How should I pay to lose my virginity?

(I was recommended I'd ask this question here as well)

Just in case I'm truly at the end of my rope and it really is unlikely I'll be able to happily get laid at my age(30 years old) I'd like to at least prepare myself for the inevitable shame and regret of losing my virginity to a lady of the night of some sort.

Thing is this is a sensitive subject and I have no clue how to go about achieving this so I'd appreciate any helpful input on this.

so here was not enough?
http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?p=83520533&posted=1#post83520533


I say, go fuck yourself in the ass to lose your virginity, and you now owe me $50 for the great advice.

Nezhul said:

so here was not enough?
http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?p=83520533&posted=1#post83520533


I say, go fuck yourself in the ass to lose your virginity, and you now owe me $50 for the great advice.

Click to expand...

It was SUGGESTED on that same post that I asked here therefore I did. Instead of suggesting I fuck myself in the ass why don't you remove that stick you seem to have up yours and relax.

http://forum.literotica.com/showpost.php?p=83520125&postcount=8

Ladyrookie123 said:

Because hookers generally don't care, I'm just a john to them what do they need my respect and gratitude for so long as they have my money? This isn't a fairy tale where the john becomes a person who "saves" a hookers soul and from that life.

Click to expand...

The only helpful advice I have for you is to never go near women again. Your attitude towards women and sex is toxic.

If she were a cashier in a store, would you not respect her because you're handing her money? If you hired a plumber, would you not respect the person or be grateful they came to fix your plumbing issue because you're handing them money? Do you treat everyone you trade money for goods and services without respect or gratitude?

Ladyrookie123 said:

How should I pay to lose my virginity?

Click to expand...

Cash. Cash is king.

And if hiring a virginity extractor in a jurisdiction where paying for virginity extraction is kind of illegal, DO NOT pay in roses. Sure, the advert may say roses , but that is only because saying $$ would invite some unsolicited (heh-heh) attention from authorities.


Pay cash $$.

Not roses .

Ladyrookie123 said:

(I was recommended I'd ask this question here as well)

Just in case I'm truly at the end of my rope and it really is unlikely I'll be able to happily get laid at my age(30 years old) I'd like to at least prepare myself for the inevitable shame and regret of losing my virginity to a lady of the night of some sort.

Thing is this is a sensitive subject and I have no clue how to go about achieving this so I'd appreciate any helpful input on this.

Click to expand...

If you want to pay someone, go ahead. Usually, it's cash or some other forms of payment (bitcoin, liquid assets, etc). Make sure you glove, be respectful, be polite and many sex workers prefer to be paid half up-front, half after. Be kind, because even though they are providing you with a service, they are human beings and deserve kindness because they are people.

Also, note that in many places where sex work is legal, solicitation is not. It's a fine line, and it's your responsibility to educate yourself on that line.

That said. You need a serious attitude readjustment towards sex. From your posts, despite the helpful suggestions given to you by incredibly well-meaning people, you seem to see 'virginity' as a dirty word and sex as some sort of holy entrance to a secret club. Many of your posts suggest that you view women as sex toys. You say that you just want to get laid. It's about you - not about a shared experience, whether it is within an established relationship or a one-night stand, there still needs to be mutual respect. It's you-you-you, and that is an instant turn-off, regardless of your so-called number.

You say that you are socially awkward. So what? It's not an excuse. Many socially awkward individuals have healthy relationships with other people and with sex. They are willing to listen and to learn to make their eccentricities work for them. And while many 'socially-awkwards' have had their first sexual encounter a little later than the average individual, they didn't blame their personality quirks for their lack of genitalia action, and they especially did not blame their attracted gender for their lack of partners. There was respect, consideration and compassion - traits that transcends any awkwardness of any ilk. Honestly? I don't read any respect when you talk about your so-called need to have sex; I read self-entitlement.

Virginity is a state. You don't lose your virginity any less you lose the state of eating something for the first time. It just is. You are the one who is all up in arms about your virginity and the perceived obstacle it may pose, despite the fact that people are telling you otherwise. However, even if you were a Lothario who had fucked eleventy billion women, it doesn't mean shit all because you then become a man who fucks. It doesn't mean you know about sex. Sorry to burst your bubble.

And if you go the professional route - what next? You are no longer a 'physical' virgin, then what? Just because you've placed your penis in a vagina doesn't mean you've had sex or actually had a sexual experience. It just means you've had your penis in someone else's vagina. You did that - then what? Just a thought.

Good luck.

MeekMe said:

http://forum.literotica.com/showpost.php?p=83520125&postcount=8




The only helpful advice I have for you is to never go near women again. Your attitude towards women and sex is toxic.

If she were a cashier in a store, would you not respect her because you're handing her money? If you hired a plumber, would you not respect the person or be grateful they came to fix your plumbing issue because you're handing them money? Do you treat everyone you trade money for goods and services without respect or gratitude?

Click to expand...

You've gotta be kidding me. There is a core difference between a woman being handed money to directly have sex with a stranger and a woman who is being handed money by a stranger so they can GIVE you an item or service(That you can't do yourself) you paid for and YOU KNOW IT.

I can't believe you even came to that conclusion.

If you want to pay someone, go ahead. Usually, it's cash or some other forms of payment (bitcoin, liquid assets, etc). Make sure you glove, be respectful, be polite and many sex workers prefer to be paid half up-front, half after. Be kind, because even though they are providing you with a service, they are human beings and deserve kindness because they are people.

