Feedback Request on First Story

D

ddoteeem

Guest

• Nov 22, 2015

• #1

.....

 

Last edited by a moderator: Jul 12, 2019

Tigersman

Literotica Guru

Joined

Jun 3, 2014

Posts

4,130

• Nov 22, 2015

• #2

Comment

I read your story and thoroughly enjoyed it. The plot and character development was well done.

 

Learin

Elusive

Joined

Aug 31, 2014

Posts

1,834

• Nov 23, 2015

• #3

There's nothing substantial on which I can criticise your story. It was well-written and fun to read. The surprise ending was great too. For a short story, it is truly worthy of a 5 star.

I look forward to read something lengthier from you.

 

GoldenCojones

Literotica Guru

Joined

Nov 30, 2014

Posts

617

• Nov 29, 2015

• #4

Good little story

This is a very good story. A little short, but you said that. Like the others here, I didn't really find anything wrong with it, but I would have liked for the sex to be a little longer and maybe a little more explicit Just my dirty mind.

Please do keep writing and posting here.

 

C

CoolSideofthePillow

Virgin

Joined

Aug 9, 2015

Posts

27

• Nov 30, 2015

• #5

I enjoyed it very much. I like a slow build up, a tease if you will. I don't think I could have lasted as long as the narrator if that was me.