most recent post' is.

On the other hand, I have seen women try to start threads 'downstairs' and give up after the umpteenth dude turned the whole thread into all about men. As one of the few regular female posters in this forum I field PMS from women saying they don't understand why the forum that is labelled GLBT is allowed to be so disrespectful to lesbians. I'll start forwarding those PMS to Etoile I guess, but recently I began pointing them towards fetlife's W4W groups, where they can actually talk to women.

Rename downstairs so that GLBT people don't expect a serious forum. Call it "The Tea Room" or "Cocksucker's alley." :rolleyes:

Call this forum "LGBT life" -- or flat out make it the "Lesbian forum" -- and maybe kbate would have a reason to post here once in a while.
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Hmm, don't know, if we make it the lesbian forum, then we might get into those debates about who is legitimately allowed in there, do we include pre op t gals, non op t gals, males who id as lesbians, F to M's in transition or not.....it ends up being like Eric Idle's character in "Monty Python's Life of Brian" when every time the group is discussing actions actions the Romans, and they talk about rights, he keeps piping up "and women identified as women but not born that way" *lol*

Plus, I don't know, if we name this "Lesbian forum",wouldn't the typical discussion topics, like the proper flannel shirt to wear with a tool belt or which brand of saw blade cuts linoleum, be better off on the DIY website? *quickly running away to hide* (obviously, said with much facetious humor,but still be in my cave with the titanium steel door until Stella stops looking for me....:)
 
Actually, you have a real good point! :eek:

how about W4W and M4M? or how about "bi guys" and "LGBT"
 
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Stella_Omega said:
Actually, you have a real good point! :eek:

how about W4W and M4M? or how about "bi guys" and "LGBT"
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As long as genuinely bisexual women would be accepted with (hopefully) a minimum of "Rarrrgh, you're not a gold-star lesbian, rarrrgh!" bullshit, I'd likely post here more often, too. The horny cocksuckers remind me too much of work, and a lot of the "curious" women make me think of a swingers' party gone horribly wrong. I, too, don't really appreciate being looked at as a fetish delivery.

I'm certainly not advocating for a forum for people only like me. I (mostly) have that in BDSM. But there aren't a whole lot of threads here currently that I feel comfortable with or interested in posting to. Would a change help? Maybe. I like to think so.

But, again, I don't post here that often, so don't think I'm, like, demanding things should be a certain way to suit me.

Regardless, I hope some sort of solution that's agreeable to the regular posters here can be found. Good luck, y'all. :rose:
 
Private club eh

I see a lot of people that would like there own private club....but, more than willing to be members of others clubs. separate but un-equal

I believe there are....thousands of sites on the Whorl Why Web...specific for just what your suggesting.

currently masturbation thread....then...."Finally a thread for woman currently masturbating (woman only)... bit of a private club, eh??

What happened to the thought of equals...'FAIRNESS'. Willing opinions on every LIt thread....Now the suggestion... a private club....NO BI or straight allowed. certainly everyone has a pop. Psychology opinion on Bi and straight... guess not for the everyone but YOUR KIND....You...you whatever you are..

eh'well...to each there own... we still live in a 'somewhat' free country.

Best of luck in your endeavors...
 
Meh. Theatrics and hyperbole don't impress anyone.

Especially not when the words that you quote contradict what you claim I say.
 
Pointing out that you don't post to GLBT chatter isn't any sort of ad-hom, it isn't an insult. It's a verifiable fact. According to advanced search, you made three posts in 2012, two in 09. In 08 you were more like a regular. I visit every day, sometimes there's something to comment to, once in a while I start threads.

Those posts that you linked to tell us that the forum didn't work so good for some people from the beginning. And that you feel that there is no possible model between forum Nazism and the ugly anarchy of GB.

Some of us think there is something in between. We are asking if we can try something a little bit different.
 
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Enough of the tête-à-tête between you two. Enjoyable to read but it's gets nowhere. Stella you're right something needs to be done. I'm not one to have a say, as I've made a total of 45 post, most of which were merely to see if my fingers worked. I am not sure if I'll post many more, at least not here, if something doesn't change.

