How do I deal with a partners ED?

Wetpinkpetals said:

4 attempts later and the same results. I'm cuming my brains out and my poor guy has blue balls. We talked, I kindly reassured him during our cuddling and he brought up going to the doctor to have it checked out. We are hoping he doesn't have any underlying conditions, and will be trying some horny goat weed this weekend. My heart goes out to him, he's so frustrated and has been hard on himself. No pun intended We most certainly click really well and have fantastic foreplay.


Any advice on how to pick out and use a cock ring? Drugs for ED?

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Does he know that you come on Lit here?

Q: for the men. What in the world is your problem with Viagra? Look, at a certain age you gotta admit you are not 22 anymore. My ex had this "thing" with admitting he needed something to help his stuff function like it used to. I have friends that are in the same situation. Their husbands simply won't admit to their doc that they need it. IF there was a pill that I could take that would greatly increase my chances of having an orgasm, I'd be standing in line right now for it.

Maybe it's because we are used to Dr's more than men - think obgyn - what else do we have to hide? I really do wish more men would talk to their dr about ed because it's just not that big of an issue. The upside D) is wonderful. I deal with it from an insurance perspective in my job - more and more it is covered by most so that's not a reason anymore. Do it boys. *stern look*

Wetpinkpetals said:

Any advice on how to pick out and use a cock ring? Drugs for ED?

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On cockrings, how about a look see at the thread I host. Click from my signature. Notwithstanding the point that pplwatching made: the bigging up has to happen before the cockring works its magic holding and enhancing the erection.

On drugs for ED, notwithstanding it's unregulated in most countries and there is rubbish and danger out there as well as really good stuff [in Europe anyway], there are herbal Vs which are good, I say! Again, click on the thread I host about that, from my signature.

That said, I do agree with the women who are saying, 'what's the big problem about seeing your doctor!' Guys, just do it! and say, "It's ED. Let me tell you how it is for me."

Simon

beingtrue2me said:

Q: for the men. What in the world is your problem with Viagra?

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As someone who has very recently gone down this road, here's my experience. My former (now retired) Md brought up the subject during my annual exams because erection issues can be related to a number of health problems. I wasn't having any issues at the time, but was still under 50.

The first time that I met my current Md was during my annual last year. She didn't ask "how's sex?" like my old doc did, but asked open ended questions like "Anything else you'd like to discuss?" She has a different approach than he did, but I had been seeing him since I was a teenager and we had a very unique rapport. She's much younger than I am, and the dynamic between us is different.

I have noticed a decline in the last year or so, and while I can't speak for anyone else here's what was going through my head before I brought up the subject with her. I was thinking

o this is normal for being 50ish
o maybe after 20+ years of having sex with the same woman we're just in a rut
o i don't always have an issue. Sometimes I get pretty awesome wood (if I do say so myself ;-)
o maybe if I just work on spicing things up in the bedroom ... loose some weight ... start exercising
o various web sites say "if you can achieve penetration, you don't need ED drugs"
o even after my copay, these drugs are very expensive

It doesn't really bother me to admit that I'm getting older, but there was a little bit of reluctance to talk about it with a woman who is practically a stranger (even though she is my doctor). I can blather on about just about any sex subject on Lit, but IRL I'm not that extroverted. My brain says "this is your doctor", but I still felt like sex was a personal subject.

At my last appointment we were discussing circulatory issues, and I brought up that my erections aren't what they used to be. I wasn't angling for ED drugs, but she took that as an invitation to talk about sex. She asked "do you want medication?" and made it clear that she would write a prescription if I wanted one, and then steered the conversation to lifestyle and medical conditions. I left with a prescription for Viagra.

As expected, the drugs are very expensive. After my copay and cutting the big pills down to size, I think it works out to about $5 a pop. We're having sex twice a week, so figure $40/mo or $450/yr if I were to take it every time. However, I don't need it every time so I have to guess when I might need it. Kind of a hassle, but I liked the results the couple of times that I've taken it.

Anyway, that's my experience.

Cost in different nations:

Here in the UK prescription medication is a straight 8.40 for those who must pay. Is that about 12 dollars? In the case of viagra that's for eight pops. For all aged 60 and over all prescription medicine including Ed drugs are free. This is our National Health Service.

And generic viagra or cialis can be bought online delivered from Mumbai at cost lower than our prescription charge and it's perfectly good stuff.

Vacuum Pump

Just in case someone is interested:
This is the one I use:
http://www.parentgiving.com/shop/product_large/l-impo-aid-vacuum-penis-pump-battery-3685.jpg
I use the electric version of the Impo-Aid. Have not tried the hand operated version, think the electric is simpler. I find it ‘easy’ to operate, just takes a little practice. You can buy them from Amazon Prime but I bought mine from ADW Diabetes because it was cheaper. I don’t have diabetes, but various sites run sales. I think I paid around $100. I bought extra size #4 rings which were $10 apiece. Rings do last a long time as long as you use water-based lube and not silicone-based lube (silicone lube degrades the silicone ring). https://www.adwdiabetes.com/.

By all means get your partner to assist. She can watch it grow before her very eyes!

