Ghis (closed)

"Yer mother never taught ya t' knit?" Kitty was genuinely surprised, and at Julia's offer, she chuckled softly, "Tha' sounds lovely, 'specially since I've got m' own li'l library from m' younger sons. But I still can't believe yer mum never taught ya t'make anythin'. If it's beneath a lady t'do it, who else'll do it? Here, all th' women're ladies, not jus' th' highborn like yerself." She turned her gaze to Valentina, "Val, love, can ya get me m'yarn an' such?"

"Of course," Valentina rose, stepping over to the corner beside the hearth to pick up a basket full of all manner of balls of yarn and knitting needles. She came to set the basket on a small table by Kitty's chair, and Kitty pulled out a white yarn ball and a pair of needles.

"Now, look 'ere, dearie," Kitty placed one needle in Julia's hand. "Ye make a slipknot on th' needle, see," her weak hands easily controlled the yarn and created the knot. "Leave yerself a li'l tail with th' end o' the yarn, then take the tail end an' th' workin' end in yer fingers and round yer thumb like so..." She explained slowly and showed Julia her every move, creating fifteen cast stitches. "Here," she placed the needle and yarn in Julia's hands. "Make yerself twenty more, jus' like I showed ya."

Kitty spent the afternoon teaching Julia with the utmost patience and great excitement as she picked up the skill, paying Julia far more attention and giving much more love and encouragement than her entire family combined. Valentina left them be, but was within earshot. As they reached a new row of stitches, Kitty sat back watching Julia quite proudly. "It's lovely havin' a lass about th' keep again. Val's good comp'ny but she's a warrior, ranks up yonder wi' Brogan in skill. In fact, I 'magine she could woop 'im if 'e made 'er mad 'nough. Nearly 'as a few times. An' 'sides Val, all th' women 'round 'ere are too busy with their li'l families t'keep an ol' woman like me comp'ny. 'Specially since I started wastin' away like I am." She didn't seem bothered that much by it though. "Real nice t'know a lady'll be about t' take care o' Brogan. Lad'll ferget t' eat when a lot's goin' on, ferget t' even try ta sleep 'r drink. But 'e's so good ta th' people..."

“My mother could never really be bothered with anything that did have to do with her son.” Julia said softly as she looked down at the needles in her hands and concentrated on making the rows just as Kitty had shown her. “Everything was for my brother. This marriage was for my brother.”

Her green eyes glanced towards her mother-in-law and she saw a little bit of pity in the woman’s face. That was certainly something that she never wanted anyone to feel for her…pity. The truth was if she hadn’t marriage Brogan, her brother would have taken her father’s throne and Inverness would have slaughtered them all. Now there was at least an alliance and her brother’s legacy was secured.

Julia smiled as Kitty excitedly talked about having another lass around to spend time with. It was sad that the woman was wasting away into nothing, but Julia found herself wanting to make her life as happy and content as possible.

“I’ll keep you company, Kitty.” She said, ignoring the fact that she would soon be expected to start a family of her own with Brogan. “Every day if you so wish I will be here.”

When Kitty mentioned how good Brogan was to the people, she went quiet for a moment, her eyes lowering back to the knitting in front of her. “Brogan is…well, he’s a little odd. He makes me feel like I’m special one moment and then the next…well, he acts as if I’m not even there.”

"I know what ya mean, love. It's 'ard t' tell sometimes if Brogan cares about anythin', an' then th' next moment 'e's got all 'is focus on somethin' an' won't stop til 'e sees it taken care of. 'e's a very intense man, an' a trifle odd, everyone'll agree t' that. But 'e can be real sweet too-"

"Talkin' about me?" Brogan's voice, soft but still rumbling like thunder, came from the open doorway.

"Ya better b'lieve it," Kitty chuckled and rose shakily. With a quick three strides, Brogan was at her side, taking her hands to steady her. She wrapped her arms around him, hardly able to reach around his broad chest, and he smiled softly, hugging her ever so gently. Kitty looked up at him once more, "Sit, lad. Did ya take care o' Wick?" She settled back into her chair and Brogan sat beside Julia, leaning forward with his arms resting on his legs.

"Cert'nly did. Though I won't be s'prised if we get more trouble soon."

"They'll never learn," Kitty sighed.

"So what've ya been doin'?"

"Oh, teachin' Julia here t' knit. Can ya believe she never learnt t' knit 'r weave? Look a' this," she motioned toward the knitting they were working on. "She's a nat'ral."

