I don't have kinks or fetishes

SamScribble said:

Some years ago, I took on a major writing project for an international management consultancy. About halfway through the project, the director of psychological services asked if I would do the bank of tests that they used to assess potential new recruits to the consultancy. Hell, why not?

The tests took several hours and, the following day, the psych services woman met me for a debrief. She began by stressing that there is really no such thing as normal or correct. And then she said: 'But I have to say that you are certainly different.'

Personally, I thought that it was 'the others' who were different.

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Decades ago my job was being made redundant. To avoid paying me redundancy I had to be considered for any other suitable vacancies in the large organisation. Every vacancy ran the same series of tests, and no, you couldn't carry forward the last result even if it was yesterday. I scored maxima.

They didn't want to appoint me to any of the vacancies. Basically they were scared stiff. There were three managers interviewing me. I had scored higher than the added sums of ALL their test results. As a person working for them, my scores suggested they should be my juniors.

But they thought the psychometric tests would save their embarrassment.

My result in summary: A fiercely independent individual who would challenge any flawed decision, not back down until the decision is changed and to make it worse - almost every time his challenge would correct. Tester's comment after seeing my scores on the other tests: "Probably delete the word 'almost'."

They all rejected me for 'not being a team player'.

But it was all nonsense. Why?

In my previous employment part of my duties had been to choose testing methods for recruitment. I had reviewed almost all the available tests, including the ones I was repeatedly sitting, and knew exactly how they worked and for many of them knew the questions and ANSWERS.

The tests weren't testing my ability as a manager. They were testing my memory and my competence as an assessor of tests. I was overqualified as a test subject.

But I still scared them stiff and ended up unemployed.

Normal exists.

It's a statistics term that identifies the distribution of a trait

I don’t want to be normal

Early on in my career as a mistress worshipper I had done 4 sessions with the mistress of my dreams when I booked a double domme session with her and a friend. The session was in a well equipped basement dungeon and afterwards we relaxed upstairs with cake and coffee. ️ It was during our conversation that the ladies remarked that I wasn’t the normal type of client that came to see them. I consider it one of the nicest things ever said about and to me.

I have at least one kink. Reading Literotica stories. That kink also applies to the thousands who do the same as me. Also the writers. There are millions to whom the thought has never occurred let alone for them to have an opinion. Everyone who writes on Literotica has a kink or kinks. In your personal life, and mine, everyone has kinks. Some they will admit to and some they will carry to the grave.

As long as your kink doesn’t hurt anyone what’s the problem? If your kink hurts you that’s entirely different.

My theory on that is that the steadily increasing variety of porn available on the internet has desensitized people to a lot of kinks. It's there. It's available. They've seen it all, and they've burnt out on it. It doesn't feel dirty enough any longer.

Where to go? Incest. Ease in with Step and in-law. Move on to the full-blown incest when incest-lite isn't dirty enough.

If I'm right, I shudder to think what's going to take over when people burn out on incest.

NoJo said:

Based on what I read here,
having incest fantasies is normal.

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It's sometime's worth remembering the original use of "fetish" by Freud, where a "fetish" is something not "normally" sexually stimulating which people imbue with sexual power, so they come to "represent" an object of sex - like the original fetishes people kept in their houses for fertility.

Things like balloons, silk stockings, feet, and other "non-erotic" body parts become fetishes too, in the same way.

A kink is much more to do with what people consider "abnormal" sexual practice. I'm pretty sure bestiality was once so common in some situations (out in the pastures) that it wasn't even considered a kink. Incest was definitely not abnormal for the Egyptian Pharaohs -- in fact it was obligatory!

In response to OP:

I believe that writing so much about sex can be considered a fetish.

I even presume that while in coitus, your mind drifts off to, "Hmmm, this would be good In a story."

There. Now you have a fetish. Sorry to 'out' you.

Carnal_Apple said:

I believe that writing so much about sex can be considered a fetish.

I even presume that while in coitus, your mind drifts off to, "Hmmm, this would be good In a story."

There. Now you have a fetish. Sorry to 'out' you.

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That's what I said (sort of) but he didn't believe me. Maybe you'll be more convincing.

electricblue66 said:

Good god no. You can sort your own problems out. There must be someone in the 99 people who's got half a clue. That's all you need, when the rest of them are clueless .

Besides, we established my empathy factor the other day, remember.

Anyway, you'll be fine. You're one in a million. *Cough*

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Three in a million.

JasonClearwater said:

Three in a million.

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Quite right. Or, one in 333,333. See, vinyl rules.