Couple of other tips:
• I use two rings at the same time (the lip of the tube extends far enough to accommodate two rings). Two rings do better job of preventing backflow of blood out of the penis.
• Be lubed up when you remove the rings, otherwise, hard to get off. Need to remove rings after about 45 minutes and allow circulation for a while. Then can re-pump after 10 minutes or so and go again.
• The pump comes with an assortment of ring sizes. Experiment and see what works best for you. The #4 was not in the original assortment, so I bought them separately.

re cock rings

I suffer from Ed and use via gra but if we wait longer than an hour and a half, I cannot keep my erection up. How does a cock ring work?

September4december said:

I suffer from Ed and use via gra but if we wait longer than an hour and a half, I cannot keep my erection up. How does a cock ring work?

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Let me attempt an answer, S4D.

There are two entirely different things, both called cockrings which is most confusing. There are these:

A quite tight small diameter slightly stretchy ring designed to fit around the base of a guy's penis shaft, to 'hold' an erection once it is achieved, and to be worn for no more than 20 minutes because of the degree of restriction of blood flow out, and to a degree in also. In what I have read about use of a cockring in the case of quite severe ED, this is the sort of cockring which is being suggested I think.

Then there is another wholly different thing also called a cockring, and there is a huge variety of these things made of different materials from steel to silicone to leather to wood even, and gold with diamonds. These have a larger internal diameter and are designed to fit 'behind' a guy's balls so that the whole of his equipment is through the ring. With the stretchy silicone ones that's easy enough, and with the fixed diameter ones a guy has to learn the gentle art of getting the damn thing on before he begins to big up for an erection, else it becomes impossible to fit, and indeed impossible to take off while erect. These rings are not designed as an assistance for guys with severe ED, BUT, together with use of viagra or such, they may be just the ticket for keeping a guy with ED confidently 'up', during the time his medication is effective. I don't know that, but I suspect it. I only know that for myself, with mild ED, this 'balls and cock through' kind of cockring enhances my sexual experience hugely, as it does that of my wife. These kinds of cockrings, assuming care with correct sizing, can be worn for longer periods, indeed indefinitely, as guys such as myself do.

I host a thread about this second sort of cockring, and you can find it by clicking onto the link in my signature.

Simon

My bf of several years has ED I've tried a lot of things to try to get him in the mood...sexy tank tops with my nipples obviously protruding out, lotions, creams, rubbing his cock, etc and nothing works! I'm trying my best to be understanding and I love him deeply, but he doesn't like talking about his condition and I guess I'm just supposed to go without any type of stimulation physically at all! I have a vibrator that eases some of my sexual cravings, but we all know it's not the same. We have months and months without ANY type of sexual contact and I'm honestly getting exhausted. I know if the problem were reversed, he'd already found some satisfaction elsewhere, because most men (not all men) aren't going to wait on wondering when they might get their next hard on sex session. He's had consultation with his doc and has tried Viagra and Cialis and that too has only worked for him a few times. He has told me that he is not masturbating during a long dry spell....so, WTF? I'm about to explode from sexual frustration

HarleyBubbles21 said:

My bf of several years has ED �� I've tried a lot of things to try to get him in the mood...sexy tank tops with my nipples obviously protruding out, lotions, creams, rubbing his cock, etc and nothing works! I'm trying my best to be understanding and I love him deeply, but he doesn't like talking about his condition and I guess I'm just supposed to go without any type of stimulation physically at all! I have a vibrator that eases some of my sexual cravings, but we all know it's not the same. We have months and months without ANY type of sexual contact and I'm honestly getting exhausted. I know if the problem were reversed, he'd already found some satisfaction elsewhere, because most men (not all men) aren't going to wait on wondering when they might get their next hard on sex session. He's had consultation with his doc and has tried Viagra and Cialis and that too has only worked for him a few times. He has told me that he is not masturbating during a long dry spell....so, WTF? I'm about to explode from sexual frustration��

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Well first *sympathy hugs you* As for your problem you got two basic choices, stick with the guy or walk away. I mean with something like that has he seend a psychologist to see if the problem is in his head rather than physical??

Believe me, it's a struggle! I have suggested he see a sex therapist, but that has not happened. He's in his mid 40's and I am as well, and this is getting really old to me. I have tried not to harp on the issue, but I'm not sure what I'm getting out of this relationship as it is now. I'm not a sex addict by any means but I do like to know the man I'm with is attracted to me and wants to satisfy me in some way sexually...it can be frustrating at times and I don't understand it

I have a bad case of ED. My treatment is incredible.
I use the injection-able meds from a compounding pharmacy.
The I use a rubber o ring. I put the o ring around balls and penis. They are $1 or so at the hardware store. I am really big and use a 2" . Just buy every size between too small and too big. Put the balls in first then the penis. the ring stops the blood flow from leaving the penis on the top. You want flow to go through the bottom.
The best prices are at a compounding pharmacy for ED meds. Many dod not market to the Dr offices so getting info from the pharmacy may help the Dr.
Go to a Urologist. They do ED like a factory. They will teach how to inject and prescribe the meds.
My wife calls me a telephone pole.
Pills can have side effects.
With injection-sables you can choose to use a full dose for intercourse or a smaller one for a hand job to save money.

HarleyBubbles21 Turn on your PMs.

cut

cutting

Edit: oh, I see thread is from last October...OP probably isn't reading....never mind..

Less than a decent bottle of wine. Well worth it, I'd say.