Brogan looked over, reaching over to pick up the finished end and examine it. "Yer sure ya never learnt b'fore now?" He looked to Julia with a hint of a smile. "Looks like ya been doin' it fer years."

Julia jumped at the sound of Brogan’s deep voice and she nearly dropped the knitting needles in her hand as she turned towards the open door. She blushed deeply, wondering how much of the conversation he had heard and wondering if he would be angry at the way she and his mother had spoken about him.

Kitty, however, didn’t seem to mind being caught in the middle of a gossip and Julia watched as the old woman stood and embraced her son as if she hadn’t seen him in ages. Perhaps she had kept Brogan away from his family for too long, she thought to herself as he took a seat beside her on the small bench.

She glanced down at the way that his leg touched hers, his strong arms and hands resting against his knees as he spoke with his mother in confident tones yet still warning her of danger that might present itself. His very presences filled the room and it seemed a bit brighter and more cheerful now that he had arrived.

Then all the attention in the room turned towards her and the knitting that she was holding in her hands. She blushed under the gaze and shyly turned her eyes towards Brogan as he smiled at her.

“Never, my lord.” She said softly, a little smile gracing her own features. “Perhaps I’ll make something for you. As a wedding gift.”

Brogan chuckled and leaned back. "I'd cert'nly like that, darlin'..."

"See now, I told ya 'e could be sweet," Kitty smiled, making Brogan raise an eyebrow.

"I ain' sweet."

"Sweet as pie," Kitty teased him now, and Brogan just rolled his eyes with a smile. "Now, seein' as you ain' busy anymore, I wantcha t' take yer lovely lass 'ere and show 'er round b'fore ya get busy again."

Brogan rose then, "A'right." He looked down to Julia, offering a hand.

Julia felt a blush coat her cheeks as he laughed softly and told her that he would like her to make him a gift. She had her mind set that she would give him something that was special, to show him that she was in to this marriage as much as Brogan was. Kitty teased her son and she couldn’t help but smile wider.

“Oh, I don’t mind staying here with you, Kitty.” Julia said as she encouraged her son to take her around the keep.

Soon, Brogan was standing before her, his large hand offered to her as she was left with a decision of whether to go or stay with her mother-in-law. It took a few moments before Julia passed her knitting to Kitty and took her husband’s hand, allowing him to pull her to her feet.

“We’ll talk later, my lady.” Julia said as Brogan led her from the warm and cozy room.

"I'll be right 'ere, love," Kitty set aside the knitting with a smile for Julia to continue later, and continued one of her own projects.

Brogan took Julia's arm in his own and headed back to the main hall, where he donned his cloak and put a similar brown fur cloak about her before leading her out. He showed her around all the shops and craftsman's setups around the village, and he knew every name of every person. Then, he took her to the edge of the long bay and stood at the shore with her, looking out over the water. After few minutes' silence, he asked quietly, dimming his Scottish accent: "Are you ready for tomorrow...?"

“Tomorrow?” Julia asked dumbly, looking from the water towards her husband. It was then that it struck her what he was talking about. Their second wedding… “Oh…I suppose I haven’t really thought about it much. I guess I’m as ready as I’ll ever be.”

Wrapping the cloak further around her body, she turned more towards Brogan and she let out a little sigh. “I think the more important question is whether you are ready for tomorrow.”

“Brogan, if you do not wish to marry me, I will not think ill of you for it. I’m sure there are probably a dozen other women that you would prefer over myself. Someone you do not have to pretend with.” Where were those words coming from, she wondered.

"I'm marrying you for my mother's sake, and because otherwise, your father was going to throw you out on the street," he attempted to keep his anger and accent in check, but it began to fail. "I've been after Chester fer th' sake o' the land... Yer father's destroyin' it with bad farmin' practices an' scatterin' garbage all over. 'E made th' treaty wi' me on th' condition that 'e'd follow my conservation rules tha' I laid down fer 'im. But once we got it all written, I told 'im it'd just be easier fer me to take th' land an' do it m'self. 'E got desperate, said that 'e 'ad a daughter o' twenty that 'e 'ad no use fer but to be 'is ol' wife's nurse, that 'e'd throw 'er out soon as 'is wife was dead. 'E offered ya t' sweeten the deal, but 'e jus' made me madder. I told 'im I'd think about it, but I was really jus' goin' 'ome to plan 'ow t' destroy Chester. I told m' mother what 'e said, an' she begged me t' accept, fer yer sake. An' any Scotsman worth 'is claymore always listens t' his mother. So I accepted."