Truth is I don't see the GLBT board having much of substance to keep any lesbian coming back. Mostly horny bi ladies. I've nothing against being bi, nor being horny, but I'm also not a sex object, not all the time anyway, and it seems to me that to most of these women, other women are just that. Not all are like that and I surely see a few of the bi-curious girls as having a hard time being able to swim back up stream to hubby if they ever do take the plunge.

Truth is I've gotten more out of the BSDM board, lifestyles I'm actually clueless about, than I've gotten here. Something I've become curious about because of a few post Stella has made. I'm not sure I should thank you Stella or say damn you, look what you've gotten me into.

Anyway I just think something needs to change. What to change or how to do so I'm clueless. All I know is I don't think I'll come to the GLBT board very often if something doesn't change.
 
Dyslexicea said:
Enough of the tête-à-tête between you two. Enjoyable to read but it's gets nowhere. Stella you're right something needs to be done. I'm not one to have a say, as I've made a total of 45 post, most of which were merely to see if my fingers worked. I am not sure if I'll post many more, at least not here, if something doesn't change.

Truth is I don't see the GLBT board having much of substance to keep any lesbian coming back. Mostly horny bi ladies. I've nothing against being bi, nor being horny, but I'm also not a sex object, not all the time anyway, and it seems to me that to most of these women, other women are just that. Not all are like that and I surely see a few of the bi-curious girls as having a hard time being able to swim back up stream to hubby if they ever do take the plunge.

Truth is I've gotten more out of the BSDM board, lifestyles I'm actually clueless about, than I've gotten here. Something I've become curious about because of a few post Stella has made. I'm not sure I should thank you Stella or say damn you, look what you've gotten me into.

Anyway I just think something needs to change. What to change or how to do so I'm clueless. All I know is I don't think I'll come to the GLBT board very often if something doesn't change.
Click to expand...

There are bi women who feel this way, too, believe it or not. I've ranted about it before, so I'll try to keep it brief, but the curious women in relationships with men piss a lot people off by acting as if other women are supposed to be their on-demand sex dolls and then shove us on the back burner for the rest of the time because, oh, they like having sex with women, but they'd never be in a relationship with one--ew, that's just icky.

I honestly wish those women and the "straight men who aren't attracted to men but like cock" would stop calling themselves bi or that we could come up with a word that means "interested in relationships with both men and women" that people like me could use to describe ourselves. I think that a lot of the dislike of bi people comes from those types (who are often louder and therefore more often seen), rather than the bi people who have romantic relationships with both men and women.

I feel like I share more issues in common with lesbians than with what commonly passes as "bi" in most places, but I'm not a lesbian myself. I think there are probably bi men who have romantic relationships with both men and women who feel the same way, that they have more issues in common with gay men than with "Mr. I'm-Straight-And-Don't-Like-Men-But-I-Wanna-Suck-Dick."

Don't get me wrong. I don't wanna be the "genuinely bi" police or anything. I just see this shit from these people, and I find it...disheartening, I guess.
 
*bump*

BiBunny said:
I honestly wish those women and the "straight men who aren't attracted to men but like cock" would stop calling themselves bi or that we could come up with a word that means "interested in relationships with both men and women" that people like me could use to describe ourselves.
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I have seen both 'biromantic' and 'biamorous' to describe this. :rose:
 
Starting with post 113 where the thread was bumped.

Okay, so the issue as I see it is this. We need a place for fetishes that mimic queer stuff. I'm pretty cool with that, actually. It can be attached here, or attached to F&S - thoughts on that? As Stella noted, those threads really don't have a home now, they get shifted back and forth between F&S and here.

I'm not sure that we need separate gay and lesbian forums. The fact of the matter is that we cannot control where people post, and I have no interest in this being a place where we can. Frankly, if women want a "safe place" free from men, there are other forums for that; the underlying philosphy is that everyone here can post everywhere. I agree wholeheartedly that men "taking over" threads targeted to women is fantastically annoying, but according to the rules they have every right to participate in them. If you don't want to talk to men, try SHOE or the AfterEllen forums. There are men here, and that will not change. (Nor do I want it to, as they can indeed have interesting insights, and some even display a modicum of respect, though not all.) And like Safe_Bet said, we're stronger together. What we need is better self-policing, people need to not be jackasses. I'm not sure that's possible on a site where half the people are browsing with their dick in their hand, but that's what we need.