Click to expand...

Yes I've seen instances when a guy was foolish enough to give the girl all the money and then the girl just runs with the money and leaves the guy with his pants down. No way was I going to free ball a hooker anyway so condoms goes without saying. I'll definitely still be respectful and polite, just my enthusiasm most likely won't be there since I would be losing my virginity in a way I wouldn't have preferred.

That said. You need a serious attitude readjustment towards sex. From your posts, despite the helpful suggestions given to you by incredibly well-meaning people, you seem to see 'virginity' as a dirty word and some sort of holy entrance to a secret club. Many of your posts suggest that you view women as sex toys. You say that you just want to get laid. It's about you - not about a shared experience, whether it is within an established relationship or a one-night stand, there still needs to be mutual respect. It's you-you-you, and that is an instant turn-off, regardless of your so-called number.

Click to expand...

Virginity isn't a dirty word at all, however at a certain age it IS definitely embarrassing to still be one, I simply don't wanna be one anymore but at the same time I still don't wanna throw it away and be left with a regretful memory of the first time and that's it.

And if sex was all about me then why would I care about the other girls desire to want to have sex with me while KNOWING I'm a virgin above my just wanting to get laid? Of course I'll give the girl respect and I'll severely appreciate the girls who have sex with me because with the way things are they'll be like a gift to me. Though People constantly tell me to just not care about the girl or at least pretend to and I'll have better results but I don't wanna do that.

You say that you are socially awkward. So what? It's not an excuse. Many socially awkward individuals have healthy relationships with other people and with sex. They are willing to listen and to learn to make their eccentricities work for them. And while many 'socially-awkwards' have had their first sexual encounter a little later than the average individual, they didn't blame their personality quirks for their lack of genitalia action, and they especially did not blame their attracted gender for their lack of partners. There was respect, consideration and compassion - traits that transcends any awkwardness of any ilk. Honestly? I don't read any respect when you talk about your so-called need to have sex; I read self-entitlement.

Click to expand...

The fact that I'm STILL socially awkward at my age is the reason why it's difficult for me. And when did I blame girls for my lack of parnters? I'M to blame for it because in the past I had plenty of chances but I blew them all because I wasn't interested at the time and now I'm paying for it and realizing that I AM at a disadvantage. But has that left me bitter towards women and feel self entitled towards them? Absolutely not, but that doesn't change the fact that I still wanna get laid without having to stomp on them or manipulate them plain and simple.

Virginity is a state. You don't lose your virginity any less you lose the state of eating something for the first time. It just is. You are the one who is all up in arms about your virginity and the perceived obstacle it may pose, despite the fact that people are telling you otherwise. However, even if you were a Lothario who had fucked eleventy billion women, it doesn't mean shit all because you then become a man who fucks. It doesn't mean you know about sex. Sorry to burst your bubble.

Click to expand...

Virginity is state that requires another person to help pass you through that state....It's requires a little more than simply eating for the first time, or doing a push up for the first time or any other activity you can experience by yourself without another person to aid you. I'm sure once I have sex I'll treat as "No big deal" too since that seems to be the default feeling you get but I'm not gonna forget how annoying and frustrating the journey to lose it can be which alot of people fail to take into consideration. And I don't need to know alot about sex I just want to experience it.

And if you go the professional route - what next? You are no longer a 'physical' virgin, then what? Just because you've placed your penis in a vagina doesn't mean you've had sex or actually had a sexual experience. It just means you've had your penis in someone else's vagina. You did that - then what? Just a thought.

Click to expand...

Then I simply make a bigger effort to get sex with someone who actually wants to have sex with me and I keep going until and if I can claim the first GREAT experience in the bedroom to make up for my empty first time having sex. I just would have preferred I have my first time be with someone who wants to have sex with me to ease the level of intensity I may have for pursuing it again.

Ladyrookie123 said:

You've gotta be kidding me. There is a core difference between a woman being handed money to directly have sex with a stranger and a woman who is being handed money by a stranger so they can GIVE you an item or service(That you can't do yourself) you paid for and YOU KNOW IT.

I can't believe you even came to that conclusion.

Click to expand...

You really are now coming across as a total misogynistic creep in your different threads here.

All I can say is I hope any woman you go near sees that sign on your forehead and tells you to "fuck off". You are not dignified to be in their space whether they be a shop assistant or a sex worker.

The world does not owe you a fuck. Every word here you have written indicates you will never ever experience love making. You will totally miss out on that one - have absolutely no idea. You titillate yourself with thoughts of "banging" - all you have indicated is that you want to use a woman as a masturbation object. That is seriously creepy

Re. "That you can't do yourself" - well you actually can't can you...

You seriously need to reevaluate your attitude toward women, but I doubt you are capable of the thought process yourself. Please, for the sake of all the women shop assistants out there, who have the misfortune to serve you, go back to the counsellor and start with "I have trouble connecting and communicating with women". Would you even listen though...?

Truly hope that the point you were attempting to make has been lost somewhere in this thread. For as it stands now, you are coming across as a sad human being. And the reason that you are a 30yr old virgin are rather obvious to all except you. Good luck with your journey, but I fear that you have a very long and lonely trip ahead of you.