Stunned didn’t even begin to describe how Julia felt at Brogan’s confession. She felt sick in the pit of her stomach and she sucked in a deep breath of cold air, hoping to keep the lump in her throat from bursting forth. Her own father was willing to throw her out on the streets because he had no use for her. Brogan had taken her in because his mother had begged him, not because he felt anything for her.

She closed her green eyes against the pain that shown there, turning her gaze from Brogan’s. “Well…”

She couldn’t speak because her voice shook so badly. She was visibly shaken and now she truly didn’t know where she belonged. She didn’t want to hold Brogan back from the future that he wanted.

“I…have to…go.” She stammered, turning and fleeing from his side before she burst into tears.

Brogan didn't pursue. He knew it hurt, but he could not lie to her. She was left unchecked for some ways til suddenly, Ciaran caught her. "Whoa now, lass," he pulled her in close, seeing her tears. "What's th' matter, darlin'? Ol' Brogan say somethin'?" He gently wiped a tear from her cheek with his thumb, far more careful and kind to her than Brogan had been thus far. "Oh, sweetheart," his voice softened, "don' cry, yer too pretty t' stain yer face wi' tears." Why couldn't her father, or her brother, or Brogan be this caring for her? Ciaran drew her into a warm and protective embrace.

Julia ran blindly towards the keep, her tears blurring her view. She felt like she would die as her heart withered within her chest. She hoped she would die rather than ruin Brogan’s life. She didn’t want to ruin another person’s future.

A cry let her lips as two strong hands caught her and held her in place. She looked towards Ciaran as he pulled her close and asked what the matter was. She shook her head, unable to speak as he wiped the tears from her cheeks with his thumb. As Ciaran pulled her into his warm embrace, she sobbed harder, burying her cheek against his shoulder.

“Brogan…” She let out another sob, struggling to get herself under control. “Brogan shouldn’t have to marry me. He shouldn’t have to live his life with the girl no one wants…”

There. She’d said what had been simmering beneath the surface for so long. No one wanted her. Her father, her brother, her mother…and now her husband had admitted that he married her out of pity. This wasn’t how she imagined her life turning out. Perhaps it would be more honorable to just disappear. She could wander into the highlands in the cold winter and never return. Then Brogan could do as he wished.

"Aw, love..." Ciaran sighed, "Jus' cause 'e ain' warmed up t' ya yet don' mean 'e doesn't wantcha. An' 'sides that, I want ya here, so does Kitty an' Cole an' Val. Yer a lovely lass, we like havin' ya here. I know th' second I met ya I liked ya an' I was glad we were takin' ya home. People in Chester didn' appreciate th' lovely girl y'are, but people 'ere will an' a bunch of us a'ready do." He lifted her head gently and gave her a soft smile, "If ya think y'ain't got a friend 'r someone who wants ya, yer wrong, cause I'm yer friend, lass. If'n yer ever havin' trouble wi' anyone, e'en Brogan, ya come t'me, aye?"

Julia raised her hand to wipe at her eyes as Ciaran swore that Brogan would warm up to her in time. She sniffled and nodded, her red tipped nose twitching as he continued to heap praise upon her and tell her that she was very much wanted in Inverness. She didn’t really feel that way, but she supposed that in time things would start to change.

“Alright.” She said softly as he told her that she could come to him with anything that she wanted. “I promise I will.”

She sniffled again and finished wiping her eyes, staring up at Ciaran as if she were watching him in a new light. How had she not noticed how kind he was before? Much kinder than Brogan had been, that much was certain.

“Would you show me back to my quarters?” She asked him in a small voice.

"'Course I will," Ciaran wrapped an arm about her shoulders and walked with her back to the keep, back to her room. No one thought anything of this. After all, Ciaran was one of Brogan's closest soldiers, it was only natural that he protect Julia closely as well. As he opened her door for her, he offered her a smile. "Anythin' else I can do fer ya?"

Standing in the doorway of her new room, the room that she would share with her husband, Julia shook her head. Ciaran’s smile was contagious and she found herself smiling back at him, her gaze shyly turning from his towards the stone floor.

“I’m fine right now. Thank you, Ciaran.” She said gently, her belly doing a strange clench when she thought about Ciaran and the kindness he was showing her.

“Would you tell Brogan where I am? And perhaps ask the kitchens if I can dine alone here this evening? I don’t know if I’m feeling well enough to eat with the rest of the clan.” She was ashamed, but she felt awful with everything that had been revealed to her.

"I'll see to it, m'lady," Ciaran bowed his head and took her hand to kiss it before sweeping off down the hall. He notified Brogan and the kitchens respectively, and Brogan didn't object, letting her alone.