As for life vs sex...well, it's a sex board. What do we want from a sex board? The place is called Literotica. If we could get a subforum created for GLBT life, would there actually be a significant amount of threads there? I mean, we won't know until we try, but it's possible nothing would actually get posted. Like I said, the majority of people on this site only come when they're horny. It's unfortunate, IMO, because I love this community. I want to talk about gay life stuff (and just life stuff) with you guys. I like you. But I'm not sure there would be any more posts in a Life subforum than there are in News and Issues. (Which I am fine with renaming, it obviously doesn't get many posts.)

I think step 1 here is the GLBT-like fetish place. That should be our first plan. Once that is sorted, let's see what remains. Then we can figure out if a Life section should happen. Is that okay?

I'd love to see happiness in this forum for its 10th anniversary this May. Please forgive me if I am a little slow responding this month, I move back to the US April 1! :)


(By the way, I personally would love to have a "Ladies Lounge" but I am trying to speak as a moderator here, in terms of what I think is best for Lit. I hope folks can understand that I have a role here, aside from my personal opinion. :rose:)
 
Exclusive threads are unlikely to work simply because the title attracts the attention of very people it seeks to exclude. Surely the best way to deal with those random "I love boi-clitty jizz" is simply to ignore them: step over them like a downed drunk in a club. Giving them oxygen by hurling abuse on the thread doesn't work and interrupts the flow of discussion, which is of course exactly their aim.

There have been occasions when I thought a guy was being creepy, like some dude that you find suddenly whispering into your ear, but then, through being respectful, I discovered they had a genuine interest. If nothing else I've learnt that some people just have a poor way of introducing themselves.

There have also been posts by a few nervous lesbians or TGs who will make a comment that gets stomped on by people who should know better: result = they never post again. Ok we're not here to hold people's hands, but think back to your own first posts and remember how anxious you were and how hurtful negative comments can be. Those people who post once or twice then give up could be more interesting and have far more to contribute than some chatterbox like me.
Maybe we get the thread we deserve?
 
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BiBunny said:
I honestly wish those women and the "straight men who aren't attracted to men but like cock" would stop calling themselves bi or that we could come up with a word that means "interested in relationships with both men and women" that people like me could use to describe ourselves. I think that a lot of the dislike of bi people comes from those types (who are often louder and therefore more often seen), rather than the bi people who have romantic relationships with both men and women.
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I like and agree with ^^ THIS ^^ very, very, much.



Etoile said:
Starting with post 113 where the thread was bumped.

Okay, so the issue as I see it is this. We need a place for fetishes that mimic queer stuff. I'm pretty cool with that, actually. It can be attached here, or attached to F&S - thoughts on that? As Stella noted, those threads really don't have a home now, they get shifted back and forth between F&S and here.

I'm not sure that we need separate gay and lesbian forums. The fact of the matter is that we cannot control where people post, and I have no interest in this being a place where we can. Frankly, if women want a "safe place" free from men, there are other forums for that; the underlying philosphy is that everyone here can post everywhere. I agree wholeheartedly that men "taking over" threads targeted to women is fantastically annoying, but according to the rules they have every right to participate in them. If you don't want to talk to men, try SHOE or the AfterEllen forums. There are men here, and that will not change. (Nor do I want it to, as they can indeed have interesting insights, and some even display a modicum of respect, though not all.) And like Safe_Bet said, we're stronger together. What we need is better self-policing, people need to not be jackasses. I'm not sure that's possible on a site where half the people are browsing with their dick in their hand, but that's what we need.

As for life vs sex...well, it's a sex board. What do we want from a sex board? The place is called Literotica. If we could get a subforum created for GLBT life, would there actually be a significant amount of threads there? I mean, we won't know until we try, but it's possible nothing would actually get posted. Like I said, the majority of people on this site only come when they're horny. It's unfortunate, IMO, because I love this community. I want to talk about gay life stuff (and just life stuff) with you guys. I like you. But I'm not sure there would be any more posts in a Life subforum than there are in News and Issues. (Which I am fine with renaming, it obviously doesn't get many posts.)