Ladyrookie123 said:

Virginity isn't a dirty word at all, however at a certain age it IS definitely embarrassing to still be one, I simply don't wanna be one anymore but at the same time I still don't wanna throw it away and be left with a regretful memory of the first time and that's it.

Click to expand...

And many people are telling you that you're the one who is making a big deal about it, that it's not that big of an obstacle. Unusual? Yes. But there are quite a few gentlemen on these hallowed boards who had their experience in their late 20s with a caring partner. If you just have sex for the sake of losing your virginity, you are more likely to also regret that.

Ladyrookie123 said:

And if sex was all about me then why would I care about the other girls desire to want to have sex with me while KNOWING I'm a virgin above my just wanting to get laid? Of course I'll give the girl respect and I'll severely appreciate the girls who have sex with me because with the way things are they'll be like a gift to me. Though People constantly tell me to just not care about the girl or at least pretend to and I'll have better results but I don't wanna do that.

Click to expand...

And you say, right here that:

And right here:

Et ici aussi:


And that's just from one thread. The point is, you emphasise so much on getting 'laid' and wanting to 'get rid of your virginity', and how desperate you are for sex. I will concede that you mentioned that you would prefer that you liked the girl, however that was more of an afterthought, overshadowed by your highlighting how much you just want to get laid. No mention of respect, no mention of a relationship (by the way, I do not mean commitment, I mean a mutual exchange of respect and consideration) - in fact, in the latter you explicitly indicate that you just want casual sex, that you just want to fuck.

That, my dear, is an indication that the sex you desire is about you, that it's quite self-centred and has an air of disrespect. Maybe you do not mean it that way. I don't know, I am not you - but for myself, for other women who took the time to respond and the men who also posted, well, we are saying very similar things.

So if we are all saying the same thing: that it sounds like you just want a masturbation fucktoy, and you may wish to reevaluate your attitude towards sex and women, well... it would be wise to consider that we may be actually right.

We don't know you - but the way you are presenting yourself is quite rude, condescending and borderline misogynistic. If utter strangers are telling you this, then it might be worth considering that this is how you are presenting yourself to the world at large. Just sayin'.

Ladyrookie123 said:

The fact that I'm STILL socially awkward at my age is the reason why it's difficult for me. And when did I blame girls for my lack of parnters? I'M to blame for it because in the past I had plenty of chances but I blew them all because I wasn't interested at the time and now I'm paying for it and realizing that I AM at a disadvantage. But has that left me bitter towards women and feel self entitled towards them? Absolutely not, but that doesn't change the fact that I still wanna get laid without having to stomp on them or manipulate them plain and simple.

Click to expand...

Again, you are blaming your perceived social awkwardness on the difficulty of creating interactions. I got news for you: meeting people, creating a connection and having a relationship are all skills that are learned. No one is inherently born with relationship skills. Yes, some are more talented than others, but all the talent in the world would get you nowhere if you didn't learn the skills. So own it up, and learn. Stop blaming, stop bemoaning and do something about it. Work on yourself. Work on making your social awkwardness a strength. Work on interacting with people. Then it will all fall into place.

(and by the way, I do now what I'm talking about).

Ladyrookie123 said:

Virginity is state that requires another person to help pass you through that state....It's requires a little more than simply eating for the first time, or doing a push up for the first time or any other activity you can experience by yourself without another person to aid you. I'm sure once I have sex I'll treat as "No big deal" too since that seems to be the default feeling you get but I'm not gonna forget how annoying and frustrating the journey to lose it can be which alot of people fail to take into consideration. And I don't need to know alot about sex I just want to experience it.

Click to expand...

So is a lot of state of beings and this is neither here or now. I was simply pointing out, like several others, the ludicrousness of you placing so much clout on virginity.

You want to experience sex? Fine. Then also work on you. Stop making excuses, stop mansplaining women who are pointing out what may be perceived as being creepy and toxic, stop blaming and work on you.

The more you cry 'but you don't understand' (and believe me, most of us who are responding to you absolutely understand), the more you are proving that you merely want sex to revolve around you.

Ladyrookie123 said:

Then I simply make a bigger effort to get sex with someone who actually wants to have sex with me and I keep going until and if I can claim the first GREAT experience in the bedroom to make up for my empty first time having sex. I just would have preferred I have my first time be with someone who wants to have sex with me to ease the level of intensity I may have for pursuing it again.

Click to expand...

Why not make the effort now? What you will get from a sex worker will not be the same type of sex as you would get in a relationship - however that parametres are drawn. Just because you've had your penis in a woman's vagina does not, as I have said before, make you experienced. You'll have to start all over.

So why not make the effort now?

NightL said:

You really are now coming across as a total misogynistic creep in your different threads here.

All I can say is I hope any woman you go near sees that sign on your forehead and tells you to "fuck off". You are not dignified to be in their space whether they be a shop assistant or a sex worker.

The world does not owe you a fuck. Every word here you have written indicates you will never ever experience love making. You will totally miss out on that one - have absolutely no idea. You titillate yourself with thoughts of "banging" - all you have indicated is that you want to use a woman as a masturbation object. That is seriously creepy

Re. "That you can't do yourself" - well you actually can't can you...

You seriously need to reevaluate your attitude toward women, but I doubt you are capable of the thought process yourself. Please, for the sake of all the women shop assistants out there, who have the misfortune to serve you, go back to the counsellor and start with "I have trouble connecting and communicating with women". Would you even listen though...?