Okay, let me say first that I consider Normalization a Disorder. Forcing people into a mold turns some of them into serial killers. (Granted, Psychopaths, but it motivates How they act out their psychopathy.) So, depending on how you define them, I would call Normal sex a fetish, but not a Kink. A fetish is something that makes sex more enjoyable, and something you think about sexually when you aren't having sex.

Take blond hair. It's a normal fetish, "Gentlemen prefer blonds" and so much so that women bleach their hair to be more attractive. Likewise shaving body hair (Though body hair is a natural part of being Mammals) but it isn't socially considered a Fetish if when you daydream about girls, they just happen to be blond.

Now, take something like, I don't know Spanking. A fetishist looks at an ass, and he thinks about giving it a good swat. These are natural sexual thoughts, wired into the instincts that make animals continue to make more. I'm sure bunnies see a tail, and some neurons fire in the "Hey!" center of the brain, but a Normal person just thinks "Nice ass."

Now, take someone (No one in particular) a normal guy thinking about Normal sex. A Kink is defined by Taboo. How it deviates from the mores of social acceptability. When they think about sex, they think about whats socially acceptable, as opposed to Kinks, and may even imagine some of the things Society added to fucking/kids/parenthood.

Like a wedding dress, a honeymoon, long walks on the beach, and so forth. The wedding dress, and rings are Fetish Wear. Something you have to wear, to get laid. The vows a ritual, necessary to the act of consummation. Just like a kinkster has to be tied up, and called a bitch as part of the foreplay.

Even if the trappings of Normal sexuality (As defined by our social mores) aren't Fetishes like the taboo breaking of a Kinkster's are. They're the same kinds of rituals in the mating habits of social humans. Just the ones we mostly agreed are acceptable. It can be a Fetish, however. It can be abnormal to the point that a lonely sociopath who wants to fit in with what he heard were more Normal desires just might kidnap a women, and force them to take vows in (His mother's) weeding dresses before, doing something. Unpleasant to them.

In my most recent story (The Flume at Falcon Rock), I was able to use dialog to expound on a concept that I’d been pondering for a long time, a philosophy of how you think about what’s ‘normal’ in matters of sex.

The story was an entry in last summer’s Nude Day contest, so the scene takes place shortly after the main characters have gotten to know each other better by experiencing a public ‘swimsuit optional’ setting. (Oops, spoiler - sorry.) Doing so was way outside the FMC’s comfort zone, but the experience unexpectedly liberates her in ways that drive the story.

The couple (just friends at this point) are getting ready to watch erotica online. The FMC is a woman who’s prim and has led a ho-hum, underwhelming sex life. However, she admits being curious about what all is out there on the Internet but too afraid to actually log on and watch. Now is her chance to do so. (Yeah, this stripped down description makes it sound a lot cheesier than it actually is.)

Laurie looked excited and nervous. "Am I going to be grossed out by what I see?"

"There's always that chance, but we can just scroll away from it or hit back on the browser."

I offered a theory that I hoped would put things in context.

"Sexual practices and turn-ons exist on a continuum like everything else. On one side you'll find people whom you think are perverts for the weird things they do in bed. And on the other side you'll find people you think are hung-up and prudish because they won't try the things that get you hot. But keep in mind the prudes think you're the pervert and the perverts think you're the prude. It's all relative.”

Carnal_Apple said:

I believe that writing so much about sex can be considered a fetish.

I even presume that while in coitus, your mind drifts off to, "Hmmm, this would be good In a story."

There. Now you have a fetish. Sorry to 'out' you.

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It can be a fetish. Great example, if you can't have sex without thinking about it, yeah. It's not a Problem, but you're definitely getting into Fetish territory.

I "Playtest"ed stuff for stories when I got started. (Now I have sex for a living, and don't have a writing partner.) Just to check for "doability." I also happened to be the DM, and we Larped sex scenes (Co-ed D&D group) so there's that.

Like my first reply above, I forgot to mention. It sounds like I might be implying that normal sex is a fetish. Which is nonsense, but it Can be a fetish. If it's so strong that you can't have sex, at all, except for the most "Normal" (Also, everyone has their own set of normalcy) and start romanticising things like having the lights out, and the feel of the covers as she pulls them up your back to cover them.

Yeah, it can be a fetish. Which isn't to say it always is. Sometimes it's a Kink. (For kinksters, sometimes it's fun to just hang up the handcuffs, and do straight Missionary, role-playing as a married couple, or whatever.) Some straight women are only attracted to having affairs with married men.

LOL, I’ve read psiberzerker posts on a couple of forums and she’s...intense.

As far as fetishes go...try to avoid clowns. They’re just scary.

I mostly scroll through the Recent Topics search, and comment on the threads which involve subjects I actually know something about. I don't really pay attention to which forum they're in.