LuciousLadyMary
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Dec 20, 2018
- Posts
- 2,097
Can't speak for others of course but I feel more visible now that I did in my 30's.
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I love this.
Perhaps a more positive take on the invisibility that come with aging in women?
https://www.theatlantic.com/enterta...tent=20190927&silverid-ref=MzEwMTU3NTc1MzI2S0
I found the piece to be interesting for a number of reasons, and was especially interested find the following statement, since it mirrors some of my own long-held views:
It is a cliché to point out that ours is a culture in which men routinely objectify women, but according to Alison Carper, a psychologist who practices in New York, if a woman is complicit in this practice—that is, in viewing herself as an object—she cannot help but be acutely aware when that object loses its desirability.
As a thinking, reasoning male, and one who is strongly attracted to women with similar characteristics, I've always looked askance at those who feel they have the moral and intellectual high ground by repeating the cliche of women being objectified by men, since it implies that women either do not do it to themselves or other women, or that they are not at least complicit.
It seems that a great many women do not consider themselves - or other women they may encounter - to be completely turned out unless they have gone to great lengths and expense to create an object of themselves, from their hair to their shoes. And much of this endeavor, especially as women grow older, is quite often devoted to creating an illusion of being younger.
So then we have a situation in which it is not only common but expected for a woman to, first of all, present an illusory image of herself; one which is designed to bring attention to that image - and not, necessarily then, to her true or inner self - and also, over time, to attempt to present the illusion of a younger woman, which would imply that she herself does not value her true self, and indeed seeks to conceal it from others, whether male or female.
She herself presents the object to be considered and admired as we might any work of art or illusion, and therefore to be desired on some level(s), most of which are superficial in nature, and in so doing then, in my view, sacrifices the right to complain about being regarded as an object.
The next problem, and the one that brings us closer to our original discussion here, is that the by-product of much of this art as practiced for the purpose of appearing younger is consequently the projected notion that her present self is of less value or desirability than that of a younger woman. She has become complicit in strengthening the source notion of the cliche, and therefore making an argument for it, so we can hardly hold men responsible for believing or accepting it.
That's the general perception, and moving to my specific perceptions, realizing that I am in the minority, I suppose I've never subscribed to much or any of this, since I've never, at any age, been attracted to girls or women who wear very much make-up or perfume at all. It all just becomes more and more of a distraction - which makes me all the more certain that this is exactly the intent. And if that's the case, what are you attempting to conceal, and why? Approaching with an obvious deception is not, at least in my own case, likely to engender a lot of confidence or trust, and certainly not, then, desire.
And when it comes to older women, as I've stated early on in this thread, I'm looking at and for the strength and confidence projected by women who
are proud of their years and experience. You simply cannot fight time, and when I see a woman who is quite apparently spending large amounts of time and resources in the attempt to do so, well she may well then be one of those who just "disappear" from my view, since I just don't care to offer any of my own time or attention to that woman.
So this perhaps then raises another interesting question. Are many women causing themselves to "disappear" in the attempt to appear as something they are not ... and no longer can be? We've seen the overwhelming evidence, in this thread alone, that sensible men everywhere find mature and confident women to be increasingly attractive as their years go on, and hardly regard them as invisible. Objects are often quickly and easily forgotten. An interesting woman never is.
Thank you for your thoughtful post.
It may be a bit unfair to blame women for being treated like objects whose value is limited to their appearance because they wear makeup and take pains to dress nicely. It seems the argument is somewhat backward; I think women, especially, feel societal pressure to look "nice," and this pressure becomes more intense as she ages. Why blame her?
The societal pressure comes from both men and women, agreed.
There are some women who have natural beauty who look very attractive with no makeup, with little attention to their appearance. There are older women who age gracefully and still look beautiful au naturel.
But we can't all look like the women in the Viagra commercials. Not everyone is blessed with those kind of looks. Since youth and beauty is so deified in our culture (by men and yes, women), do you blame women who try to make the most of what they have by a little eyeliner, mascara, and a fashionable haircut? Can you instead sympathize with them rather than scorn them?
If a women (at any age) doesn't feel "pretty enough", she may try to make up for that perceived deficit by wearing makeup, adding highlights to her hair, taking care to dress well. A woman blessed with innate natural beauty may have the confidence to let that natural beauty stand alone. A women without such gifts may (probably rightfully) worry that people will think she's "giving up" or "letting herself go" as she ages if she doesn't go through her daily appearance rituals.
I wish we did live in a world where appearances didn't matter.
Never under estimate an older woman... my last two lovers were 70 and then 58. Both were thin, attractive and very much into lovemaking.
I never under estimate any woman however, I will say this about women close to and beyond age 50.