Click to expand...

Yeah I can't fuck myself to the levels of satisfaction you're right.

The world doesn't own me a thing, but that doesn't mean I can't still be annoyed and frustrated with myself for not knowing how to get what I want. And WHAT I WANT RIGHT NOW at this moment alone is to get my virginity out of the way with someone who WANTS to with me.

I've connected with women JUST fine in the past and even when I had light interest in sex I was STILL able to treat them with respect and dignity so don't you dare assume that just because suddenly I have a stronger desire to have sex with girls NOW that I only see them as toys because I definitely DO NOT. But what do you care? You're just going to make your own conclusions about me no matter what I say.

MidnightRyder1a said:

Truly hope that the point you were attempting to make has been lost somewhere in this thread. For as it stands now, you are coming across as a sad human being. And the reason that you are a 30yr old virgin are rather obvious to all except you. Good luck with your journey, but I fear that you have a very long and lonely trip ahead of you.

Click to expand...

No amount of attempts to try to force a false impression on me is going to change the fact that I personally KNOW the reason why I'm still a 30 year old virgin, and it's certainty not because I disrespect women like ALOT of you keep trying to say.

because if that was the case I wouldn't have had chances to lose my virginity or had female friends in the past. I'm still a virgin because I screwed up the chances I had when girls actually did try to pursue me to have sex and now that I'm older and actually want to have sex I'm out of the loop and my element.

And many people are telling you that you're the one who is making a big deal about it, that it's not that big of an obstacle. Unusual? Yes. But there are quite a few gentlemen on these hallowed boards who had their experience in their late 20s with a caring partner. If you just have sex for the sake of losing your virginity, you are more likely to also regret that.

Click to expand...

I'm not in my late twenties anymore, I'm 30 going on 31, at my age it would be pointless to regret losing my virginity for the sake of losing it when I never capitalized on the chances to lose my virginity to girls who liked me in the past. I probably would have been happier if my closest attempt to have sex at 27 was a success but unfortunately it failed all 4 times(because no matter how much I tried I couldn't feel attracted to her) and here I am.

And that's just from one thread. The point is, you emphasise so much on getting 'laid' and wanting to 'get rid of your virginity', and how desperate you are for sex. I will concede that you mentioned that you would prefer that you liked the girl, however that was more of an afterthought, overshadowed by your highlighting how much you just want to get laid. No mention of respect, no mention of a relationship (by the way, I do not mean commitment, I mean a mutual exchange of respect and consideration) - in fact, in the latter you explicitly indicate that you just want casual sex, that you just want to fuck.

That, my dear, is an indication that the sex you desire is about you, that it's quite self-centred and has an air of disrespect. Maybe you do not mean it that way. I don't know, I am not you - but for myself, for other women who took the time to respond and the men who also posted, well, we are saying very similar things.

So if we are all saying the same thing: that it sounds like you just want a masturbation fucktoy, and you may wish to reevaluate your attitude towards sex and women, well... it would be wise to consider that we may be actually right.

We don't know you - but the way you are presenting yourself is quite rude, condescending and borderline misogynistic. If utter strangers are telling you this, then it might be worth considering that this is how you are presenting yourself to the world at large. Just sayin'.

Click to expand...

And I'm more than capable of giving respect and consideration to my partner, so long as said partner is willing to have sex with me. Why WOULDN'T I show the girl whos willing to help me me consideration and respect??? Just because I wanna fuck doesn't mean I still won't treat the girl like a human being....Again why do you all insist that's how I feel over my just wanting to have sex? Because that's the common mindset for most people in this situation?

Because it sounds like alot of you are just labeling me because you're assuming that's the only pattern for situations like this.

Again, you are blaming your perceived social awkwardness on the difficulty of creating interactions. I got news for you: meeting people, creating a connection and having a relationship are all skills that are learned. No one is inherently born with relationship skills. Yes, some are more talented than others, but all the talent in the world would get you nowhere if you didn't learn the skills. So own it up, and learn. Stop blaming, stop bemoaning and do something about it. Work on yourself. Work on making your social awkwardness a strength. Work on interacting with people. Then it will all fall into place.

(and by the way, I do now what I'm talking about).

Click to expand...

My social awkwardness was balanced out thanks to the friends I had around me at the time. Now that most of them moved away or are too busy to hang out I'm alone and have no friends it's now even harder for me to come out of my shell unless I'm approached first because otherwise I am terrified of approaching someone on my own due to fear of rejection or being looked at as a creeper...If I can just get past that first step believe me I'm totally fine.

Why not make the effort now? What you will get from a sex worker will not be the same type of sex as you would get in a relationship - however that parametres are drawn. Just because you've had your penis in a woman's vagina does not, as I have said before, make you experienced. You'll have to start all over.

So why not make the effort now?

Click to expand...

Because I don't wanna waste anymore time then I need too. I'm already quite regretful of the fact that I never got to have a young sex life why would I want to hold onto my virginity any longer than I feel I should? Like I said Once I get the virginity out of the way then I will gladly pursue real relationship sex.

And all I want from that situation is to lose it to someone who's not a hooker(Until I reach a deadend), someone who knows I'm a virgin but is still willing to have sex with me because THEY also sincerely want to. I don't want to lose my virginity to someone who doesn't even want to take it. Is that really REALLY too much to ask for??? Am I REALLY asking for too much?