Julia blushed as Ciaran bent low over her hand and kissed her knuckled gently before he swept down the hall to do as she’d asked. She felt a little smile curl the corners of her lips and she let out a sigh, watching until he disappeared until she moved into the room and shut the door behind her.

Looking over her husband’s room again, she tried to figure out what kind of a man Brogan was. He was cool, collected, calculating. She could see that in the sparse decoration. There were wicked looking swords propped against one wall. A soldier’s chest was against the foot of the bed.

There were a few books on his desk and she picked up the one on the top of the pile. She cocked her head to the side as she saw the title and she opened the cover, dropping her fur cape onto the chair at the desk as she took a seat on his bed. She would lose herself in a book and forget her surroundings. That’s exactly what happened until she heard the knock at the door and as she looked up, she saw the kitchen staff bringing in a small table and chairs and the food for dinner.

Setting two places, she knew that someone would be joining her. “Oh, no…I wanted to eat alone.” She spoke as she placed the book on the bed and stood, wondering who this other person was.

"I'm sorry, m'lady, but 'is Lordship insisted," one man answered her. They were gone as fast as they'd come, and soon, Brogan entered. Stepping over to his desk, he unbuckled the belt that held his claymore and laid it down, then he laid down his other belt with his knife and dagger too. He pulled off the leather armguard he wore, and then turned to Julia with those dark eyes on her face.

"You look like you're feeling a bit better." He schooled his accent.

When Brogan stepped into the room, Julia felt his overbearing presence yet again. She watched as he carefully unbuckled his belt and placed his weapons down before he turned back towards her, his dark eyes looking over every inch of her face.

“I am feeling better, my lord.” Julia said, motioning for him to have a seat at the table that had been set up for them. “Brogan, might I ask a favor of you? Please do not hide your accent from me. It makes me feel…unworthy when you do.”

Brogan did not sit until she did. A brute, but still a gentleman. "I'm just making sure you can understand me. You couldn't understand a word I said when you first met me, no one in Chester could." He began moving this and that from the trays to his plate. Out of habit, his accent was still subdued, but not English. "Why'd ya want to eat alone anyhow? Prob'ly what I said earlier, hm? ... I didn't want t'hide it from ya, y'didn't do anythin' to deserve bein' lied to. An' believe me when I say I care a hell of a lot more'n yer father did."

Waiting until Brogan had dished up the food that he wanted, she then reached in and filled her plate as well. Her green eyes glanced towards him as he asked why she wanted to eat alone that evening. She shrugged slightly, not sure that she could really give him an answer without sounding completely childish.

“I don’t know. Perhaps I just wanted to hide this evening.” She said softly, bringing a bite to her lips and savoring the beautiful taste.

“The truth hurts us sometimes, but I believe that I will be better for it.” Julia said diplomatically. “And I thank you for caring enough to bring me back to your home as your wife.”

She was quiet for a long moment as they ate, the sounds of their plates rattling filling the space. She was gathering the courage to ask Brogan the question that she really wanted an answer to.

“Brogan, do you believe that in time you might come to care for me as a husband loves a wife?” She asked him, her heart racing as she waited for the answer that might break her heart or give her hope for the future.

Brogan paused, taken a bit off guard by that question. He thought about it for a moment til finally he gave her a carefully-considered answer.

"I don't know." He admitted honestly. "All y'know about me is the bad ya heard from people 'round you, an' all I know's what yer father's told me, most o' which I 'spect'll be lies 'e used t' tempt me... We migh' like each other, we migh' not. Either way, ye've got an 'ome here." He would not lie to her about something such as this.

Julia nodded, not really sure what she expected for him to say. He was being honest with her, no matter how much she wanted him to love her. She considered what he’d said, took it to heart and as she took a sip from the mug before her, she thought about what she was going to say.

“I do not think that you are the monster that I was taught to believe.” She said softly. “You’re a good man who has the respect of his people. Your mother loves you very much. I don’t see what can be so bad about that.”

“As far as what my father might have told you about me, I can assure you that I will be nothing but loyal to you, Brogan.” She gave him a small smile. “And I shall discover all those things that make you smile. Perhaps it should be my mission to make you fall in love.”

"Y'should worry more about yerself, not me," Brogan answered simply. There was that cold side again, his voice sounding as if he didn't care if she loved him or if he loved her. But if Kitty was correct about her evaluation of her son earlier, he did care, he just didn't show it. Hard warriors never had room for softness.