Kathykitten
Really Experienced
- Joined
- Mar 23, 2008
- Posts
- 125
"Dominant" is a less than accurate term for this particular milieu. While it puts a fine point on things, he is not a "dominant" in this relationship. He is the "Master". It is not D/s, it's M/s. The rules are different.
That said, even in D/s, while the dominant partner is not more important in toto, by the structure of the dynamic, said dominant partners wants are per force more important, and certainly more immediate. That is pretty intrinsic to the formation of an unequal power relationship.
Again, the dominant person is not more important in theory, but his or her wants are more important, at least in the sort of micro view we're talking here. In any functional relationship, no one's needs are more important in the macro sense, but there is no long view being taken here.
Is that to say that in all truth, he truly is more worth and more important than Eastern Sun? Not trying to strike any debate here, just out of curiosity. I fully respect that the masters needs and wants come first, that is a given in the M/S. but underneath all of this, surely they are both in it because they want, need, and love eachother pasisonately. And respect eachother at an equal basis, along with all their individual desires.
It is from that standpoint that I think its worth questioning if he has forgotten the worth of her sacrifice to him, when he could think of giving her punishment for a clearly wise choice. He should view it as just another way that she serves him; by actually having a clear mind and making that choice when he couldn't see it straight.
I may be out of my league here, but this particular case really interests me.
*blink* Why the vehemence? Did he drag her out into the street by hair and frog march her to the store? Did he set her on fire? Or did he just get sullen and pissy for a while? I'm not saying that he was the Dalai Lama, but, she-yow, mention silent treatment and people suddenly get their hair on fire.
Must appologise if I came of strong, I just have so little respect for the "Silent" treatment. It's a quick escape, when he can't find a way to communicate about it, or put words to things and then deal with them in other forms of disipline. If he needs time to sort himself out, then at least let her know this. It just makes me aggitated that he cannot face her with what happened, and actually talk about it. (Possibly talk about his own bad move if he as intothewoods suggested; is thinking things over).
We see it differently. At the end of the day, and per her descriptions, the guy is guilty of being sullen and uncommunicative. He may have wanted his needs served before those of the children, but I can want a rainbow in my backyard and it won't convince the rain to put one there.
I'm not saying his behaviour was sterling, but what is wrong with wanting something? Again, no violence or coercion was used.
Yup, guilty of that. You say no violence used, but I have to count what he is doing to be a form of mental and emotional abuse, even if in a light way.
I don't want to burn the fellah or anything like that, I just want him to get a grip and at least let Eastern Sun in on what he's going through.
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