Ladyrookie123 said:

And I'm more than capable of giving respect and consideration to my partner, so long as said partner is willing to have sex with me.

Click to expand...

...and there we have it

And WHAT I WANT RIGHT NOW at this moment alone is to get my virginity out of the way with someone who WANTS to with me.

Click to expand...

So why not get her to want it? As have been said numerous times, the desire to have sex with you does not come out of the blue. It's not like your pretty face is nearly enough.

Spend some time getting to know her, connecting, going on a few dates. Then you have sex.

You spent more time on these forums already trying to argue your points, than it would have actually took you to go and get a girl's phone number.

You will spend even more time contemplating your situation than it would have took you to meet her a few times and get into bed with her.

I mean, what's the deal? You actually sound like you are attention-whoring rather than seeking any advice, because all advice you get you decline immediately.

I've connected with women JUST fine in the past and even when I had light interest in sex I was STILL able to treat them with respect and dignity

Click to expand...

So you have SURELY no problem connecting with a girl once more and getting to the point where you have sex.
Either that or you are lying here about the ease and lack of problems in connecting.

Or maybe you just act like a creep now that you want sex. You surely act like that in this thread. Don't mention sex, just develop an intimate relationship with her. Don't say you want sex from her! Say that you like her and that she's beautiful and stuff.
Concentrate on her, not your desire to have sex with her.... Aw, dammit, what's the point in telling you this?...

girls actually did try to pursue me to have sex

Click to expand...

Breaking news. Girsl actually pursued you NOT to have sex but to have relationship. Unless you are Tom Cruise or a celebrity, girls rarely want sex from you - not nearly in the first place. Deal with it.
Men get erections based on pretty face. Girls get turned on based on the relationships, emotions, and those don't appear out of nowhere. Pretty face is good, but never enough to make them want to bang you. If it worked like that, we'd be fucking all the time.

I am terrified of approaching someone on my own due to fear of rejection or being looked at as a creeper...If I can just get past that first step believe me I'm totally fine.

Click to expand...

Haha. Yea. Hehe. No, that's hilarious.
So you getting a penis into someone's vagina actually will take away the fear of approaching women?

Forget it.

I've had several women in my life, and every time I want to approach another girl there's that fear again. Rejection never gets pleasant. Never. Yu just learn that it's not big deal, if in the end of the day after 10 rejections you get a phone number.

Those people who said no to you have their reasons.

But man, you are just too much. Yeah, right, losing virginity will help. Haha.

Because I don't wanna waste anymore time then I need too.

Click to expand...

You are wasting time right NOW.

And you are wasting MORE time trying to find a girl for casual sex, because that's not happening for you, believe me.

Get your ass out of the chair, go on the street or in a club, and ask 10 girls out. Today. Right now. 10 of them.

If they all reject you - good, this means when you ask another 10 girls tomorrow you'll be slightly less awkward and you will not be so upset by rejections. Keep this up for a week and you will find that you don't give a damn about their rejections anymore.
If one of them agrees, then it's up to you if you have sex or not. Not your virginity. You.

.... OR you can continue posting about you need for sex. Or creep out 1 women every month by approaching her and asking if she wants casual sex with a virgin.
Because I don't believe you make more effort than that - once per month.

Which is faster? You decide.

Is that really REALLY too much to ask for??? Am I REALLY asking for too much?

Click to expand...

Is it REALLY too much to ask for you to go out and get a girlfriend?
Is it REALLY too hard to understand that emotional connection is the ONLY thing that will make a woman WANT to have sex with you?
Is it REALLY so hard to get into your head that this emotional connection is created by you spending some time with her and being honest and respectful?
Is is REALLY hard to understand that talking about sex first and foremost gets you nowhere?

I know I should just stop replying to you, but you are just so damn hilarious.

Ladyrookie123 said:

My social awkwardness was balanced out thanks to the friends I had around me at the time. Now that most of them moved away or are too busy to hang out I'm alone and have no friends it's now even harder for me to come out of my shell unless I'm approached first because otherwise I am terrified of approaching someone on my own due to fear of rejection or being looked at as a creeper...If I can just get past that first step believe me I'm totally fine.

Click to expand...

Have you considered talking to a therapist about that?

(This is not an insult. I've seen a therapist for various things. It was helpful.)

And all I want from that situation is to lose it to someone who's not a hooker(Until I reach a deadend), someone who knows I'm a virgin but is still willing to have sex with me because THEY also sincerely want to. I don't want to lose my virginity to someone who doesn't even want to take it. Is that really REALLY too much to ask for??? Am I REALLY asking for too much?

Click to expand...

Those aren't meaningful questions. There is no baseline guaranteed amount of satisfying sex for a lifetime. All you get (solo aside) is whatever other people choose to give you.

If everyone else is having more sex than you, well, I can see how that would be frustrating and disappointing. (Been there.) But sex isn't something any of us are entitled to.

Some people might choose to have sex with you if you offer them money. It doesn't mean they hate the sex, or you, it just means that sex is their job and they have bills to pay. (I enjoy my job - mostly - but I still expect to get paid for it.)

Echoing other posters here: if you do end up going to a sex worker, treat her as respectfully as you would any other professional who's doing something that you hired them to do.