I think step 1 here is the GLBT-like fetish place. That should be our first plan. Once that is sorted, let's see what remains. Then we can figure out if a Life section should happen. Is that okay?

I'd love to see happiness in this forum for its 10th anniversary this May. Please forgive me if I am a little slow responding this month, I move back to the US April 1! :)


(By the way, I personally would love to have a "Ladies Lounge" but I am trying to speak as a moderator here, in terms of what I think is best for Lit. I hope folks can understand that I have a role here, aside from my personal opinion. :rose:)
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Okay... You're right that you can't keep people out of any of the threads and that it MIGHT get better if you, as a Moderator", did have someplace to put all of the "I like dick/pussy, but I'm not REALLY gay/lesbian/bi" people someplace that they can perv on each other. I know that was the original intent of the Fetish Forum, but THAT got too hetero perv'ed and they all came back. (that seems to be more and more of an anti-GLBT forum, BTW).

So MY vote, for what it's worth, would be to change the "News" subforum into a "playground" for WHOMEVER and give you a place to put the non-REAL-LGBT posts. That would leave the main forum open for LGBT stuff (including lifestyle and news posts).

It would mean a lot of work for the Mod, however! :D

As for keeping the dude's out of the lesbian threads... I WANT to agree with Stickygirl. I KNOW I will still give the trolls shit for being manly men and being assholes though. That's just cuz they REALLY piss me off. **shrugs**
 
I think step 1 here is the GLBT-like fetish place. That should be our first plan.
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Oh, yes! yes, yes! And yes, I think attaching it to GLBT is the best plan, since here's where they want to bring it. For good reasons, at that.
Once that is sorted, let's see what remains. Then we can figure out if a Life section should happen. Is that okay?
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I think the wait and see plan is just fine-- you have my vote.

Thanks, Etoile! You've put some thought into this.
 
BTW, please do nudge me if I don't come back to this soon. Packing is really stressing me out, hah. Only 2.5 weeks left here in Japan! But I do want to give this attention.
 
Etoile said:
BTW, please do nudge me if I don't come back to this soon. Packing is really stressing me out, hah. Only 2.5 weeks left here in Japan! But I do want to give this attention.
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Hah okay-- you've given me permission!

What is "soon" for you?
 
kbate said:
Etoile,

About 2 years ago, I requested (demanded) a forum for those lesbians who think, act and speak exactly (and only) in the manner I enjoy. You still have not gone to task for me on this major (lit shattering) problem, therefore I must oppose your position as the "L" moderator.

Ideally, we should have separate forums for:

Gay men into Anal
Gay men Not into Anal
Gay men who are not sure they are yet gay men
Gay men who are not sure they are gay, but think they might want to suck a dick.
Straight men who are definitely not gay but might want to suck dick anyway.
One for each of above with (swallow).
Lesbians looking for lesbians
Bisexual women looking for lesbians who don't hate bisexual women
kbate and lesbians who think exactly like her
News concerning only Lesbian issues.
News concerning only Gay Issues
Transgender issues

Get on it. We're too homogenised and need to be separated into easily categorised groups - such that no person is forced to view a thread which may not be tailored to their individual tastes.

Thank you. I'll give you 4 days for this project.
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Has that fucking bitch Etoile not sorted this already?

Stella_Omega said:
I'm wondering why this matters to you, anyway. You seem to be very happy posting to GB.
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I ate weet-bix for breakfast this morning. I don't know why this matters to me, either.

Fuck you're a cock.

Stella, get off your high fucking horse. If you hadn't noticed, Laurel herself posts on Teh GB. Because it's all happening over there, moron.

People will post wherever the fuck they wanna post. Wake up to yourself.

Laurel! Dude, I don't believe for one second that we need to seperate the guys fron the gals. We are ONE and we will just have to LEARN to play nice.
 
I can't figure what is moving up here in a renamed News and what is staying down there but anything that separates the zombie-action from vaguely reasoned discussion is good... perhaps erection-free zones? :)
The Playgrounds are well understood and used, even though they're hidden away in Personals... Playgrinds, Laygrounds...
 
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