These are the ladies who have lived and learned...they know about themselves, what they like and what they don't. They know much more than we think they do about others too
My wife is in her 60's and she is more than smart, really beautiful and loves everything about being sexual, both how to be pleasured and how to give pleasure...something I think most ladies over 50 know more about than maybe most men give them credit for...I love mature females a lot...when I look at younger females, I often think "...if only they knew..." lol
I'm sure some men see it that way but certainly not all. I'm 48 and men of all ages obviously notice me all the time. I say obviously because they make it obvious. They want me to notice them noticing me. It's not every man (when I was younger it was more men, that's true) but it's a lot of them.
I'm sure some men see it that way but certainly not all. I'm 48 and men of all ages obviously notice me all the time. I say obviously because they make it obvious. They want me to notice them noticing me. It's not every man (when I was younger it was more men, that's true) but it's a lot of them.
Paula was a former lover that was about 8 years older than me. We met on my last semester of college and fell in love. The sex was hot but due to personal issues she was having, she broke off the relationship. Fast forward 40 years, I decided to check up on her when I was back home. I found she was alone with virtually no sex life or self-satisfaction in almost 15 years. We only had lunch but started to correspond with each other and she began to encourage sex discussions between us. So, when I got back home, I went online and order her a luxury, cordless vibrator. Her first one! She did not ask for one and I wanted to see if she would use. After receiving noticed it was delivered, I decided to call her a couple days later. When she answered she was out of wind and breathing hard. I asked if she got and she said she had been using it all day and never had squirting orgasms until now. She also said, for the last 24 hours all she had been wearing was a T-shirt around the house and washing bed sheets that kept getting wet from her orgasms.
Following those weeks, she started to tell me her fantasies and to help supplement those fantasies I hooked up with Erika Lust movies online. As she was watching them and getting very turned on, she said she regretted for not having the experience with another woman. Especially the chance of sucking the nipples of a very large breasted woman. When she saw this is the various videos, she got very wet. So, I invited her to come out to the East coast and stay with me for a few days. I knew of a bi female masseuse with very large middle eastern breasts that is willing to go the erotic step for a small fee. So, I arrange for her to come to my place on the second night of her stay. Without telling her in advance, we had a wonderful, hot sexy first night and she came many times. On the second day, I told her that I had arranged for a private massage before we went out for dinner. I told her it was a corporate masseuse and she bought into it. Well, I told her to shower and put on a robe before Jasmine arrived. I set up the bedroom with scented candles and white towels over the bed. When she arrived, I opened a bottle of red wine and everyone drank while we small talked. Jasmine and Paula went into the bedroom and she had Paula lay down on her stomach. For the next 15 minutes she oiled and massage her body with eventually working on Paula’s ass. I stood at the doorway in silence and watched this sexy moment. While Paula was on her back, Jasmine was slowly removing her uniform without her knowledge. When she asked her to roll over to her back, Jasmine’s large breasts and dark, erect nipples was inches from her face. Without saying a word, Paula reached up and touched each breast with her hand. She rolled those hard nipples between her fingers for a moment, and then leaned up and took her left one into hungry mouth. Jasmine moaned and began to finger Paula’s clit which she began to moan. This when on for a few moments when Jasmine leaned down to Paula’s shaved pussy and took her clit into her mouth. Later Paula said she came the first time within seconds of that happening. While Jasmine was pleasuring her, Paula began to explore Jasmine’s naked body with her hands. She found her shave pussy and dipped a couple of fingers in it and then licked the juices off her fingers. A couple minutes later, Paula was moaning louder and louder as Jasmine brought her to second climax. Jasmine then came between her legs and kiss Paula deeply. They both moan as Paula played with Jasmine’s hard, dark nipples. Paula leaned up from the bed and said it your turn. I want to lick my first pussy and make you cum in my mouth. Jasmine said it has been awhile and she would love to have be pleasured. Paula got between her legs and looked up to me and smile, I want this so bad! She then dove in and began to lick and suck her clit. After a couple minutes, Jasmine began to moan and play with Paula’s head, pushing her deeper into her pussy. It took about five minutes, but Jasmine came in Paula’s mouth and she could not get enough. After Jasmine’s orgasm subsided, Paul moved up to kiss her one more time. Than they both looked at me and said, join us, it is your turn.
I am in my early 50's, my wife is 4 years older than me and she turns me on more than any other woman has ever done. When we started dating I was in my mid 40's, and I was actually looking forward to 50 so I could join 1 or 2 of those dating websites for people over 50. So to answer the question, Hell No.
Truthfully, I have more visibility now in my 60s than any other decade in my life!
I'm certainly not....58