Nezhul said:

You actually sound like you are attention-whoring rather than seeking any advice, because all advice you get you decline immediately.

I know I should just stop replying to you, but you are just so damn hilarious.

Click to expand...

Whether his first post (other thread) was genuine or maybe he was just a little excited for using the word masturbation (a lot), he is definitely playing it for attention now.

NightL said:

...and there we have it

Click to expand...

Yes there we have someone who wants to have sex with someone who also has the intent to have sex with me and is willing to give consent. Is that a problem?

Nezhul said:

So why not get her to want it? As have been said numerous times, the desire to have sex with you does not come out of the blue. It's not like your pretty face is nearly enough.

Spend some time getting to know her, connecting, going on a few dates. Then you have sex.

You spent more time on these forums already trying to argue your points, than it would have actually took you to go and get a girl's phone number.

You will spend even more time contemplating your situation than it would have took you to meet her a few times and get into bed with her.

I mean, what's the deal? You actually sound like you are attention-whoring rather than seeking any advice, because all advice you get you decline immediately.

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Just because I am responding back with points of my own doesn't mean it's being declined....-Sigh- but as usual people will take that as me not listening and attention whoring right?

And again I do not want to PRETEND that I'm after a relationship when that's not what I want right now.....

So you have SURELY no problem connecting with a girl once more and getting to the point where you have sex.
Either that or you are lying here about the ease and lack of problems in connecting.

Or maybe you just act like a creep now that you want sex. You surely act like that in this thread. Don't mention sex, just develop an intimate relationship with her. Don't say you want sex from her! Say that you like her and that she's beautiful and stuff.
Concentrate on her, not your desire to have sex with her.... Aw, dammit, what's the point in telling you this?...

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I still need to get past the opening approach of making friends with a girl.

Also YES!! You've hit the nail on the head, I HAVE changed now that I actively really want sex. But I also don't want to have to pretend I'm after something I'm not UNLESS that really is what it'll take.....

Let me repeat myself again I DO NOT want a traditional relationship right now.

Breaking news. Girsl actually pursued you NOT to have sex but to have relationship. Unless you are Tom Cruise or a celebrity, girls rarely want sex from you - not nearly in the first place. Deal with it.
Men get erections based on pretty face. Girls get turned on based on the relationships, emotions, and those don't appear out of nowhere. Pretty face is good, but never enough to make them want to bang you. If it worked like that, we'd be fucking all the time.

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Breaking news while yes a few of them did pursue me for relationships and I even went out with some of them there were still some who just wanted to have sex with me.

For the ones I dated their PUSHINESS to get me to have sex with me annoyed me and I broke up the one I liked(which I DEEPLY regret) while the rest broke up with me over it.

The others who did just want to have sex with me for whatever reason stopped after I made it clear that I wasn't interested then........Again I'm kicking myself hardcore over this.

Also Yes I'm fairly sure those girls didn't all pursue me just because of my face, they all went after me as I got to know them all in school or when I met them through friends.

Haha. Yea. Hehe. No, that's hilarious.
So you getting a penis into someone's vagina actually will take away the fear of approaching women?

Forget it.

I've had several women in my life, and every time I want to approach another girl there's that fear again. Rejection never gets pleasant. Never. Yu just learn that it's not big deal, if in the end of the day after 10 rejections you get a phone number.

Those people who said no to you have their reasons.

But man, you are just too much. Yeah, right, losing virginity will help. Haha.

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I said once I get past the first step of engaging a conversation with a girl I don't yet know and I'm able to START having conversations then I'm fine. Not once I have sex with someone I won't be afraid to approach. Until I'm used to rejection the fear will always be there but I need a way to take the steps to move past it and THAT'S what I have trouble the most now that I don't have my friends to have my back anymore.

And the TWO girls who directly said no to me when I actually tried gave me their reasons and I already explained it.

Your advice to get used to rejection through repetition is sound, it really is, but I don't have that many different locations to try this out especially since I don't drive. Any ideas on where to go?

Is it REALLY too much to ask for you to go out and get a girlfriend?
Is it REALLY too hard to understand that emotional connection is the ONLY thing that will make a woman WANT to have sex with you?
Is it REALLY so hard to get into your head that this emotional connection is created by you spending some time with her and being honest and respectful?
Is is REALLY hard to understand that talking about sex first and foremost gets you nowhere?

I know I should just stop replying to you, but you are just so damn hilarious.

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1.Yes because once again ONCE AGAIN I don't want a girlfriend right now......
2.Physical attraction works just as well, emotional connection is for those who debate wanting a relationship from it. Once again I don't want a relationship. If the girl is able to respect that then I'd be okay with it.
3. Which would be fine if once again I wanted a relationship and again I don't want a girlfriend right now.
4. No shit I understand that, but I'm not going to keep quiet about my desires completely.

Soooo happy you find me amusing.

NightL said:

Whether his first post (other thread) was genuine or maybe he was just a little excited for using the word masturbation (a lot), he is definitely playing it for attention now.

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You'd be definitely wrong but I can't control what you think soo....

Bramblethorn said:

Have you considered talking to a therapist about that?

(This is not an insult. I've seen a therapist for various things. It was helpful.)



Those aren't meaningful questions. There is no baseline guaranteed amount of satisfying sex for a lifetime. All you get (solo aside) is whatever other people choose to give you.

