Aussieroughguy
Virgin
- Joined
- Oct 14, 2013
- Posts
- 24
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Last edited:
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Hey thanks for replying.
Firstly what do you mean regarding the "measurement thing that many here criticize"
What are my punctuation problems. No offense and I appreciate the comments but it's no good telling me that I have punctuation problems without telling me what they are. How else am I going to learn? If you don't care to point them out, I completly understand as we're all time poor no doubt.
Masturbation category... I didn't see one but I could have easily missed it. I still think it belongs in the category that it's in because that's more about what it is. As for the tag - you're right, that's one I missed.
Interesting - another person who offered feedback told me that there was nothing glaringly obviously wrong with my punctuation except perhaps my OVERUSE of commas. But you're suggesting the opposite.
But that's cool, it's all advice to take under my wing. And I thank you for providing it.
So to get this right you're suggesting the following:
Stephen carried his bottle of bourbon and mixers into the party, entering through the front door, while cheering to his mates that he had arrived. It wasn't a large party by any means, but Stephen enjoyed that, as he felt more comfortable with smaller groups and people he knew. In all, there were twelve people - seven guys and five girls, including him. He had known them all since high school.
Stephen was relaxed and excited, because he had been looking forward to this for a few days. Just a good old-fashioned catch-up with his mates. Being nineteen, he and the rest of them had entered either the workforce or university. He himself was currently studying business, and it was good to have a break.
The others had already arrived and were sitting around the lounges with various discussions going on among them, drinks in hand. Stephen entered the kitchen and poured himself a bourbon and dry and put his ginger ale into the fridge. He took a swig and winced slightly, because he realized he had made himself a strong drink.
Hi guys,
well my first submission was accepted and is now up. Would love to hear some feedback.
My story was meant to be more erotic and not just a sex story. I hope you find it as such.
http://www.literotica.com/s/erotic-witness