If everyone else is having more sex than you, well, I can see how that would be frustrating and disappointing. (Been there.) But sex isn't something any of us are entitled to.

Some people might choose to have sex with you if you offer them money. It doesn't mean they hate the sex, or you, it just means that sex is their job and they have bills to pay. (I enjoy my job - mostly - but I still expect to get paid for it.)

Echoing other posters here: if you do end up going to a sex worker, treat her as respectfully as you would any other professional who's doing something that you hired them to do.

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Yes I did see a therapist for a bit last year about my frustrations and why I awakened so late. Or are you asking me if I spoke to a therapist about why I have trouble making friends?

And yes as a virgin I just want to experience what I can get from the other person, preferably without that person being a paid hooker.

I don't want to have sex with a person where the act of sex is their job, especially not for my first time. As I've said before I'd be okay with it after I lose my virginity.

Again if I give up and end up paying a hooker I'm not going to be an asshole to the girl I just won't be enthusiastic about the experience that's all.

Yes there we have someone who wants to have sex with someone who also has the intent to have sex with me and is willing to give consent. But at the same time not willing to expend any effort in making said girl want to have sex with him. She just has to be pretty and open for casual sex with a guy whom she met 5 minutes ago. Is that a problem?

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There. Fixed your post. And yes, that's a problem.

And again I do not want to PRETEND that I'm after a relationship when that's not what I want right now.....

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Then you will have to PRETEND you lost your virginity and just had sex with someone willing and consenting to have sex with you.

Because such sex will NOT HAPPEN without any relationship. Never.
Girls need emotions before sex. Either being inlove with you or being sexually attracted by your personality. Get this into your head.
And BOTH require work.

No work - no sex. No relationship - no sex. Period.

It doesn't mean you need to LIE to get your way. It means you shouldn't be BLUNT about it, and that's what you are. Blunt, creepy and offensive.
You may mistake this for honesty, but it isn't.

Let me repeat myself again I DO NOT want a traditional relationship right now.

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Let me repeat what has been said NUMEROUS times now.
We are not talking about "traditional" relationships only.

Friends with benefits is a relationship.
Boyfriend-girlfriend is a relationship.
Fuck-buddies is a relationship.
One-time sex arrangement is STILL a relationship.

But every one of those relationships is still (surprise!) a relationship. Which requires to be built and nurtured over a long period or a short one.
It requires work, trust, respect, and it requires you putting the other's interests in front of yours. Which you are incapable of.

Again, you want to meet a girl, to whom after the exchange of names you will confess that she turns you on, tell her that you are a virgin and propose casual sex.
Then she agrees, eagerly, (because why the fuck not) and you have sex. Then she puts her clothes on and leaves with a smile of a job well done, and you go make yourself a dinner.

THIS - does not happen. Forget it.
No one, not one person in the world will want to fuck you just because you exist. You need to stir this desire in a woman, and you have been told NUMEROUS times how to do that. You don't listen.

there were still some who just wanted to have sex with me.

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You misread them.
No one wants "just sex" with no relationship or emotion preceding that.

For the ones I dated their PUSHINESS to get me to have sex with me annoyed me and I broke up the one I liked(which I DEEPLY regret) while the rest broke up with me over it.

The others who did just want to have sex with me for whatever reason stopped after I made it clear that I wasn't interested then........Again I'm kicking myself hardcore over this.

Also Yes I'm fairly sure those girls didn't all pursue me just because of my face, they all went after me as I got to know them all in school or when I met them through friends.

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Either you are telling stories right now to us, which are not amusing in the slightest, or...

Or these are stories you should tell your psychotherapist, because HE would be VERY interested in them.

Any ideas on where to go?

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Streets. Park. Just stop a girl you fancy, politely ask her name and tell her you liked her and would like to get to know her better.

Nezhul said:

Streets. Park. Just stop a girl you fancy, politely ask her name and tell her you liked her and would like to get to know her better.

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Okay before I respond to the rest of your post let me start off by saying Yeah that approach would NOT work. I'd be looked at as creepy if I did that besides it would be a little early to say I like them without knowing them. How would you feel if a random person did this to you out of nowhere???? You'd be on guard as hell.

Now I shall proceed to respond to some of these in parts:

There. Fixed your post. And yes, that's a problem.

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No you just twisted my words into the total opposite of what I want. You really think I expect to get laid from a girl who I've only known for 5 minutes???

Because such sex will NOT HAPPEN without any relationship. Never.
Girls need emotions before sex. Either being inlove with you or being sexually attracted by your personality. Get this into your head.
And BOTH require work.

No work - no sex. No relationship - no sex. Period.

It doesn't mean you need to LIE to get your way. It means you shouldn't be BLUNT about it, and that's what you are. Blunt, creepy and offensive.
You may mistake this for honesty, but it isn't.

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Here's my attempt to be clear again:If I'm not expected to remain exclusive to the girl then that's fair game and I'd gladly put in the work, but if the girl is putting in the work her self solely because they're evaluating whether they want me in A COMMITTED RELATIONSHIP(Girlfriend) or not then I am not interested nor do I want to get the girls hopes up. Will I put in the work for sex? Absolutely. Will I put in the work for a committed relationship at this point in time? No. Will I put in the work to gain a new female friend? Again absolutely so long as I feel no sexual attraction for the girl from the start at all because If I have a sexual attraction it's gonna be difficult for me to maintain a platonic friendship.

Friends with benefits is a relationship.
Boyfriend-girlfriend is a relationship.
Fuck-buddies is a relationship.
One-time sex arrangement is STILL a relationship.

But every one of those relationships is still (surprise!) a relationship. Which requires to be built and nurtured over a long period or a short one.
It requires work, trust, respect, and it requires you putting the other's interests in front of yours. Which you are incapable of.

Again, you want to meet a girl, to whom after the exchange of names you will confess that she turns you on, tell her that you are a virgin and propose casual sex.
Then she agrees, eagerly, (because why the fuck not) and you have sex. Then she puts her clothes on and leaves with a smile of a job well done, and you go make yourself a dinner.

THIS - does not happen. Forget it.
No one, not one person in the world will want to fuck you just because you exist. You need to stir this desire in a woman, and you have been told NUMEROUS times how to do that. You don't listen.

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How is a one time arrangement sex arrangement a relationship when it's just a booty call and thats it?

But Ya know when people generally say relationship most people automatically will assume boyfriend/girlfriend relationship...Either way I thought I made it VERY CLEAR that I don't want the boyfriend/girlfriend relationship right now.

Now then how do I stir desires in a woman to gain a sexual relationship without the strings because THAT is what I want. Are we clear yet?


Onto part 2...

Nezhul said:

You misread them.
No one wants "just sex" with no relationship or emotion preceding that.

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As I said earlier all Those girls knew me prior for a bit, they didn't just randomly decide this and they offered specifically when they asked me to come over their houses when their parents weren't home or when mine wasn't home or they would ride their bikes to me. But again I wasn't interested and most of them didn't talk to me again and at the time I was fine with it. I had the relationship of being casual friends and acquaintances before it lead to them offering themselves to me...

Okay before I respond to the rest of your post let me start off by saying Yeah that approach would NOT work. I'd be looked at as creepy if I did that besides it would be a little early to say I like them without knowing them. How would you feel if a random person did this to you out of nowhere???? You'd be on guard as hell.

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You are clueless.

If a random women walked up to me on the street, asked for my name and said she liked me - then I'd be flattered as hell. As most women would.

That depends how you handle yourself though. You can make any approach creepy. That one's up to you.

Also when you say "you like her" it doesn't mean "marry me". It means that you like how she looks. You are obviously complimenting her appearance, style, posture, body language and other visual elements, because it's quite obvious you don't know her persona to complement that.

You really think I expect to get laid from a girl who I've only known for 5 minutes???

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You've repeated over and over that you want to "just get laid". That you don't want any relationship. No connection.

Yea. That's what you are saying and that's what I'm thinking.
That's what everybody else thinks in this thread, haven't you noticed?

If I'm not expected to remain exclusive to the girl then that's fair game and I'd gladly put in the work, but if the girl is putting in the work her self solely because they're evaluating whether they want me in A COMMITTED RELATIONSHIP(Girlfriend) or not then I am not interested nor do I want to get the girls hopes up.

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Be real.
No one ever (not these days at least) views a partner as something serious right off the bat. You meet a girl, you date, you fuck, you date and fuck some more.
At this point BOTH of you are considering if you should keep going with the relationship. You don't need to say anything. At any point in time ANY of you can walk up to another and say "Yea, this isn't working. We should break up."
Yea this hurts. But this always hurts.

Do you think that if you date a girl she automatically wants something serious from you? No.

But don't reduce this to sex. If all you want "just sex" from her, then read above about where you should put your dick in, as well as friendly sentiments of hopes that you never cross a woman again.

Again, don't treat a woman like a sex toy. But that doesn't mean that you automatically should treat her like something serious. You can be perfectly clear about that. And still have a girlfriend and fuck her. And then part with her.

And look, I don't mean to sound rude, but you have troubles wooing even one woman. And yet you already talk about exclusivity of your sex and stuff, as if you are planning to have 10 women and have sex with all of them.

Be real. At this pace you are lucky if you get one girl in your life, let alone several.

Will I put in the work to gain a new female friend? Again absolutely so long as I feel no sexual attraction for the girl from the start at all because If I have a sexual attraction it's gonna be difficult for me to maintain a platonic friendship.

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And that's why you can't get laid.

Thing is, sexual relationship and friendship - are not different AT ALL. The only difference is intercourse or lack of it. Otherwise you do your best to stay good friends with her, entertain each other, support and cheer each other up. The same thing that friends do.

The root of your failures is exactly that by feeling an attraction to her you forget ehr as a friend, as a person. You view her as a pussy, not as a friend. And she will feel that, and she will say "no" to you because of that.

How is a one time arrangement sex arrangement a relationship when it's just a booty call and thats it?

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Again - you are clueless.

It's not a booty call. It's not like you just meet somebody and arrange a place. It's NOT.
You have to interest her.
Then you have to entertain her.
You have to excite her. You have to entice her.

And she has to do the same to you.
Only then, when both of you are attracted and eager, you can agree and meet for this one night.
It's a short-lived relationship, but it follows the same path as a serious one. Only much faster.

Now then how do I stir desires in a woman to gain a sexual relationship without the strings because THAT is what I want. Are we clear yet?

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Go to your local pickup training site and find out.